Silent Boom Chapter 4
A/N … there is one scene within this chapter that will likely seem way out of context. It's there because I believe that despite all the anger and pain Castle would indeed want to offer Beckett one small piece of grace. A moment that he would understand and that she did not even know she needed. Castle reaction is a simmering controlled rage. The team attempted to ambush him at his home without any regard for his family, without respect, without friendship. He's in control on the surface while a fierce fire is burning just underneath … hidden except in his eyes. The chapter it did not come out quite as I originally thought … I tried to go with the original thought and it felt like it was too contrived. The result is a little outside the box. I think one reason is to show that Rick is not going to grovel or do as Beckett pleases. His life and his plans.
Edited for grammar 4-15-12 … still far from perfect.
Previously …
To: Dr. Lanie Parish, M.E. NY City
From: Honorable Robert Weldon, Mayor of New York, New York
Dr. Parish,
You presence is requested at One Police Plaza at 11:00 AM Monday. There will be a brief ceremony to thank Mr. Richard Castle for his service to the city and the NYPD. Please be advised that Mr. Castle is under the belief that this ceremony is to honor Detectives Beckett, Ryan and Esposito. They will be honored, as they truly deserve. The honor for Mr. Castle is also deserved. However, he refused the honor. He has asked for no recognition of the work he has loved doing the last nearly four years. Please keep this confidence. My friend will not be happy with me when the city offers its thanks. I simply feel the city owes him, a debt and this will be the only chance to begin to recognize his contributions. I believe you and the others surely agree that he has been a true asset to our city and the NYPD, in particular.
Please confirm to my office your attendance.
Sincerely,
Robert Weldon
Mayor
The stunned group was silent after reading the email. They were sure the emails they had received were the same … they all understood that there was something life changing happening. The question was what, truth be told they all had a pretty good idea what it was. Kate Beckett the immovable force was the first to crack . "Nooooooooo!" … though it was barely a whisper it was louder than any sound ever heard. They all turned to look at the source and what they saw was something they had only seen one time before … one person had ever looked so lost and hurt before. It was the same look that Rick Castle had worn for hour really days after Beckett had been shot then months earlier.
Lanie glances at the clock sitting on the bookcase … 3:48 P.M., she barks out a question … "Anyone here besides me think the only way we find out what happened is to confront writer boy?" Lanie is always deliberate the term "writer-boy" is used to poke at Kate, it usually embarrasses her. This afternoon it gets about an eighth of a smile, for maybe a second. It's a start. Everyone agrees.
She continues … "Here's what we do Javi grab the murder board. Kevin, call Castle if you think he will talk to you. We need to know if he's home without spooking him. We're going to take him hostage if we have to." The tone of her voice tells them she isn't kidding. They don't give Beckett a chance to object.
"Castle hey its Ryan did I leave my Yankees hat there?"
"Ryan, I haven't seen it."
"Okay, must be at the precinct. Thanks."
Twenty minutes later the team/family arrives at Castle's and with the mini version of a murder board in Javi's hands they head into Castle's building. Much to their surprise Captain Gates is waiting for the elevator.
The doorman starts to stop them from entering … "Detective Beckett I'm sorry you are no longer on the approved guest list nor are any of your friends". George likes Rick Castle and his family he's seen Kate Beckett, Esposito and Ryan enough to know if they are off the list they hurt Rick or his family anger Castle deals with he moves on, hurt not so much – after 15 years on the job you know your tenants the Castle's are good people.
Stunned silence Castle had banned them. What the hell?
Captain Gates having heard the doorman, "Excuse me this is official police business they are with me." The doorman knows that the Captain was still on the approved list. She had identified herself with her police I.D. … He makes the decision that if an NYPD Captain says it's official business then he won't argue after all cops never lie. Mr. Castle respects the NYPD.
Georege decides to call Mr. Castle to warn him of his unexpected guests on "official business". "Yes George?" Castle asked as he answered having seen the caller I.D. that identifies the call as coming from the lobby security phone.
