Authors' Note: Crack Interlude xDD Enjoy the R & J crack! 8DDD
Juliet's day had been going in the most splendidly horrific way possible. And it wasn't even the effect of being marooned on a desert island because her dolphin guide had been too retarded to find her any larger landmass.
First, the coconut trees attacked her - or more specifically, it's guardians the paranoid pelicans did (since when did pelicans eat coconuts anyway?) - then the only place that might reasonably hold food turned out to be a cellar leading to an alternate dimension where all the living creatures were unintelligent brain-eating zombies and insane gunslinging handsome teenage boys (don't ask). Next a ship had landed but then refused to take her because it was too small (admittedly, it was indeed too small - only the size of her freaking palm). She was starting to think the island was some phantom island of insanity plaguing the world like a bored swarm of mosquitos on a humid afternoon.
Last, that bloody annoying dolphin kept coming back. Every single day for the past week. And it was nothing if not an uneeded distraction.
She had tried to get the sea creature to fish for her, or try to find passing ships, or something useful- but nooo, the creature just spent most of the time staring at her from the shallows and chirping. And swimming circles for no apparent reason. And grinning. It wouldn't stop grinning.
And then there were the gifts. Instead of anything remotely useful, such as fish or even driftwood, which could at least be used to start a fire, the dolphin tossed onto shore all manner of strange and entirely useless trifles, such as shells, dead starfish and occasionally souvenirs from ship wrecks. She hoped that some of these souvenirs were from Captain Rosaline's ship.
On top of that, she had the sneaking suspicion that the dolphin was trying to hit on her.
The tropical sunshine really did not agree with her.
She was lucky to be alive, really. All those times running away from the palace and living by herself in the woods really paid off- she knew to quickly dry her clothes, start a fire (after spending the whole afternoon trying), create something vaguely resembling a shelter. Now if that dolphin could freaking help her find some food...
Juliet flopped over on the warm sand, tiredly watching the dolphin swim around.
"Go away," she groaned. "Have fun in the water, eating your delicious fish which you won't even bloody share with me. Stupid dolphin."
The dolphin squirted water at her playfully, grinning the whole while.
"Ugh, thanks," she muttered. "I definitely needed that."
The dolphin did a joyful flip in the water.
"I meant that sarcastically! Why are you so happy all the time?"
Oh great, now she was imagining the dolphin could actually understand her.
Maybe she was having a dream, and she'd wake up soon. Or maybe the transdimensional cellar had led her to a screwed up alternate version of her life. Yes, that must be it. Who to blame, who to blame...
...the dolphin! Oh great, she was certainly mental.
And then something pulled the dolphin down into the water before she could fling something - preferably one of those annoying pelicans that had been keeping her away from the coconuts - at it.
She caught a glimpse of a sea-green fish tail and something dark- hair? but no, sea creatures weren't furry- before the dolphin disappeared under the waves with a screech and a flail.
...dolphins could flail?
That was it. Juliet turned on her tummy and rested her forehead on her arms. Hopefully when she woke up she would be in a saner place and without a sunburn.