Were All Messed Up Chapter 4.
Sara POV:
When Tegan and I get back to our hotel, we went to the front desk to see if Lindsey had checked out. They said she did about 1 hour ago. I grab Tegans arm and we walk up to our room. I place my card in the slot and open my door. Tegan walks into the pitch black room and I hear her fall on the bed. I chuckle and step in. It takes me a couple of seconds to find the light switch, when I finally find them, I turn them on and the room is instantly lit. As I turn around to close the door I feel myself step on a piece of paper. I look down and find a note with Tegans name written on it. I look at her.
"Uhh Tee, someone left you a letter?"
She lifts her head from the pillow and looks at me.
"Huh?"
I walk to the bed and she turns over on her back. I sit down next to her and hand her the note. She looks at me and opens it.
Tegan POV:
Tegan,
I honestly don't know what to write, Im just gonna write the truth. Tegan I heard what you said when I was walking away and I want you to know that I dont hate you. I am hurt and very confused though. On my way back to the hotel I did alot of thinking. I thought about the time we first kissed, the time we first made love, the first time you told me you loved me. All those memories burned through my mind. But one memory made sure it was noticed. It was right when Sara broke up with Emy. The first night Sara came to stay with us. I woke up at 3 in the morning and you weren't next to me. I got out of bed and walked through the hallway. I saw Saras door open just a crack, I decided to check up on her and there you were, sitting on the edge of her bed, watching her sleep. I was about to ask you if she was okay when you looked at Sara and brushed your hand across her cheek. You told her " Sara, I love you so much more then im supposed to." I thought what you said to her was cute. Now that i think back on the memory, I cant help but feel stupid. Tegan I love you, and I know you love me too. Sometimes no matter how much we love someone, once they hurt us, we can never forgive them. I love you so much that I cant not forgive you. I want you to know too, that i do understand what it feels like. Falling in love with someone who's made for you. Anyways I want you to know that i want to talk to you again, maybe we can meet up for dinner and just talk,without the lies and bullshit, a real talk. Ill call you when im ready.
-LB
I put the note down on my lap and cover my face with my hands. How can losing someone who I wasn't "In Love" with, hurt this much. Was I in love with her? Or was I just used to her company? Either way I still feel sad. I look over to Sara and shes playing with her nails,her head hanging down. In that moment I realize something, I realize that I may love LB and I will always care for her, but where Im at right now, looking at my sister, I kno shes the one that was made for me. I live for her. I can't go a day without her laugh, I cant go a second without her smile, I cant go on living life, without her. I reach my hand and lift her chin so shes facing me, eyes to eyes, nose to nose, lips to lips. Were perfectly molded. I lean in and kiss her on her lips. I feel a wave a lust rush down my whole body. I deepen the kiss and lay her on her back. I want to make love to Sara, I don't want to fuck her, I dont want to bone her, I want to make love. I want to show her what she means to me. I climb on top of her and straddle her waist. I look into her eyes and pull her shirt over her head. I lean down and she arches her back, I undo her bra and toss it to the floor.I stop and stare at her topless figure. I lean down and place kisses from her jawline down to her breasts. I palm them and kiss my way down to her pants. I slowly unzip them and Sara whimpers.
"Tee please"
I look up and shes looking down at me. I pull down her pants and her underwear, I toss them to the side and spread her legs. I look at her naked form on the bed, she has a pleading look on her face. I move my face between her legs and take in her sex. I slowly slide my tongue up and down her slit. Her legs shake and her hands clench the sheets. I stand up and remove all my clothing. Sara just watches me. I stand there for a second and she takes in the sight. I move to the side of her bed and quickly pick her up. She gives me a nervouse chuckle and I kiss her forhead. I take her to the belcony of our hotel. I place her on the edge and she hold onto the rails. I again kiss my way down to her crotch. I glide my tongue down her clit and stop at her entrance. I slowly push my tongue in, Sara moans and pust one hand in my hair. I wrap my arms around her waist and start to message her walls with my tongue,tasting her juices. I take in her taste and I cant help but moan. She pulls my face up to hers and kisses me. She leans her head to my ear and whispers.
"Make love to me Tegan Quin."
I remove one hand from her waist and trail her side, down to her core. I enter her with three fingers. I pump in and out. Saras sucking and nipping on all the right spots on my neck. She trails her hand down my stomach and ends at my entrance. She pushes 3 fingers in me and I tilt my head back. She pumps in and out, keep her rhythm steady with mines. I feel her walls began to clench around my fingers. I look at her face and she has her eyes closed. I kiss her lips and pull away .
"Open you eyes Sara"
She opens her eyes and I start to feel my walls clenching. Our faces both start to scrunch up and in seconds were cumming on eachothers hands. After our breathing regulates, I pull my fingers out from her. I left them to my face and see her cum. She looks at me and I began to lick my fingers clean. I never break eye contact with her when she takes her fingers out of me and licks them clean. I lean my forhead on hers.
"Sara Quin."
"Yes Tegan?"
" Do I make you happy?"
I look at her and she doesn't reply. After what seems likes year to me she finally gives me a small weak smile and answers me.
"Tegan, you have made me the most happiest girl in the world, I love you"
" I love you to Sara."
We hold eachother and place a kiss on eachothers nose.
"Tegan?"
"Hmm?"
"This has been the best of my life and I never want it to end . . . but im freezing, can we go back inside?"
Her teeth start to chatter and I chuckle at her. I help her off the edge and she walks into the room.
Sara POV:
I get on the bed and cover myself with the thick comforter. Tegan gets under the blanket and pulls me close to her, her breasts on my back.
"Tegan"
"Please Sara, I feel empty when Im not holding you . . ."