"Mr. Castle, Captain Gates and the detectives you took off your guest list are on the way up. I'm sorry."
"George, I understand the Captain doesn't take no for answer. That's why I left her on the list."
By the time the Captain and team arrive Castle is fuming, it's a cold burn, he will not yell or rant, but if they think they can show up at his door unannounced after … well. They will be learning a thing or two. The audacity to think they can waltz right in uninvited after he's made it clear there is nothing to talk about beyond police work and this is most definitely not about a case otherwise he would have been called to a crime scene.
They will learn that there is such a thing as manners and etiquette or least a hint of respect. The steam is coming out his ears by the time he answers the door. He takes a deep breath and then another before he opens the door.
He does not sweep the door open, nor does he invite them in. Instead he opens the door while stepping into the opening at the same time. Easily filling the doorway and making it clear there is a line drawn in the sand.
"Captain Gates, I was expecting a call I must ASSUME you were in the area." The silent message is clear how dare you show up at my home without calling. I do not work for you. Remember I have friends.
"Mr. Castle, First we both know I was not in the area. I do apologize, but I felt it best we talk in person rather than wait till Monday morning as we had scheduled."
"Captain as you have no doubt figured out there has been a change to my schedule. I was still coming to your office at 8:30 on Monday however since you are here we may as well talk now. You know where my office is, yes. I will be right in." He steps aside to allow Captain Gates to enter.
The others start to follow, before they can enter Castle's blocks the doorway yet again. "If it's not clear I invited your Captain to come in as we have a matter to discuss. When I am finished I will deal with you, in the mean time you can wait or leave I do not care." The tone of his voice was sharp with a finally tuned edge. It is far more effective then yelling. He closes the door.
The unadulterated anger bordering on rage is not lost on his "friends" the eyes that are normally full of life and mischief are dark, stone cold and brooding. It's not a look they have seen before. Lanie realized the decision to confront Castle unannounced was probably going to backfire on them.
"Captain Gates. I'm sure you knew when I requested the meeting what it was about."
"Mr. Castle I did, but was hoping to change your mind. I came here today hoping to get you to reconsider. I felt it was appropriate that we talk on your turf. Hoping that it would show you my sincerity in asking you to continue working with Detective Beckett and her team. I assure you I had no idea they would be here. They arrived in the lobby just a few minutes after I did. I brought them with me to avoid an embarrassing scene. Is there any chance I can persuade you to reconsider?"
"Captain you've not wanted in the Precinct since you took over. While I don't doubt your sincerity I do question why the sudden change. As for Detective Beckett and her team I know them well enough to know that they would likely show up without warning. I expected it would happen and removed them from the visitor list."
"May I ask why?"
"Captain as much as I will end up regretting this they came here looking for a fight … a verbal one, but a fight none the less. I had hoped to avoid this as I do respect all of you for the fine police officers that you are. Ninety percent, no ninety nine percent of why is personal between myself and the team that I thought were my friends. Only a very small part is professional."
"I suspected as much, but you knew that."
"Captain the timing of this is simply not good, I don't have time to explain the part you need to know and then duplicate it with them. They will hear me out on my terms or not at all. Please follow me."
Castle walks back to the front door as soon as he opens the door. He glares at all of them except Jenny who he gives a genuine and heartfelt smile. They all try to talk and are stopped by his glare … "You all should know better than to act like this. Here's my offer it is not negotiable. If you choose to come in you will do so under the following conditions. You will go to the living room sit down and do not say a word until I address you. You have ten seconds to decide. If not kindly close the door and have a good afternoon."
Castle turns and walks back into his apartment and into his study, disappearing into his bedroom. He pulls his phone and calls Alexis who is in her room. "Dad?"
"Alexis, sorry pumpkin. Beckett and everyone just showed up. I hate to ask, but please stay in your room for now. If you need anything from the kitchen just text me I will bring it to you."
"Okay, I'm sorry they are acting this way."
"Me too pumpkin."
