A/N: Hey guys!
I apologise for the lack of updates! I've been really busy with work and life in general at the minute.
I was originally aiming to get this finished by Halloween, but I've been so busy I just didn't have the time. I thought about ditching it after I missed my deadline... but hated the thought of leaving it half finished.
I'd like to thank every single one of you for reviews and adding this story to your alerts/favourites. It really does mean a lot and gives me the inspiration to keep this going, so thankyou all so much! :3
Plan B
Unlike Zexion, who spent the vast majority of his spare time in the library, Vexen spent much of his cherished spare time in the labs: his own safe haven from the damn neophytes and their childish behaviour.
What Xemnas saw in them he didn't know.
As such, visits from other members were of an extreme rarity... save for one.
A timid knock on the door caused Vexen to jump somewhat, but he was able to regain his composure before opening the door to reveal a rather flustered looking Demyx, yanking what appeared to be a soaking wet towel from around his head.
He wasn't sure, but he swore he could hear number IX cursing, saying something about "stupid Xemnas" and "ruining his hair".
What Vexen did know, was that Xemnas didn't ruin the younger man's hair. Oh no... someone else had beaten him to it.
Demyx himself.
"Demyx?" Vexen sighed, rubbing his temple.
Demyx always got sent to Vexen after he had gotten himself into some sort of trouble, which was usually rooted to Axel, who was the definition of the word.
Apparently, the scientist was one of the members that would make a suitable roll model for the younger man.
Vexen made a mental note to remind Xemnas that he wasn't a babysitter.
"What is it this time?" Vexen questioned with a rather exasperated sigh. He was tiring of these unneeded interruptions.
Demyx suddenly seemed to find the floor very interesting, shuffling his feet with both hands behind his back. Vexen quirked a brow at the obvious sympathy cry. Had he a heart, he dared to believe that he would've found the sight adorable. Demyx had the uncanny ability to pull off a 'kicked puppy' look. His eyes seemed to double in size, lip poking out to form a small pout.
All he needed was a violin playing sorrow-filled music in the background and he'd be all set. Although, in all fairness, his sitar was close enough.
Alas, Vexen was a cold, heartless scientist, completely immune to the adorable pouting of the Melodious Nocturne.
Demyx inhaled deeply - a sign that this was going to be a long story.
Vexen huffed.
'Best make myself comfortable...'
"Well -"
Purely by his experience in the art of persuasion, Marluxia had managed to coax Zexion out of the library (Marluxia's height + the confiscation of Zexion's Lexicon + an angry, short Zexion = Successful coaxing. Pure genius on Marluxia's part of course) and into the Addled Impasse, where Saix still lay flat out on the couch.
The lazy sod.
Zexion rubbed his arms a little at the cold. He didn't seem to remember it being this cold. Then again, he was in the same room as Saix. The temperature always seemed to drop below freezing when the Luna Diviner was in the vicinity.
A hand on his shoulder practically made Zexion jump out of his skin.
"Okay Zexion. I need you to change the colour of Kingdom Hearts."
The Cloaked Schemer's eyes widened somewhat, his brows furrowing in confusion.
"What?"
Marluxia sighed, rolling his eyes. "You heard me." he gave the schemer a light shove towards the edge of the balcony, ushering him away with a 'shoo' motioning of the hands as though Zexion were some sort of animal. "Change its colour."
Zexion shot a skeptical glance towards Luxord who shrugged in response.
Marluxia had finally lost it it seemed.
"You want me to change the colour of Kingdom Hearts?"
Marluxia nodded. "Everyone knows Saix loves the moon with all his non-existent heart, maybe more than killing innocent children. If anything happens to it he's bound to tear his hair out..."
Zexion really didn't understand the whole point of this silly little bet VIII, IX, X and XI had going. It was utterly ridiculous, not to mention a waste of valuable time. However, he had made a bargain with Marluxia that would be very worth his while, and he never went back on his word.
The Cloaked Schemer glanced up at the moon, then to Saix.
Considering they were stood on the balcony of the Addled Impasse, they were quite safe. If push came to shove, he could always push Marluxia off the balcony accidentally on purpose to get mauled by berserk Saix. If his calculations were correct (which they always were), that would grant him with enough time to escape before Saix got the chance to catch a glimpse of him with his animalistic radar vision.
Clicking his fingers into joint like an experienced pianist, Zexion concentrated.
"What colour?"
Marluxia frowned, stroking his chin as he thought. "Oh I don't know... " he began in a tone that said otherwise, "...try pink"
Didn't see that one coming...
Zexion prevented himself from rolling his eyes at Marluxia's predictable colour choice as he created the illusion, the moon steadily turning bright pink before their eyes.
Marluxia's oceanic eyes sparkled in sheer delight, hands clapping together as he eagerly awaited Saix's reaction.
