Disclaimer: The same as before. I gave up writing brand new disclaimers for a while…
Author's Notes: Man, that's the longest prologue I've ever seen… Anyway, don't worry, because this chapter they'll finally (fanfares) meet each other… maybe even talk… (… and fall in love and kiss, living happily ever after. The end. Or wait! Sephy will go insane once more, he'll kill Aeris and marry Movitriss! Yeah, I'm so evil! Uh… just kidding. Stupid me. Strange sense of humor…)
…sense of humor…? What sense of humor!?
Anyway, here goes another long chapter for you! (Could've been shorter but my rule is to write first and think later… and I don't like throwing out anything I've written.) Check it out and don't forget to let me know what you think!
* * *
The day they were supposed to leave the Promised Land was bright and sunny, as if the planet itself wanted to tell them to stay, tempting them with such a marvelous weather.
"Nice piece of junk." Kyro said in the most monotone, unimpressed voice possible, staring at the blue-painted starship. Then he yawned, running a gloved hand through his tousled, blonde hair. "Gods!" he moaned "It's only half past five in the morning!"
"Stop complaining." Movitriss glared at him "You shouldn't have stayed that late with your friends yesterday."
"Probably not." Kyro shrugged, deciding it wouldn't be wise to argue with her; she was still quite mad at him about what he had done at the last Council meeting "…But I simply had to say goodbye to them. I'm not gonna see them for long, right?"
"Well, they're not going to see you very soon but for you it would be only a one-week-journey. According to the theory of relativity…"
"I know the theory of relativity!" he cut her short, irritated with everybody's habit of treating him like a fool only because he was a little younger. "Anyway, how far is Sandalya?"
"About four hundred and twenty-eight million kilometers away from our current position…" Movitriss finished lacing up her shoe and straightened up.
"Gods!" exclaimed Kyro "Coming to think about it… I've never been outside the Promised Land before. I'm so excited about this entire journey! …Aren't you!?"
She raised her head and looked straight at Kyro. There was a strange expression in her golden eyes… a dreamy look of some sort. "Yes…" she answered, suddenly smiling and looking away "Yes, I am."
* * *
Aeris stared in awe at the majestic silvery-blue starship, shielding her eyes from the dazzling sun with the back of her hand.
(Awesome… I'd never have thought Cetran technology could be so advanced…)
Well, as a matter of fact, it was quite a small starship but it still impressed her. It was the only spacecraft she'd ever seen apart from the creepy, dilapidated, moss-overgrown rocket that belonged to the ShinRa. In her thoughts she couldn't help but compare those two vehicles… and the outcome of that comparison was rather obvious.
(Well, at least it looks reliable, right?)
Satisfied with what she had seen, Aeris lowered her head, briefly closing her eyes and rubbing them. Slightly blinded by the ubiquitous brightness, she started to walk in the starship's direction. She could hear a car approaching in the distance but she ignored the sound and kept moving. It was about six o'clock in the morning and the landing field seemed to be completely deserted, there were even no crewmembers or technicians in sight, let alone any occasional passers-by. Suddenly Aeris caught a glimpse of a movement out of a corner of an eye. She turned around to see two people, who were obviously immersed in a talk with each other, getting out of the car that had stopped about fifty meters away, at the edge of the airfield. One of the men was Valagar. And the other… Aeris gasped, momentarily coming to a halt. The other one was Sephiroth. He stood far away, in a shadow of a nearby building but she instantly recognized him, even in spite of the sunspots that danced before her eyes.
He was still terrifying to her, dressed entirely in black. She could swear his eyes were glowing a little… or was it just her imagination? She moved back a few steps and all at once remembered she had to breathe. She wanted to withdraw without being noticed, but she could only stand there and gaze, as if hypnotized. And then what she feared happened, for suddenly Sephiroth looked up…
* * *
…noticing her for the first time.
Gods!!! What is SHE doing here!?
It was like looking at a painting. Everything, even the colors seemed to be perfectly composed by some invisible artist; the yellow landing field and the silver-blue starship against a green background of some trees… not to mention the flawless blue sky above. And Aeris stood in the middle of that painting, staring straight at him. The gentle, morning wind was moving her loose, soft hair, which partially covered her firm, yet delicate face. She wore a light brown dress. The brilliant sun behind her back framed her silhouette with a golden glow, creating an amazing and beautiful visual effect, at the same time making the whole picture blurred to a human eye… but thanks to his catlike, vertical pupils Sephiroth could see everything clearly…
an angel
The impression lasted for only a few seconds, but to Sephiroth it seemed like an eternity. Strange emotions passed through his head at once. Looking at Aeris he felt a mixture of shock, shame, fear, grief, and… fascination.
