Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters, nor do I own a certain book mentioned.

Synthetic Love
Chapter 3

SynTech is a very efficient corporation. With a top-notch security system and an air-tight organizational structure, you are guaranteed to have your order made to your satisfaction and delivered within five to twenty-five days, depending on the order.

When an order is placed, one of the district managers is alerted. He or she communicates with the Purchasing Manager, who communicates with his or her staff to make sure the purchase can go through. Then a Manufacturing Manager is alerted to either start production or check their stock. With so much communication, supervision, and inspection there is a one in a million chance of ever receiving the wrong order.

Which is why Arthur doesn't suspect a thing when he opens a package from SynTech Inc...

Two weeks have gone by with no maid and no DSU. That's right, Arthur ordered one. He called his friend Kiku, not wanting to waste time with trivial matters of it. ("I don't really care how it looks or acts, just as long as it can cook, clean, and take care my son; preferably instilling discipline in him as well.") He was told that it would take some days before his unit came, which he wasn't very happy about, but he couldn't complain about it either.

It is now Monday. Arthur has spent the entire weekend and most of his morning cleaning and doing laundry; there is still a load of Peter's uniforms tumbling about in the washing machine. He made tea and had been hoping to spend the afternoon outside or in the conservatory, but he is too tired to even leave the kitchen! And as if that isn't bad enough, he also has to suffer through a conversation with his most loathsome foe.

"Really, I am terribly sorry, Francis." He says into the receiver of his telephone. "I meant to call but I've been so busy lately, it must have slipped my mind." His lips curl into a smile as he thinks about the torture he had put the Frenchman through. For days Francis would call, and everyday he would put the frog on hold with absolutely no intention of answering. He could put him on hold now, but that would be rude. "So, how was your trip with Jeanne?" he asks, shuddering at the name.

"Ah yes! It was quite the holiday. So much to see, so much to do, too bad we never left our hotel! Ohonhonhon~...But why do you ask? Did you miss your big brother that much, Sourcils?"

Arthur sputters, his face reddening deeply. "NO!" His face heats even more when he hears that absurd laughter on the other end of the line.

"Ohonhonhon~ D'accord, mon petit frere. There is no need to feel jealous or left out. I will make sure to spend plenty of quality time with you to make up."

"As if! I don't want to be anywhere near you, frog! Why don't you-"

The doorbell rings.

Arthur loses his train of thought as he ponders the identity of whoever stood on the other side of his front door. He really doesn't want to get up but he cannot let the door go unanswered. "Ugh...I need to go. Don't expect this conversation to continue." He hangs up, not bothering to hear whatever Francis had to say, and drags his weary body to the front door. "Yes, yes, what is it?"

Standing in the doorway, dressed in a grey uniform is an exhausted courier. He is hunched over, red in the face, and panting as if he had ran a marathon; and Arthur wants nothing more than to kick the portly git off of his property. He is tired, stressed out, and in a rather foul mood thanks to Francis. The last thing he wants to do at the moment is cosset a stranger.

"Pah...pah...package for...Mister Kah...Kirkland."

Arthur looks past the courier. There is a desperate looking dolly covered with tape; its' wheels caked with dried mud and grass. At the sight of it, all Arthur could think was, "Bollocks! I just cleaned these floors!"

Arthur face-palms at the thought of mucking up his floors again. "Yeah, bring it in."

Apparently the crate puts a great amount of stress on the dolly. The courier became a panting, perspiring mess as he struggles to push it. Arthur guides the courier inside, offering whatever assistance he can by moving furniture, making sure that the crate stays secure, and giving a push or pull when needed. With their combined effort, the crate is able to make its' way to Arthur's study. It is only then that Arthur notices the fine print on the crate. Just underneath "this s↑de up" is the logo he thought he would never see, a double-helix underlining "SynTech Inc.".

Arthur could not get the courier out fast enough! As soon as the crate is off the dolly and lying down on its' proper side, he practically shoves the man to his truck, and he is pretty sure he misspelled his signature. But that doesn't matter! His DSU finally came! No more dirty dishes! No more mountains of laundry! No more taking time out of his hectic schedule! No more-

Once again, Arthur loses his train of thought. For laying down in the crate, surrounded by and covered with packaging peanuts is...well...

"Attention! All passengers with business class tickets are now free to board the cabin."

Kiku puts his laptop away and grabs the handle of his carry-on bag. After making sure his that ticket has the same gate number as the terminal ("Just to be sure."), he quickly boards the aeroplane so that he would not keep the other passengers waiting. Kiku doesn't know what to think of the business class section. He is happy and grateful to be able to work while in the sky, but at the same time, the seats are for too spacious for his liking. It makes him a little uncomfortable to have so much room and little to nothing to do with it. Then again, economy class is so crowded. Sure he'd have enough space, but there is a high probability that he would have to share that space with two, three, or maybe even four other people. What if they are sick?! What if they are disgusting and dirty?! What if he had to sit amongst impolite and bothersome children!? Or worse...what if he had been forced to sit next to a woman reading 50 Shades of Grey?! Kiku shudders. "Never again..."

