Author's note: EEEP! I am so excited! So many reviews! So many favorites! It's awesome. Seriously. You guys are awesome. I'd name you all off, but there are so many of you! You know who you are, and I hope you know how much I LOVE. YOU. Like for serious. In this chapter, Mello, Matt and Alice are working out the details of the agreement, Matt asks Alice some questions, and makes his own illustrations for their family meeting….

AAAAAaaaannnd….BEGIN!

The day after Mello had brought Alice home, Matt spent the whole day putting together a presentation to establish the ground rules for their agreement. Alice left early that day to go pay off the Diamonds, and returned around noon in a contagiously happy mood. Matt noted that she wasn't shy around him anymore, and proceeded to grill her with very personal questions.

"In order to confirm your desirability as a surrogate, I need to ask you a few questions." He said. Alice looked up from the book she was reading, one of Mello's crime dramas.

"Okay, that makes sense. Shoot."

"What was your grade point average in high school?" Matt asked as he took out a clipboard with a huge stack of paper clipped to it.

"Hmm….I don't really remember. I think it was like a 3.5 or so."

Matt wrote something down on his papers and nodded. "Average, then?"

Alice looked offended. "Average? That's really good for around here!"

Matt looked up over the top edge of his clipboard at her. "Mello and I both graduated with perfect 5.0s."

"Well you can't compare me to you two!" Alice protested. "You guys aren't even American! Everyone knows that our school system is awful compared to other countries'."

Matt didn't apologize. "Did you excel at anything in particular while you were in school?"

"I was cheer captain." She said with pride in her eyes.

Matt looked at her again. Long, blonde hair, natural but with unnecessary highlights, bright pink lip gloss and a chest that would make another man drool. "I expected that. I meant something important, like chemistry or trig."

"I didn't take either of those. I did geometry and algebra though."

Matt took another note and nodded. "How was your math skill?"

"It was…okay….we had to keep our grades good to cheer, so I always tried hard."

"I see. Next question. How many sexual partners have you had within the past two months?"

"Why do you need to know that?!" Alice shrieked. Matt sighed.

"A high number of sexual encounters increase your risk for a sexually transmitted disease."

"I know that. I get tested for that stuff at the gynecologist every year."

"Be that as it may, some diseases like HIV, HPV and cervical cysts can lie dormant for years before registering on those tests. I don't want my son given an STD before he's born."

"So you want a boy, then?"

"Alice. Please answer the question, we have a lot more to cover."

Alice blushed. "Well….only two since I broke up with Ron."

"Ron is the assjack that left you in debt with that pissed out little gang downtown?"

Alice chuckled. "Yeah. I started work at the club, but Mello…er….picked me up before I could do much."

Matt nodded and wrote this information down. "You'll need to be tested again soon, and again in a month."

Alice shrugged. "Whatever."

"Excellent." He shifted his weight in his chair, turning to hang his legs off one chair arm and rest his head on the other. "Does your family have any serious health issues? Any history of heart disease, cancer, male pattern baldness, etc?"

"Male pattern baldness?"

"Mello and I are orphans. We don't know our families' health history, so I'm trying to figure out if our son is going to be bald at 40."

Alice frowned. They were orphans? No wonder they cared so much for each other. Matt was all Mello had, and vice versa. "My dad has a full head of hair at 50, mom still does yoga, and both sets of grandparents lived to be 80 or so."

"Very good, very good." Matt wrote more. "On a scale of one to five, please rate the current safety of your uterus."

"….what?"

Matt was dead serious. "Do you regularly run into tables or counters? Do you have a tendency to inject narcotics into your abdomen?"

"No, and no. What the hell?"

"I'm going to give you a probationary level four security clearance then." Matt wrote that down.

"Probationary?"

"It could change. I will monitor your actions for a while to determine your actual uterine security level."

"Are you for real?"

"This is important information, miss."

Alice sighed. "Fine, whatever. Next question."