Castle walks out of his office heading to the living room. Then changes direction going to the kitchen without a word Captain Gate follows him as she was not instructed to sit down and shut up.
Gates is amazed at his control she can see the stress, the pulsing veins that show just how angry he is. She still has no idea what the real issue is, but she knows enough to know that it clearly is the relationship with Detective Beckett. What surprises her is she thought it would be Castle that caused such a riff.
When she realizes Castle is getting drinks and snacks for the others she just shakes her head class is not about wealth it is about respect and manners … quietly "Can I help?"
"Captain I appreciate the offer, but it's my home and I was taught early in life to be a gracious host." There is no venom to what he says, it's strained a bit, but not remotely ugly. She chooses to respect the man.
"Okay, I don't know what this is, but you are a good man." Coming from Captain Gates that is high praise.
Castle carries the drinks over to the coffee table and then grabs the snacks. Doing it alone was purposeful … silent statement … "My home." He then speaks out loud … "Please help yourselves, then I have a few things to say."
"You chose to come to my home for your showdown.
If you really want to do this here are the conditions. First you stay in your seat. You get up to leave only, so if you need a restroom please go now. There will be no yelling again you violate that you leave. When anyone is speaking no one interrupts.
I see you have a murder board with something laid out on it. Choose someone to present YOUR FACTS to me and then I will address what I feel is appropriate.
Before we get into that there is one matter that does concern Captain Gates. I will discuss that and then once that is said I believe the Captain will be leaving. She is free to stay if she wants and all of you agree, but anything I have to say beyond the wall of silence issue is going to be VERY PERSONAL"
No one misses that his eyes flare at Beckett, Esposito, Ryan and Lanie in that order. Apparently it's not just Kate that messed up. "I think I will give you a few minutes to think about that." \
He quickly heads to his office and makes a call … "Hi Gina, something's come up can you change the pickup to 7:30 and have something to eat for me. Cancel dinner I will head straight there. Actually have the car downstairs by 5:00 I may be ready to leave earlier, but will not need dinner reservations if I do. Thanks." He knows that Gina already understands enough, she has prepared the press releases that will be sent out on Monday and in the days to come.
Castle walks back out to the living room, hoping they would have listened and understood they were pushing … the same thing that makes them great detectives does not allow them to back down.
"Since you are all still here I have two questions. First does anyone disagree with my conditions? Second who is going to present your "case" after I address the issue that concerns Captain Gates?"
Javi barks their answer. "We do not like the conditions, but this has to end. I will lay this out from our side."
That Javi will be the one to speak is not surprising. He is the most protective of Beckett. No one heard the door open quietly or Alexis's silent approach to the top of the stairs. She is furious that her dad's friends and especially Detective Beckett have dared to show up like this. She will deal with any consequences later.
"Captain Gates and everyone the only issue that directly concerns the precinct at this time is the wall of silence.
Do I understand that it is there? Of course I do.
However, in this case it is unwarranted and beneath the fine officers of the 12th. Apparently rumors, speculation and perhaps lies have fueled the flames and over the last two weeks. I have come to realize that due to the wall of silence and for personal reasons I can no longer be of use to your Precinct.
Had I done something to warrant the silence I would apologize and hope that bad feelings could be overcome unfortunately I was tried and convicted on those rumors. It affects the ability of the team to work on cases going forward.
Yesterday was my last day as a consultant to the NYPD. It was indeed a pleasure.
On a personal note Captain you came into the Precinct under the most difficult circumstances, you have been fair and I am confident that Roy Montgomery would thank you for taking care of his detectives and officers.
I want you to know that I am grateful that you are there to lead and care for them. Do you have any questions?"
"Mr. Castle, thank you.
I had hoped that the wall would not cause this. I've heard the rumors and apologize to you for some of the things that I know have been said.
Yes, I know you have heard them as well. I will be addressing the way you were treated I had hoped to be doing so with you still part of the team.
