**Again I own nothing of SOA. Only Cambrie, her dad John, Miss Mae and baby Sofia. I hope you like this chapter, trying to move forward smoothly. Now I'm sure you noticed by now I am not really following the events of the tv show. I hope you don't mind. Much love to you all , thanks again for all of your support**
Ch 12. Here She Comes
Things have been pretty uneventful since I have been back in Washington. I was ready to meet my baby girl Sofia but she was being stubborn. She was two days past her arrival date. The doctor said that if she didn't arrive on her own by the end of the week he would induce me on Friday. Well it's already Monday and I don't think I can wait that long. It's been really hot which doesn't help my moods.
I have everything ready, the diaper bag, her car seat in my car, I turned a corner of my bedroom into a mini nursery since she would be in my room for the first few months.
On the drive home my dad and I had a nice long talk. He told me about the cancer and that he was undergoing new treatment that was working to shrink his tumors but made him really tired. He was starting to feel better but it scares the hell out of me. I don't want to lose my dad. He means the world to me.
My dad had a doctors appointment the same day I was told that I could be induced in a few days. He asked me to go with him to listen to what the doctor had to say. Things were really looking great for my dad. He had four more treatments then they would re-evaluate again.
I couldn't be more pleased. My life was great. I couldn't ask for a better father and family. And it was about to get better…..
2am Thurs morning.
I woke up to pee again for probably the fourth time tonight. I stood up to get out of bed and felt a gush of lukewarm liquid run down my leg.
"Oh shit" I cried.
"Baby, are you ok? What's the matter?" Opie asked still half asleep.
"Um, I thought I had to pee again but I think my water just broke".
"Holy shit! Opie yelled, jumping up to get dressed. He grabbed the diaper bag and my bag and ran to put them in the car.
I just stood there in a kind of shock. I wasn't sure what to do. So many thoughts were running through my head.
"Babe, call my dad and aunt Gemma so they can meet us there". I told him.
Aunt Gemma had come up so she could be with us and help us out when Sofia decided to grace us with her presence.
"Cam baby, I already did, I'm one step ahead of you" Opie said frantically.
"Baby, come on we need to get you to the hospital" Opie said while helping me change into a pair of shorts and a tee shirt.
I slipped on some flip flops and started for the door, then BAM.. There it was. My first hard contraction. I sat down on the couch.
"Hold on a minute. I have to sit. I think we are supposed to time my contractions" I told him trying not to sound panicked.
I wouldn't get up from the couch until we had timed some of my contractions. They didn't hurt too bad, they were uncomfortable but not too painful. I sat there for about thirty minutes. Opie called the hospital when they were three minutes apart. So they would be ready for us when we arrived.
The closer we got to the hospital the harder and quicker they seemed to come. I was trying to breath like we were taught but I kept wanting to hold my breath.
When we got to the hospital dad, aunt Gemma, uncle Clay and Jax were waiting for us. They all looked tired and Jax still looked a little drunk.
"About time, did you stop for dinner"? aunt Gemma said sarcastically.
"I wanted to make sure it wasn't a false alarm" I told her trying not to cry.
"Oh baby, I'm sorry. Just tired and bitchy. You know how I get when I don't get enough sleep" aunt Gemma said while giving me a squeeze.
"Yea Ma I think we all know how you get". Jax said with a big grin on his face.
"Oh shut it Jackson" aunt Gemma said giving him the death glare.
It was eight thirty am when Sofia Mae Winston made her arrival. After four and a half hours of pushing she got stuck and the doctors realized she was really big, too big for me to deliver naturally so they rushed us in for a C-section. I was terrified but it really wasn't too bad. I was just relieved to be finished pushing. I was tired.
She was 9 lbs 10.4 oz and 20.5 inches long. A gorgeous little butterball.
Opie stayed so calm through all of it. He was my rock. When they took her out and cleaned her up he was right there. I looked over at him and he was crying. Sofia had his heart. I think we both knew we would never be the same.
By the time they got me cleaned and sewed up and then back to my room, the birthing unit was full of Sons. I didn't want to let go of her. Aunt Gemma and Ronnie were snapping pictures of our new little family. All the big bad tough bikers were melting. I swear I actually saw Koz get teary eyed. He would never admit it. I had noticed that Happy wasn't there.
I asked Koz where he was and he told me he was out on club business.
Which I knew I couldn't ask anymore. I knew he would be by to see Sofia as soon as he could.
Sofia started to cry so it was time for me to feed her. Everyone but aunt Gemma and Opie left my room to give us some privacy so we could try to breast feed.
When she had been fed the nurse came in and made Opie give Sofia her first bath and showed him how to change a diaper. Since I wasn't able to move too fast I was going to need some help. Aunt Gemma planned on staying at the house with us for at least a week after we got home. We went home when Sofia was three days old. I had insisted that my dad stay at the house too. I wanted my family with me. The first couple of days being home were pretty hectic and tiring but I wouldn't change them for anything. Sofia was a good sleeper from the start. She would sleep for four hours at a time, eat, burp and get changed and go back to sleep. Aunt Gemma kept saying that we were really lucky and if she stayed on that pattern we would be extremely lucky.
I felt so blessed. I was ahead in my schooling, I had a wonderful family and things with the club seemed to be quiet. For now.
Sofia was a week old the first time Happy saw her. She was getting really fussy when he walked in. I didn't see him come in but I heard his deep raspy voice that would scare most children.
