Disclaimer: I'm not some fucking Japanes genius dude. Fuck, I wanna sleep!
Warnings: You ought to know em by know, idiots. Ugh, SLEEP! NOW!
"Hello and welcome to Frank Furter's Frankfurters! How may I help you today?" We asked glibly as we smoothly turned on our heel to face the newest customer.
"Yo, get me a number 3 with a side of fries and a coke!" the unshaven and rather shady looking guy said while his loathsome beady eyes trailed over our form. We simply nodded and tried to get away as fast as we could. Naruko wanted to sneer at the man and call him every bad name in the book, but we knew that would get us fired so fast our head would spin.
"Oh, and, Blondie, how much for an hour?" the man inquired. For a second or two, our brow furrowed in confusion, then, realization hit, and with that, fury. This little maggot of a man thought we were a whore! We swirled around angrily.
"Nothing, because we are not for sale! But, good sir, we can assure that if we were, you would never be able to afford us!" We snarled into his shocked face. We ran off before he could retaliate, and headed for the bathroom.
We stared into the blue eyes staring back at ours in the mirror. We just stared, and stared, and stared, and stared. They seemed to swirl, and the world around me spun. Finally, everything seemed to tilt completely topsy-turvy and I dropped to the ground, scraping at the tiles 'til my fingers became slightly bloody. I groaned, feeling nausea as well as a strange emptiness and loneliness. Vaguely, I thought I heard Naruko's irate shriek, but I slapped my hands over my ears, not wanting to acknowledge it.
Suddenly, everything just seemed to be closing in on me, and I knew I needed to get out and breathe some fresh air. I pulled myself slowly to my feet and staggered like a drunkard out of the bathroom and into the alley by the restaurant. What was I doing?
"'Allo, what are you doing?" A voice asked. Oh great, an echo in my head. As if just a plain old voice wasn't incriminating enough, now I really seem crazy!
"'Allo, you! I'm talking to you! What're you doing?" The voice repeated itself. Figuring I might as well just give in to the crazy, I replied…without looking up. I wasn't that nutty just yet, thank you very much!
"I have no fucking clue."
"Well," the voice gave a wry chuckle," that makes two of us." I felt someone flop down next to me on top of another bag of garbage. That's when I figure this guy was probably real, so I turned slightly to take a look.
The man and it was a man, as I had thought, had long reddish-orange hair in a ponytail that would have more accurately been called a fox-tail. His eyes were a sharp almost glowing reddish color, and he had three strange whisker marks on each cheek. He shot me a sharp-toothed grin and stuck out his hand.
"The name's Kyubi no Kitsune, the job's...collector of rare items, let's say. And who might you be, ma Cherie?" He introduced himself. I shook his hand with my bloody one. He didn't bat an eyelash, and I noticed dried blood beneath his fingernails.
"I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I work in the restaurant," I replied. Kyubi's eyebrows rose and his mouth pulled into a half smile, half smirk.
"…Well, that hardly seems a fitting place for a boy like you, Naruto. You ought to live in a castle, with maids to wait upon your every whim! You ought to have a dress for everyday, and a silk one at that!" he proclaimed. I frowned lightly.
"What do you mean "a dress for everyday'? I'm a boy," I added. He shot me a "duh, stupid!" look.
"I know that! But, Naruto, ma Cherie, there are just some boys made for dresses! The normal, plebian clothes are rough on your delicate skin! What you need is silk, velvet, satin, cashmere, and the finest Egyptian cotton. Ma Cherie, your body needs silk and satin! Your eyes call for gems and pearls! Your body was made to be seen, painted, and lusted for. Would you deny yourself these things that are so essential, ma Cherie?" Kyubi asked softly, staring into my eyes. I wanted to tell him to shut up and go away; to stop being so silly, but what he said made me think.
Was it perhaps true that I needed such things? Was that the reason I was so attracted to Sasuke, the heir to the fabulously wealthy Uchiha family? Was that the reason that, try as I might, I could not be content with staying with poor Koto and her mother? I looked at Kyubi.
"Do you really think so?" I queried. A feral grin spread across his fox-like face.
