A/N: Thanks again for all the reviews, angeleyenc, Shirley, Biddy429, Emma-MasenCullen, twilight4evr84, WaterPaw, iLiveInYourCloset, RyanPCullen, Lizzie you guys put a smile on my face!! So keep telling me your thoughts on my story :)

To answer questions:
1. How many times do you check? I check once for every update, I don't have the patience to do it more often ;)
2. Is Bella going to tell Jake that the Cullens are back? You'll find out in chapter 6 what happens with Jake;)
3. Will she finally see and talk to Edward? Well, I would be giving too much away if I would answer that right now :)
4. Please update soon! I try to update daily around the same time every time :)

I'm sorry about the cliffhanger but it was the only place I could have really stopped the chapter that would be interesting at least ;) So we'll quickly continue on with the story :P Can't leave you guys waiting too long now can I? ;)

By the way, for those of you who were wondering, I love happy endings and I'm totally team Edward ;)

Well here's chapter 4 about our, or at least my, favorite Cullen girl ;) enjoy and review :)

Alice

"Alice? What are you doing here? How did you know where I was?"

"Duh! You know me right? My talent? So can I come in already or are you going to leave your favorite sister standing out here in the hallway?" The pout that appeared on her face was devastating and I couldn't help but smile a little in spite of myself.

I stepped away from the door and motioned for her to enter. She quickly danced past me and sat down on my bed. She took in the room and shook her head disapprovingly.

"I can't believe you live like this," she commented.

"Why did you come here Alice?" I asked her a little annoyed. After all, Edward wasn't the only one who had left me before, all the Cullens had, when I saw them as my family. But family doesn't do this to each other if you ask me.

"Can't I just come over to visit my best friend?" she asked innocently.

"You haven't done so in the past," I snapped at her. I immediately felt sorry but I didn't get the chance to apologize.

"I know Bella and I'm sorry, he wouldn't let me! I wasn't even allowed to say goodbye! I gave him hell for that for the past couple of years, but he was so miserable Bella! You have no idea. It hurt him too." Her look was pleading and I couldn't stay mad at her anymore.

"I understand, I don't blame you Alice, any of you. It's my own fault. I was a fool. I made this mess and I'm doing an alright job in cleaning it up again right now, thanks to Jake as well."

"Yes the werewolf, I don't like that one bit!"

"I know but you don't have to like it, he's my best friend and he pulled me through the toughest time I have ever had. Besides, he saved me from Victoria, he and his pack killed her after she had repeatedly tried to attack me," I told her in a harsh tone.

Alice flinched at that. "I didn't know, how could I have missed that?"

"Because I was around the wolves remember?" I said in a more soothing tone. I didn't want to be mad at Alice, I was happy she was back and I still loved her, as I did all the Cullens, they were the best thing that ever happened to me and even though they all broke my heart when they left I never blamed them.

"Right, still, we should have been there. I can't believe Edward was so stupid to leave you unprotected like that! He should have never left…"

"It's not like it would be good for him to stay if he didn't want to," I interrupted her.

"What are you talking about?"

"He doesn't love me, why would he stay just because he thinks it would be 'safer' for me? It doesn't make sense."

"Bella! You've got it all wrong! Edward didn't leave because he didn't love you anymore or because he didn't want to be with you! He left because he thought he was endangering your life by being around you all the time, that's the only reason he left and we all willingly went with him. He didn't let us say goodbye to you because he thought it would make things easier for you, clean break and everything. I could have told him it wouldn't work out for either of you, you need each other, but he didn't want to listen to me. He hasn't been with our family in so long. He needed time to be on his own. When he came back a few weeks ago he was a mess, he hadn't really been taking care of himself. He hardly ever fed and he was miserable. I knew you were coming here so I enrolled us, without really consulting with the rest. I told them I really wanted to come here, when I really want something nobody can resist," she smiled evilly, "I was very careful with my thoughts around Edward but I knew he wasn't really listening to my thoughts anymore anyway, the reality of the way he looked was too much for him to handle and I was angry with him for leaving us and for leaving you in the first place so he tried to stay away from me as much as possible. He couldn't see my motivations for coming here so he didn't think anything of it and just came along. Only Carlisle and Esme knew my reason and they had happily agreed to help out. They want you two to work things out as much as I do. We hate to see you unhappy, both of you." She finished her explanation in a rush.

I didn't believe what she was saying, I knew she meant well but from the look on his face when Edward had told me he didn't love me anymore I knew he wasn't lying. He didn't love me anymore and now I had come to accept it. Why was she doing this to me? I didn't want to think about what she said. It hurt too much to start hoping that she was right. I couldn't believe it. Alice had never lied to me before and she had rarely been wrong. Especially not about things like this but she just couldn't be right. There had to be something she wasn't telling me.

"I… I don't know what to say. I know what I saw, what he told me. How can you tell me that wasn't true?" I asked her skeptically.

