Disclaimer & Warnings -- Please read the first chapter
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Warning – Child rape and abuse discussed in detail in this chapter. If you have a difficult time with this I have another story in the works that is much lighter. I would like my readers to enjoy my stories. This story is more therapeutic than anything, but I hope that you all can gain some wisdom from what Abby, and I, went through.
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"Ow!" Tony yells as Abby throws her head back and hits his face, "Ziva go get Gibbs. He might be the only one that can calm her down."
As Tim sweeps Abby's feet out from under her the three people tumble heavily to the floor. The two agents now try to keep their friend from hurting herself or them as she still struggles and screams incoherently. They hope Gibbs can calm her down.
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Ziva David has never run so fast across a building in her life. The sight of Abby completely out of control has scared her like nothing in her life has ever done. Abby is strong, Abby is her friend, and Abby is hurting like something Ziva has only seen once before. She prays that what she thinks has happened to her friend is not true. She is gasping as she reaches the bullpen and suddenly stops in front of Gibbs' desk.
"Gibbs wake up!" Ziva yells.
"This had better be World War three David or else…" Gibbs growls.
"It is Abby." Ziva pants out, "She is screaming and fighting and no one can get her to stop."
"Where is she?" Gibbs asks jumping up, now hearing the noise from across the floor.
"She is in the conference room." Ziva says, but Gibbs is already heading in the direction of the screams.
"What the hell is happening here?" Gibbs roars running into the room and finding his two agents struggling with his forensic scientist on the floor of the conference room.
"We were playing that game truth or dare and she did not want to answer the question I had asked her so we teased her until… Oh God it is my entire fault."
"Ya think David?"Gibbs asks sarcastically walking quickly over to the group on the floor. He gets on his knees and leans as close as he can to Abby's ear.
"Abby, Abby listen to me. You have to calm down. Come back to my voice and calm down." Gibbs softly says stroking her tear streaked face.
"Gibbs?" Abby finally stops struggling against Tony and Tim.
"Let her go." Gibbs says softly, "Abby come here I got you."
As Tim and Tony let go of Abby she throws her arms around Gibbs neck pulling him to the floor next to her and sobs, "Gibbs please save me."
"Abby come with me, let's sit against the wall okay?" Gibbs says trying to move to the wall with the crying woman hanging on his neck. Finally positioning himself and his girl against the wall he says, "Tony, get me two blankets fast. Ziva get her some water. Tim get Ducky on the phone now. It will be okay now Abby, stay with me. Just listen to my voice and stay with me. "
"What happened with her boss?" Tony asks draping the blankets over the huddling couple.
"You tell me DiNozzo. What was the last thing you guys were doing?" Gibbs asks taking the water bottle from Ziva and helping Abby take a sip.
"I've got Ducky on the phone boss, but the roads are still closed."
"Just hand me the phone McGee. Yeh, Duck, she had another panic attack. I've got her warm now…No, I don't think we'll need the sedative. Is it where you left it? Okay, take care of that cold and I'll call back if I need you."
Snuggling his girl closer to him, Gibbs quietly asks her, "What happened Abs? What set off this panic attack?"
The only answer she can give is more sobbing into his already wet shirt.
"Boss we were just all joking around about, well, things when she decided she didn't want to play anymore." Tim says.
"I've heard that twice now and the next thing I want to hear is exactly what was said before she had her panic attack." Gibbs says without raising his voice but with a look that conveys his attitude.
"Gibbs, we were talking about sex and I ask her when her first time was. When she would not answer we all goaded her until she stood up and yelled that she was only twelve and then she ran over to window and started crying." Ziva explains close to tears at her admission.
"I think I caused her attack though boss. I went over to comfort her and she jumped and tried to take a swing at me and then screamed and called me Scott." Tony says sitting down and putting his face in his hands.
"Sex and Scott, hum, well at least I've got a reason and name this time." Gibbs still holds the shaking woman on his lap.
"What do you mean this time? She has had things like this before, yes?"
"One time we were just talking about a case in my basement and she started shaking and crying. I had to call Ducky to give her a sedative before she could calm down. But she refused to talk about what had triggered the attack." Holding the young woman he considers as close as his lost daughter he says, "As soon as she is strong enough we are going to find out just what happened so this never happens again."
"Abby please listen to me, I am so very sorry that I pushed you to answer anything you did not want to answer. Will you please forgive me?" Ziva asks taking Abby's hand in hers. A slight squeeze in reply is all the other can give but Ziva smiles and then sits down besides Gibbs, "I am here for you too Abby. You are a very good friend to me."