I've not said it enough Thank You for all you have done. Before I leave I need to ask Detectives Beckett, Ryan, and Esposito if I should stay or go. If I stay everything is off the record and will never be mentioned outside of this room. So Detectives?"
Castle speaks before they can say anything … "Excuse me Captain. Beckett, Esposito and Ryan, I suggest you join me in my office. It will take just a few minutes."
He turns and strides purposely to his office. The three detectives quickly follow. He closes the door as soon as they are inside. He doesn't give them time to say a word … "Hear me out. Gates just offered to keep everything off the record, all of us know if she gives her word she will keep it. I've already scanned your board and there is a lot missing. Let me make it clear if we continue this discussion nothing is off limits from the day we first met. I will be in the living room."
The three long time partners are taken back. They came prepared to talk about the tiny window of time and what possibly happened to upset Castle. Beckett steps back out … "Castle, Rick, please come back?"
Castle walks back in … "Go ahead."
"Rick,…"
"Castle or Mr. Castle, we all know I'm not Rick to you." It's cold and dismissive. As well as being the first hint at just how hurt and bitter Castle is. "Umm Castle are you trying to say that there is something about my mother's case about Roy?"
Castle says … "What I'm saying is if we are putting up a story board about what happened then the whole story is on the table. The finale or end may have taken place inside your timeline, but it's not the whole story."
He turns and heads back out to the living room, continues down the hall to a storage room. When he returns he has three big white "story boards" from when he used them to do his book outlines. The others are a bit surprised as he's a techie.
"I've got to grab a shower I do have plans this evening. Put your timeline on the last board. Beckett come with me … NOW."
He doesn't wait for an answer as he heads to his office, but Beckett knows he's not stopping there. He's going to his room and then a shower. He's got something to say … but? She looks at Lanie who gives her the eye … "Go don't blow it." Is the message Lanie conveys to her friend.
"Castle?" softly escapses from Kate as she steps inside his room for the first time. It was not the way she had thought it would happen and far from the way Rick had dreamed.
"Beckett, listen and hear me. I do not want to do this. I am trying to figure out why you even care." He's not yelling it's just a deep wounded growl.
She looks at him with a completely blank expression that turns to both hurt and anger … she's very confused. "Rick?" she whispers trying to appeal to the kind loving man she knows he is and the man who is her one and done.
It almost works … "Kate, Beckett stop I'm through playing if you care at all show me some respect. I'm not immune to your flirtation, but using it against me … so help me."
Her eyes fill with tears she fights hard to hold them back. "Castle?"
"Beckett, you have a decision to make actually two … do you want the Captain to go? Do you want YOUR friends to stay? Think about it. Stay here or in my office if you need to talk to Lanie do so. I will be back in ten minutes." He turns and starts pulling off his clothes.
Beckett doesn't move as she watches him pull off his shirt he catches her watching in the mirror. He continues and she breaks away when she realizes he's not closing the door and is about to be naked. She wants to see, but not like this. She quickly heads to get Lanie … instead she ends up with Lanie, Jenny and Gates. They go to the kitchen.
"Detective, if you want me to go I will if I stay I'm Vicki. Before you say anything Mr. Castle's work has earned him a home at the 12th for as long as I am there if he wants it.
Yes there would be some ummm PDA restrictions and safety concerns, but he's earned a spot.
Of course the letter Roy sent me helped too, yes I knew Roy very well and he sent a letter apparently he expected to die. Told me I was getting a good team and that Mr. Castle was a big help. How he knew I would get the 12th I do not know.
I am sure that is not what you expected. I'll be over helping Kevin and Javi let me know what you decide."
"Lanie I still don't know what happened. Castle, Rick is deeply hurt and angry and it's not just me. Most of it is, but not all … I think you all should just go … I'll get him to tell me, yell, whatever … if I have to I will yell until he does."
"No Detective Beckett." The entrance of Alexis was unexpected and the firm controlled tone more effective then yelling. "You may ask, but you cannot yell, trust me you do and you will regret it." They always underestimate Alexis Castle. This time they are not sure if Beckett should fear Rick or Alexis the most.
