I want to tell you about something that I think really sucks. I was confirmed catholic, so I'm not allowed to do communion here. But Uncle Clark wants me to, and so does the pastor, so they're making me take confirmation class.

This is a class where I have to study a book called "Luther's Small Catechism," and basically memorize it word for word. WORD-FOR-WORD! Kill me please.

Oh, but that's not even the worst part. The worst part is most students get confirmed at the end of eighth grade, so I'm in this class with a bunch of middle schoolers.

Possibly the most annoying question in the history of questions ever asked (ranked even above 'are we there yet?') is the question "what does this mean?" Why is this question so annoying? Because this Luther dude decided to ask that question about every fucking thing Jesus fucking Christ ever fucking said. Every prayer, every chant, every commandment, every thought- I have twice as many paragraphs to memorize because of the damned question!

I honestly think that this Luther guy is full of b.s. He isn't God, and yet he basically wrote his own bible. Some of the things he said… like there's a whole page about how homosexuals go to hell, and then another whole page about obeying your parents no matter what, and then there's twelve pages explaining the blood and flesh in communion, and how it isn't really Christ, and yet it is.

And don't even get me started on the prayer…

'He is one God, yet he is three. Yet he is not three Gods, but one God. And there are not three fathers, but one father. Not three sons, but one son. Not three spirits, but one spirit. The three parts, connected in one. And yet they are not one, but three, and yet they are one…" something like that. There's about five pages of just that. It is but it isn't. What does this mean? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW!

I started talking about this to Gerard and Mikey at lunch, but I decided to slip something in just to test the waters.

"And I mean, it says homosexuals go to hell! But it quote verses from the old testament. Isn't that supposed to be invalid after Jesus died for our sins or whatever?"

Mikey hadn't been listening, but Gerard looked up at me curiously.

"I used to think the same thing!" he finally said, and I let out the breath I hadn't known I'd been holding. "I mean, who is this Luther dude to tell us what to do? Who the fuck put him in charge!?"

I laughed, because he'd seriously read my mind. "Did you read my mind or something, dude?" I asked.

He laughed too. I felt a lot better after that.

!

It was Saturday, and I had just finished ironing my school uniform. Grandma makes me do it because she says, 'Women love a domesticated man,' and that it will 'teach me responsibility.' I don't really mind it, because it's not the worst thing I could be doing. I went to the living room and sat down on the couch. Tiffany was playing with some dolls on the floor, and Uncle Clark leaned away from me subtly when I sat down. Grandma was sitting in an arm chair across from the couch, and Uncle Clark was glaring at the TV. The news was on.

The news reporter was discussing equal rights and homosexual marriages. Apparently some people had taken their cases to the Supreme Court. 'Good for them,' I thought, smiling slightly. Then Uncle Clark clicked the television off.

"Fucking pitiful," he said, gesturing to the television. "Those people think it should be a right? They're going to hell,"

"What are you talking about?" I asked, a bit confused. Grandma wasn't saying anything, and Tiffany had stopped playing to stare up at her father.

"The gay rights people!" Uncle Clark snapped. "Those faggots on the tv! Marriage is between a man and a woman. They're going to spread aids if they keep it up. I tell you, we're in the time of Revelations, and those serpents are going to hell. I swear, I got into town and I see them. Just walking through walmart holding hands! Those women in plaid shirts, buying organic chicken. Men in pink shirts. It's just embarrassing," he spat.

Then Uncle Clark turned to Tiffany. "What do we call those people, baby?"

"Faggots," she said. And then I had to leave the room, because I was going to be sick. I went upstairs and locked the bathroom door and turned the water on so nobody would hear me.

I wanted to talk to my mom, so I dialed her number, but it went straight to voicemail. She must have been asleep, or at work. I didn't bother leaving her a message, even though I hadn't talked to my mother for about five days.

I flipped through my contacts absent mindedly, looking at the names I no longer had contact with. There was the kid at my old school that sold me cigarettes in the school bathroom. That girl who taught me how to kiss. My first girlfriend. My first boyfriend. Nobody knew about Anthony, and we kept it that way. We were happy, until one day he just stopped talking to me. He wouldn't call me back or say hi in the hallways. So I just gave up. I've had four girlfriends, and one boyfriend, but only Anthony and my mom know I'm bisexual. I don't trust anyone else.

I came across Gerard's number and pressed call. I almost hung up after three rings, but then he answered.

"Ello?" his voice said.

"Hey Gerard, this is Frank," I said, nervously. I chewed on the cuticle of one nail as I talked. I don't know why I was so nervous.

"Do I hear running water?" he asked me, and I blushed.

"Uhh.. yeah. I-I'm not supposed to be on the phone right now," I lied. "So I told my grandma I'm taking a shower… that way she wouldn't hear me," Well that sounded down right pathetic.

