CHAPTER 4

I was up the next morning before the alarm went off. I don't think I slept for longer than an hour at a time. I'd wake up, think about Kelly, think about Matt, think about Em and doze off again. I should be in really good shape for this morning's Department Head meeting. Thank God Conway took the day off or else my ass would be in a sling. I got up and softly padded downstairs, trying not to wake up Em. It was only 5:30 and she left explicit instructions not to wake her until 6:30. I put on a pot of coffee then went back upstairs to shower and get ready for work. I slowly opened the door to the spare bedroom and peeked in on Em who was snoring softly. She was going to have one banging headache when she woke up.

I showered and dressed, then pulled out an outfit for Em to wear. She wasn't the girlie type of girl like I was; she was more of a tomboy and I wasn't sure I would find clothes that she would agree to wear. I looked at my workout gear hanging there forlornly. I hadn't done any running in the last two months. In fact, I hadn't done any exercising at all since meeting Kelly unless I counted the athletic sex we had. That was definitely a work out that burned calories. I picked out a pair of grey pants, a plain white t-shirt and a black belted sweater for Emily. This should be androgynous enough for her liking. I grabbed some ibuprofen from the bathroom and opened the door to the spare bedroom. I tiptoed up to the side of the bed and gently touched her shoulder.

"Time to get up, chick. Coffee's on and I have your meds, as ordered," I said. Em rolled over and let out a groan. She looked so tired and worn out. She had looked this way for several weeks now and I wondered if it had to do anything with Michael. They had an on again, off again relationship that drove her crazy. She loved him and she hated him at the same time. He could be charming, but he could also be jealous, unreasonable prick. I didn't like Michael. I thought Em could do so much better, but who was I to judge her or her choices. I chose Stephen Gage and that turned out to be a crushing mistake.

"Would you mind if I didn't go into work, Mads? I feel like shit," said Em as she shielded her eyes from the light.

"Seeing as Conway won't be there and I am technically the big boss today, I guess you could call out. Besides, I owe you for covering for me yesterday so I could leave early," I said.

"Thanks, Madster...I loves you," said Em as she rolled back over.

"Yeah, yeah...I loves you too. By the way, you're parked behind me in the driveway, so I'll have to take your car to work. I'll call you later," I said. I could hear her mumble something inaudible as I closed the door. She worried me sometimes, but I knew she would eventually figure it out. She usually did.

I poured myself a cup of coffee and took one of the muffins from last night for breakfast. I sat at my dining room table and leafed through the morning paper. It distressed me how crime-ridden Chicago had become in all the years I had been away. Life was so much simpler at the age of eighteen...for so many reasons.

I let my mind wander back to last night's dinner...and Matthew. Without warning, I began to cry. Not just a few tears, but full blown sobs. I couldn't stop. What the hell was wrong with me? Maybe I was going crazy, just like Stephen had claimed once. He told his divorce lawyer that that was the reason he'd had numerous affairs throughout our marriage. I countered that by telling my divorce lawyer that if I was crazy, he was the one that made me that way with his constant philandering. He was a lying, cheating, underhanded, low life bastard and I secretly hoped that one of his cheap little sluts would give him the clap. It had been two years since our divorce had been made final and I was still angry and it wasn't because I still had feelings for him; it was because I wasted five years of my life being married to a man I never really loved. I married him to appease everyone who kept telling me I should get married.

My college roommate, Robin Dupree, had said "You're twenty-five now, Madeleine...it's time you got married." She was married shortly after graduation, had four kids by the time she was thirty and her idea of a night out was piling the family into the mini-van for dinner at The Red Lobster, followed by a rousing round of miniature golf. Last I knew, she about ready to pop out kid #5 and weighed close to 200 lbs. The entire time Stephen and I had been married, I lived in fear of turning into her.

Stephen had been charming at first. He was handsome, successful and said all the right lines. In all fairness to him, I could never fully give myself to him emotionally for several reasons; mainly because I was pining for the man I really loved and had lost. I'm sure that wasn't easy for Stephen, but it still was not a viable excuse to screw around on your wife. He did love me at one time...which is more than I can say for myself. Seeing Matthew again after so many years made me realize just how much precious time I had wasted and I was overcome with incredible grief at the death of my dreams.

I decided that was why I was crying.

I was snapped back to reality by the dining room clock chiming seven bells. I grabbed my handbag, Em's car keys and my coat and headed out the door. I drove to work, fighting with the stick shift of Em's Honda Accord all the way. I wish I had taken the time to back her car out of the driveway so I could have driven my CTS. It was a sharp looking car and drove like a dream. What made it an even sweeter ride was that I bought it with the settlement money from my divorce. Every time I drove it, I imagined driving over Stephen's nuts and it gave me more pleasure than I could ever explain and still sound sane.

I checked my phone messages and emails before preparing myself for the Department Head meeting. I had an hour before I was due in the auditorium, so I unlocked Conway's office to grab her notes and agenda. She had a spectacular office...spacious corner suite with a half bath...a large mahogany desk...ceiling to floor windows...an overstuffed chair with ottoman and a stereo system. For a brief minute, I wondered what hospital executive she was banging to get such a space, but not even the dolts in Administration would lower themselves to sleep with Jabba the Hut, as Em called her. I grabbed the necessary papers and studied them for a while and made some major changes to it before heading back downstairs to the auditorium. Carole Conway was incompetent and if I had read the report as it was, I'm sure it would have been a reflection on me instead of her. I was one of the first to give report and for nearly two hours more, I sat there listening to each Department Head present their respective reports. It was so obvious that some of these people had no lives outside their jobs. No wonder Conway made it this far up the ladder.