"Given your previous state of….employment…." Matt said, "are you currently addicted to any narcotics, alcohol, or any other controlled substances?"

"No." No explanation. Alice was getting tired of the barrage of insulting questions.

"What's your philosophy on life?"

"Yolo."

Matt looked up. "Yolo?"

"You only live once."

"I see." He put his pencil back to his clipboard. "A philosophy like that could be used to justify any number of reckless actions and stupid decisions."

"It's not like that, you see I think you should get the best out of every day in-"

"Do you have any seasonal allergies? Perhaps hay fever or pollen sensitivity?"

Alice's eyes narrowed. He interrupted her explanation. "I get a little stuffy in the spring, but nothing unbearable."

"Have you had any cosmetic surgeries?"

"No."

"Do you like cats or dogs?"

Forget asking questions. She was just going to answer every one to get this over with as soon as possible. "Cats."

"Have you ever had a prescription for eyeglasses?"

"No."

"What's your favorite color?"

"Green."

"Favorite way to calm down?"

"Yoga."

"Do you frequently experience fits of rage, anger or other abusive actions?"

"No."

"Do you sleep walk?"

"I don't think so."

"How often do you drink alcohol?"

"Not often, maybe about twice a week."

"How often does this activity result in drunkenness, hangovers, or random sexual encounters?"

"I've only been drunk once, and I've never had a hangover."

"Do you prefer reading or watching television?"

"Television."

"History channel or MTV?"

"MTV."

Matt frowned. "I see. Are you now, or have you ever been a Somali pirate, involved in the trade of children, illegal weapons, and sex slaves?"

"No."

"Do you intend to carry my baby to full term, then abduct him and flee the country?"

"Do I look like I have the money to do that?"

"Some people can find ways to do anything. But I don't suggest trying anything like that. Mello would find you in a day, and I wouldn't hesitate to kill you."

"I thought Mello was the violent one?"

"Oh he's violent. But just try and take my son away from me. I'll cut a bitch."

"Noted."

"How familiar are you with computers?"

"I can use one. I have a laptop."

"What do you primarily use your computer for?"

"Facebook, online shopping, that sort of stuff."

"Do you consider yourself particularly skilled when it comes to operating a computer?"

"Average, I guess."

"Have you ever shot a firearm?"

"No."

"I'll have Mello teach you."

"Why do I need to learn how to shoot? Isn't that a bit much?"

"Look." Matt lowered his clip board and stared at Alice through the orange tint of his goggles. "You've agreed to have the baby of an LA mafia boss and his boyfriend. We have enemies, and you've just became involved with our affairs. If anyone gets wind of your vulnerability, they might try to hurt you just to get to us. You need to be able to defend yourself."

"Mello's the boss? As in the boss?"

"He's the leader. The big shot. He controls everything. But that's not the point."

"How'd he get to be the boss so young? Did he kill the other guy?"

"Yes. And all of the men respect him. He can be pretty fucking scary if he needs to be. Plus, he's never wrong- about anything. People respond to that kind of intelligence."

"You both seem really smart."

"We're geniuses. Literally, our IQs can't be accurately measured with modern tests."

"Wow….so what do you do? If he's a mafia boss, what are you?"

"I hack. Play video games. Smoke a lot. That's about all."

"So you're the lazy one?"

"Yes. Your presence here is the only thing that prompted my putting clothes on this morning."

"I see. Stripes, huh?"

Matt nodded. "I think that's enough for now, Mello will be home in a few hours and I still need to finish the presentation for our family meeting tonight."

"Family meeting?"

"Sort of like a mission briefing. Clearing up some problematic areas of the agreement, establishing the way this is going to work, covering everything twice, etc."

Alice nodded in understanding and went back to her book. Matt picked up his laptop and started typing away.

A few hours later, Mello opened the door to the apartment. Alice was asleep on the couch, long hair falling in her face and over the couch arm. Matt was on his knees in the floor, tinkering with a huge flat screen TV that was hooked to one of his laptops. He'd dragged the television from their bedroom, an impressive feat given its size and the fact that Alice probably hadn't helped. Or maybe she had, and hurt herself to the point of unconsciousness? Mello smiled at that thought. Matt would probably carelessly let her stay that way for hours if that were the case.