"She already sounds like you. Giving orders and yelling when she doesn't get her way".
I looked up and smiled. "Nice to see you too Hap." I giggled. I realized Sofia quit fussing. She was staring at Happy.
"Hey brother". Opie said as he walked through the living room. "Good to see your back".
Opie took Sofia from me and handed her off to Happy. I didn't think he would be comfortable but he was and she just kept staring at him.
"Hi beautiful girl" Happy said to Sofia.
She just cooed and gurgled at him. Opie looked so proud.
"Isn't she the cutes baby you've ever seen?" Opie stated.
"Brother, you are a lucky man for sure" Happy told him.
Aunt Gemma stayed for a little over a week then she and uncle Clay and Jax headed back to Charming. She had tons of pictures to show everyone. I don't think the camera left her hand the whole time she was here.
Opie had been working at the shop in Tacoma, the transition went pretty smooth. He seemed to get along with everyone.
I decided to take all online classes in the Fall. I couldn't imagine leaving Sofia with anyone. Opie was fine with me doing all online courses. I thought for sure he would try to make me move back to Charming because the only reason he moved to Washington was because I had school and didn't want to switch, but I think all of the drama in Charming wasn't something Opie missed, though he did miss his dad and the rest of the SOA family.
Autumn (November)
I was keeping busy being a mom, old lady, school and I worked as an emt two nights a week and it was all working out pretty good. Things were pretty calm in Tacoma, if there was something going on the nights I worked the club was really good about keeping Opie out of it at first. If it wasn't possible Ronnie would keep Sofia for us which seemed to be happening a lot more. Opie worked at the shop during the day and lately there were nights Opie didn't get home until three or four in the morning. I knew it was part of the life but it worried me. I thought about quitting my job but Ronnie knew how important my job was to me so she would step up and help us out. I loved helping people and the rush of going to the unknown, there were many downsides to being an E.M.T but I kept telling myself that I couldn't let what I can't control get me down. Some days were harder than others.
Opie was a good dad, when he wasn't busy for the club his time was spent with Sofia, which I adored but I was starting to miss my Opie time. I knew he was trying, it was all new to both of us.
Sofia was growing so fast, she was such a happy baby. Everyone was so attached to her, especially Koz and Happy, though Happy didn't get all goofy like Koz did. He didn't speak the baby talk. Koz doesn't care if he looks like an idiot when it comes to Sofia, he makes her laugh. Happy soothes her, his deep raspy voice calms her and she will just stare at Happy and smile, when he talks low and smooth she falls asleep with a smile on her face. I believe she remembers their voices from when I was pregnant. She is a daddy's girl and the apple of her uncles eyes for sure.
We spent Thanksgiving in Tacoma aunt Gemma wasn't thrilled about it, she missed us and she was missing out of Sofia's first Thanksgiving but we were going to be in Charming for Christmas and New Years, I would be done with school earlier than what I had originally planned. I would receive my grades right before Christmas, I had my degree in accounting and social services. I was ecstatic. Opie was too, this meant we would be moving back to Charming early. We were so happy so we thought what a better time to get married than New Years Eve. We would be with everyone in Charming, dad had planned on coming with us and most of the guys from Tacoma said they would be there. Even Tara said she would make it, she was going to be my maid of honor.
Great things were happening.
Ch 13. Say It Isn't So
Sofia's 1st Christmas
We made it to Charming and were staying with aunt Gemma and uncle Clay. I loved having them and my dad around me. I felt like my family was almost complete. I intensity of missing my mom was always stronger around the holidays.
Sofia was getting spoiled rotten, aunt Gemma just couldn't contain herself. The Christmas tree looked like it threw up presents, most were for Sofia.
Aunt Gemma and I had been looking at houses to rent so Opie and I could move back, I wasn't going to sell my house in Tacoma, Happy and Koz were going to rent it from me. I owned it outright so I wasn't going to ask for much rent from them, it didn't seem right.
I had talked to Charmings Fire Dept about an EMT job, they had an opening for four days a week. Aunt Gemma said she would help out with Sofia so I could be at home at night with her.
All I had to do was get the fire department my credentials and certifications and a referral letter from my current boss. As long as they had the paperwork by Jan 10th I could start Feb 1st. Things couldn't be working out better, I had time to go back to Tacoma, pack up and get moved and settled in to our new place.
Our wedding was going to happen on New Years Eve at the Gazebo in the park. It would be chilly out but I didn't care, it would be beautiful with all the twinkling lights and clear night sky. I was so excited.
Tara flew in on Christmas eve, she decided to stay at her dads house but she was at aunt Gemmas first thing Christmas morning. I woke up at the as crack of dawn and got the coffee going.
Opening presents was crazy, there were so many of them. Everyone was laughing and joking. Tara and Jax were finally back to being true friends. As we were opening presents, Opie handed me one that didn't have any names on it.
Happy sent it down with him from Tacoma. It was the new camera I wanted but didn't want to spend the money on it.
I was so excited. I called him right away to tell him thank you then I started snapping pictures non stop.
One of favorites of Opie and Sofia, he was talking to her and she was looking up at him smiling with her little hand touching his face.
I just sat back and watched my family. I could literally feel my heart swelling with so much love. I couldn't imagine my life getting any better than this.