I turn over and face her, I roll my eyes at her excuse and she flashes her famous gummy smile. I chuckle and fall asleep.
Morning.
The sun hurts my eyes as I slowly start to wake. I reach for Tegan and get nothing but empty sheets. I pick my head up and see a note left on her pillow. I pick it up and adjust my eyes.
Sara,
Went to go get cofee, Be back soon.
Xo-Tegan
I smile and put the note down. I think back to last night and start to giggle into my pillow. I feel like a little girl with butterflies in my stomach. Im cut off by my phone vibrating on the floor. I reach down and pick it up.
1 New Text Message: Stacey
I hesitate for a moment and click on my track ball.
Sara, I've been thinking and maybe I made a mistake. I miss you and I want to see you.
My eyes widen and my heart drops. Stacey was my girlfriend after Emy. We were together for about 10 months. She broke up with my because I wasn't "Romantic " and I never opened up to her, which cause her to cheat on me apparently. I really liked Stacey and when she broke up with me, It hurt. Im distracted with all my thoughts that I dont here the door open.
"Hey Sara you ohkay?"
I whip my head to her direction and look back at my phone.
"Stacey texted me . . ."
She looks at me and hands me my coffee. I take a sip and instantly wake up. She sits down on the bed and takes my phone. She looks at the screen and hands it back to me.
"What are you gonna tell her Sara?"
I think about it. I dont know what im gonna say. What do I say?
"Uhh I don't know, maybe Ill meet up with her and just talk, you know . . . to see what she wants?"
Tegan gets off the bed and goes to the bathroom.
I take this time and text back Stacey.
Your in New York?
After a minute my phone vibrates.
Yea im going to your show tonight, I was thinking we could go for dinner before? say at 5?
I text back,trying to hury before Tegan comes out.
Oh ohkay meet me at The Rocky Cafe at 5.
Stacey texts back seconds later with a simple Kay and can't wait to see you.
Tegan opens the bathroom door and walks to her suitcase.
"Im gonna meet up with Stacey before we play tonight, Is that ohkay?"
She looks at me and puts her head down.
"Yea just dont be late to the venue"
She takes her clothes and walks back into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn on and I get up and quickly get dressed. I write Tegan a note saying Im going to grab some breakfast and go check out our new bus . I grab my phone and head out the door.
Tegan POV:
I step out of the shower and look in the mirror. I start to think about whats gonna happen tonight when Sara meets up with Stacey. I try to push the thoughts away and brush my teeth and blow dry my hair. I put my clothes on and open the door. I walk into the room and Saras not here. I see the note I left her with her writing on it. I pick it up and read it.
Tee gonna get some breakfast and check out the new bus. be back later. Love you.
- Sara
I throw the note on the ground and fall on the bed. I start to cry. I know Sara loves me but Stacey is different. She actually made Sara happy, not that Emy didn't but Staceys just different. My phone starts to ring, I pull it out from my pocket and look at the screen.
Lindsey Calling
My heart stops and i quickly press the answer button.
"He. . . Hello?'
"Tegan?"
"Uh hey Lindsey."
Shes quiet for a moment then she speaks.
"Did you uh get my letter?"
"Yea . . . "
"Well do you want to meet up tomorrow for Lunch?"
I think but quickly answer her, I need to resolve things with her.
"Yea sure."
"Kay well Ill um I guess Ill pick you up at 1?"
"Yea sounds good."
"Ohkay, well uh goodluck tonight , see you tomorrow."
Before I could tell her goodbye she hangs up. I sigh and throw my phone back on the bed. I start to doze off.
Sara POV:
I walk back to the hotel at 4:30 and find Tegan past out on the bed. I take a quick Shower and change my clothes. I place a soft kiss on Tegans forhead ans quietly as possible, I dont want to wake her up. I leave the room and head for The Rocky Cafe.
Maybe I shouldnt be doing this
I walk up the stairs of The Rocky Cafe.
I should be with Tegan right now not here
I open the doors and step in the restraunt. The young guy ask my how many, I see Stacey at the corner of my eye and tell him im meeting her. She sees me and waves her hand. I turn on my heels and walk to the table.
Sara what are you doing!
I get to the table and she pulls out my chair for me. I sit down and she sits down.
"I missed you Sara. . ."
Im gonna regret this.
Tegan POV:
I wake up and and look out the window. The suns about to set. I jump up from the bed and look for my cell phone. I find it on the floor and press my trackball. The screen lights up. I check the time, 7:35. I have to be at the Bus by 8. I quickly freshen up and head out.
I walk onto the bus at 7:55, thank god! As I step in I hear the guys and Sara all talking. I walk up and everyone turns around. They stare at me and I just give them an akward smile and head to my bunk. Once we get to the Venue, we rush back stage and get our final touches done.
After The Show
I walk off stage after our encore. Im still exhausted. That nap did nothing for me. As im walking back to the dressing room I spot a very familiar looking girl down the hall. I shift my body to get a better look at her. The woman is Stacey. I keep my eyes on her and see Saras figure walk up to her. I quickly hide behind and wall and watch them. Staceys talking and Saras just standing their. Suddenly Stacey leans in and kisses Sara full on the lips. My eyes start to water and I cover my mouth so no one can here my hushed crys.
She didn't even try to pull away
I see Sara tell Stacey bye and she starts to walk back to the dressing room. I rush to the bathroom and occupy a stall. I sit their and cry.
Bzzzz Bzzzz
I pull out my phone from my back pocket.
1 New Text Message : LB
I open the text .
"Hey umm do you wanna come to my hotel tonight,we can talk here?"
I hesitate for a second then start to text back.
"Pick me up from the Venue?"
"Kay be there in 10."
Dont do it Tegan.