Never opened myself this way 4

The reaction from the other elf was startling: for a fleeting moment his face showed love and unimaginable pain before it closed completely of.

"Why do you react this strongly to the name of Mirkwoods queen?"

he questioned his young guest, not really expecting him to answer this question. Therefor he was astounded as the younger elf answered after a moment of silence:

"Her death was needless and has caused to much pain. Of all members of her family she was the last who deserved to die..."

with wonder the Lord of Imladris watched as unchecked tears streamed down the face of his sons guest. Why was he so affected by the mere mentioning of the late queens name, who could she have been to him that his face showed so much love when he heard her name? He was to young to could have known her but his actions spoke differently.

A gust of wind opened the curtains that were hanging before the wide windows and a few leaves were blown in. Was it the vision the young elf had retold him or was it the elf himself who let him loose control over Vilya that much that the wind was blowing into the room - or did his subconscious direct the ring of air in attempt to tell him something as had happened before.

Fascinated he watched as the leaves were carried much wider into the room as they should have, confirming his guess that he was unconsciously guiding the wind. One of the still green leaves landed on the pillow next to the elves head while the other leaves landed on his abdomen. What was it that his heart knew but his mind had yet to realise?

As if in defeat the exhausted younger elf closed his eyes and creased his brow for a moment before he relaxed again and opened his incredible green eyes, green as the leaves that the wind had just carried inside.

Carnil, he mused, was only the third elf he knew that had eyes of such a green, a green that darkened depending on his emotions: Silruinel and her mother, Lord Celeborns younger sister Nurgonwen who had left Middle Earth even before the beginning of the third age and the death of her only child. He had heard from Thranduils and Silruinels sons that their brother Legolas who was still born had had the same eyes as their mother and grandmother.

Suddenly he knew what his subconscious tried to tell him as it directed Vilya to blow the leaves to the young elf: the leaves told him who the elf before him really was - the youngest prince of Mirkwood.

But how could that be? Prince Legolas was said to have died during his birth, proceeding his mother to the halls of Mandos. It was his instinct that told lord Elrond that he was right, that the elf lying before him was indeed the prince that was believed dead for nearly three millennia. It had been Thranduil himself who had declared the death of his son and had ordered that he was buried together with his mother. The only other witness of the birth of the prince had shortly afterwards sailed West. When he had been resting in Imladris the only words he had spoken were to Elrond himself, declaring brokenly that the Lord would have been able to prevent the death of the prince.

All those yeas ago he had thought that the other healer had meant that he could have saved the new-born with his ability as a healer but now that he was almost sure that Carnil was really Legolas he wondered if the healer hadn't meant something else, something much more horrible.

Had Legolas after all been alive when he was born? Had he died because of a mistake the healer had made while delivering him, came the scars on his neck from this mistake?

The healer had said nothing more than that one sentence, he never answered Elronds question why he could have saved the infant while the other could not.

But even if the death of the prince was the fault of the healer, than why was he here, why was he alive? The Valar had send others back, his friend Glorfindel was prove for that, but Glorfindel had died a violent death, caused by great evil... A mistake, no matter how fatal it was, from a healer did not count as evil and was no reason for the Valar to send the dead back except they had a destiny to fulfil. There had to be an other explanation for the elf's existence - and for his scars but what?

"Who gave you the scars and spread the lies of your dead...Legolas?"

The other elf showed no surprise at being addressed by that name, only resignation. With a deep sigh he answered is host, turning his head slightly as if to see the other elf better but closed is eyes before he answered:

"When I met your sons I knew that I would be discovered, that I could no longer live in peace. Your face showed recognition the moment I entered your realm...

I should have never come here!"

Before he continued he opened his eyes, looking directly into the grey eyes of the older elf.

"Please tell no one who I am, who I was.

I will leave Imladris in the morning or even now if you wish but please tell no one what you know!"