I was sitting next to my dad while he held Sofia when I saw Jax pick up my new camera. He took a picture of Sofia, dad and me. I hadn't really realized until then that I hadn't taken enough pictures. I had a bunch of Sofia just not any of them with me in them or of everyone else.
I figured out how to work the timer so I made everyone squeeze in and take a family shot. Sofia was cracking up and we were all laughing with her.
New Years Eve
I woke up and Opie was already gone. I could hear Sofia cooing in her bed so I picked her up and started nursing her. I carried Sofia downstairs and I could smell aunt Gemma's great cooking. She made all my breakfast favorites.
"Morning baby girl" aunt Gemma said.
"Mornin'" I responded as I handed Sofia over to her. I sat down across from aunt Gemma.
"you know you didn't have to do all this. You have already done so much for us already" I told her.
Aunt Gemma gave me her "don't mess with me" look. "I wanted to, it's a special day, so deal with it" she scolded me..
I just laughed, "yes mam" I responded.
Opie was with all the guys getting things set up at the Gazebo, getting the clubhouse spotless and deodorized.
There were to be no crow eaters or sweet butts until after midnight.
Opie and Jax came into the house around ten a.m.
"I hope you boys are getting your stuff taken care for tonight" aunt Gemma said with a warning tone in her voice.
"don't worry Ma, everything will be fine, it's getting taken care of as we speak, that's what prospects are for ya know" Jax snickered.
"good, glad to hear it" aunt Gemma said.
I looked over at Opie, he was playing with Sofia. Again she was grinning up at him while she had her hand over his mouth and he was kissing it. So I grabbed my new camera and started snapping pictures.
It was time for the guys to leave and tie up any loose ends that needed to be done before the wedding.
Tara came over to help me get ready. Everything went by so fast. I could feel my heart nearly beating out of my chest.
Aunt Gemma brought Sofia in for one last look over, we were wearing matching dresses. She looked adorable. We had white satin dressed with white long sleeved velvet jackets with white fur trim. Tara had on a similar dress but shorter and in an ice blue color.
As we pulled up I could see everyone lining up around the gazebo. I could see chief Unser and uncle Clay talking, I liked the chief, he was always so sweet and he was a good friend of the clubs.
I saw David Hale and his date Donna, apparently they have been off and on since high school. David was a good guy, he just had different views of how things should work.
I sat in the car with my dad, Sofia, Tara and aunt Gemma. It was almost six o'clock, I was getting so excited but I didn't see Opie anywhere. I heard Jax pull up next to us. He motioned for aunt Gemma so she got out to talk to him. I started getting a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach.
I looked over just in time to see uncle Clay, aunt Gemma, Piney,Jax and Chief Unser come walking to the car. Aunt Gemma and Piney looked upset.
I jumped out of the car.
"Where is he?" I asked trying to fight back tears. I knew there was something wrong.
"Sweetheart, calm down he's ok" uncle Clay told me.
Piney looked pissed.
Aunt Gemma put her arm around me while Jax and Chief Unser tried to explain to me that Opie and Kyle Hobart had gone to take care of some business for the club and a fight broke out between Opie and some guy, Opie swears he punched the guy only twice but Kyle stepped in and beat the shit out of the guy putting him in a coma. Kyle took off and left Opie to take the fall.
"First of all" I yelled.
"Why the hell was he doing any business for the club on our wedding day?" I asked, looking at uncle Clay.
"that was my question too" said Piney.
"Listen, they were only going to drop off a package, that's it." said uncle Clay as he rubbed his face with his hands.
I could tell he felt bad but I didn't care I was pissed, because of whatever business it was and Kyle Hobart. I wouldn't be getting married tonight. Probably never.
The chief took me to see Opie at the station. I suggested we get married there but Opie said there was no way in hell he was going to marry the mother of his child in a jail. I couldn't blame him.
"Baby, I'm so sorry". Opie said quietly. Looking like he could explode at any moment. I could tell he was pissed. He shouldn't be in jail.
I couldn't see Opie for two weeks. Sofia couldn't see her daddy. I knew Opie's heart was breaking.
On Jan 25th Opie was sentenced to a maximum of 7 years at Stockton prison. With a possibility of parole in 3 years.
I was holding Sofia in the courtroom trying to hold it together. They let Opie stop and say goodbye to me and Sofia. He had tears forming while he was holding her. It's like she knew it was goodbye, she started crying and burying her face in his neck. We stood there holding onto one another, I just kept telling him I loved him over and over and that I would visit him all the time.
I didn't break down until after Opie was gone. I actually went numb. I couldn't cry, scream… nothing.
We got back to aunt Gemma and uncle Clays house. I could tell my dad was tired so I told him to go lay down for a bit, I asked aunt Gemma to watch Sofia for me. I wanted to go to the clubhouse and see Jax and maybe have a drink.
"sure baby, you go, let off some steam don't worry about Sofia, you pumped enough to last three or four days" she said to me as she gave me a big hug.
"thank you" I told her as I gave her and Sofia kisses.
I drove my Chevelle around for a while. I wanted to be alone for a while, so I took some back roads. I drove really fast with all the windows down so the cold air and wind could rip through my hair and hit my face. Like I was on the back of Opies bike.
When I finally made it to the clubhouse I was ready for a drink. I parked and went marching inside. It was pretty quiet, everyone was dispersed in different areas of the clubhouse. I knew they all felt bad.