As I walked out of the auditorium, Walter Addison, the Administrator of Chicago Lakeshore touched my shoulder to stop me.

"Impressive job, Ms. Coventry. Those were obviously not Carole Conway's words, were they?" he asked quietly.

"Well, sir...it was her basic report. I just tweaked it a little," I said.

"Don't be so modest, Ms. Coventry...may I call you Madeleine?" he asked. He was a pleasant enough man, slightly balding with grey at the temples and dark brown eyes.

"Yes, please..." I said, not knowing where this conversation was going.

"We in Administration are well aware of your work, Madeleine...and we are duly impressed." he said with a smile.

"Thank you, Mr. Addison. That's a lovely thing to say," I answered.

He gently shook my hand and excused himself to another meeting. Of all days for Em to call off. She would shit herself if she knew about this. I had to call her the minute I got back upstairs. I pulled my cell phone out of my handbag. No missed calls or texts. I was certain that Kelly would have called by now. He must be really pissed at me. I dialed Em's cell but there was no answer. I hoped she was alright. I left a message for her to call me as soon as she got my message. I gathered my notes from the meeting and headed back to Conway's office to type up the summary. I walked inside and was surprised by who was waiting for me.

"Hey, baby," he said. He was sitting behind Carole's desk.

"Kelly...what are you doing here?" I asked. For some reason I couldn't explain, I felt anxious about him being here. He never visited me at work.

"I brought you these," he said as he handed me a bouquet of daisies and tea roses. This was a side to him I had never seen before. My anxiety level continued to rise. Before I could say anything, he picked me up, making me grab him around the neck and wrap my legs around his body. He kissed me furiously as he slowly turned around and walked back towards the desk. He sat me down gently on the cool mahogany and leaned into me hard, forcing me to drop the flowers and put my forearms down on the desk to brace myself. He slowly and expertly began to unbutton my blouse.

"Kelly...this is my boss's office...we can't," I whispered, my voice shaking slightly.

"Yes we can...and we will," he said, his voice thick with passion.

He walked over to the door, locked it and came back at me hard, like a bull in heat. He pulled his t-shirt over his head, then kissed me hard again as he removed my blouse and my bra. His head moved down to my breasts, his mouth searching every inch of my skin. It was cool in the room but my body felt like it was on fire as he continued to explore my breasts with his tongue. He moved down to my belly button and raised his head to look at me. He had a sexy, mischievous look on his face that sent an electric shock throughout my entire body. He reached his hands up my skirt and slowly pulled my panties off, looking at me the entire time. I was powerless once again. He unzipped his black jeans and pushed them down below his hips, exposing his erection. He lifted my legs around his lower back and plunged deep into me. I let out a gasp as he entered me and began to thrust. I laid back across the desk and Kelly placed soft kisses on my neck as his body moved over mine. I couldn't hold on any longer as I felt my orgasm engulf me, shaking me hard as things began to fly off the desk and onto the floor. He let out a groan as he exploded inside me. I could barely breathe as he collapsed on top of me, covering my mouth with his.

We laid there for what seemed like an eternity before either of us was able to move. We slowly gathered ourselves enough to dress. I picked up the flowers and we walked to the door together. Before opening the door, Kelly turned to me and kissed me again. He cupped my face in his hands and stroked my cheeks with his thumbs.

"You mean a lot to me, Mads...you're good for me," he said as he placed his forehead on mine. I couldn't say it back to him. I wanted to but I couldn't. I kissed him softly instead.

"You think anyone heard us?" I asked.

"I certainly hope so. I'll call you later, OK?" he said with a wicked smile on his face. I nodded softly as he opened the door and walked out. I watched all the women in their cubicles look at him as he strutted past towards the elevators. "Eat your hearts out, ladies...he's mine," I smugly thought as he disappeared into the elevator. I walked back to my desk, oblivious to the stares I was getting on the way. I pulled my cell phone out to see if Em had called. I really needed to talk to her now.

2 MISSED CALLS, 2 VOICE MAIL MESSAGES, it read. I checked the call log...one from Em and one unknown number. I listened to the voicemail messages.

"Hi Mads...it's me, Em...it's 11:30 and I just got your message. I was pretty pissed last night, but I took a nice bath in your garden tub, made myself some breakfast...with orange juice and everything...and I'm feeling much better now. Decided come into work for the second half of the day, so I'll see you around 12:30. I'm excited because I get to drive the Caddy! Byeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

I looked at the wall clock...12:15 PM. Knowing her, she'd get here and expect to take a lunch break with me. I deleted her message and listened to the next one.

"Hey Maddy...it's Matt...Matt Casey. I wanted to ask you if you'd like to get together Friday night at my place. We could have dinner and finally catch up. Seeing you last night made me start thinking about things and I'd really like to talk. Give me a call when you can and let me know. Talk to you soon, I hope. Bye."

Maybe I was overthinking things, but he sounded nervous to me. That wasn't the Matt I remembered. He was always very sure about everything he did and rarely second guessed himself. Maybe time and circumstances had changed that. I felt my heart race at the thought of seeing him again. It had been so long. I just hoped my head was in the right place now and could handle all of this. After all, I had just had hot illicit sex with my boyfriend on my boss's desk and now I was as giddy as a teenager at the thought of seeing my high school sweetheart again. How much more obvious could it have been that my head clearly could not handle this.

"Jesus, Em...hurry up!" I said to myself. If I ever needed a best friend, it was now. I watched the elevator doors closely and waited. I had a feeling that neither of us would get much work done today.