A/N: Thank you for all the love. I never get tired of it! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own the Hunger Games.

A special thank you to my beta fnur!

Chapter 4

Peeta POV

As soon as the girls leave, I check the loaf in the oven, glance at the clock and realize that I only have an hour and a half at most until Katniss returns for dinner. Today has been such a long day and yet I have a renewed sense of excitement in anticipation of spending some time alone with her. I have so many questions. I know that she has hers too. I wish tonight would somehow be all fun and no pain, but I know that's not going to happen.

I felt alive seeing her again. My stomach got butterflies and the hair stood up on my neck and arms. Just being in the same room with her heightens my senses. I start launching into a mental rendition of 'you are such a loser for leaving her' and try to focus on the positive. I'm here now and in a short time, we will be sitting across from her eating dinner.

Dinner. I don't know how long it's been since I've really cooked a meal. It wasn't something that I did often in the Capitol and I hardly ever baked as well. I was always out at some function or on some sort of client date. Other than the staples, I never had much food in my house. House, not home. This is home. I walk around and take stock of what furniture I have and what's hanging on the walls. The time has come to make this place homey and not keep the simple design the Capitol gave to these homes. I'm not surprised that Katniss kept the Everdeen home the way it was. She doesn't have an eye for things like this. But I do. I'm an artist and I've seen many homes while in the Capitol.

Beginning tomorrow, that's going to be my new project. I'm going to paint this place and decorate it to make it feel more welcoming. I smile to myself knowing that I hope to make it so welcoming that Katniss and Evan won't want to leave it. That's easier said than done but I have to start somewhere. I head back into the kitchen and check the loaf once again. It's time for it to come out before it burns, so I use a rag to pull it out. Not as agile as I once was, I burn my thumb and curse. "Fuck!"

"That's a dirty word, Peeta." I hear Katniss say from the door.

I spin around and am shocked to see her. She's already showered and changed her clothes. Her damp hair is pulled into a braid and a notice a few drops of moisture soak her orange t-shirt. Orange. I have a flashback to a beautiful orange dress she wore during our Games interview. She looks just as beautiful in jeans and a t-shirt standing before me. I notice slippers on her feet and smile.

"What's with the slippers? I ask. Katniss smiles. "These floors get dirty quickly. We wear socks or slippers in my house. Shoes off at the door."

"Thanks for the tip. You hungry? I didn't even start yet. I got sidetracked."

Katniss raises an eyebrow. "Yes, I'm famished. What are we having?"

"Truth is, I have no idea. Pasta? I have no meat. Just got here and I haven't contracted you to supply me with fresh game yet. You interested in trading with me?" I ask.

Katniss shrugs. "Why? You got something I might want? I already trade with your father for bread." Is she mad? Does she even know that she's flirting with me? I feel my cock twitch in my jeans. Not this soon, damn it. She always has this effect on me.

I have no idea how to respond. Several thoughts race through my mind and I have no idea which card to play. I'm in love with her. I'm attracted to her. I want to be a family. I have no time to make it happen. I have no idea how she feels about me. Bold moves are required.

I close the distance between us until our lips are only a couple of inches apart. I'm definitely invading her personal space. My body heightens at the proximity between us and I can no longer control my manhood, which is itching for her warmth.

My eyes travel up her face and latch onto hers. It's evident there's lust in mine and I see it growing in hers too. I lower my voice and try to keep composed. "Game for dessert?" I ask and I can't help but run my tongue over my lips. Katniss intakes a breath. She's all wrapped up in this exchange too. "Sure" she replies. I don't move. I don't drag myself away from her like I should. I just stand there literally panting like a dog for her.

Katniss breaks our trance. "I supposed I should get dinner on the back porch then." She abruptly moves and walks to the door to fetch whatever she stashed there. I look down at my erection and pray for death. How embarrassing. I need to get myself into the shower and take care of it. It's not going to go away on its own. I position myself behind the table quickly to try to mask it. Katniss returns with a squirrel and some greens. She looks confused as to why I am so awkwardly positioned but she says nothing.

I smile at her. "Squirrel, my favorite. It's been ten years since I've had it. Um, I didn't expect you so soon and I really need to shower. Would you mind if I did that real quick and then we'll make dinner?"

She nods. "Sure. I can wait." I can tell she's lying but I can't hold this boner back anymore. I excuse myself and dash up the stairs, hoping her eyes were on my face and not my crotch.