I walked up to the bar and told the prospect to give me some Jack Daniels. He gave me a double shot in a glass. I took the shot, grabbed the bottle and the glass turned around and looked at Jax. He just nodded to me and we went in his dorm room.
"I can't believe this really happened Jax, it's like I'm living a bad dream" I said quietly.
"I know Cam, I'm so sorry" Jax stated.
I took a few more shots and I new I couldn't drive, so I stayed with Jax and we stayed up talking about what I was going to do.
I was going to be a good "old lady". I would stay in Charming and visit Opie every chance we got. What else could I do?
It was about 2am when I finally fell asleep on Jax. I couldn't cry, I couldn't yell. I just hugged Jax as tight as I could and fell asleep. Maybe I would be ok after all.
I could visit Opie two weeks after he was taken to Stockton. He could have visitors twice a month for an hour at a time.
I didn't miss a visit for the first four months and I wrote Opie once a week.
May
Opie was sitting at one of the tables near the windows. Expressionless. I knew that prison was making him hard, he was changing. He didn't look at me the same, he was angry.
Sofia and I walked in to the visiting area, Opie stood up and hugged us. I could tell he was smelling my hair, he was holding us tight. It felt good, I missed that. The last couple of times I had been to visit, he didn't hold me like this.
I had filled him in on Sofia and work, I gave him more pics of me and Sofia.
It was like we were making small talk. Then he quietly said "I don't want you to come here anymore"
"What? Why?" I asked in a wavering voice.
"I don't want you to have to see me like this and this is no place for our daughter to be" Opie said.
"Baby, I know your having a rough time. It's rough on all of us. Don't try pushing me away, it won't work" I told him.
"Cambrie, I can't do this anymore, you need to move on, get on with your life. You don't deserve this, I don't deserve you, move on and find someone you can be happy with, don't come again" he said harshly. As he got up he kissed Sofia and me on the cheek and left us in the visiting area.
I just sat there for what seemed like an eternity, stunned. I watched him walk away from us and not look back once.
Sofia started fussing so we left. I could tell the guard had heard everything by the way he was looking at us. He had a look of pity.
I stopped at the clubhouse on my way home. I was still staying with uncle Clay and aunt Gemma, they didn't want Sofia and I moving into a house until we knew what was going on an figured things out.
I parked my car, and took Sofia into the office to see aunt Gemma.
"there's my girls" she said. Then she took one look at me and knew there was something wrong.
"baby what is it? Is Opie ok". I told her about our conversation and she just kept on nodding her head, "yep, your uncle John tried that with me too, they just want to make it easier on us. Push back baby girl, he'll get over this soon. You'll see" she said as she hugged me tight.
I went out to the garage to find Jax, he took one look at me and just held me. Then he pulled out a letter and handed it to me.
Dear Cambrie,
If your reading this then we had our last visit. I'm sorry and I don't mean to hurt you but I can't do this anymore. This is not a life you should have to be living. This is not a place for Sofia to see her dad. I love you and you will always have a place in my heart but we can't be together. Like I told you, you need to move on and be happy. I can't make you happy, I'm not in a good place right now. I won't even be up for parole for 3 more years and I can't stand to see you look at me the way you do any longer. Trust me baby, you will have regrets if you don't listen to me. I can't deal with the fact that I would be the one to hold you back.
You have done good by me, and I love you for it but I have failed you and Sofia.
Go back to Tacoma, I know you'll be happier there. If you have any pictures of Sofia please send them to my dad or Jax and they will get them to me.
Please kiss Sofia every day for me and tell her that her daddy loves her. Please don't send me anything unless it pertains to Sofia only or I will send it back, don't call and don't try to visit I won't accept you as a visitor.
Again, I'm sorry
Opie.
After I read the letter, I just sat there on the picnic table oblivious to everything going on around me.
Aunt Gemma had left to go home and took Sofia with her, she knew I needed some time.
I didn't hear him pull up on his bike. I just sat there staring at the letter. I felt someone sit down next to me, I looked over at him and put my head on his shoulder. I showed him the letter.
"aww, sweetheart, I'm sorry, I wish there was something I could do for ya". Tig said as he gave me a big hug.
"If there's something I can do your that you need, you let me know" Tig said sincerely.
"I will Tigger, thank you" I told him as I gave him a kiss on the cheek.
I turned around to walk to my car and I bumped into someone, I almost fell down but I felt a pair of strong muscular arms wrap around me, and I lost it. I just started sobbing and I couldn't control it. I didn't care that anyone could see or hear me. The smell of his leather cut and his scent was so soothing to me. Happy walked me over to his bike, I don't remember climbing on the bike but I was on it, Happy put the helmet on me climbed on grabbed both my arms and wrapped them around his waist.
"You need to hold on, I don't want to lose you going down the road" he demanded with his soothing gravely voice.
I just nodded at him, laid the side of my face on his back and held on tight.
We rode around for what seemed like forever and I loved it. I loved the wind on my face and the freedom I felt being on a bike.
We pulled over at a diner, I didn't realize how hungry I was until I smelled the food.
"you're too thin, you need to eat more" Happy stated.
I just gave him a small smile. "what am I going to do Hap?" "I feel so lost right now". I told him trying not to break down again.
"You are going to move on and raise Sofia, you'll figure it out shorty." Hap said.
Hearing him call me shorty made me smile. "I've missed you Hap, how's Koz doing?" I asked.