He blinked. (What am I doing…?) Only now did he notice the expression on Aeris' face. She was frightened, curious perhaps, but frightened, nevertheless. Breaking the strange tension between them, she turned around and quickly disappeared inside the ship.
Shaking off his thoughts, Sephiroth turned to Valagar, narrowing his eyes.
"What is she doing here?" he hissed.
"She's going with us." Valagar answered calmly.
"What!?" Sephiroth lost his composure, raising his voice a little more than he intended to.
"You've heard me, Sephiroth. She's coming."
"…Why?" he forced himself not to shout.
"For the same reason as you. We may need her. She's agreed to help us."
Sephiroth almost scowled. "You can't just… Why haven't you told me…!?"
Valagar seemed untouched by the younger man's frustration; he remained in a flippant mood. "I know you had killed her. So what…? We both know it had happened under completely different circumstances. Do you hate her now?"
"No, it's just…"
"Then I see no problem here."
"Then you are short-sighted!"
Valagar shrugged. "I care about your opinion but no matter what you think, she's going with us. As well as you are. You'd better try to come to terms with it." there was no real threat or mockery in Valagar's words, the man was only stating a mere fact. He put a hand on Sephiroth's shoulder and the younger man didn't pull away, he only stared at Valagar with those angry green eyes. "Don't worry. I have a hunch that everything will turn out well."
"You bastard." Sephiroth clenched his hands into fists. He wanted to say something else but suddenly changed his mind, coming to a conclusion that he wouldn't win against Valagar's will anyway, neither would he made him change his decision.
So instead of throwing a furious or ironical comment, he simply turned away without a word and started to walk towards the starship. Valagar followed him in silence.
And so their journey began.
* * *
The travel to Sandalya was supposed to last about a week, at least when considered from the travelers' point of view. In fact, since the day they had set out, more than four years passed in the Promised Land or on any other stationary planet, Sandalya included.
The time on board went slowly for some and quite fast for the others. Everyone did their best to pretend everything was fine, that there was no real tension among them. Aeris and Sephiroth put a lot of effort into avoiding each other, which meant they hadn't practically met again apart from their brief encounter on the day when they took-off. Movitriss constantly sought Sephiroth's company, completely not bothered with his protests and assurances that he wanted to be left alone.
Three pilots took care of the course, their task was only to bring everybody safe to Sandalya; then they were supposed to leave. Kyro spent most of his time with them, chatting or playing cards, he was simply too young to find entertainment in Valagar's company (who rarely left his cabin, anyway). His clearly demonstrated hate for Sephiroth made him avoid Movitriss' company as well and Aeris disliked him for no apparent reason, which meant he was left on his own. In fact, Aeris had nothing against the blonde-haired warrior, she had simply chosen solitude… and, unlike Sephiroth, she managed to stay alone. That way almost an entire week passed and they were now no farther than fifty million miles from Sandalya…
* * *
Movitriss frowned, lifting a bishop from f4 and moving it to c7.
"Man…" she mumbled, biting her lower lip and trying to sound upset "…you're good. Give me a chance, OK?"
Sephiroth leaned his elbows on the table, thinking for a brief second. "Why? That wouldn't be a fair game, then." he said, taking her bishop with his tower in one smooth move. Movitriss sighed, smiling at the same time, when he was laying the bishop next to her hand.
"I've lost." she winced, blinking.
"Not yet." corners of Sephiroth's mouth lifted up a little. "Check."
"Gods!" Movitriss threw her head back, pretending to sound irritated but laughing instead. "You're incredible! And I thought I was clever!"
He rested his chin on one hand, narrowing his eyes mischievously. "You are. You're simply not paying enough attention."
"Whatever… Hey!" she exclaimed a moment later, still laughing, knowing that the game was already lost "What are you doing with that knight!?"
He almost smiled this time. "Checkmate."
Movitriss shook her head in amusement. "That was the quickest game I've ever played!" She lifted one of her fallen pawns. "…Want to play again? Perhaps a little slower this time…?"
Sephiroth nodded. "Why not?"
"Are you bored?"
He leaned back on his chair, watching her place the pawns on the board. "Not really. As a matter of fact, you're quite a skilled player…"
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. It's not that I could possibly win against you." she put the white king next to the bishop "I'll take the whites." she reached out for a pawn but suddenly hesitated "I think you should talk to her." she said quietly but not shyly, moving one of the pawns to g3.
