Truth or dare with Eragon
Chapter four: Lady blah Blah
This chapter is rated T for mild sexual content.
When Eragon was done explain the rules to the giant red, blue and green dragons, Orik was hopelessly drunk. He had lost the ability to see strait, and his eyes were crossed.
"Okay Orik your up! go and complete your dare!" Arya said.
"Meble svit-kahona bling in thing!" Orik slurred.
"He needs help boys..." Arya said evilly, "Go and help Orik on top of Saphira."
Why is Orik going to be on me? Saphira asked Arya.
I dared him to dance the jig on your back for five minuets strait on your back... Arya explained.
That sounds good to me, I need a good back massage... I have the worst back ache right now.
Saphira rumbled.
Good, just try not to kill him ok?
Very well point ear.
Eragon and Murtagh grabbed Orik after saphira agreed. They helped hold him up while Angela got a ladder. Angela leaned it up against Saphira, while Eragon posed to show off his muscles to Arya.
"Help me Eragon!" Murtagh yelled, "This dwarf weighs a ton!"
Eragon sighed, posed one more time, and then lifted Orik onto his back like a sack of bricks. He steadily climbed up the ladder, and then deposited Orik on top.
"Alright Orik your on top of Saphira now go do your thing!" Arya instructed.
"I musts does thems Jiggles?" Orik asked leaning on a spike.
"Do the JIG Orik do the JIG it was your dare remember?" Arya said.
"Imma be needen the musicals to dance..." Orik slurred again.
"Leave the music to me Orik!" shouted Angela, "I'll go call over my sisters band!"
"You have a sister?" Nasuda asked.
"Well of course! have you ever heard of Lady blah blah?" Angela asked in return.
"OMG I'M A HUGE FAN OF LADY BLAH BLAH!" Nasuda squealed in a very fan girl way, and tore open her shirt leaving a lady blah blah t-shirt underneath. "BRING ME THE BLAH BLAH!"
"Good! I'm going to call her over now! Wait a minuet for me to get her!" Angela called disappearing in a cloud of smoke.
"Well we all know what this means right!" Murtagh said grinning stupidly, "Jepordy music!'
"NOOOO not again!" Yelled Eragon, but he was to late. Murtagh started humming the music while Eridor and Thorn provided deeper bass notes. Eragon screamed as he slowly started to melt. "Stop it I'm allergic to jeopardy music! it's so boring!"
"Stop It you guys your killing my man!" Yelled Arya. She was about to shoot Murtagh through the head when Angela reappeared with a creepy lady that looked futuristic and strange.
"Hit it lady blah blah!" Nasuda screamed.
Lady blah blah smiled at her and started singing into a small black stick with a ball on the end. Somehow her voice became magically amplified, and soon she was singing her all new smash hit 'Poke her face'.
While she sang, everyone else gathered in a circle around Arya and started poking her face along with the song. Arya would have stopped them, but she was to busy looking at Orik dancing on top of Saphira. He was doing the worm one minuet and then doing the robot next. Soon he was breaking down and doing the entire evolution of dance. Murtagh and Eragon hooted and cheered him on, but all three of the women were shocked silent at his drunken dancing skills. Saphria softly hummed along to the music while enjoying her back massage.
When Lady Blah Blah was finished with her song, Nasuda begged for an encore. "DO IT AGAIN PLEASE!" she begged.
However, lady blah blah had other plans, so she spontaneously combusted away back to her studio. After this, Nasuda ran into a corner, got a pen and paper, and started writing hate mail in between sobs.
"Calm down Nasuda..." Murtagh reassured her, "Lady blah blah is a busy person, I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you..."
"But she did offend me!" Nasuda sobbed, "AND NOW I WILL GET MY REVENGE!"
"Are you ok?" Murtagh asked.
Nasuda said nothing, instead she marched out the door. Murtagh was just about to start the jeopardy music again when Arya started screaming.
"YOU CAN STOP POKING MY FACE NOW, THE SONG IS OVER!" She yelled.
"Ohh sorry..." Eragon said sounding ashamed, "I'll go help Orik down now..."
Eragon wordlessly put the ladder back on Saphira and let Orik climb back down.
"I thought you were drunk!" Eragon exclaimed, "How did you do that amazing dancing?"
"Us dwarfs are very good dancers Eragon! why I'm not even considered an armature yet!" Orik said happily.
"Can you teach me?" Eragon asked with wide eyes, "I need to learn from the master!"
"Very well Eragon perhaps another time, but for now we have a game to play right! Everybody back to the table it's my turn!"
At that moment Nasuda entered the room once more. "Where have you been?" Murtagh asked suspiciously.
"I gave the Varden's men orders to search for lady blah blah! I'm using all of our resources on, it SHE SHALL NOT ESCAPE!"
"You sound like George Bush!" Angela said, "You won't find my sister here, she lives in another world and time!"
"Ohh..." Nasuda said, " Who's George bush?"
"Never mind about that, sit down it's time to play!"
Nasuda sighed once more, but then did what Angela said and sat down.
"I do believe it's my turn now." Orik said evilly, "and I know just who to pick!"
AN: YAY MY VERY FIRST COMEDY FANFIC! I NEED FIVE REVIEWS FOR CHAPTER TWO PEEPS! TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF IT ! I had some funny ideas to vent and this is the result! I wrote this entire chapter in half an hour, so expect fast update times! TELL ME HOW YOU LIKED IT PLEASE! tell me what jokes and puns you liked! i am open for suggestions, so if you ask me to do something i will!