"You can ask him yourself, he'll be here tomorrow" he said
Suddenly I felt a little better and felt like I could eat. So I did. We stayed a while longer, then got back on the road. It was dusk out so Happy drove the back roads and we stopped to watch the sunset. I pulled the blanket I knew he had out of his saddle bag and laid it down on the ground.
We sat in silence until all the stars came out. Then he broke the silence.
"You know you always have a home in Washington. I know your dad misses you, everyone there misses you and I ran into your old boss and they would hire you back in a heartbeat" he quietly said.
"I'll think about it" I told him. "Thanks Hap"
"For what" he asked.
"For this, for being here" I said as I clung to him for a few minutes longer.. My heart was broken and I didn't think it would ever be fixed.
Thanks for reading everyone. This chapter was a little hard for me to write. You just never know where your going when you write. Things can change so fast. Don't forget to review ;)
CH 14. Next
I wish I could say that life has been easy without Opie. It hasn't. At first I really thought I would die without him, his refusal of us hurt. It felt like I had my heart ripped from me. I cried all the time, every time I looked at Sofia I cried, pictures etc… Everyone said he was doing what he thought was best and that he wanted better for me. Well it wasn't only up to him. For months I moped around and I sent letters to Opie and he did like he said he would do. Sent them back without even opening them. I thought maybe he would just forget everything he said. He didn't and it hurt like hell. I never thought he would really cut off ties but he did
Sofia and I stayed in Charming through her second birthday. It was a bittersweet day. It was the day that I decided to accept what Opie had done. I stopped writing him directly. I sent all pics and updates through Jax and Piney.
After Sofia's birthday party, I cleaned up and I boxed all the pictures of Opie away, the only ones I allowed around were in Sofia's room.
I decided to move back to Washington, I still had the house Miss Mae left me. But my one stipulation was that no one could live with us. This didn't work. Happy still "lived" there but was usually only there three nights a week and of course if he wasn't there Koz was. They respected me and my wishes so they were good about staying out of my way. And Sofia loved having them there.
Sofia and I moved in the Fall. I was happy to be moving back. Charming had to many memories for me. Everywhere I looked there was some sort of memory that had Opie in it.
I knew Koz, Happy, Lorca and Ronnie were happy to have me move back and I knew my father was especially happy.
My days were always busy. I was able to get a job working for Social Services, I wanted to help children. It was a stressful but rewarding job.
I was also able to work a couple of nights a week as an EMT. I also taught piano and guitar on the side. This way I could put money away for Sofia and still have money to live on. If Opie didn't want to be a part of our family then I refused to take any money that may have come from him, so that went into the bank for Sofia as well. I refused to touch it.
So between work and Sofia I was really busy. But I needed it. I could only sleep four to five hours at a time, I would dream, sometimes I would have nightmares that Sofia and everyone I loved would be taken away from me or run away from me. Either way. Good dream or bad dream I always seemed to wake up crying.
Sofia was the only thing that kept me going. She was adorable, sweet and usually always happy. She was spoiled rotten. Her dad may not be with us but she has lots of uncles, nanny Ronnie and gramma Gemma.
Most of all she had papa John. Sundays were still spent with dad. There was nothing Sofia could do wrong in my dads eyes. He took her fishing before she could hold her own pole, taught her how to swim, read poems to her and told her many stories of my mother grandma Debby.
I still saw my family from Charming but it was usually when they came to Washington. Piney always seemed to make time to visit me and Sofia. Though Mary, Opies mother was no where to be found.
I went back to Charming every year on the anniversary of my moms death. I would take her flowers and sit at her grave and talk to her for hours.
New Years (Sofia age 2 yrs 4 months)
The holidays were nice and quiet, and of course Sofia was spoiled as usual. We spent Christmas Eve at my dads and went to dinner at Lorca's and Ronnie's. Sofia had a blast. Happy and Koz chipped in and bought her a battery operated Harley. Her first. So Lorca and Ronnie bought her riding gear, helmet, leather jacket and gloves. Mind you it was made out of plastic and she was never on the road with it. In our family anything to do with Harley had to be taken seriously. Something didn't feel right though. I kept getting a tugging feeling in my stomach, it was the same feeling I would get when I would let myself start to miss Opie. But I realized it wasn't Opie I was missing, it was Hap. He was in California for Christmas spending time with his mom. I missed our late night chats over ice cream and going for a ride on the back of his bike.
It was New Years Eve and there was going to be a party at the clubhouse. Dad refused to let me stay home. Said he was taking Sofia home with him and that I needed to go out and let off some steam.
It had been so long since I took a night out for myself so I decided to get ready to meet Ronnie at the club house.
I put on my best pair of jeans, they seemed to fit in all the right places. I a deep green black lace and satin cami with my stiletto ankle boots and leather jacket. I gave myself a once over in the mirror… I didn't hear or see Koz standing in the doorway.
"sweetheart you look too good to be hanging out at the clubhouse" he said sweetly.
I smiled and gave him a hug. "thanks Koz, you ready to go"? I asked.
It was freezing outside but really crisp and clear. It was beautiful. Felt like it could snow.
Good thing I brought my scarf and gloves.
"are you sure you can ride in those things" Koz asked while looking down at my boots. "Well I guess we will find out" I told him while he helped me onto the back of his bike. I felt nervous, anxious. It had been a while since I had gone to a party at the clubhouse.
