Sebastian really should have seen it coming.
In his experience, the moment things started going too smoothly, you had better run for cover, because you were probably standing in the calm eye of the hurricane, and any second, gale force winds would be there to knock you down and drown you in a torrential downpour.
Okay, so maybe he was being a little dramatic, but under the circumstances, he figured he could be allowed a little resentful anger.
Maybe it was karma. Or fate. He knew he wasn't exactly warm and fuzzy and friendly, but why did he have to be? He was working on being a better person, but he didn't see why that meant he had to fall over himself being everyone's best friend.
The closer you let people, the more opportunity they had to disappoint you. Or hurt you.
So yes, he kept his distance from most people. Yes, he knew most of the Warbler's respected him for the most part, and tolerated him mostly good-naturedly, but he wouldn't exactly say they were best friends.
He had chosen to keep himself mostly isolated.
So when things started going wrong, it made it that much easier to keep everyone out.
And that much harder.
Sebastian had never been one to worry excessively. As far as he was concerned, potential problems were everywhere, and if you bothered yourself fussing over things that may never happen, you would just make yourself crazy.
The last few weeks had become a rather severe test on that philosophy, however.
It started gradually, an unusual weariness that Sebastian couldn't quite shake, and couldn't figure out. He was working out regularly, eating properly, sleeping, well, maybe not enough, but no less than usual. And yet his stamina wasn't quite up to par.
Then one night, rubbing both of his aching calf muscles, trying to get the tension to release after a particularly grueling lacrosse practice, he noticed a strange little lump on his leg. It was tender to the touch, and Sebastian wondered idly if he had hit his leg against something without remembering or noticing at the time. He figured it would go away on it's own after a few days.
Except it didn't.
Sebastian couldn't be sure, but it felt as if it might be getting worse. It was always tender, and he found himself babying it during practice, trying to avoid hits that would have just glanced right off him before.
A couple weeks went by, and it didn't improve. It hurt. It made Sebastian grumpy. He wasn't sleeping well, he had never been a heavy sleeper, and any little toss or turn could jar the spot and he'd awaken, biting down a gasp of pain. Lacrosse was getting more and more difficult, and he knew he was snapping at his teammates unnecessarily, but he couldn't seem to keep a lid on his temper. His nerves felt raw. Physically and emotionally.
Even the Warbler's were annoying him. Little missteps, tiny inadvertent jostles against his body by a stray arm or leg set his teeth on edge. His jaw was starting to ache as much as the rest of him from constantly gritting his teeth to avoid letting any kind of pained expression escape. He felt bad every time he snapped at Jeff, or Trent, but he couldn't seem to help it.
He was tired. And in pain. And afraid of what it might mean.
He had done an internet search one night Hunter was out of the room, looking for reasons for his symptoms.
What he found had hadn't exactly calmed his nerves.
It could be nothing. But...it could be..not nothing. The only way to know for sure was to schedule an appointment and have his leg checked out.
It was moments like these Sebastian almost resented people like Kurt, or Jeff. Kurt's father would have been there in an instant, beside his side, figuring out what was wrong together. Kurt's father actually intimated Sebastian quite a bit. Not that he would ever admit that out loud. To anyone. Ever. Jeff's parents would have probably noticed before Jeff even did. And immediately scheduled an appointment and his mother would have been so overbearingly supportive Jeff would be complaining amusedly for weeks after.
Sebastian wasn't even entirely sure where his parents were. They had planned a trip somewhere or other, sometime this month, but they traveled so much Sebastian had long since abandoned attempting to keep track of their schedule. Even if they were home, he would rather be at Dalton than with them.
Still, it would have been nice to have an actual adult to consult about this.
He didn't dare mention it to the Warbler's. They would want to help. And while he appreciated it, he really did, he didn't think he could stand their particular brand of help right now. The worry, the eagerness, the insistence to show up with soup or movies or God knows what and ask if he wanted to talk about his feelings.
He would rather be eaten by piranha, thanks just the same.
He would have to always put up a front, convince them he was fine, and he was too tired right now to manage it. Besides...it was probably nothing, right?
So Sebastian did what he always did. He took care of himself. He called the doctor's office, made an appointment, texted his parents in case they needed to sign some sort of form or something, and promptly went back to pretending everything was fine as he waited for his appointment. They couldn't see him until the middle of next week, so he just upped the dosage of painkillers to something probably not recommended by doctors, and continued going to lacrosse and Warbler's practice and pretending everything was fine.
He thought he was doing a pretty good job keeping his temper under control, but the concerned looks the Warbler's cast in his direction when they thought he wasn't looking grated on his nerves. As did Hunter's annoyed ones.
If Hunter would stop with his perfectionism and refusal to listen to reason, then maybe Sebastian wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to Captain himself with his hands mostly tied by the official Captain. Who still needed a good sitting down and talking to.
And if Sebastian hadn't been already working off energy he didn't even have anymore, maybe he would have done it. But he was. So he couldn't. He could only hope Hunter's slight mellowing out after the whole Get-Blaine-Back attempt failed and was over with would be enough.
Part of him wished Blaine had actually returned, because then maybe they would all just forget about him and Blaine could lead them away from their slightly neurotic Captain, but mostly he was just relieved that Blaine's continued absence meant that there wouldn't be any awkwardness between their old lead and the guy who had thrown a slushee at him.
Even if said guy was reformed. Really, he was.
He wasn't entirely sure who's side the rest of the team would end up on though, and if it came to a Blaine-or-Sebastian vote, Sebastian suspected he wouldn't stand a chance.
So, no, he wasn't overly upset Blaine had elected to stay with the McKinley Misfits.
Bewildered, but not upset. Honestly, if Hunter had gone about it in a less...insane way, he might have actually convinced Blaine to return.
So maybe he should be thanking Hunter for deciding to turn himself into an evil cartoon villain.
Or maybe not, he conceded as he absently listened to Hunter complain at him over one thing or another as he shrugged on his jacket and headed for the door. He had stopped giving Hunter his full attention when he started speaking in that tone a week or two ago. It was the only thing that kept him from actually taking a swing at him on particularly bad days. So he just nodded, made some sort of noncommittal noise, and shut the door behind Hunter, who, if he had been half-hearing correctly, seemed to think he was going off to get laid again or something.
It was kind of offensive, actually, Sebastian mused as he pulled his keys from his pocket and headed for his car so he could make his doctor's appointment. The amount of time Hunter seemed to think he spent screwing around with people. Sebastian honestly had no idea where he got these crazy ideas from. Yeah, he liked to flirt. Yeah, he had been known to hook up on occasion at Scandals. But making out on the dance floor or even wandering into a private corner for a little additional...entertainment hardly meant he had made it his life goal to sleep his way through the student body at Dalton, or the population of Scandals. Most of the guys in there Sebastian doubted even bathed regularly. And Hunter thought he had so little control or self esteem he would let anyone sleep with him?
Sebastian decided to conclude that Hunter was merely jealous, because thinking anything else made him feel...dirty. Used. He didn't like that at all.
He would go to the doctor. He would get his leg checked. It would be no big deal, they would give him some sort of medication or ointment and everything would be fine. He had to believe that.
Because he wasn't sure if he could handle it if it wasn't.