Chapter 2 Cry

I had eventually calmed down and stopped crying. It had given me a chance to catch my breath.

So Edward and I were left sitting on his bed in silence. Every few seconds I would sneak a peek at Edward.

His eyes were staring at the ground and his mouth was set in a straight line. His eyes were hard and focused. He was pinching the bridge of his nose with two fingers.

"Edward," I finally forced myself to whisper.

He didn't move, he just continued to stare at the ground.

"It's gonna be okay," I murmured. "I'm sorry I freaked out on you there."

"It's okay," Edward's voice was quiet but hard.

"Are you mad?" I whispered.

"What would I be mad?" he asked, shrugging his shoulders.

"That didn't answer my question."

Edward turned to look at me and he gave me a weak smile. "You're not the only one who'd lost their virginity and can't remember it," he said quietly.

"You don't seem like that's what is bothering you," I murmured.

He turned to look at me and sighed, about to explain was suddenly...

"Edward! Bella!" a high voice exclaimed. "We're home!"

"Alice," Edward chuckled. "Always comes in at the wrong moment."

I forced a smile and stood up. "We're up here!" I called, walking out into the hallway and towards the stairs.

I heard Alice's footsteps running up the stairs at a fast pace. I bit my lip, realizing that I couldn't tell her anything about what happened. Edward would kill me.

I loved Alice and all, but Edward and I were even closer. I couldn't do that to him.

"Bella!" Alice shrieked, throwing her arms around me.

"Hey," I laughed. "How was your vacation thing?"

"Awesome!" Alice sang. "I wish you and Edward were there. I mean seriously you would have loved it!"

She threw her arms around me again and I bit my lip hard to keep from crying. I hated keeping secrets from Alice. This was harder than I thought!

"Alice! Let her breathe!" I heard Jasper chuckle from behind Alice. "Her eyes are watering since she can't get any air in!"

"She's turning blue!" I heard Emmett laugh loudly.

Alice let go of me and I suddenly gasped in a breath that I didn't even realize I was holding. "Are you okay?" I heard Edward's soft voice behind me.

I nodded slowly. I turned my head and found Rosalie staring at me strangely. I glared and she turned away. Rosalie and I were not close. We were civil, but she hated me. She always did, and I never understood why.

"Hey Bella, you're looking a little pale there," Carlisle said, walking up the stairs. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah," I said, running my fingers through my hair. "I just um... I have to go."

I turned and bolted down the stairs and towards the front door. I threw the door open behind me and gasped for breath the second that I was outside.

I felt like I was being suffocated inside. I could barely breathe.

I walked over to my truck and leaned against it as I gasped for air.

The front door of the house slowly creped open and footsteps sounded as they walked towards me. "Bella," a voice said.

I looked up to find Edward watching me. I looked back down at my feet and wiped a tear away from my face.

"You really got my family worried back there," he whispered.

I shrugged. "Tell them I was late for an appointment," I said.

Edward nodded and then his eyes softened. "Are you alright?" he asked me.

No! I wasn't alright! I just lost my freakin' virginity to freakin' Edward and didn't even freakin' remember it!

"Yes," I sighed. "Look I have to go."

"You don't have to leave," Edward said quickly. "You could stay-

"No," I cut him off. "I have to leave."

And with that I turned and opened the car door and climbed inside. Edward gave me a slight wave before shoving his hands inside of his pockets. I nodded towards him and started the car before pulling out of the driveway and leaving.

I cried most of the way home. By the time I got home I wiped my eyes and walked into the house to find it empty.

I was grateful that I was home alone. Charlie was at work. Good.

I went up stairs and started the shower, enjoying the feeling as the steam filled the bathroom. I quickly took my clothed off, only to find a bite mark on my shoulder. "Holy freaking crap!" I gasped.

What had we done last night? I couldn't believe this! How could this have happened?

I stayed in the shower for close to an hour, but I had to get out when the water turned cold.

I wrapped a towel around myself and looked in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes and my eyes were red and swollen.

Maybe this was all a bad dream. Maybe I would wake up in the morning, grateful that none of this had happened. But it had.

I walked into my room and put on a t-shirt and sweatpants. I then dropped down onto my bed and screamed into my pillow, cursing as loudly as I could.

My phone suddenly started ringing. I froze and reached over to pick it up. I cleared my throat before answering.

"Hello," I said.

"Hey Bella," Alice's cheery voice came from the other line. "Everything alright? You left pretty quickly from our house."

"Yeah," I lied. "I just... I wasn't feeling great. Just a headache. But I'm better now."

"You're lying," Alice said. "You're terrible at lying.

I sighed. "I have to go," I said, before hanging up.

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