Kate, Lanie and Jenny watch with their jaws on the floor as Alexis walks over to the board. She's scanning the information Kate and Lanie notice very similar mannerisms to Castle.
Lanie speaks up … "Kate you need to talk to him, but all of us need to know what part we played in this. He's leaving unless we can fix this. If you want to be alone ask him for that and then he needs to tell us or us and then alone. Now go."
Kate walks back into Rick's bedroom. It's everything she thought it would be and more. She hears the water shut off and the door open. He walks out and for a second she thinks he's naked then realizes he has a pair of gym shorts on … still she inhales sharply. She doesn't turn away.
Rick walks into the large walk in closet if a room can be called a closet that is. He pauses and is lost in thought before he takes a soft blue button down shirt off a hanger he walks over to Kate … "Are you wearing a bra?" … "Huh?"
"Simple yes or no … a bra?"
"Yes, why?"
"Here go put this on."
She looks at him, starts to object then realizes there is something very important to him. She doesn't know why it is, but she walks into the bathroom and pulls off her burgundy turtleneck. She looks to the mirror, but Rick isn't watching. She's disappointed yet not surprised.
Rick has proven time and again that he is a gentleman not a playboy like she thought like the finely crafted image. Beckett slips into his extra-large shirt which swamps her petite frame … she rolls up the sleeves. She starts to button up the front only does the middle three and turns … "Rick" it's a statement I'm here.
Rick walks over to her. "Kate, do you trust me?" … "Yes" it's soft but she means it, she's unsure what he is thinking.
"Kate look at me. If we have this conversation it's going to be bloody. I will take my lumps and I accept that. But there is one thing you have to know before any of that happens."
"Rick we can't go on like this, what is it that you want me to know."
He gently reaches up and undoes the buttons of the shirt he opens it enough to expose her scar underneath. His eyes tell her what he wants her to know, that the scars don't change how he feels. That they don't make her ugly or damaged, they just make her alive. He then reaches up and very lightly traces the scar he wants her to know not to fear being touched.
He then takes her into a gentle hug. "Kate, I've meant everything I have ever said to you about how I feel. I mean this more than life itself. I want you to promise me you will live that you won't settle or hide in your bad relationships with men you don't love, find your one and done. Now go put your shirt back on and let me get dressed."
She realizes that despite all his pain and anger he needed her to know and that by using his shirt it allowed her some modesty while allowing him to show her with his eyes and touch that he meant every word. The flood of emotion of the gentleness of his soul is overwhelming.
She starts to leave … "Rick can I stay?" … her voice was pleading, but she knew the answer before she asked.
"No Kate the time for that … well it probably never was … I know it's not now." The timber of his voice the painful trembles tell her how much that hurts him to say and how sorry he is.
Kate is back in the living room. A few tears softly fall. Alexis who was raised with impeccable manners quickly brings tissues. She then goes to the hallway and gets a couple of more boxes, she may be angry, but she knows that everyone is probably going to shed a few tears. Her dad and Javier Esposito will probably match Kate Beckett. Esposito is very protective of Beckett and he's a lot more emotional than his tough guy image.
Alexis feels bad for Jenny of all the people in the loft Jenny is the innocent one. "Jenny can I talk to you for a minute please?" … Jenny's nervous, but nods her head and they go to the kitchen.
"Jenny, my dad will probably say this, I'm sorry you have to see this. He may ban me to my room or send me on to the Children's Hospital Benefit we are attending tonight. I wanted you to know now that in time he will forgive everyone. I hope in time all of you can forgive him as well." A quick hug and Alexis heads to her dad's office. She gets there right as he walks out of his room. He is wearing his tuxedo pants and shirt on … the coat and tie he lays across the sofa he will get them when he leaves.
"Dad … no I'm part of this too." She beats him to the punch.
"Okay pumpkin, but the same rules apply to you. When someone talks everyone else listens. You have to sit down just as they do." They walk out to the living room.