I could hear the music as we pulled into the clubhouse. I didn't see Happy's bike anywhere. My heart dropped a little. I missed him, I worried about him.
Walking in it smelled like a mixture of perfume, booze and cigarette smoke. There were already girls on the strippers pole. Sweet butts I didn't miss.
Koz went over to Lorca and some other guys while I went to find Ronnie in the kitchen. I found her giving orders to some of the hang arounds.
"Make sure you get all the food out there, those boys are hungry" Ronnie said firmly.
"Always giving orders aren't ya Ronnie" I laughed.
"Baby girl, I'm so glad you came out, how bout' we get a drink" she said while pulling me to the bar.
"Hey prospect, two whiskeys and two beers now" Ronnie demanded.
I still felt uneasy so I took my shot then ordered another.
"Someone's ready to party" Ronnie stated while giggling. "It's good to see you let loose baby girl".
"Thanks" I told her. "So hey, is Hap back yet" I asked. "Well he's supposed to be back sometime tonight, so I'm not sure. I haven't seen him yet, but I have been busy" Ronnie told me.
As I reached for my third shot of whiskey I heard someone say. "Whoa darlin' you better take it easy with that stuff, I don't want to hold your hair back while you puke"…. I knew that voice and I couldn't help but grin and giggle.. "JACKSON TELLER." I yelled as I jumped up to hug him.
"I didn't know you were coming but I'm glad you are here" I told him.
"Yea, I asked the others to keep it quiet, wanted to surprise you, so I rode back with Hap"..
"Haps here? Where?" I said a little too enthusiastically, which brought looks from Ronnie and Jax.
"What?" I asked
"geeze I'm only asking" I said feeling a little foolish. I saw Jax and Ronnie look at each other and start laughing.
I started to walk off to look for Happy when I felt Jax pull me back.
"Hey I'm sorry, we aren't laughing at you, it's just….well… ok, I thought maybe you had feelings for him" Jax said a little nervously.
"No I don't " I tried to deny a little too quickly.
Ronnie pulled me in for a hug and said "sweetheart, it's ok if you do. We understand, we kind of expected it".
I looked down at my bottle of beer afraid to look at Jax and Ronnie. " I feel silly and stupid" I said quietly.
"Don't" both Jax and Ronnie said together. Jax pulled me in for another hug and gave me a kiss on top of my head. "You deserve every happiness Cam" Jax whispered in my ear. I just smiled and hugged him.
Happy's POV
Jax and I pulled into the clubhouse parking lot and I knew Cam was there, Koz was picking her up and his bike was there. What I didn't expect was how beautiful she looked when I walked in. She didn't see me, she was in the kitchen with Ronnie. So I went to put my stuff in my dorm room and take a quick shower.
I ignored all the croweaters and sweet butts.
When I came back out I went to talk with Lorca and Koz. They were in deep conversation over whether the Seahawks would make it to the Superbowl. While they were talking I scanned the room for Cambrie. I saw her at the bar and down two shots of something, probably whiskey. She looked happy and she was talking to Jax and hugging him, then she looked a little sad. That made me want to punch someone. I don't like Cambrie being sad. I saw her walk away from Jax and saw Jax pull her back in for another hug and whisper something in her ear. Then she smiled.
I couldn't help but think how beautiful she looked. She was wearing green slinky top thing. Green made her eyes and hair look even more beautiful. I wanted to reach out and touch her.
"Hey brother, what do ya think, will they or won't they?" Lorca asked.
"Huh, what?" I said.
Koz and Lorca just shook their heads and laughed.
"Why don't you just go over and say hi. She's been asking about ya" Koz said matter of factly. With a shit eating grin on his face.
"Fuck off " I growled at them ask I started to walk towards the bar.
"Gimme two beers and two whiskeys prospect"
I************************************************************************************************
I was looking through the music trying to figure out what to put in next. When I felt a hand lightly touch my lower back and a beer and shot put in front of me. I knew it was Happy. I turned around and pulled him in for a hug.
"Hey stranger, bout time you got back" I giggle at him. He gave me the one eyebrow up surprised look.
"You drunk shorty?" he asked . "Not yet, but gunna be" I said with a big smile.
Happy leaned down and grabbed my hip and whispered in my ear, "lets go outside". On my way out I downed the shot Hap had brought me and grabbed my beer. I was going to need a little liquid courage.
We went out into the crisp cold air. I sat down on the picnic table. Hap stood there with his arms crossed, just staring at me.
"How's the princess, she being a good girl?" he asked.
"Of course, she loved what you got her, rides it all the time, sometimes she falls off and gets real mad and yells at it" I told him, he smiled and made a sound that could have been laughter.
I started to laugh at the thought of Sofia on her bike. "it's pretty cute" I told him.
"How's your mom doing?" I asked.
"Not any better but not any worse" Hap said, sounding a little sad. I knew it was tough for him to leave her. We sat out there for a while making small talk and telling each other about hour holiday.
I took a sip of my beer and I shivered. I was getting cold. I was hoping it would snow.
"You look good, out to impress someone"? Happy asked with a knowing look.
"Maybe" I giggled.
Hap walked up and put his arms around me and pulled me into him. It was so cold out but he was radiating heat off of him.
"Your shivering" he said as he held me tighter. "Lets go inside" he said as he lead me towards the door.