"Bella, you've spend enough time with us to understand that we're good at pretending," she shook her head disapprovingly, "pretending to be something we're not is what we do on a daily basis Bella, you know that! How can you believe what he had told you once over what he repeatedly told you for so many months prior to that one occasion. And you noticed he'd been acting strangely ever since that one birthday," I flinched at the memory I had tried so hard to keep from my mind over the past years, "I know it hurts you Bella and I'm truly sorry for everything that has happened to both of you since then. But I know you still have feelings for him, like he has for you, your love is stronger than this so don't throw it all away because of his ridiculous behavior, I'm begging you!"

I hadn't even spoken to Edward, hell I hadn't even seen him, since I found out they were in New York as well and she was already begging me to take him back? How could I? I knew she was wrong about his feelings. I never thought I would see the day where I would bet against Alice but it has arrived and I'm pretty sure it would be a bet I'm going to win. There's just no way he loves me, it hadn't made sense to me before and it still doesn't after all these years so how can she think it's the truth? I'm sure he was just miserable for an entirely different reason, maybe he felt guilty that I had been so pathetically in love with him and the way I begged him to stay. That must be it. Guilt. There just wasn't another explanation.

"I don't know what to tell you Alice. Just don't ask me to answer you please! I can't!" I pleaded with her, I all but fell down on my knees to beg her, she couldn't do this to me, if she truly loved me she wouldn't. "Just, let it go, it hurts Alice," I choked out, sobbing.

She pulled me into a hug and started rubbing circles along my back, soothing me. The texture of her skin, the coldness, the hardness, it felt comforting and I felt better immediately.

"It's alright Bella," she said in a hushed tone, "You're going to be alright, it'll all work out, I can see that. Trust me." I let her comfort me for a while and when the tears finally stopped I was exhausted. I wanted to get to bed straight away but I knew it was silly because it was only five o'clock. My eyes hurt and they must have been bloated. I must have looked like a moron.

I straightened myself and went over to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I immediately felt better after I had some liquid to soothe my throat. Sobbing really hurt, it still burnt a familiar trail along my throat, raising old wounds to the surface again. All those nights I had spent crying over Edward were still fresh in my memory and my entire body felt it. I couldn't do this. Alice was asking too much. I had to stay away from Edward. I didn't want to stay away from Alice but maybe that was the only way. Hanging out with her meant having the opportunity to bump into Edward by accident and I couldn't have that. I didn't want to loose my friend again.

"Please Bella!" Alice must have noticed my plan to stay away from all the Cullens because the look she gave me was devastating. She would have had tears in her eyes had she been capable of it. "Don't!" she pleaded.

"I don't know how to be close to you without running into him," I explained.

"I can make it work. Don't shut me out! I'll keep you away from him if that's what you want but don't shut me out of your life again Bella, I just got you back, I love you! You're my best friend!" Her plea was working. I wanted her to stay with me, I wanted to have my friend back. I had missed her so much.

"Promise me you won't try to make me meet Edward!" I said defeated.

"I promise Bella, thank you!" she gushed as she pulled me back into a hug.

After that we spent the rest of the evening chatting happily about events that had happened to us. I told her about Victoria and she had been very upset, but I also told her about my job and my friends and my adventures with Jacob, she still wasn't happy that I had been hanging out with a werewolf all this time but since he had saved me over and over from different kinds of demons, both inside and out, she was able to accept him as collateral damage.

In return Alice shared the stories of all the Cullens, what they had been up to while they were away. We talked about everything but one, I couldn't hear what he had been up to, I didn't want to, Alice knew and understood so she didn't bring him up. I know she was aching to tell me what he had been doing but whenever she would start about him she noticed my expression and quickly changed the subject. Which earned her a thankful smile from me every time.

It was nice to hear how the Cullens had been all these years and I loved talking to Alice again, it was as if she had never left. The same way I had felt before with Emmett. I had missed all of them terribly and I was happy that I could at least have a part of that history back. It made the aching in my heart that was still there every single day a little more bearable.

"Promise me something else," I started at some point, "promise me the next time you're going to leave that you'll say goodbye! The proper way! Don't just disappear without a word alright? I know I can't ask you to stay near forever, that wouldn't be fair but you can at least promise me this much, can't you?"

"Oh Bella! I didn't want to leave things like this, I felt horrible! I promise I will never do that again! Nobody can make me repeat that again! I refuse to feel this way ever again!"

I had been happy with her promise and I was relieved to find that she still felt the same way about me as she had before. That made one of them.

Around seven, Shirley walked in and I introduced her to Alice. I had told her stories about Alice before and she had immediately recognized her. Luckily the both of them hit it off and we spent the rest of the evening chatting and watching a movie. It was the best night I had had in a long time.

After several hours of just hanging out Alice said she was going to 'call it a night', she had class early in the morning so she had to 'hit the sack' early. I couldn't help but laugh when she had said it, her face had been so serious and convinced and it had been so long since any of it sounded surreal, I hadn't been used to those kind of things being lies anymore and I couldn't stop myself. I laughed in spite of everything. I laughed about my past and about things that I had considered normal and how ridiculous they would be to anyone else. In love with a vampire, a werewolf for a best friend, it sounded more like a horror movie than my life. So I laughed. Of course this caused Alice to glare at me and Shirley to look at me questioningly, there was no doubt both of them thought I had lost my sanity completely by now. I couldn't blame them, I had been quite out of it ever since I had run into Emmett again.