Unfortunately, said delight wasn't going to last long...
"Pink?! Ha! Why don't you encircle it in a floral array and skip around it while you're at it Marluxia?!" spat Luxord in disgust, "Make it blue! A man's colour."
On command, Zexion changed the moon's colour to blue.
Marluxia forced a smile upon his features. "Zexion." He stammered through gritted teeth, "Make it pink."
Again, the moon turned pink.
"No Zexion! I can pay you more! Make it blue!" Luxord retorted, shooting a smirk at Marluxia.
Marluxia ground his molars in frustration. "Zexion! Make. It. Pink!"
"Blue!"
Xemnas flung himself back into the soft leather chair in the safety of his office with a sigh.
After having punished Demyx accordingly for ruining his delightful shower (with a week's lab rattery), the Superior needed some time alone in the confines of his own office.
The man rubbed his temples slightly, before picking up his mug of coffee. He knew exactly what would make him feel better...
Swinging around in his chair with a smirk, Xemnas glanced up at the sky like a proud father at his beautiful Kingdom Hearts.
... which wasn't looking so beautiful at the moment.
Xemnas' jaw dropped so far, that were there trains in The World That Never Was, one would've easily mistaken the gaping hole for a subway.
Kingdom Hearts was changing colour like some sort of hideous disco ball. It was like something Disney forgot to draw. It was the stuff of Xemnas' nightmares.
Surely he was seeing things. Surely. Wasn't he?
For the first time in his life, Xemnas was lost for words.
"..."
Number I's office would've been completely silent, were it not for the tinkling of the scalding hot coffee pouring itself all over the floor... and Xemnas' lap.
The Superior suddenly regained the ability of speech as quickly as he'd lost it, a pain-filled yell echoing throughout the upper wings of the Castle That Never Was as his steaming beverage scalded the tender skin of his thighs.
Meanwhile, in the common room, Axel was filling Roxas in with all the juicy gossip following the shower incident with Xemnas.
"Man oh man, it was the funniest thing I've ever seen. Got It Memorized?"
Before Roxas got the chance to respond, an enraged scream seemed to shake the walls of the castle, a few books falling from their places on the bookshelf as a result.
The Key Of Destiny immediately shot Axel an accusing look, to which the pyro held up his hands in defense.
"Not me. I have nothin' to do with this one."
Roxas wasn't convinced, but he wouldn't push the matter.
"You gotta admit though..." Roxas glanced up toward a smirking Axel, "If Xemnas keeps squealing like that, he's gona end up sounding like Larxene... I mean damn."
"I HEARD THAT YOU JACKASS!"
"Uh oh..."
"... Yeah. So I got busted."
Vexen's face was void of all expression. In fact, it looked like he'd thrown an all nighter.
A rough all nighter.
It was a well known fact that Xemnas didn't know when to shut up, but Demyx came an extremely close second.
Apparently, Xemnas had sent Demyx down to the labs for punishment... again. Something about Demyx interrupting his shower... argh he didn't know. Number IX babbled too fast for him to take seriously anyway.
Vexen sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. He swore he could feel a migrane coming on. It was to be expected daily when one of his intelligence was forced to reside with buffoons.
"Demyx... did it never occur to you to use a corridor of darkness to escape Xemnas' wrath?"
Demyx didn't respond, his jaw hanging agape as he stared through Vexen at the ceiling behind him.
Oblivious to the Chilly Academic, Xigbar was upside down on the ceiling of the lab, humming the Mission Impossible theme as he crawled towards the two blondes like an experienced member of the FBI.
The Freeshooter held a finger to his lips, signalling Demyx to keep quiet about his presence while he grinned like the cat that ate the canary.
It was no secret that Number II took great delight in irritating Vexen; supposedly he'd been annoying him since the days of Braig and Even.
Old habits die hard.
"Demyx are you listening to me?" Vexen snapped, quirking a brow at the nocturne.
"..."
Xigbar had now lowered himself so that he was hanging upside down mere feet behind Vexen's head. Shooting Demyx a smile and a wink, he started to blow a HUGE bubble with his gum.
Since when does Xigbar chew gum?
Demyx didn't know. More importantly, just where did Xigbar get it from?
Xemnas had forbidden any sort of sugary delecacy in The World That Never Was, especially from Demyx.
Apparently, high sugar intake on Demyx's part was worse than a drunkard Luxord and a depressed Zexion fused together. In addition, Xemnas might add, Vexen was the sole member within the Castle That Never Was that knew anything about dental issues.
Everyone knows sugary treats aren't good for one's teeth.
When you're a neophyte that annoys the living daylights out of said member with dental expertise, going to him with dental problems isn't the smartest idea.
To Vexen, revenge was by far sweeter than any sugary delecay.
"DEMYX!"
Demyx shook his head, almost jumping off the chair he was sat upon.