When I get into the shower, I immediately grasp my cock. I begin stroking it back and forth, thoughts of Katniss flooding my closed eyelids. She's a woman now. She's not starving anymore. She has appropriate weight on her and it graces her curves. I imagine my hand on her hips, pulling her towards me so that our middles meet. I imagine my hand cupping her full breasts and tugging on her erect nipples. I imagine my tongue, darting into her mouth to wrestle with hers. I imagine connecting with her in a way that a man should connect with the woman he loves. Not the way it was our first time. Unexpected and rushed and at the time it felt, forced.

I want it to be real. I let myself go there and imagine that Katniss wants me. That she's missed me. Wished that things worked out differently. I imagine my baby inside of her, Evan, another, it doesn't matter. All the things that I missed and never knew about. The things that I want to experience with her. I jerk myself harder, wanting so badly to make it all real and get there. I want to hear my name on her lips, moaning and climbing to her peak with me. Only with me. After a few more thrusts, I grunt very loudly and spill myself all over my hand and the shower wall. I rest my head against the stall and try to calm down. The water rinses away the evidence of what I've done.

I turn the water off, rub my eyes clear of moisture and then dry off with a towel. I dress quickly and nearly skip down the stairs. I look around and find the already skinned squirrel on the counter. The greens are also out. The bread, tucked away to cool. Katniss is gone. I don't know what to think. Maybe she chickened out and isn't ready to confront our past tonight. Maybe she just felt uncomfortable with me. Maybe I'm drumming up scenarios because I'm nervous myself?

Either way, I have to eat and the allure of fresh squirrel is too good. I cut up the meat and toss it into a frying pan with some oil and spices to brown up. I dress the salad and chill it for a few minutes, I set out the little bit of butter that I have and slice the bread evenly. I set out dinner plates and two glasses of iced tea, hoping that she comes back.

I pace for a couple of minutes and keep looking out the windows. Just then Katniss walks in the back door, pink in the face , takes her shoes off, slips into her slippers and walks over to the table. I hold out her chair for her and push her in, dumbstruck as to where she went. I sit down across from her and I take in her appearance. She looks fairly composed. Hair and clothes look intact but there's just something about the color in her cheeks...

"I feel better now." She says. It's only four little words but they carry tremendous weight. My head flies up ad I look straight into her gray eyes. Katniss doesn't look away and then it makes perfect sense to me. She heard me getting off and then had to go take care of herself. I didn't ever consider that she would be the type to do that. Jealousy creeps into my thoughts. I want to be the one to do that for her. I don't want her to ever have to do that for herself. I sigh. I have no idea how to proceed.

I may as well get the elephant out of the room. "Wow, Katniss. Um, that was really, um...hot." Katniss blushes a deeper shade of red. "No hotter than what you did upstairs Peeta." My fork falls out of my hand.

"You heard me?" I blush. "Peeta, I think the whole Village heard you at the end." Oh shit.

I shake my head and try to hide behind my hands. Childish but I'm stumped. "I'm sorry Katniss. I'm just going to come right out and say it. You can hate me for it but I'm not going anywhere this time." I take a deep breath, get out of my chair, and kneel before her. I take her hands into mine.

"All those years ago, I thought that I forced you. That I hurt you. I felt ashamed. I panicked and once I was in the Capitol, I was sucked in. I made a deal with Snow. It was the worst thing that I had ever done. I regret that single day more than you will ever know. All of my life, I've only wanted you. It's always been you. Time hasn't changed anything. My want and love for you has only intensified." I breathe in again.

"Coming back here, seeing you, meeting Evan, put my world upside down. I thought that you hated me. Didn't want me in your life. I expected to find you married, with a few kids by now. I didn't expect to have so many feelings overwhelm me all at once. I'm done playing games Katniss. There's so much I have to tell you. I want you to know it all. But first, I need you to understand that I love you. I have never stopped loving you. Not for twenty-one years. Not an hour went by that I didn't think about you. I want you...in every single possible way." I kiss her hands again.

Katniss stares into my eyes and then whispers. "Kiss me."

A/N: I know! Another cliffhanger. Sorry, gotta do it to you. What will happen next? Should I throw in a LEMON? REVIEW and tell me or I can take it slow and torture us all!