I pulled back and looked up at him. " We really missed you Hap…. I really missed you" I told him quietly. He leaned down to me and stared into my eyes. "I missed you too" he said in a deep low voice. I leaned into him and he leaned into me, as I put my hand on the back of his neck the door flew open which made us both jump back.
"Hey, it's almost midnight, better get in here" Jax said while giving us the 'I know what's going one' look. I started to feel the heat rising up to my face. I feel like a teenager getting busted by her dad.
"Darlin' you ok? You look a little hmm.. I dunno… flushed" Jax asked. I could tell he was trying not to laugh.
I could feel Happys hand tighten around mine. "We're coming" Happy told him sounding a little irritated.
We went inside and Jax handed me a shot of whiskey and a beer and Happy a beer. I asked Jax "you trying to get me drunk?" as I swayed in my stilettos, holding onto Happy.
"Why yes darlin, I am" Jax laughed.
We stood with Lorca, Ronnie and Jax. As the countdown started.
I stood there staring up at Happy, Midway through the count Jax leaned in and kissed me on the cheek and gave Happys shoulder a squeeze. I saw a look pass between them.
.6.5.…
Happys POV.
We were outside and I was about to kiss Cambrie, I'm pretty sure she was going to let me. She was a little buzzed. Giggling and shit. Most woman would annoy me being like this but not Cambrie. She was having a good time and she deserved it.
Jax banged through the door telling us to get inside because it was almost midnght. I knew he could tell something was going on or about to at least.
I always felt protective of Cambrie at first she was like my little sister but then she grew up. We had spent a lot of time together over the last 4 years. I think I knew a part of me has always cared for her more than I should have.
We went inside and the countdown had started. Jax brought us drinks and midway through the count he leaned over and kissed Cam on the cheek and gave my shoulder a brotherly squeeze and a look that said "it's ok".
I couldn't take my eyes off of her, those big beautiful green eyes have haunted me for years, I could picture those eyes when I was inside some sweet butt or when I had one's mouth around my dick. Oh what those eyes could do for me. I would see how she would look at Opie, my brother. Shit, did I feel guilty.. Yea, I did, I do.
Now looking at her, I see her finally looking back. Not really the same way she looked at Ope, it was different. There was something else. With Opie she looked at him with eyes of young love. Now she looked at me with eyes of someone who had been put through the ringer. Like she knows what she wants but a little unsure.
I pulled Cambrie away from everyone, over to the corner where it was dark but I could still see those eyes looking at me.
.…1
HAPPY NEW YEAR! Everyone screamed, as I pulled her in and touched my lips to hers. I didn't want to scare her so I was gentle. I licked her bottom lip and gave it a little bite.
I didn't want to do this here. At the clubhouse in front of everyone, Cam was special.
"Lets get out of here" I said to her. She nodded at me and smiled. We said quick goodbyes and happy new years to everyone. I saw her hug Jax, a little longer than I would have liked but I also noticed he was smiling and whispering in her ear.
Jax's eyes met mine and he gave me a nod. I knew I had his approval and that meant a lot. Seeing Opie was his best friend, but Cam was his other best friend. She was like a sister to him.
I grabbed Cambries hand and led her out to my bike.
Happy kissed me. It wasn't a deep passionate gotta have ya kiss. But it was sweet and it meant something. It made me hot and flush. I hadn't felt this way for a very long time.
Happy wanted to get out of there, I was okay with that. Everyone was getting pretty wasted and there were lots of naked boobs walking around.
I went and said goodbye to Jax. I was hugging him and he said to me.
"Be good sweetheart, don't do anything I wouldn't do". that made me laugh. Then he pulled me in a little tighter and told me Happy was watching and he didn't look happy.
I couldn't help but giggle.
"Night Jax, love you. I'm glad you are here." I simply stated.
"Love you to sweetheart" he said with a smile.
I put my gloves and scarf on. Grabbed my helmet from Koz's bike. I was about to climb on when I saw the first flake of snow. I was so excited.. I started laughing out loud.
"Hap it's snowing" I said excitedly as I put my hands out to catch it.
"Come on sweetheart, lets get you home before we can't ride, or you'll be staying here tonight".
He put his hand out to help me climb on the back.
"Jesus baby girl, you could hurt yourself in those boots. Koz let you ride with those on?" It was more of a statement then a question.
"Yep, they look good, right?" I asked.
"they look dangerous" Happy said.
He grabbed both my arms and wrapped them around his waist. It felt good, I couldn't help but run my fingers over his abs. I thought I felt him shiver. That made me smile.
He pulled me leg closer to him and started gently rubbing it.
The snow started coming down harder it was powdery. I noticed Happy wasn't going as fast as he normally would. We didn't go straight home, we drove around looking at all the Christmas lights people had left on. Ok, so I was looking at the lights, he was just driving.
We finally pulled up to the house. He stopped outside of the car port. I couldn't help but giggle. I loved the snow. It was so pretty. I went to step off the bike and I slipped a little and fell into Happy. He was still on the bike.
"You okay" he asked. I rested my head on his shoulder. "yea, I'm good. Stilettos and snow don't really go together.
I could feel Happy rubbing my lower back. I pulled away from him slightly so I could look at his face. I ran my fingers over his cheek and jaw. His face felt hot.
I leaned in kissed him. He wrapped both arms around me and I felt his hand run over my ass. It felt nice. I pressed myself into him trying to get closer. Our tongues were dancing. He tasted almost sweet.