While Alexis and Rick were talking and sharing a hug …
Kate's eyes told Lanie she needed her as soon as she stepped out of Rick's office. Lanie was on her feet and took Kate into her arms in a hug that provided privacy and a loving embrace at the same time.The big sister Kate never had. "Lanie he wanted to show me my scars don't make me ugly, how did he know that I thought they do? He had me show him I wasn't scared or embarrassed he touched it and let me know that's okay too." …
"Kate that man, that man is so damn wonderful. Hhe loves you unconditionally, but that doesn't mean you will have the happy ending with him. It does mean he wants you to be happy. I think we might be about to find out just how much that means to him."
"How do you know that?"
"Kate, honey open your eyes hear him and open your heart if not for yourself for your mom, for Rick."… "We're all gonna hurt when this is done, hurting doesn't mean we aren't loved it means mistakes were made. It means we are human, just know you are loved don't forget don't hide."
Castle and his daughter join the others. Victoria Gates is still in the room.
Castle looks at the Captain then to Kate Beckett … Beckett says … "She should hear this. If she wants me out of the 12th I will accept that." … this is the first of the loud bombs to go off.
"Captain Gates, I'm sure you meant what you said, but I will ask for your word one more time.
Everything we discuss is off the record. I don't say this as a warning simply a promise to each and everyone here if any of this leaves this room my attorneys will make your life miserable and yes I do know a guy or two.
Actually everyone needs to agree this is between us, I will share what is appropriate with my mother though she probably knows most of this already. Anyone have a problem with that?"
Captain Gates … "I give all of you my word. I do need to ask that you call me Vicki. I have no idea what I am about to hear just think it should be as a friend and not your Captain. Fair enough?"
Castle "Vicki, Thank You."
Castle takes a quick look at his watch … damn there's no way he can cover the things that he needs to cover and get to the Children's Hospital Benefit that starts at eight. "Excuse me one minute."
He pulls his phone out … "Gina this situation is taking longer. I have to be there as well see if you can get them to move me either to the start or later … let me know."
"Okay, time is running and I do have to attend the Children's Hospital Benefit tonight.
I may have to leave and then come back. Gina will let me know in a few minutes.
Before we get started I take no pleasure in what is about to happen. I certainly share some of the blame and possibly a lot of it. In time I hope to understand and learn from this.
Yes, I am angry at everyone in this room except Jenny and Alexis. Jenny you are an innocent bystander in this I will say things that will no doubt cause you a lot of pain and for that I can only offer my sincere apology.
I did not choose to take a stand today. I wanted to give all of us the benefit of time, nature's way of healing painful emotions before I contacted each one of you.
No doubt your first question is why didn't I just say so … simple really the damn wall of blue. By the time I arrived the morning after the bombing case the stone wall was already up.
Detective Ryan and Detective Esposito you told me early on never hurt Detective Kate Beckett or else. The looks you gave me when I walked in that morning told me I had been tried and convicted in abstention at that point there was no point in offering an explanation YOU DID NOT CARE ENOUGH TO ASK LET ALONE HEAR ONE."
The last words were said with added emphasis … he paused … "Esposito you have the floor, I do remind everyone of the conditions break them and you are gone."
Castle's hard cold edge was back and the slight hint of happiness was no longer visible. Javier Esposito saw a side of Castle that he remembers seeing only when Kate's life was threatened by Lockwood barely controlled rage.
Castle glanced at his watch again … 6:22 … he had to change how they would talk this out.
"Castle, Thank You, for hearing us out. I am angry you have hurt Kate and it's all I can do not to tear you limb from limb. While I have the skills I … well I hope you understand." Esposito then went on to explain the timeline that they had constructed. He finished off with "Any questions can you fill us in?"
Castle stood up and walked to the board. A wry smile … "Well at least you focused in on the end point. Your timeline is way off. I'm not playing games, but I am not going to just give you the answer you want. It's never that simple or easy … all of you know that. Hang on I think its Gina." He pulls his phone out.