"Of course I think so, ma Cherie! Come with me to Paris, yes? I will get you the things you should have! You will dine with celebrities, and be the talk of royalty!" he promised. But something was bothering me.
"Why would you do this for me?" I asked. Then his eyes took on a shifty light.
"Well, ma Cherie, I am the crown prince of the Kingdom of Konoha. My father is old, and will die soon; however, before I can get the throne, the blasted Council of Elders wants me to at least have a significant other. Now, I do not truly want a significant other, but you, ma Cherie, could pretend to be my lover. Then the Council will grant me the throne, we will stay 'together' a bit longer, and then we'll have a nice, friendly mutual break up, leaving us both free to openly pursue other…interests, so to speak," the prince explained. Something he said caught my attention.
"What exactly do you mean by 'openly pursue'?" He shot me another "duh" look.
"Well, of course, we'll be pursuing whoever we want discretely. I mean, if I actually stayed only with you, you might as well be a real significant other, which is what I'm trying to avoid, so, are you in?" he held out his hand to me. I looked at it, trying to look at this from all the angles.
I'd have pretty much whatever I wanted, I'd get to meet celebrities and really experience the rich side of life. I wouldn't even really be this player's lover, I'd just be pretending. Yeah, I could do this! It wasn't like I had anything here that was so wonderful.
"Okay, I'm in," I answered, and took his hand.
"Without further ado, welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Paris!" the pilot finished his speech and the plane began its descent. I couldn't help the over-large cheesy grin that split my face. I was already reaping the benefits of my descision, because, after all, business class flights to Paris were nothing to sneeze at! I relaxed back in my chair, humming happily under my breath. There was a sigh from the seat next to me. I ignored it in favor of peering out the window, trying my best to see as much as the city as I could from the air.
The airport was a bit hectic, but we were soon on our way out and heading towards discrete concrete gray Chrysler 300. A chauffeur opened the door and closed in neatly after us before hopping in him and driving us out into the city.
"Thank you, Max, for being as punctual as ever. We'll be heading to Hinata's, after which you'll drop us off at the airport once more. Then, go back to the house, exchange this car for the white stretch, and come pick us up again. Oh yes, and be sure to tell Lisa what you'll be doing when you leave, are we clear?" Kyubi paused to make sure his, in my humble opinion, nonsensical orders were fully understood, by Max at least. The chauffeur gave a silent nod in answer and Kyubi slumped back in his seat for moment turning around to face me as best he could. I turned a bit also to accommodate him.
"Now, Cherie, here is the deal. You are to be my new lover whom I met and fell madly in love with while on my trip to Japan, okay? You will, at first, speak little English, and you will be, for the most part, quiet. For lack of a better word, Cherie, you will be 'arm candy' and nothing much more," Kyubi explained. I shot him an annoyed.
"How can I convince the Council that we 'love' each other madly if all I do is hang on to your arm in the latest fashions and stare vacantly at the camera?" I questioned in a slightly patronizing tone. He frowned, and I could tell he disliked that tone immensely. I filed that away for future reference.
"…Fine. You may act however you see fit, if you are able to convince the Council of our 'love'" the prince compromised. I grinned and thanked him just as we pulled up at a stylish town house. Max stepped out smartly and pulled open the door for us. I hooked my arm with Kyubi's and we strolled up to the door and rang the doorbell. It was opened immediately by a sour faced made who looked us over with a faintly disapproving air before ushering is into a lavishly decorated sitting room and disappearing wordlessly.
"We are here to pick out a…suitable wardrobe for you. Hinata will know what you should wear. You have perhaps heard of her? Her label is the House of Byakugan. She picks out my wardrobe, and she will do the same for you for as long as you remain with me," Kyubi informed me. I simply nodded, still occupied with gaping at all the rich decoration.
"Well, well, well, if it isn't Kyubi-kun! It has been many years since you deigned to darken my cousin's door," drawled out a cultured male voice. I spun around to see a young man with long, silky brown hair, faded purple eyes, and fashionable khaki clothing. Kyubi's face actually brightened, and I realized that this guy also actually looked happy to see him.