Sephiroth tensed, since he instantly knew whom Movitriss was speaking about, although the name had never actually been mentioned before in any of their many talks… and that was just perfect with him.
Aeris. I'd rather face a poisonous monster than her, Sephiroth thought. His eyes remained expressionless but he was far from being calm. "It's not your business." his reply was short and annoyed.
"I think you should." Movitriss repeated, not lifting her gaze from the board.
Sephiroth shrugged his arms. "What for?"
"You can't go on like this. Besides, we're a team now. We won't accomplish anything, if you two keep avoiding each other."
"You want me to apologize to her?"
"If you wish…" Movitriss started to laugh. "Oh, you're so stubborn. You're never gonna admit you've made a mistake, right?"
He smiled, at the same time wondering why he was smiling "…Never."
* * *
Aeris lifted her head from a novel she was reading and sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. Being social as she was, she found it very hard to remain silent and isolated for an entire week. However, she simply couldn't risk encountering Sephiroth, so no matter how much it cost her, she kept staying in her room… even if it meant reading the same book for the third time.
She was beginning to feel quite tired, but she didn't want to lay down yet, trying to fall asleep… she disliked the stillness, the silence, plus the monotone humming of the ventilation system always drove her mad. Putting the book away, she decided that some coffee might help her stay awake for a little longer. Poking her head through the door she noticed the corridor was empty, so a minute later she was already in the kitchen, rummaging through the shelves in search of some coffee beans.
No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't drag her thoughts away from Sephiroth. She knew she couldn't stay angry or suspicious very long, for she generally tried to accept people and get along with them even if it appeared difficult at the beginning. However, at the same time, she felt a strange urge to argue with everybody, to show the entire world she was not pleased with the way her life had turned out.
he. had. killed. me.
She also thought about what Ifalna had told her, later that night. She had spoken of vengeance and forgiveness. And about the different circumstances that make people act differently. About second chances and stuff like that… At first Aeris had been only irritated but now… the longer she thought about everything, the less she seemed to be sure about her anger. Suddenly she remembered the way Sephiroth had looked at her a few days ago at the airport. She could swear there had been no hatred in his eyes…
The bitter aroma of coffee filled the whole room. Lost in her thoughts, Aeris didn't heard the man entering the kitchen…
* * *
"Could you make me a cup of coffee as well, please?" Valagar said, while automatic door were closing behind him.
Aeris almost jumped at the sound of his voice. Seeing it was Valagar, she visibly relaxed. "…Of course." she answered, hesitantly starting to prepare another cup.
Valagar came up to a table and sat at one of the chairs. "I'm concerned about you." he said all of a sudden.
"Don't be." Aeris answered quickly, pouring coffee beans into a porcelain cup. "I'm fine."
"You're angry with us, aren't you?" Valagar said and it didn't sound much as a question.
She shook her head. "…No. Not anymore. I've learned to accept my life… even though I'm not very happy with it."
"You are very clever and very brave indeed, my child."
Aeris blushed, finally turning around to see Valagar's expression. The man's face remained emotionless but his eyes were sincere, suggesting he really meant what he had said. Aeris hesitated "Thank you…" she said simply and almost instantly tried to add: "But-"
"Shhh…" he stopped her, putting a finger on his own lips "No 'buts', Aeris, no 'buts'."
She laid a steaming, hot cup of coffee in front of him. He took a careful sip, then rested his elbows on the table, leaning his chin on clasped arms. "Why are you keeping away from us?" he asked "Do you find our company so terrible?"
"No, of course not." she argued "It's just that…" her voice trailed off, for she honestly didn't believe Valagar would understand.
"Don't be afraid of him, child." the old man spoke, looking up and meeting her gaze. "He's got a complicated character that is sometimes very hard to understand… but he's not entirely evil."
Aeris large, green eyes were amazed but still suspicious. "How would you know?"
"I know." he stated with such an unquestionable authority and such an implicit faith that Aeris felt like arguing would be something improper.
"Intuition?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"Something much more reliable than that."
"The Lifestream cannot read a person's thoughts…" she opposed carefully.
"Yes, but it can show personal memories, allowing you to draw some conclusions… I'm quite a good psychologist, you know…"
Aeris fell silent. "So you believe he's… normal now…?" she decided to ask.
"And what do you believe is 'normal', then?" he threw her an amused glance.
Aeris looked at him carefully, as if trying to read his intentions. "I mean…" she paused, selecting her words. "I mean respecting ethics… following the commonly established norms of human behavior…"
Valagar smiled at her, but at the same time she had an impression that he was hiding something. "If that's the way you put it…" he paused to take a sip from his cup "Well, I'm leaving it for you to decide. It's childish to run away from your problems."