Kiku is jolted from his thoughts as Hare Hare Yukai blasts from his pants. The sudden noise startles him and draws the attention of a scary looking stewardess. His first thought is to appease the obviously stressed out woman and turn off his cell phone, ignoring the call; but what if it's his boss? What if it's a client? What if it's one of his more responsible siblings calling to inform him that Yong Soo, their baby brother, has finally succeeded in burning down their father's house? He needs to answer! And if the stewardess with the over-the-top smile and stone cold stare doesn't like it, he will apologize later.

Without looking at the caller id ("What if it's an emergency?"), he answers. "Moshi moshi, Kiku speaking..."

"Hello Kiku...What are you up to?"

Kiku removes the cellular from his ear to look at the caller id. He has an idea of who was on the calling end, but because of the awkward sounding voice, he wants to make sure. He puts the phone to his ear again and answers calmly, "Arthur-san, I am on a plane that is scheduled for take off in twenty minutes. If you have something to say, say it now."

"Oh!...um...That DSU thing came today..."

Kiku takes a moment to think about why Arthur would call to say that, and why he sounded so unsure. "Is the unit damaged?"

"No"

"Is there anything missing? The instruction manual maybe?"

There is a faint rustling sound followed by, "No. Everything is here."

"Is something wrong with the programming? Is the unit unresponsive?"

"I've not turned it on yet."

"...Do you know how to turn it on?"

"W-what's that supposed to mean?! I am bloody well capable of turning on a machine!"

Kiku has to take the phone away from his ear again. Although he knows that Arthur's technological skills are only a little better than his culinary skills, he doesn't think it would be very polite to mention that. He places the phone against his ear again. "Then what's the problem?"

There is silence for a moment.

"It's not what I was expecting..."

Kiku let the words and their implied meaning sink in. "Forgive me if I am mistaken, Arthur-san, but did you not say that you wouldn't care about looks or even behavior?"

"W-well, yeah...but I was expecting one of the models from the website. N-not that I care or anything..."

"Ah! I see," Kiku says. He thinks back to that day at the cafe when he had suggested to Arthur the idea of replacing his maid with a DSU. "Those models are made for hotels, spas, and resorts. It would be illegal to use their likeness for a privately owned DSU."

"Oh..."

"Sir, I'm afraid you need to turn off your phone. We're about to taxi."

Kiku looks up into the icy stare of the scary stewardess. Her smile has gone from over-the-top to psychotic during his conversation with Arthur; it takes all of his energy and focus to repress the urge to shiver. "Hai, I will turn it off momentarily." He waits until she left before saying, "Arthur-san, I need to go. I'll be out of the country for a few days but if there are any problems with the unit feel free to call me."

"I will. Have a safe flight, Kiku." Arthur presses the end call button and sighs. The DSU is still laying in the open crate looking more like a corpse than a gynoid...or android...It's rather puzzling.

Arthur understands that gynoids are supposed to resemble women, but this DSU...

Something seems off about it.

With his hands, Arthur sweeps aside the packaging peanuts on top.

Short amber waves of hair...

As he removes packaging peanuts from the DSU's face, his hand accidentally brushes against a cheek. He quickly retracts.

Flawless, soft skin...Round, rose-tinted cheeks...It's a little cold though...

Arthur's face becomes flushed. He wants nothing more than to touch that cheek again, just to see if it really feels that way or if it was his imagination. "Not that it really matters; it's just a machine."

He pushes aside his thoughts and quickly brushes off the remaining packaging peanuts, becoming increasingly flustered as he does so. It doesn't take long for Arthur to uncover the rest. What he sees is surprising; not exactly a good surprise and not exactly a bad surprise. It's one of those puzzling, confuse-you-into silence kind of surprises.

Perfectly visible inside the open crate lies a DSU clothed in a pink, long-sleeved, mid-calf lengthed dress with a white turn down collar, cravat, and apron. Adorning honey wheat hair is a matching headdress that's slightly askew from the travel. Clasped around disproportionately small feet are a pair of cream coloured mary janes and from what Arthur could see, the unit is also wearing white tights. It's a cute ensemble; feminine and professional looking. But the unit itself looks a little peculiar. Instead of long hair and perky breast, the hair is short and a little mussed, the shoulders though rounded and soft-looking are broad and the chest is flat, suggesting the appearance of a man. Yet the youthful face, long legs, small waist and notably curvy hips that made an attractive hourglass-like shape ("Not that I really care. I mean, it's only a machine.") suggests a female body. If Arthur didn't know any better, he'd say that it was a man dressed as a woman!