"Heya Matty, what do you have going on here?"

"Ohai Mells." Matt said, standing up when the television screen displayed the same screensaver as his laptop- a dancing sriracha hot sauce bottle. Matt never was one for maturity. "I'm setting up the television for my presentation."

"Presentation?"

"We need visual aids to help with the Inaugural Meeting of the Jeevas Family Unit, in which we will discuss and debate several topics pertaining to our current project: the creation of another Jeevas."

"Jeevas Family Unit?"

"Yes. I was going to use Keehl, but Jeevas sounds better."

"I wonder why?" Mello said smiling. He leaned down to kiss Matt on the forehead. "Call it whatever you want. I'm still going to be the real dad."

Matt laughed. "It's that kind of false information that made this meeting necessary." He tossed a pillow at Alice's head. "Wake up!" He yelled.

Alice stirred sleepily then sat up on the couch, adjusting her clothes and brushing her hair out of her face. "What?" Her eyes landed on Mello. "Oh. So I guess it's time for the first annual Jeeves family reunion thing?"

Matt wasn't pleased. "It's the Inaugural Meeting of the Jeevas Family Unit. And yes, it's time."

Mello laughed and took a seat in a recliner, viewing the television from an angle at the side. Matt clicked his laptop to life and stood to the side of the television, near Mello.

"Okay." He cleared his throat. "The following meeting has been scheduled to debate and establish the regulations and protocol pertaining to our current agreement. Present are Mr. Mello Keehl, Ms. Alice Mcready, and myself, Mr. Matt Jeevas."

"As if we didn't already know that…" Alice muttered.

"Please do not speak unless you have the floor, Alice." Matt said, looking pointedly at her.

He continued with his suspiciously scripted-sounding speech. "In order to bring a new Jeevas into this world, since neither Mello nor myself possess the organs to successfully incubate a child for the ideal gestational period, we have entered into an understood, verbal agreement with Alice that she will surrogate our baby, heretofore referred to as 'Matt Junior.'" Mello rolled his eyes.

"Why can't it be called 'Mello Junior?' You know, since he'd be my son too?"

"Don't speak without being recognized, babe. Anyway, I have interviewed Alice and found her to be somewhat desirable for the position of surrogate, when the lack of other candidates is taken into consideration. I have also comprised a detailed plan of actions that will serve as the itinerary for this endeavor."

"Slow down!" Alice said. "I don't know what some of these words mean!"

Matt's lips thinned and he jogged to the bedroom he shared with Mello, emerging shortly after with a red cap in his hand.

"This," He said, waving the red hat emblazoned with a white 'M' on the front in the air, "is the Mario Cap of Authority. Anyone wearing this cap will have permission to speak UNINTERRUPTED. Anyone who speaks without wearing the Mario Cap of Authority will not be recognized, and any opinions, objections, or ideas will not be considered." He placed the cap on his head. "I am now wearing the Mario Cap of Authority."

Alice looked at Mello confusedly. "Is he always like this?"

"Pretty much. It's why I love him."

Matt had changed the slide on the screen to reveal a crudely drawn cup. It looked like something a preschooler would bring home to their parents after craft day.

"Since Mello and I can't agree on which of us will be the biological father of Matt Junior, I propose this solution: We will collect semen from both Mello and myself, and artificially inseminate Alice. Then we will let natural selection determine which of us will be the one to fertilize the egg. Are there any questions? Alice, you can have the Cap of Authority."

Alice grudgingly placed the hat on her head. "I think it's a good way to get around this particular issue. I mean, it's easier and more of a gamble than picking one dad and knowing automatically who the real father is."

Mello snatched the hat off of her head. "I like this idea too. Plus, she's blonde naturally. So even if you are the real dad, Matty, Mello Junior could still come out with blonde hair." He returned the Mario hat to Matt, who looked scandalized.