"Maybe…" Aeris' eyes held a distant look for a second. Then she shook her head. "I think I'm going to return to my room, anyway." she almost expected Valagar to frown and say something disappointed, like: 'so haven't you learn anything…?' but he only smiled, as if he knew better. Aeris walked out of the kitchen, entering the broad, brightly illuminated corridor. And she froze.
* * *
So did Sephiroth, who came to a halt only a few meters away. They were both too close to pretend they hadn't seen each other.
Aeris couldn't help but stare at the man. She was surprised to see how different he was from what she remembered. Last time they met, back on the Planet, she could have only noticed the madness in his green eyes and the narrow, silver blade of his terrifying sword. Today she felt like seeing him for the first time in her life.
He was tall, very lean and dressed entirely in black; black were his trousers, boots, gloves, shirt and a velvet band around his neck; a single obsidian glittered there. His silver, almost white hair was tied into a long braid, reaching well past his hips. The plait was decorated with a dark, velvet ribbon; the ribbon's ends were almost touching the ground. The man had the most incredible eyes she'd ever seen. Their color was ambiguous, impossible to determine; they were a mixture of sky-blue and intense green. To some extent, they looked like cat's eyes. They shone with a strange glow, giving Sephiroth's slender and frightfully pale face an eerie look.
Beautiful or not, he still frightened her, so she turned her head away, not wanting to look at him like that. She knew she had to remain composed around him.
"I'm… sorry." Sephiroth said, breaking the awkward silence. "I didn't want to disturb you." he turned away to leave.
Aeris was surprised to hear that his voice could be so calm. She was also more than shocked to see him acting like that: tranquil and polite; even if his politeness and tranquility were somewhat forced. And he was also quite… careful. As if he actually cared about what happened between them. She hesitated. (I guess Valagar was right. It's so childish to run away…)
"Wait…" she said bravely and instantly regretted her words. (Now what…?)
He stopped abruptly, not bothering to turn around. "Yes…?" he finally managed to say, masking his fear and embarrassment with irritation.
She managed to control her trembling hands, finally overcoming her fear. "It's not the way it was all supposed to be… right?" she almost blushed, realizing too late that it was a stupid, trivial thing to say.
Her words made him feel more than uneasy. (Why do I have to deal with her…? Looking in the eyes of one of my many victims… I guess it's a simple consequence of my past actions and choices… but then again, were they all really mine…?)
He slowly turned around and looked straight at her with those incredible eyes. Then he rested one hand on his hip, shaking his head. "It's not the way I've imagined my afterlife, either…"
She smiled bitterly, surprised where was this sudden courage coming from. "It's not an afterlife. It's really happening."
He laughed but his laugh was devoid of any true joy. "Fate is a strange thing, Aeris."
(What am I saying…?) He paused. (I don't believe in fate any more…)
"Was it fate that told you to kill me?" she spoke too fast, before she could even think, and she instantly lowered her eyes, blushing and biting her tongue. (Gods! I'm forgetting I'm talking with him!)
He frowned almost imperceptibly. (Why do I care about her opinion that much…? Why do I have an impression she is the one who should actually judge me…?). At the same time he wanted to laugh bitterly. (Straight to the point, Aeris, aren't you?)
"Look, Aeris." he said quietly "I'm going to kill you now, if that's your concern."
"Why should I trust you?"
"And why should I kill you?"
"…I don't know… Because you hate me?"
"Why should I hate you, then…?"
Aeris fell silent. Try as she might, she couldn't find an honest answer to that. There was a long silence between them. However, Aeris couldn't stop herself from asking that one basic, inevitable question…
"Why have you done it…?" both of them knew she meant not only her own death but also all the other things that had happened.
You'll never be able to understand, he thought, suddenly looking away. 'I don't know', he wanted to say, but he knew that it would be a lie. Of course he had his reasons back then and he knew well that he was far from being insane or simply manipulated by Jenova. He still considered some of those reasons right, the only difference was he had realized that vengeance led do nothing.
Almost against himself, he decided to be honest. "Because I believed it was right."
I can't imagine it, Aeris thought. (How can anybody be convinced that killing innocent people or destroying a planet is right…?)
"What does it change?" he shrugged, not believing in any single world he spoke. "It's in the past."
Her eyes widened a little. "Don't you care…?"
of course I do
"Don't expect me to answer that." Sephiroth didn't avert his eyes.