Arthur shakes the idea out of his head. "That's absurd! Kiku wouldn't give me a crossdresser. Maybe he designed it after whatever anime girl he's currently fangirling over?"

Then, he sees it. Arthur takes in a detail so small and trivial, it would have been over looked if he hadn't have been studying the unit so intensely; a smile. It's small and charming; so innocent and genuine without a trace of spite or smugness. It does not hide any mischief. It is not coy, flirtatious, or teasing, but it is warm and inviting; and for a moment, Arthur forgets that this is an android he was looking at. He feels drawn to those naturally grinning lips for some reason ("How long has it been since I've seen someone honestly smile in this house?"). He wants to trace those lips with his thumb and find out if they were as warm as the smile, but before he could get lost in those thoughts, reality crashes into him in the form of an alarm.

Arthur looks at his wristwatch. "Bloody hell! I'm going to be late!"

Pushing away thoughts of the cute ("It's just a machine!"), gender-ambiguous Domestic Service Unit, Arthur runs out of his house. Peter will be dismissed from classes soon, and Arthur had promised to pick him up. After all, Matthew ("That is his name right?") does deserve a break from that at least.

When the lights are turned off, when the doors are closed, and after the familiar sound of Arthur's fiat peeling out of the driveway, a rustling sound comes from the crate. Up from the sea of packaging peanuts comes the fuzzy and green head of Arthur's long forgotten friend, Flying Mint Bunny. In his strange language of bells, whistles, and indescribable melodies, he talks to the dormant creation; to the synthetic human made by the wonders of technology. Sure he could get in trouble; and yes, it was a hasty decision followed by a plan that wasn't completely thought through, but something needed to be done! FMB couldn't just idly sit by and watch his family sink further into the depths of dysfunctionality. No! Someone or something needs to actively bring the Kirklands closer together, and obviously it wasn't going to be FMB.

He flies to the android's head and smooths out the hair (The ride over was rather bumpy.) When he is satisfied with the strands, he kisses the android's forehead and in a musical voice, he sings out, "Alfred~"

It has been a little over half an hour since Kiku's conversation with Arthur. He had been hoping to get some work done during the flight, but ever since take off, he finds himself thinking about the DSU he personally designed for Arthur more often than working.

At first he was going to use the same model design of the sample units created only to show potential investors and clients what they were capable of, but then his sister, Mei Mei, found out and she just had to but in.

Kiku exits out of his business e-mail account and pulls up the picture of the DSU he designed with his sister's help: A cute gynoid with long, dark brown hair put back in a ponytail and beautiful golden eyes. Kiku had programmed her to be headstrong, skillful and very adaptable to handle any and every situation. Mei Mei had named her "Lien"and Kiku was very happy with how she turned out; but ever since that conversation with Arthur, all he could do was worry if he had done something wrong. Maybe a cute asian unit would be too distracting or maybe her personality would be too stressful to deal with. "I knew I should have gone with the sample units' design."

Kiku closes his laptop and puts it away. "Hmph! That's the last time I listen to Mei Mei."

Meanwhile, at a cute wooden stilt house, Kasem Chao rushes to answer his door. Whoever is there must have an emergency; why else would they ring the doorbell in such an obnoxious manner? "Yes, yes, what is it?" Normally Kasem is very polite, but after spending the weekend and most of his day ("My one day off!") cleaning, he is tired, stressed out, and in desperate need of Pad Thai. The last thing he wants to do at the moment is cosset a stranger.

Standing at the doorway, dressed in a grey uniform is a pissed off courier with a large crate and a Delivery Information Device. He inhales sharply and asks, "Package for Mr. Chao?"

Kasem glances over the crate. It's tall, obviously heavy and just underneath "this s↑de up" is a logo he never expected to see, a double-helix underlining "SynTech Inc.". "SynTech? I never ordered anything from SynTech."

The courier huffs in annoyance. "Look pal, I don't take orders, I only deliver them. Now, I need you to sign for this." He says, shoving the Delivery Information Device into Kasem's face.

Kasem takes the Delivery Information Device and signs on the screen with the electronic pen. "What is it anyway?"

"Like I said," the courier growls out. "I don't take orders, I only deliver them." Then he takes the crate inside and rushes out before Kasem has the chance to refuse.

Kasem, now alone in a house smelling of burning Pad Thai, stares at the crate. "Well...this is not what I was expecting."

A/N: I didn't want to say it earlier because I didn't want to spoil anything.

*Yong Soo is S. Korea
*Mei Mei is Taiwan
*Lien is Vietnam
*Kasem Chao is Thailand

If you need help picturing Alfred, click on the image thingy on the top left corner of your screen.