Hey guys! This ends the story but there will be an epilogue! :) Anyway, took me an hour to write and Mom says, 'Get your A** off the computer.', so I gotta go! PLEASE REVIEW!

Alivia

The spackled cottage cheese on my ceiling reminded me of stars.

I remember when I was young I would try and make shapes out of the chaos. You never really think about it, but what if, say, ten, of the little white dots somehow disappeared? Didn't go anywhere in particular , just left. And in its spot was a smooth white surface?

Wouldn't it look vacant? Wouldn't it look like something was just missing? The cottage cheese ceiling reminded me of stars in the blanket of night sky. What if some stars were missing?

The little cottage cheese dots reminded me of my childhood. Things I missed, but shouldn't have. Staring up at a ceiling, one hand draped across my stomach, while the other clutched my Blackberry for dear life, I felt more like pondering senseless Bull than actually facing my situation. Thinking about moral values didn't seem like much of a turn on right now, I guess.

My options were slightly limited. There was no way I could go through with one of them, I just couldn't fathom killing something that innocent. Giving things away has never been my forte either. Most would probably never consider me an emotional woman, but at this point facades and covers were the farthest from my mind. My hands shook.

There was only one other option.

Maybe this could work out. It wasn't looked down upon nowadays to do it alone. I was already very independent as it was. How hard could it be?

"You never put the wrong guy away?"

Everything was so confusing. I felt like I was in a concrete room that kept changing. He was supposed to be an easy assignment. He has become a man. They all have changed, that team I was supposed to research when I first took the damn job.

Ziva David. Ex-Mossad, now. Tough opponent in a physical battle. Raised by Eli David. Taught to kill first, feel second. I saw the way she looked at Tony Dinozzo. She's obviously a woman in love. But love is forbidden in her world, as I understand. What happened there?

Anothony Dinozzo. Party animal. Frat boy. Player. Was involved in serious deep cover operation while Jennifer Sheppard was still Director of NCIS. It went South, and from what I've understood from files, more than just a few street signs were broken. He is protective of his team. It shows clearly on his face when I inquired about his boss. His boss.

Timothy McGee. Didn't speak to that man too often, but I watched him from afar. Smart. Geeky. That's all you need to know. But, like Tony, I watched as he saw me sneaking around the bullpen. McGee smelled a rat.

"And you never let the wrong guy get away?"

Maybe I should tell him. Maybe I should just...no. I knew well enough to leave it be. No sense in forcing him into something like that. I knew him, in a way. He was an honorable man. If he knew about..it...there would be no stopping him from being apart of it s existence. Selfishly, I don't think I could take something like that happening. Nope, veto that decision.

"Don't flatter yourself."

"You're standing in my house."

I did not want it to end like this. In the perfect world, he would have never found out. In the perfect world, I might've just told him when I realized what he was. And who knows? We might've had something real together. But maybe and could've don't matter anymore.

The clock has struck twelve. I'm not a DA anymore. I'm just a woman who can't seem to stop screwing up things.

"You're a failure Margaret Alison!"

My head spun as I heaved once more into the toilet.

Father s were supposed to be loving. They were supposed to hold you when you cried and kiss boo-boo's. Mine was a bastard.

"Just for once, don't lie to me!"

His eyes were so blue then. A lone tear streaked down my pale cheek as I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I hardly recognized myself. I never meant to hurt anyone. I never wanted to lie to him.

"Do you care about Agent Gibbs?"

My heart pounds in my ears as I walk through my carpeted bedroom, needing a release from my horrible reflection. I look up to see my gold vanity, and me, looking back. I just can't escape from anything now. The running has stopped. I can't avoid the situation I'm in.

The appointment with the doctor is scheduled, just to reconfirm my fate. Their fate, whoever 'they', is.

"Yes."

The little pink plus sign stared right up at me as I look on blurrily. I was never good with children. How could I?...my throat felt dry and I wanted to gasp for air even though my lungs were securely intact.

"Oh God." I hardly registered the words and unrecognizable sob which shook my body.

That was the moment I realized I loved Leroy Jethro Gibbs.

"...and you just keep getting in the way."

Life is just filled with misconceptions, isn't it?