Gerard laughed a bit awkwardly, "Yeah, okay. So what's up, Frankie?" (BTW I have a miniature heart attack every time he calls me that.)

"I was wondering if you'd like to come over and hang out," I said. Wait, what? I hadn't authorized that sentence to leave my mouth. Anarchy! Anarchy I tell you! "Or.. or I could come over?"

I could practically hear Gerard smile, or at least I was imagining him smiling. "There's this great park by my house," he said. "We could go there?"

"Yeah, awesome," Gerard gave me his address and it was only four blocks away. Half a mile. Easy five minute walk.

After we hung up, I turned off the water and went downstairs with a hoodie on. "Can I go out for a little bit?" I asked, smiling as sweetly as possible. "Please?" I purposefully directed the question to my grandmother instead of Uncle Clark, because I didn't like to think he had any control over me.

"Absolutely not," he said, at the same time Grandma said, "Where are you going?" They turned to scowl at each other and Grandma won.

"I'm meeting a friend from school at the park," I said. "About four blocks away. You know the place?"

"Yes, of course," Grandma smiled at me. "Who's your friend?"

"Gerard Way," I answered.

"The boy who teaches Sunday School?" Uncle Clark asked. I nodded, Grandma beamed, and Uncle Clark scowled.

"Go ahead, honey. Have fun. Be back before dinner time," Grandma said, and I smiled happily.

"Thank you so much Grandma!" I said.

As I was walking out the door, I heard Uncle Clark say, "He's doing a drug test when he gets home," Grandma wasn't very happy with him about that.

!

When I got to the park, Gerard was sitting on top of the monkey bars with his legs crossed.

"Hey there, stranger," he called to me, smiling. I waved in return, probably looking like a total dork. God did not bless me with social skills.

"It's weird seeing you in human clothes," I laughed. "I thought you lived in that uniform!"

Gerard stuck his tongue out at me. He was wearing a pair of tight black jeans, an Iron Maiden t-shirt, and a grey hoodie. His red hair looked uncombed and messy, and he had smudged black eye liner under his eyes.

"You look really cool," I said, feeling like a total dork in comparison. Sure, I was wearing jeans, a Black Flag t-shirt, and a black hoodie, but I couldn't have looked nearly as cool as Gerard did.

He laughed, "Are you implying that I don't look cool otherwise?"

I blushed, "N-no of course not! I-I mean-,"

"Chill Frankie," he laughed and swung down, so he was hanging upside down. He looked rather adorable. "I always look fabulous,"

I smirked. "Of course," I walked behind him and started pushing him, so he was swinging back and forth by his knees. "You're a rock star,"

Gerard punched his hands in the air and sang out "I'M THE FUCKING KING OF THE WORLD!" while he swung back and forth. I started laughing.

"You do NOT listen to Porcelain and the Tramps!" I said in astonishment.

"Bitch please," he responded. "Those are my jams!"

I laughed, "I officially love you dude,"

"You have no choice," he laughed. "I'm just too awesome,"

Gerard kept swinging back and forth, but then he suddenly slipped. His legs slipped from the bar and he fell face first to the grass, kicking me in the face and dragging me to the ground after him in the process. I managed to land right on top of him, my chest on his stomach, just above his crotch. We stared at each other a moment, blushing slightly, and then both started giggling hysterically. I'm not sure either of us knows why, but we laughed for a good ten minutes.

By the time we quit laughing, I had my head laid on his chest, tears falling from my eyes from how hard I'd been laughing, and his face was as red as his hair. A few minutes after we stopped laughing I realized what position we were in, and I stood up quickly.

"Oh, I'm sorry about that," I said, a bit awkwardly.

He frowned slightly, and stood up next to me. He brushed off his pants. "It's okay," he said.

"Yeah, but if anyone saw us…" I coughed awkwardly. "You're already in enough trouble,"

He nodded slowly, and then we walked over to the park bench and sat down. I felt his knee press against mine and I didn't move away. I was very, very aware of it though. I liked it.

Eventually I realized it was time for me to get home, so I stood up and said goodbye.

"Hey Frank?" Gerard called, after I had crossed the playground. I turned around.

"Yeah, Gerard?" I called back.

"I liked hanging out with you today," he smiled, and I smiled back because I had no other choice.

"Yeah, I did too. I had a lot of fun,"

"I'll see you at church tomorrow," he smiled. "Maybe we can acolyte together again?"

"I would love that," I said honestly, and then started jogging back home. He had fun hanging out with me, and he wanted to acolyte with me. I don't know if I was euphoric from the fact that I'd actually made a friend, or from the thoughts that maybe Gerard might like me a bit more than friends. Maybe… a boy can dream, right?