It wasn't long before Alice was out the door after she had given me a hug and a kiss on my cheek.

"I'm so happy I can be your friend again!" she had whispered into my ear, "I'll see you soon!"

"Goodnight Alice," I had murmured.

Even though I had spent the biggest part of my day laying in bed I was exhausted and as soon as my head hit my pillow I was out. I had had many dreamless nights lately but tonight wasn't one of them. As soon as I was asleep my mind started forming images my heart wasn't prepared for.

I was in the cafeteria, standing in line with the rest of the students. It was crowded and Alice was standing next to me, chatting to me happily about something she and Jasper had been up to during the weekend. I didn't listen carefully so I didn't hear what she was saying. Like always I had my eyes fixed on my plate. Deliberately not looking for him. I noticed a pull on me coming from the left corner of the cafeteria and I couldn't help but walk over there after I had paid for my lunch. Alice was dutifully following me as I walked right past my friends' table. I struggled to change course but I couldn't. I felt like I was floating and I was attracted to the left corner. I kept my eyes fixed on my tray. I didn't want to know where this was going. Of course I knew but I didn't allow myself to actually look.

Without consciously making the decision I was sitting in a chair at the table that had been forcing me to go there. I noticed there was still a pull coming from my left side and I knew all too well what, or rather who, caused that pull. So I tried with all my power to avoid looking at him. I stared straight ahead, lifting my head a bit so I could notice other things in my surrounding.

Alice was sitting across from me, still chatting happily about her weekend. Next to her was Jasper. Rosalie and Emmett were approaching our table with their trays of food. I noticed I couldn't speak. I looked over to my friends and I noticed that they weren't concerned about me. They didn't look at me although I had given them pleading looks before. They seemed happy the way they were, without me. It was as if I had never existed.

The pull on my left side kept increasing and at one point I couldn't resist anymore, it was simply too strong. It was as if someone was holding my face in their hands and pushing me towards the left side. I closed my eyes, trying one last time to not see him. I couldn't keep them closed.

When I opened my eyes I saw him. More beautiful than I had remembered him. He looked glorious and I gasped. My heart started beating faster, almost bursting out of my chest, and my stomach made multiple loops. He was staring back at me, looking me right in the eyes with his gorgeous golden eyes, it was as if he was staring straight into my soul.

Suddenly the surroundings changed and everyone else disappeared. Edward was wearing a tuxedo and when I looked down I noticed I was wearing a ridiculously outdated prom dress. He was holding his hand out to me as if he wanted to ask me to dance. I took his hand and he lead me to what seemed to be a large ballroom, the lights were turned low and romantic music was playing. Edward took me in his arms and we started dancing. I hadn't felt this good in so long. He moved his head closer to mine and his lips touched mine.

The moments our lips locked I floated above the scene like a ghost. I could see myself clearly now. I didn't look anything like I had expected. My hair had changed color, it was strawberry blonde and I was taller than I normally was. Slimmer too. I was gorgeous. The girl in his arms turned her face towards me and her eyes were golden brown, like Edward's.

Of course he hadn't been dancing with me. Even though I had never met her, I knew this girl represented Tanya. She would be a perfect match with Edward. That realization made my world crumble and everything fell apart.

I gasped as my eyes shot open, my heart was burning and there were several daggers racing through my chest. I grabbed my chest with all my might and tried to hold myself together the same way I had done so many months ago. I was sobbing. I realized I had a roommate now and I tried to keep it down. I couldn't so I decided to go for a walk around campus to calm myself down. I put on my shoes as quietly as I could manage. I pulled a sweater over my head and threw my coat on before storming out the door, still trying with all my power to hold myself together and not to make any noise.

After half an hour of walking aimlessly across campus I saw a bench and crashed down. I didn't stop the tears anymore, I just let it flow and patiently waited until I was done. It took me longer than I had expected and I was still crying after what felt like an hour since I had sat down. I was getting cold and I was just about to head back. I had an early class tomorrow as well and I could see that it was already around five in the morning since lights started to go on around campus and the sky was a bit lighter every time I looked up.

I gave myself five more minutes to finish crying even though I knew it would be hopeless, I would probably still be crying when my classes started. I might have to skip again today but I couldn't keep this up or I would be kicked off because I would get too far behind.

I lowered my face back into my hands and surrendered to what would be my last five minutes of sobbing alone. Or at least, so I thought. Because I didn't hear anyone approaching but out of nowhere I heard his voice, concerned.

"Bella?" He asked softly with his velvety voice.

A/N: That's it for chapter 4, I hope you like it :) Please don't be mad but I couldn't resist giving you another cliffhanger (A) Again this was the best fitting end of the chapter I could come up with (A) All your patience with me will be rewarded in the end ;) The next chapter will be up tomorrow around the same time ;)