"You picked a blonde on purpose!" He accused. Mello just smiled. Matt pouted for a few seconds, but then clicked to another slide. This one showed two stick figures, one in goggles and another with boobs and a pony tail, with shopping bags in their hands.

"We will need to establish a fund for any baby related needs. Hospital visits, diapers, clothes, baby furniture, etc."

Mello raised his hand and Matt tossed the hat to him. "I'll give you however much you need. Spare no expense on hospitals. I'll even call a foreign doctor so no questions are asked that might compromise our identities." The hat was tossed to Matt again, who looked at Alice. She had nothing to say.

"Excellent. Thanks Mells, I can't wait to go shopping for our baby." Mello smiled. Alice looked away, feeling like the awkward third wheel in an otherwise happy bicycle.

The slide changed again. The stick person with a pony tail was standing between two buildings. "Now. Alice lives all the way across town. I'd be much more comfortable to have her closer, especially later in the pregnancy. The question I ask is: does Alice move to an apartment near us, or does she move in?"

Alice raised her hand. The hat was thrown to her. "I've been looking for a new place to live anyway, I don't mind moving. But, I won't have enough money to make a down payment on an apartment for a while…"

Mello held out his hand and Alice handed the Cap of Authority to him. "I'd rather you move in with us, so you'll be taken care of and safe. And I'm sure Matt would love the company, especially since he'd be able to watch you constantly to make sure you don't harm the baby in any way." Matt looked shocked and reached for the hat. Mello handed it to him.

"But babe…what about our I.S.T.?"

"What?" Mello asked. Alice looked intrigued.

"Our….impromptu….sexy times…" The last words were whispered, but Alice and Mello heard them just as well.

"Well, we'd definitely need to work something out. Perhaps on days she has doctor's appointments?"

"I make the motion that we get her an apartment in our building, on our floor." Matt announced. Alice nodded quickly.

"I like that idea." She said. Matt glared and pointed at the cap, which was on top of his head. She rolled her eyes. "I like that idea a lot."

"So it's settled then." Mello said. Matt took the hat off his head and tossed it on the table, its purpose being ignored. "I'll talk to the manager of the building, you'll move in as soon as possible."

Matt nodded. "That will be very convenient. Also, that was the last item on my agenda for tonight, so the presentation is over with."

"We needed a presentation for those three pictures?" Alice asked.

"Yes. I worked very hard on all of that, you should appreciate my devotion to our cause."

Mello smiled. "One last thing," he said, looking at Alice. "This is a verbal agreement. No documents have been signed, no terms agreed to, no lawyers or witnesses involved. This is in no way legally binding, and we could do nothing if you decided to leave suddenly, either before or after the birth." Mello's voice dropped low, his eyes taking on a dark gleam. "However, choosing to do so would result in you running for your life for the rest of that life, hoping to whatever god you follow that we didn't find you. And trust me, we would find you. Just keep that in mind."

Alice gulped and looked at Matt, who had removed his goggles to stare at her with the same intensity that Mello was. She wasn't sure who was scarier. Mello was speaking, but the raw emotion emanating from Matt was just as fearsome.

"I understand." She said quietly. "And you should understand that, as long as you uphold your end of this agreement and fly me to whatever country I want to live in, and give me however much money I decide this has been worth, I won't double cross you. I trust you, so you can trust me."

"We've trusted a lot of people in our lives, miss." Matt said. "Don't try to double cross us like some of them did. It doesn't end well." Mello nodded and looked to Matt. The two locked eyes for a moment, sharing an instance of understanding that Alice could only respect. These two had been through a lot, that was obvious.

"I promise. I'll do this and leave." Alice said. "You can have a family, you two definitely deserve it."

Author's Note: Well, they've worked out a few details of the baby plan! And Alice is beginning to understand that Mello and Matt aren't just two guys that want a baby. What'd you think? Reviews=love!

Paste your document here...