Elrond was puzzled by the pleading of the other elf, what did he have to hide? Why did he not want to be recognised as the one he was? What could he have done that was so horrible that he had to hide who he was - or was it something others had done to him or would do to him once they found out that he was indeed still alive and had not died all those years ago?

"Why do you not want to be known for who you are, Legolas? Your supposed death was horrible for your father and your brothers, even more so as they lost the same day not only their son and brother but also their wife and mother. They would be overjoyed to see you alive and even though they would wonder where you have been for all this years they would welcome you back with open arms.

Your father nearly lost his sanity and his life when both you and your mother had died within the same hour. If not for yourself then return at least to ease your fathers pain, send him a message that you are still alive!"

A dry hollow laugh escaped the young prince, his green eyes had turned dark, darker than Elrond had thought possible and as hard as Mithril

"It is because of him that I am not at home in the Realm of Oropher. You say he nearly lost his sanity and life because of my mothers and my death? I doubt that he shed a single tear over my passing - my mothers, yes, but not my own!

No, I will not enter that cursed realm, cursed by his own king!"

Stopping for a moment in exhaustion he continued after a moment in which he had brushed the leaves that had fallen on him off:

"Lord Elrond, I am one of the Aratarhin, I remember everything that happened before my death, everything that happened since the moment I was conceived... the only span of time I am not able to recall are the moments from my death till my return to life, the burying of my dead body or how my body came to be in the Celduin after it had been buried in Mirkwood. I can recall how my spirit re-entered my body, how I was found and raised by an edain and his wife, their death and my travels first to Rhûn and later to Gondor and Harad...

Don't you think that I know the reason for my death, the reason why I never went to Mirkwood, to ease the pain you tell me my family feels?"

He stopped again and picked up one of the leaves he had discarded moments ago and twirled it between his slender graceful fingers:

"It was my mother who choose to call me Legolas, she used to talk to me whenever she was alone, telling me stories of Middle Earth, of its creation...

I still remember how her voice sounded when she sang to me, when she told me how beautiful the three Realms of the Eldar were or the cities of men and even the dwarfs.

Before you only my grandfather Oropher and one other person have ever called me by the name my mother choose for me... my foster parents named me after my red hair Carnil. It was again my mother, my foster mother this time who choose my name. She told me that the night my foster father found me Carnil had shone brighter than they had ever seen him before or after they found me.

Isn't it strange that I felt never really happy while I was living with them? Sure, I loved them but I always knew that they were not my real parents, I always remembered the reason why I was living with them and not with my blood family, I was never able to forget how it came that I could never be among my own people..."

Turning once again to Elrond he smiled thoughtfully:

"Since my death this is only the second time that I am in the company of our race, the first time was when we marched against Sauron and fought at the slopes of the Orodruin. I always sought the company of the edain, among them I could be sure to be forgotten after a few generations and be able to choose a new identity leaving everything I did not want to be remembered behind me..."

Lost in memories Legolas trailed of and left Elrond to his own thoughts. The Elven Lord was watching the young prince, wondering over and over what had been done to the prince to fear his own people.

Even though Silruinel had been the aunt of his wife he had met her only a handful of times but he still could recall her face, her figure, as if she stood before him and noticed with a sad smile that the only difference between Legolas and his mother were their gender. Not even his own twin-sons who were said to look like him did resemble him as much as the woodland prince did resemble his mother.

Both his face and body had the same structure as hers, he was only missing her feminine curves but his face had even the softness her features had had. His hair was of the same deep red colour hers had been and even equalled hers in length and had the same straightness his mothers had once had. Like his mothers before, his eyes were of the green of Arda, changing with his mood, sometimes light like new grass and sometimes as dark as the needles of a pine-tree on a star-less night, framed by lashes of the colour of his hair. From afar mother and son could have been mistaken for the same person if Silruinel had still been alive.

Had it been fate that had led his own sons into that tavern in Minas Tirith where they met the lost prince of Mirkwood? Long ago he had wanted to start a search for Carnil the assassin, after he had heard from a witness that the assassin moved with a grace only the first born possessed but before he had managed to make time for such a search the name Carnil had vanished from the records of men and only faint legends told of him, the assassin that worked for the Steward of Gondor.