Aeris shook her head rapidly. "I'm so much confused…" she admitted.
(I honestly don't know what to think about him… He's different… yet still so… inhuman… The way he acts, damn, he's so cold, as if he had no emotions at all…)
it's not true
(Maybe it's just a mask, then. I don't know him, right? Ifalna told me to forgive him…)
She looked straight at him, deciding to follow her instincts and depend on her innate gift of empathy to tell her the truth about this strange man.
At the same time Sephiroth was looking at her. Of course he remembered her from that day, 18 years ago; an innocent, little girl, not even realizing what was happening around her. He also remembered her from just a few weeks ago; a delicate, fragile woman that hadn't even screamed when his sword plunged into her back with an incredible force. That memory, however, was actually only a blur, like everything from the time he was serving Jenova. …And now she stood almost right before his eyes, not very different from the last time he had seen her; slender, graceful, beautiful. Innocent.
She's been through hell just like me and yet she has stayed innocent. Oh, how I envy her…
She resembled Ifalna so much…
bending over him, laying a warm hand on his shoulder. Her face hanging a few centimeters from his own. Her voice, soft and gentle: take care of yourself, Sephiroth… will you? Her eyes, large and green, shining with a mixture of terror and regret
Aeris took a deep breath, since Sephiroth's eyes were… sad? He's really a human, she suddenly realized and the thought struck her. (He's not an emotionless monster?)
And what if he's just an actor?
(…An actor…? …No…)
She decided to trust her heart. "I'm… just surprised to see… you're a… that you're… I mean…" she stopped, suddenly very embarrassed. (What am I trying to say!? It's such a nonsense…! -Sephiroth, I'm surprised to see you're a human…- …?) That would be a very stupid and rude thing to say, she realized.
"Our conversation makes you uneasy, right?" he asked, slightly tilting his head to the side with one hand still resting on his hip. A small smile was playing upon his lips, a smile that had nothing to do with mirth "…Well, the feeling's mutual, believe me." he admitted, once more deciding to be honest, since he figured out that would be better. "The fact that we're a team now does not make things easier, now does it?" he asked and she nodded in response. Quite unexpectedly, Sephiroth looked away for the first time, which actually surprised even him. "Fine. Hate me then, if you wish."
Her eyes widened a little, since she had actually managed to catch his expression before he turned away his gaze. Slowly, carefully she shook her head, then smiled; it was a small, uncertain smile. "Stop it." she spoke. "There, you've already said it. It's in the past. I… I want you to know I'm no longer mad at you… And that… of course I can speak for myself only but… and we'll most probably never forget but… I… forgive you. So don't worry about the past, it's alright with me." speaking those words instantly made her feel better, as if a giant burden had been taken off her shoulders. Anyway, not wanting the situation to become even more tense and awkward, she momentarily turned away and started to walk straight ahead, without a single look back.
Sephiroth watched her leave and disappear around the corner. Then he leaned himself against a wall, raising a slightly trembling hand to his forehead. Saying he was confused was not enough. Yet still, at the same time, he didn't feel very happy or enthusiastic… quite the opposite, actually.
"I'm not looking for forgiveness…" he whispered.
I'm looking for acceptance.
End of Chapter 4
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Author's Notes: Ooow! Sweet, stupid, unrealistic… everything I've tried to avoid! Anyway, I can see some progress here: they didn't burst out into tears just a few seconds after they'd met. However, I have to admit I did expect their relationship to progress even more slowly (which means I don't really like the stupid "forgive you" part)… it's just that this fic is not a 300-page novel, right? I don't want to spend my entire life writing it, so I have to start coming to the point. To understand each other, Sephiroth and Aeris have to talk to each other, which means I can't keep them silent or angered forever. If they were both supposed to stay in character, they'd probably never say things like that…
By the way… Why, why, whyyy do you hate Movitriss so much…!? Have you ever fallen in love only to realize you're going to loose your lover very soon…? (ehm… no? …oh, in case you're wondering, her character is NOT based on my personal experience…) Do you imagine how the poor woman may feel!? Movitriss is such a tragic (sob) character (sob…). Some compassion for her, people, please…!
Anyway, regardless of what may happen in the future, Movitriss and Sephiroth are right now spending dangerously much time together… and it's not indifferent to both of them! (Don't be mad at me, KrystalClear! Some things just have to be done… only to make the story better at the end! Don't flame me, Aeris/Seph lovers, 'cause I love you all! I'm a Seph/Aeris person myself, almost blindly devoted to this couple… draw you conclusions!)
So… anybody wanna see what happens next?