Chapter 4: Aggravated

(Author's Note: Hey. 'ight, this chapter rated M for intense lauguage later in the chapter. This chapter was VERY amusing to write. And I don't know if Naruto people have pizza, but they do now! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!)

(At 3am)

"Deidara!!" Konan yells. Nothing. "DEIDARA!!" "I'm coming, un." The blonde mumbles sleepily, dragging himself to Konan's room.

"What do you want?"

"Hi. If it's not too much trouble, I'd like something to eat." She says with a perky smile.

Deidara blinks and says, "It's 3am. Can't this wait till 7, un?"

"What's that? My baby is going to die of starvation if it doesn't get something to eat? Well, I'm sorry little one; you're going to have to die. Why? Because Deidara is too tired to get us something to eat, that's why." Konan says with a sarcasm soaked voice.

"Alright, alright. What do you want to eat, un?"

"I want a pizza with feta cheese, hot banana peppers, horse radish, shrimp, and apple."

Deidara's jaw drops.

"You want me to get you a pizza with feta cheese, hot banana peppers, horse radish, shrimp, and apples at 3 in the FRICKIN' morning? Did I get all that, un?"

"Someone's edgy. Yes, that's what I want."

"You are the most infuriating female on the face of this earth. And you're the most horrible person that I've ever had the displeasure of saying I work for."

"Less talky, more walky."

Deidara growls and leaves her room.

"What's that baby? You're going to die? Well, I'm sorry I can't help you, but Deidara is too damn tired to get us something to eat." Deidara says in a mocking voice of Konan.

"I'mGonnaKillThatBitch. I'mGonnaKillThatBitch. I'mGonnaKillThatBitch."

"Ok, Konan. Here's you're pizza." Deidara mumbles when he comes back. "Took ya long enough." She says, sitting up. Deidara growls again and grinds his teeth.

"Well, if it hadn't been 3am, I would have found a pizza place quicker, un."

"Oh well. You got it. Thanks." She mumbles and stuffs a piece in her mouth.

Deidara sighs and turns to leave her room.

"Oh, Dei-kun?"

"-Growls-…Yes?"

"I'd like you to sing for me."

"What?"

"Sing. And it has to be a song from a musical."

"I'm not going to sing, un."

"What did Pein tell you and the rest of the guys?"

"-Sigh- To tend to your every wish."

"Good. I wish for you to sing… "Stars" from Les Misérable."

Deidara runs a hand through his hair and says, "Fine."

(So, Deidara sings, "Stars" and he does a damn fine job.)

"Ok, I'm going to sleep now." Deidara grumbles as he leaves the room. Konan shrugs and keeps eating her pizza.

"Finally. I get to go to sleep, un." Deidara thinks as he crawls into his bed.

"RISE AND SHINE, SEMPAI!! TIME TO WAKE UP!! THE BIRDS ARE SINGING, AND THE SUN IS SHINING!" Tobi shouts, bursting into his sempai's room. Tobi jumps on Deidara, blabbing about how nice it is outside. The blonde glares at the masked boy and growls and low, terrifying growl. Tobi looks at Deidara with wide eyes and says, "Is sempai pretending to be a doggie?"

"Tobi. Get off of me, un."

"Sempai…"

"NOW!"

Tobi jumps off the blonde and says, "MEEP!! Don't hurt Tobi!! Tobi's a good boy!"

"Tobi, I suggest you leave my room right now and cover you're ears, un."

Tobi runs out of the room with his hands over his ears.

"Run, Sasori-san!"

"Why?"

"Tobi doesn't know. Deidara-sempai told Tobi to leave and cover his ears."

"Why would Deidara say-"

(This next part is Rated M for intense swearing)

"FUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKK!! MOTHERFUCKING SHIT!! EVERYONE, JUST FUCK OFF BEFORE I FUCKING SKIN SOMEONE!! ERGH!"

Sasori gapes at Deidara's bedroom door while Kisame, Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu all peek out of their rooms and look in the direction of the swearing.

"Man, Deidara's pissed." Hidan says, walking past Sasori.

Deidara comes out of his room with a big smile.

"Hi, Sasori-no-danna, un. Beautiful day, isn't it?"