"Legolas"

brought the Lord of Imladris his guest out of his thoughts,

"I will keep your secret but it would be better if you told Celebrian yourself as she will recognise you if she hasn't already... She loved her aunt dearly and you look to much like your mother as that she could not recognise you as her cousin."

A frown had settled on Legolas face as he listened to Elrond:

"Her aunt? I didn't know that Lady Celebrian was my cousin... I don't remember her from before my death... You say that my mother was her aunt?"

The frown had not left the prince face though his eyes shoved a spark of hope.

"Yes, Lord Celeborn, my wife's father, was your mothers older brother... they had been very close before and even after she had married your father. Your oldest brother, Laurenor has his eyes though he has like Galatorn the golden hair of your father and grandfather.

He was devastated by the news of his sisters and youngest nephews death and was close to sail West though shortly before he wanted to sail he changed his mind and lost some of his grief, he never mentioned why, not even to Galadriel.

Legolas, Imladris will be your home as long as you wish, you are a member of my family and even though I do not know why you will not enter Mirkwood I will not ask you for your reasons, when you want to talk about it I will be here to listen.

My sons and Arwen will not be told who you are as will no one else besides Celebrian except you decide to tell someone yourself. My dear friend Glorfindel might sense what you are but he will not question you as he knows how painful it is to remembers ones own death...

For everyone else you will be a friend o my sons and a welcome guest of my house who once saved my life!"

Elrond finished with a smile and was relieved as the younger elf returned it.

"I didn't know that Lord Glorfindel was the other Aratarhen, Namos only mentioned that just as the Valar had decided to sent someone back to Arda the second followed not even a century later...

My mother often sang of Gondolin and Lord Glorfindel, I believe that I still know his lament...

I felt someone when I entered your realm though I could not place that feeling and shrugged it of as feeling just the presence of other first born as I had also felt it when I met the army of Gil-Galad."

It was clear for Elrond that the other elf was exhausted and only out of politeness still awake; just as he wanted to allow the other elf to rest a soft knock sounded on the door and after a moment Celebrian entered.

"Our sons and Arwen are afraid that something happened to their friend - but I can see that you have survived your vision without harm!"

With a soft smile that reminded Legolas so much of his mother that he had to close his eyes Celebrian wandered over to stand behind her husband and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"By your faces I can see that you have talked of our young guest heritage, I am glad to finally meet the youngest child of my aunt Silruinel!"

With the hand that she had not placed on her husbands shoulder she caressed Legolas brow but drew it with a frown back after a moment.

"Something is weighting down your heart, cousin ...and also yours Elrond..."

She looked between the two male elves back and fourth; it was Legolas who answered her unasked question hesitantly:

"In my vision I saw your death if you leave the safety of Imladris, there would be no way to safe you if you left: on your way back you and your escort would be ambushed by a large band of Orcs. Everyone with you would be slaughtered and you would be taken captive...

Even if you were freed you would not be able to remain in Arda and would sail..."

While he spoke his voice had become almost a whisper and if it weren't for their elvish hearing neither Elrond nor Celebrian would have heard him.

Wordlessly Celebrian starred at the still unlit candle beside the bed till she softly spoke, her voice sounding faint and lost, a mere shadow of its lifelines from moments before:

"Then I will remain in Imladris, though I know in my heart that I will not be able to remain forever confined to one place, no matter how much I love it. When I will finally leave this valley I will travel alone, I will not bring death to others especially if their death would not change my fate.

For now I will remain here with my family!"

She leaned forward and placed a kiss on her husbands brow, caressing his hair, to the surprise of Legolas she then leaned down to him and also kissed his brow and trailed with her finger the lines of his face.

"You have so much of your mother in you... and yet you carry a pain she never knew; what happened to you son of Silruinel?"

seeing his tiredness she continued:

"Sleep now, and in the morning you will have to tell me of your life, of Gondor.!"