He pulled away.
"You need to get inside. Your shaking" he said in a low growl.
"Aren't you coming in?" I asked, knowing I sounded hopeful.
"You sure you want me to?" he asked staring directly into my eyes.
Quietly I said. "I'm sure Hap". I grabbed his hand trying to get him off the bike.
"You go in, I'm going to park my bike in the carport, don't want to leave it out in the snow",
We smiled at each other. "Ok" I said.
I went into the house and went straight into my bedroom to get out of my damp clothes.
I stripped down to my bras and panties. I had on a black lace bra and matching boy cut panties. I brushed my hair out, looked at myself one more time, I felt good, hoped I looked good.
I heard Happy come in and go into the other bedroom. I threw on my silk bathrobe, a recent gift from aunt Gemma. I went into the kitchen to grab us a couple of beers. When I walked back into the living room, Happy had a fire going in the fireplace. We could see the snow really coming down outside through the windows.
He was kneeling down poking at the fire, I handed him his beer.
He looked up at me and smiled.
"Thanks for the fire" I told him as I sat down on the floor in front of the fire, next to him.
"welcome" he said. I'm not sure but he seemed nervous. Happy doesn't get nervous so I'm not quite sure what to call it.
I got up to turn the stereo on. It started playing 'So Far Away' by Staind.
I put my beer down on the fireplace mantle and kneeled down in front of Happy. We just stared at each other for a little while. Then I made the first move.
I leaned in and kissed his cheek, then his jaw, his ear, his neck. I started to unbutton his shirt. I was trying to take it slow, I didn't know if Happy was going to back away, I almost thought he would.
I put my hands in his shirt and slid it off his shoulders. Making his tattoos visible. I kissed his neck working my way down to his shoulders tracing his tattoos. His skin was so smooth.
I felt his hands come up to my sides. Caressing along my ribs, rubbing his thumb under my bra line. I couldn't help but moan a little. I stood up over him and opened my robe and let it slip down my back and off my arms.
I heard him take in a breath. "Jesus Christ your fucking beautiful" as he took me in with his eyes. I looked down at him and smiled. I stepped over his lap and straddled him. I thought he was beautiful. His body was like a piece of art with all of his tattoos. He wrapped his arms around my waist and started kissing my neck working his way to my collar bone, up to my ear, my jaw.. I couldn't take it anymore so I grabbed his face and planted my lips on his. They were so soft. He nipped at my bottom lip as I traced his lips gently with my tongue. This started driving us both wild. I could feel his warm hands gently slide over both of my boobs, his thumbs gently circling over my nipples. I started rocking back and forth trying to press into him. I could feel him growing hard underneath me. It felt so good, it had been so long since I have felt wanted. I could tell Hap was being cautious with me, being gentle. It's been so long I didn't want cautious and gentle. I pushed him back so he was lying flat on the floor. I kissed him with more force. I wanted to show him I wanted him, I needed him.
I started to undo his jeans. In his low sexy voice he said "baby, we can slow down, don't have to rush anything".
I looked into his eyes. "I don't want to go slow Hap. I need this, I need you" I whispered.
"Enough said" he stated with a big smile on his face as he picked me up and laid me back on the floor in front of the fireplace.
I wanted him fast and hard. The only thing between us was the thin material of his boxers and my lace panties. He rubbed his hands over my stomach and down over my panties. He first gently rubbed over my mound. As he sucked and nipped at my nipples. I arched my back up so I could get closer to him.
"shit Hap, that feels so good. Hmmm, I need more" I said as I was panting and trying to catch my breath.
"damn baby, you are so wet already. You like it like this, you want me to keep rubbing you?" he whispered to me.
"yes" I answered. "Just like that". damn Hap.. Feels sooo.. Damn good..
Pretty soon, he had his hand in my panties, thumb on my clit and one finger inside. God it felt so good.
"umm, ohh, Hap, I'm almost. Ahh." was all I could say as his hand was giving me amazing pleasure.
"come on baby, come for me" he said as he leaned down to kiss my clit. Next thing I knew he replaced his fingers with his tongue, licking, kissing, sucking.. I was almost there. I couldn't take it anymore and forced him up as I grabbed his large, hot and throbbing cock and put it inside of me. I was riding him, back and forth and up and down.
"oh my god, shit hap" was all I could say in between the mmm's and moans. I didn't care about gentle. I wanted it fast and hard. He grabbed my hips and started ramming himself further inside of me. It hurt a little him going so deep but it felt amazing too.
I had my arms wrapped around his neck, as he held my hips and we rammed into each other. I heard someone screaming, "yes, oh yes, don't fucking stop, I'm almost there". it was me.
Happy kept saying over and over.. "you feel so good, so tight, fuck yea"..
I reached one hand down and started rubbing myself as happy kept pounding into me. I felt my climax coming, once he felt my walls constricting Happy came too…
I dropped down onto his chest. We were both panting and breathing heavy.
Once my breathing was under control, I looked up at Happy and gave him a kiss then laid my head on his chest. I could hear his heart beating so fast.
"that was amaaaazing… thank you" I whispered.
"You're amazing" he said as he stroked his hand up and down my back. "No thanks needed sweetheart, you did most the work" he chuckled.
We both laughed.
"Well" I said. "We're not done yet" I breathed into his ear….