"Hi Gina … okay thanks."
"Well the options were not great. Gina just called in a huge favor and my time to speak at the Benefit was moved up. I will have to leave in an hour. I should stay, but my commitment to Children's Hospital is my word. I can be back by 9:00 at the latest possibly a little bit earlier. Alexis you need to get ready."
"Dad I think I will stay home if you are just giving your speech and coming back." Castle just nods in agreement. The he addresses everyone.
"Let me look at the board again and while I do that think about what you want for dinner. I am assuming that no one wants to table this until tomorrow." A brief pause as he looks at everyone. "I didn't think so. Vicki this may be a long night you may want to call your husband or the Precinct."
Castle takes a minute and then walks to his office. He closes the door and then pulls up his smart screen. He opens up the control panel and sets the secondary output to the large flat panel in the living room. Taking the handheld control for the smart screen with him he goes back to the living room. He's debating when to talk about the secret that will be the final blow.
"Sorry everyone I should have done this earlier. Okay before I address the timeline and answer the questions that will fill in what happened I need to ask each of you a few important questions."
"Is there a difference in a secret and a lie?" … everyone agrees there is though a secret can also be a lie.
"If a secret would be painful to someone is it okay to keep it from them if their knowing was potentially worse than the pain of it being kept from them? Is it okay to keep a secret even though you know that it will make someone angry?" … they agree there are times a secret needs to be kept to protect someone even though the person would be angry if they knew the secret.
"Each of you needs to answer this question. Vicki I will start with you. You have a choice tell the person you love the secret and they will be in grave danger or keep it from them and they are safe from the danger. Which do you choose?"
"Rick of course you keep them safe, but you would hate yourself for doing so."
For those who knew about Captain Montgomery's involvement in the kidnapping of mobsters, they jumped to the conclusion that Castle's questions related to that. The assumption was close.
Castle had no problem reading Beckett's eyes … "We promised to keep it between us." She could read his thought … "It's not just Roy." The pain flashed. She understood there was something about her mom's case.
Everyone including Beckett agreed you keep your loved one safe if telling them puts them in harm's way. Beckett was biting her lip and pondering the reference to a lie. Castle did not elaborate further. Instead he turned to the timeline constructed by the team/friends/family.
"I will get back to that in a moment. Now let's look at this timeline again. I could answer the burning question, but it will not tell the whole story. I can tell you that within your timeline you have not asked each other the right questions.
If I tell you what happened it will be quick, but not sure it won't be more painful than. If you answer it yourselves by asking the right questions it may lessen the blwo. I can answer some questions when I get back. Keep in mind that if I give you the answer right now I have made a promise to the auction for Children's Hospital and I will keep the promise I leave in thirty minutes."
Beckett speaks up … "We'll work on it. Rick, umm Castle should we wait until you are back to figure it out?"
"Kate I have never lied to you and won't. You do know what you did. It will hurt I never want to see that. But yes I guess I should be here when you figure it out. Ryan, Espo, I need a promise from you … Kate you won't like this I need one from you as well."
"Come with me … damn I wish you all had shown up tomorrow." The three friends follow Castle to his office. Castle closes the doors. "Guys whatever happens in the next five minutes promise me you will not let Kate leave. Kate you must promise me you will not leave until we finish all of this. I have to leave, but I will be back. Agreed?" All three answer yes, Kate did add one comment.
"Rick your scaring me."
"Kate I'm sorry and it will hurt. You will hate me.
I had a choice keep the worst secret imaginable or keep you alive." Rick reaches over and turns off the screen saver for the smart panel.
It takes about ten seconds for it to register … "You bastard!"
"Yes, I am figuratively and literally.
There is little here that you don't know.
Now this right here is why I had no choice.
I knew that doing this would likely end any chance of Always … at least in anything beyond friends and I doubt you consider me a friend any longer. I now understand that was all we would ever be. It does not matter when it comes to this secret.
