Cersei jumped off from the window. As she was catapulted in the air, iridescent fireworks exploded in the air and the peasants in flea bottom yelled 'HOORAY!' But unfortunately cersei was only on the first floor so she landed in the grass and at one sat up and middle fingered the presents with both hands. MAN that chick is hardcore. And she also yelled some F words. And she also told them to kiss her ass. Yeah. And she also pulled her dress up and pointed her old woman saggy butt at them. And she also peed in the bushes because that chick is hardcore.

so she broke a couple of leg bones but she was back in front of the computer screen again even tho the doctor told her not to use it. I mean the maester told her not to use it. Yeah.

logging in to hot date (obviously she logged out before jumping so that nasty pycelle couldn't spy on her messages) she realised that she forgot her password.

She tried "iluvrhaeger" but it didn't work. Hmmm. Next "cerseijaime123" not that either. Aha! "margaerycansuckmydick" It worked! Hallelujah! Ftw cersei thought, middle fingering the air.

oooooooh! Two new matches! Omg! She clicked on the first one, full of anticipation

Name: THEON GREYJOY

Description: The name's Greyjoy. Theon Greyjoy. Pisces. Billionaire philanthropist. 007. Ladies man. Rated X. DM me for some fun.

Cersei pursed her lips and clawed at the curtains. She went on message

Cersei: hi, dickless :)

Theon: hey babe, looking for some fun? ;)

Cersei: maybe if you go ask melisandre to help you grow another dick then sure =)))

Theon: YOUR MOM SUCKS COCK IN HELL

Cersei shrugged. She probably does, she thought, I would.

Ok next match, this site was hopeless. Ooh the next match was freaking hot. He had a big hit beard, strong jaw, he was well built tall. He was wearing Armani shades and standing under a palm tree holding a cocktail, his fabulous hair flying in the wind.

Name: HODOR HODOR

Description: Hodor hodor! P hodor hodor hodor! U hodor hodor! Hodor! S hodor hodor hodor! S hoddodor! Hododr Y hodor. 3

Cersei read the descriptio and placed her hand on her heart and sobbed passionately. What a wonderful gentleman! She instantly clicked on message

Cersei: OMG look at that face, you look like my next mistake! Loves a game wanna plaaaaayyy? ;)

Hodor: hodor! Y hodor hodor! E hodor hodor hodor! S hodooorrr! ;)

Cersei: Magic, madness, heaven, sin, I could show you incredible things!

Hodor: L hodor! I hodor hodor! K hooodor! E hhhodor hodor! P hodor hodor! U hodorhodorhodr! S hoooodoooorrr! S hodor hodor! Y hodddor! ❤️❤️❤️

Cersei: I'll leave you breathless, or with a nasty scar!

Hodor: H hodor hodor I hodor C hooodor hodor K hhhodor hodor E hodddor Y hodorhodorhodr S hodr hoooodoor F hodor R hodorhodor O hhhhh M hhhhoooodddor P hodorhodorhodr A hodor hodor hodor S hodrhodrrrr S hoooodddrrrr I hooodor hooodrrr O hodor N hodr A hodr T hodorhodor E hhhhoooodddor L hodor U hhhodor V hodorhodor ? ;)

Cersei: Hodor, no one understands me like you do, I am already in love with you! Thou art my Romeo I am thart thot, thart forevrrrr!

Cersei immediately arranged a date with hodor! Why it was fate! She danced through the castle and then her iPhone 7 s plus rang! Who could it be?! She checked the caller ID. It was father, Lord Tywin, calling from... Meereen!