"Uhh yeah that's great Vexen..."
Vexen snarled at the sheer cheek of the younger blonde.
"You know what your problem is number IX?"
Xigbar's gum bubble was now approximately the size of Vexen's head... and was growing by the second.
Demyx bit his lower lip to stifle his giggles - which lead to Vexen becoming even more enraged.
The image of Vexen's normally stoic, cold face reddening with anger; plus the giant pink bubble behind his head was enough to send even Zexion into hysterics.
"You have no resp-!"
BANG
Had Demyx not been in the room with Vexen, he would've swore that the scream that followed the loud explosion of Xigbar's gum bubble was that of an old lady. Demyx didn't think it was possible for a male's voice to reach such a high pitch.
That's Vexen for you. Defying the laws of science since the dawn of Kingdom Hearts.
"PINK!"
"BLUE!"
"PINK!"
"I'M OF A HIGHER RANK THAN YOU!"
Zexion had had enough. Listening to Marluxia and Luxord squabbling like small children made Xemnas' meetings sound like music to the ears.
"Why don't you choose a colour that's neither pink nor blue? Like purple?" he reasoned, the two arguing males pausing in their conflict to shoot disgusted glares Zexion's way at his intrusion.
"That's not the POINT!" Marluxia hissed, leaning over the balcony, "WHY isn't Saix doing anything?"
Almost on queue, Saix rolled over - and Marluxia virtually fell off the balcony, were it not for Luxord tugging him back to safety by his hood.
Apparently, the Graceful Assassin wasn't all that graceful when enraged.
"He's ASLEEP?!"
Luxord peered over Marluxia's shoulder, all past arguments forgotten as bright blue eyes clapped onto the berserker - who was curled up in the comfort of the leather couch, purring like a small kitten.
"Buggeration."
Marluxia growled, fisting his hands through his hair. He couldn't believe it! Of all the times Saix could choose to take a nap. Saix doesn't nap.
Hell, Saix doesn't sleep.
'HOW DARE HE!'
Truth was, Saix did sleep.
Of course he did.
Sleeping is a necessity for all life forms - even those of non-existent, heartless, bloodthirsty berserkers that use their enemy's blood as war paint and garnish material for dinner.
Number VII just chose his sleeping periods carefully. Sleeping means that the one concerned is vulnerable.
Saix never appears vulnerable for anyone. He makes others feel vulnerable just by looking at them - and he wanted to keep it that way.
A small smile tugged at the corners of Saix's mouth as he dreamed...
Xemnas had left the castle in his charge. Apparently he had some urgent business to take care of.
Quite frankly, Saix didn't care.
Fact was, he was in charge.
How he'd waited for the day.
The smirk on the sleeping Saix's mouth increased tenfold as his sweet dreams were filled with torturous screams, childish neophyte vermin begging for mercy as they were taught a lesson they would never forget...
The smile on Saix's face did it for Marluxia.
He was lying there, sprawled out on the couch smiling in his sleep while he, The Graceful Assassin, Lord of Castle Oblivion was breaking his back trying to get the temperamental git to scream.
He had 5,000 munny sitting heavily on this bet and he was NOT going to lose it to that cocky, intolerable oaf Axel.
"AUGH!"
Anger completely overtaking logical thinking, Marluxia grabbed at the closest heavy object - which happened to be Zexion's Lexicon... and lobbed it at Saix in an Olympic style shot.
Apparently, Marluxia severely underestimated his own strength and accuracy.
The Graceful Assassin's mouth suffered a drought of epic proportions as the flying Lexicon collided with Saix's head - a dead hit.
"..."
Saix smirked dangerously, bearing unnaturally sharp fangs as he raised his claymore above the pyro's head.
Finally, finally, he was going to bash Axel's head in...
Had he a heart, he would be crying tears of joy as he brought the claymore down... and Axel would scream like the petty little girl he really was as it collided with his skull...
WHAM
Saix shot up in shock, falling from the comfort of his couch to the cold, hard floor.
Pain shot through number VII's head as he sat upright... to find Zexion's Lexicon in his lap.
'What the...?'
"MARLUXIA!" Zexion squealed, biting the tips of his fingers, "OF ALL THE FOOLISH-!"
"HE WAS ASLEEP! I have 5,000 munny riding on that fool and I'm -"
"Well I hate to break it to you but he isn't now mates..."
The trio glanced down at Saix, whose golden eyes were scanning the room for the offenders that dared to awake him from his peaceful slumber.
Well, to Saix, violent dreams involving a killing spree where one can bludgeon his colleagues to death defines peaceful. The Luna Diviner's world would be a far more relaxing place were it not for the twelve others that constantly made his life a living Hell.
Zexion abruptly turned on his heel, only to be grabbed by Marluxia's iron grip.
"Not so fast. We have a deal. He hasn't screamed yet."