"Neji, you rascal! I haven't seen you in ages! Normally you're always on the Riviera cruise, where were you last year?" Kyubi queried. Neji gave a long suffering sigh and a miniscule eye-roll.
"Protecting Hinata is a full time job, which, by the way, I totally love, but when all she does is stay locked up in her studio designing outfits, well, I get bored out of my blessed mind! I took a safari in Tanzania to break the monotony," Neji explained, but before Kyubi could answer, a lovely you lady with looks very similar to Neji's stepped delicately into the room.
"Welcome, Kyubi-kun. And who is the lovely young thing you've brought with you? The woman, who I guessed to be Hinata, said as she shot me a slightly ravenous look. For a moment I was scared she liked me or something else equally disastrous, but then I heard her mutter "-silk blouse with signature jacket-" under her breath and I realized she was simply choosing an outfit for me.
"This is ma Cherie, Naruto. I've brought him here to get a new wardrobe; his old one was atrocious! I think you can help him out, right?" Kyubi raised a questioning eyebrow. Hinata nodded quickly and started back up the stairs before beckoning me after her. She led me to her studio and promptly shut the in Kyubi's face, only then did I notice that he had been following along behind us.
"Let's get to work! Now, I'm no fool, and I've known Kyubi a while, so I'm sure I'm right when I say he wants you what I'd call 'fashionably bland'. In other words, he wants you looking like, if you'll excuse the terminology, every other blonde bimbo on the elite scene. Again, I'm no fool, and even though I don't really know you at all, I'm going to take a chance and say that's not what you want, Naruto-chan. So, I have decided to make you the spokes-model for my new line. It's called Byakugan: Enflamed. It's composed of bright, daring colors with muted accessories, and wild cuts. Do you think you could tell me how to wear it the way it deserves to be worn?" Hinata asked as she buzzed around me with her measuring tape. I thought about her description of the new line for a few moments.
"It sounds like the way to wear it is, in a phrase, devil-may-care. Enflamed is about doing what you like, when you like, how you like, and fuck you, world, for saying otherwise," I finally said. The famous fashion designer shot me a pleasantly surprised look.
"Exactly! I think you have what it takes. Do you?" The hand she held out to me had a silver chain with set fiery red stones in it. I took the jewelry and put it on. It seems like today was just full of big decisions.
After about an hour and a half, the Hyuuga heiress had decided my wardrobe was ready for now and had me dressed head to toe in Byakugan: Enflame. It was time to meet the press. I could tell from the look on Kyubi's face that he was still a little annoyed that I had declined his offer to be his empty-headed blond bimbo, but he said nothing and simply offered me his arm to help me into the car.
Max dropped us off in a discrete side entrance before driving off. Kyubi led us into the bowels of the airport with the ease brought by familiarity. We stayed in a small but luxurious lounge for about twenty minutes before Max called to inform us that he was stationed. Then Kyubi led me out to the pick-up area. I was shocked to see what looked like hundreds of reporters with flashing cameras.
"Smile," Kyubi commanded stiltedly from around the million-dollar smile already pasted on his face. I sighed in annoyance before spreading the best smile I could manage at the moment over my face. I'm afraid it looked much more like a "fuck you" smirk. As we got closer, the reporters began yelling question.
"Prince Kyubi, when did you realize you were gay?" yelled one.
"Mystery boy, do you realize you are dating on of this decade's most notorious player?" questioned another.
"Are you two dating, and where did you meet?" yet another wanted to know. Kyubi raised a hand to silence the crowd somewhat before answering the first question.
"It's never been a 'realization' for me. I've always just known. And I'm not gay, I'm bi." Since the second question had been asked of me, I decided to answer it instead of Kyubi, who had already opened his mouth to explain.
"No, I didn't, but it doesn't matter. In fact, he'd better be the one keeping an eye on me!" I smirked at the camera. They seemed to like my response, going wild with both pads of paper and iPads. Welcome to Big Life, I thought to myself with a grin.
TBC…
AN: Ugh, I'm fucking tired bitches! No wi-fi and the exact moment, but when I get it, I'll post this up. Ciao, biatches!