I would do it every day one hundred times a day if it keeps you alive.
Right after we talked to the fire investigator I received a call from "Mr. Smith" I doubt that's his name of course.
He said if I kept you from digging further you live, if not you would die.
The track record in this case is clear killing is not an issue. This man "Smith" was a friend of Roy's and he received a package from Roy whatever Roy sent him is insurance … not enough to actually get him charged with a crime, but enough to buy life insurance with."
"Kate just go ahead shoot me. No I'm not joking, because as long as I live so help me if you go digging …"
"Rick we have nothing to talk about."
"Espo … Ryan … if she still feels that way when I get back then leave, but keep her here until I return."
"Kate I get that I was never your one and done, but you said I was your partner. Partners have each other's back.
I also promised your father and Roy that I would do my best to protect you. I am keeping the promise.
I just can't do it alone … that's why Bob Weldon was framed to make sure he kept me at the 12th. I can no longer do that and stay sane, but as long as you stay away then I believe Smith can keep you safe.
If whoever this "dragon" is won't let me leave the 12th … you may have to quit and go underground I have the means to make that happen for you and your dad. Choose life Kate."
Castle picked up his tux jacket and bow tie before walking out leaving the three partners to think about what he said. He knew that Kate Beckett had a lot to say she was just in shock and the anger would come soon enough.
"Alexis order whatever everyone wants for dinner. Make sure there are enough snacks and drinks for a long night. Lanie, can I talk to you please?"
Lanie walks over and Castle takes her into the rarely used dining room. "Lanie we do need to get this over with. Kate probably hates me. It may be for the best.
If you all leave before I return all I ask is one day let her know that I truly did love her. I know that my dream for us was not hers. I will eventually accept that as best I can." The deep sense of loss was painfully loud despite the few barely spoken words.
"Castle … "
"Lanie no need to say more. I know that all of you will be lost to me I made the only choice. The deadly secret that would destroy what I dreamed for." Castle turns and heads back to the living room Kate, Espo and Ryan are back.
Ryan has sat back down by Jenny and is hugging her tightly. The three detectives have red eyes and raw emotions. Javi leans over to Castle and whispers … "We'll stay till you get back." As he pulls back the look in his eyes tells Castle, "Thank you for making the right choice. I know what it cost you."
"Everyone I have to go I will return as soon as I can. While I am gone fill in as many points along the way from the first time I met you up until the bombing.
Vicki Gates … "Castle a word before you go?" … Castle nods and follows him out the door. "You've been protecting her from whoever wants her dead." It wasn't a question.
"Yes."
"You should have told me."
"Vicki you were IAB." Another statement with a message … it silently says that corrupt police are behind Beckett's shooting.
"They know that I will fill you in when I return. They don't like it especially Kate. Hell I don't like it, but it's time. I am leaving and there need to be others who can help keep Beckett safe. I really do have to run. I will be back by nine."
Gates goes back inside the loft as Castle steps on the elevator.
Taking control so there is not too much time spent worrying … "Okay people let's get food ordered and then fill in this timeline."
Despite all the talking the silence is deafening. Everyone in the room knows they have only just begun. What they don't know is the turn that awaits when Castle arrives at the Benefit. The timing of the arrival leads to an ominous change in Castle's mood.
It started when Castle literally bumped into Dr. Josh Davidson – on the risk of being accurate it was Josh who nearly steam rolled Castle it wasn't intentional, but no apology was offered by Josh. Castle of course offered a sincere apology "Hey Josh sorry about" while Josh just stormed off. It was awkward to say the least. The last time Castle had seen the doctor was when Davidson was sitting with Kate while she lay in her hospital bed.
Within five minutes he would also see Agent Will Sorenson and Detective Tom Demming. The memories come pouring in and pushed Castle to the brink. Castle was on a short fuse by the time he returned to his loft. The tension was simmering. Then again Kate Beckett had been steaming on the secret for nearly two hours. One or both need to give, but how likely is that after all they have been through?