Zexion shrugged off the assassin's arm with utter scorn. "You may like risking your life for petty gambling needs Marluxia, but I for one am not getting myself involved any further."
The smirk that spread across Marluxia's face was downright unsightly.
"Ahh but Zexion..." he began, edging towards the schemer's ear, "Isn't that your Lexicon in Saix's hands hmm?"
Zexion swallowed thickly.
"Seems like you're already up to your neck in it, wouldn't you agree?"
'Damn you Marluxia. Damn you to Hell.'
Saix's golden eyes flitted around the room, avidly seeking out their prey.
'How dare they. How dare they.'
Everyone knows how annoying it is.
The alarm clock awakening you from a glorious dream... just as you're getting to the good part. Replace that alarm clock with a heavy Lexicon... or the world's largest, most boring textbook to the head.
Not amusing in the slightest.
Not. At. All.
The Luna Diviner's gaze finally fixed upon the trio stood gaping at him from atop the balcony of the Addled Impasse.
Busted.
Zexion and Luxord seemed to be the swift thinkers of the operation, the pair falling over their own feet in their haste to escape with their pathetic lives.
Marluxia on the other hand, took a few moments longer.
His feet didn't seem to want to move. The Graceful Assassin's image strongly resembled that of a deer caught in headlights as blue eyes fixed upon golden slits.
It was in that moment, Marluxia decided Saix wasn't angry after all.
He was pissed.
He swore Saix was growling at him.
Shooting the berserker a quick smile and a wave of the finger wiggling variety, Marluxia turned on his heel and sprinted off with his tail between his legs, hauling ass for all it was worth out of the Addled Impasse and into the hallway.
Saix could feel the familiar sheer power pulsing through his veins, his hair standing on end as Marluxia's head of pink hair bobbed its way out of sight.
Sharpened teeth ground together in frustration, creating an ungodly crunching sound that seemed unnaturally loud in the large, silent domain of the bipolar diviner.
Formerly tightly closed eyelids snapped open to reveal glowing golden pools, the berserker's prized claymore instantly appearing at its master's will.
Someone was going to die a very painful death.
A very slow painful death.
Hacking off of limbs, castration... the works.
Saix was going to make his dreams a reality. Marluxia was a worthy counterpart to practice his bludgeoning techniques on... second only to Axel.
An enraged roar echoed throughout the entire castle as Saix dove through a corridor of darkness, claymore in hand.
Oh Zexion, Luxord and that damned Marluxia got themselves a sustainable head start alright - but that didn't bother Saix. He knew exactly where they were. He wasn't called the Luna Diviner for no reason.
"Luxord..." Zexion panted as he ran for his life, number X alongside, "How far behind is Saix?"
The Gambler of Fate chanced a glance behind him, quickly wishing he hadn't as a screaming Marluxia sprinted between and past the duo with a flurry of petals, a roaring Saix sliding around the corner at the end of the hallway behind him.
"OUTOFMYWAYYOUIDIOTS!"
A fork in the road caught Zexion's attention. He'd finally be able to ditch these two fools.
There was more chance of Saix pursuing Marluxia. Zexion could pull rank on Saix anyway if things didn't go according to plan... though a berserk Saix was decidedly more difficult to reason with.
Unfortunately for the fleeing trio, a sprinting Xigbar skidded around the corner at the crossroads... a flailing, cursing Vexen seconds behind him.
Apparently, Vexen was pretty damn fast when he wanted to be.
"DUDES RUN ICE QUEEN'S GOT HIS PANTIES IN A TWIST AND-"
BAM
The collision was inevitable.
Marluxia crashed into Xigbar, the pair falling to the floor in a tangle of limbs.
Seconds later, Zexion fell over numbers II and XI, Luxord completing the nobody pile on with a shriek.
If only he'd been watching where he was going...
Beautifully synchronised screams were music to the raging berserker's ears as he pounced on his prey, throwing punches here, there and everywhere.
An added bonus to the situation was permission to maul Xigbar - courtesy of Vexen.
Saix didn't want to disobey orders from a superior; he was going to make the best of a bad situation.
His head throbbed with pain after his rude awakening... but that was nothing compared to the searing aches and pains that numbers VI, X, XI and II would feel the following day.
It was time for Saix to put his dreams into practise. Sure, the picnic was short of an Axel sandwich, but there's nothing like saving the best until last...
Victory was all the more sweet after the thrill of the chase... no-one knew that more than Saix.
Thus, Zexion, Luxord and Marluxia learned the true meaning of let sleeping dogs lie.
Oh those poor dears.
I feel incredibly cruel XD
Not much Axel in this one! He wasn't in there at all at first, but I couldn't leave him out :3
Next chapter is the last! (I think XD)
Will anyone get Saix to scream?
Thanks again for reading, reviews, alerts and favourites! They're much appreciated!