"Abby, is what happened to you, what you would have nightmares about before?" Tim asks sitting down in front of the others. Gibbs just raises his eyebrows at the confirmation that the two had been together.
After a minute Abby raises her head from Gibbs' chest and looks him in the eyes, "You all will hate me if you find out. I can't tell anyone because it will only cause trouble. No one will believe me anyways."
"We could never hate you Abby. Not for any reason. We all love you very much." Tony says looking up with tears in his eyes.
"No one will believe me. He always told me no one would believe me if I told." Abby starts to cry again.
"Shh Abs," Gibbs says stroking her hair, "I will believe you. I have always believed you."
"I don't want to cause any trouble Gibbs. I don't want to be in trouble." Abby's voice starts to sound small like a child's.
"You won't be in trouble Abby. I'll make sure of it. I'm your big brother right." Tony says wanting to touch her hand but scared to after her last response.
"My family couldn't help me before. Why do you think you can help me now?"
"Because we are all trained agents and we will protect you." Tony says finally kneeling down beside the other four people.
"Abby, listen to us, that guy will never hurt you again, we all will make sure of it, but now I need to get off this floor." Gibbs says feeling his legs starting to fall asleep.
"You promise. You all promise." Abby asks looking around at her friends.
"I promise, my girl." Gibbs says giving her one last hug before helping her move off his numb lap.
Tim holds a chair out for Abby to sit down in at the large table holding the food while Ziva fills a plate for her friend. Tony holds a blanket out for Abby and when she looks up at him and smiles he gently drapes it around her shoulders.
"Tony I am so sorry that I took a swing at you. You are the closest thing I will ever have to a big brother and I would never mean to hurt you."
"I know that little sis. I'm sorry that I triggered something. Are you ok now?"
"I still feel a little hinky but I'm starting to get my head back together."
"Abby you need to talk about what happened if you are ever going to start healing from what happened to you."Gibbs says sitting beside her at the table.
"Do I have to? I've made it go away all these years."
"Except for the nightmares you've had." Tim says handing her a cola.
"And the panic attacks." Tony says rubbing his sore shins and jaw bone.
"Abby did he, this Scott, rape you when you were twelve?" Ziva asks sitting next to her friend.
"I didn't know. I can't do this. I can't do this."
"Yes you can Abby just take normal breaths and tell me what happened. Just look right at me and you can do it." Gibbs says turning her chair to face him.
"No, not yet, I need Bert. I have to have Bert."
"Tony, go get Bert."Gibbs starts to say but the man is already on his way out the door.
"Here Abby eat this. You need to get some strength back."Ziva says handing her the plate of food. They start to eat in quite. After a half a sandwich, Abby looks up and says, "It wasn't your fault Ziva that I had that a panic attack. I was the one who wanted to play that dumb game anyway."
"We shouldn't have pushed you once you said you didn't want to play anymore. Here's Bert." Tony says walking back into the room with the scarf covered hippo.
"Why does Bert have your scarf on Abs?" Gibbs asks suddenly remembering how Abby was acting in the morning.
"He doesn't like days like today. I didn't want him to get cold."
"Why doesn't Bert like the cold Abby?" Gibbs asks as Abby pulls Bert closer releasing a very loud fart into the room.
"Tell me Bert," Tony tries a new tactic, "Why don't you like days like today?"
"Bad things happen on days like today Tony. A bad thing happened." Abby answered holding Bert up in front of her.
"Abby what happened to you when it was cold?" Gibbs asks, but the only answer he gets is a loud fart from the stuffed animal.
"Bert, what happened to Abby when she was twelve and it was cold?" Ziva asks softly.
"He tricked her. He didn't tell her what he was going to do. He hurt her so bad."
"How did he hurt her Bert?" Gibbs asks softly, finally realizing that the only way Abby can talk about something so horrible is through the animal.
"She didn't know what was really happening. She didn't know what he wanted. She didn't know what it would do." Abby answers burying her face in the soft fur of her talking companion.
"What did she not know about Bert? I am her friend Bert; you can tell me so I can help her." Ziva says slowly stroking the stuffed pets head.
"She had never been told about what would happen. She didn't know it would hurt so much. She just wanted him to stop pestering her so much."
Closing his eyes and slowly swallowing Gibbs asks, "Did Scott force himself into Abby, Bert?"
Abby just nods her head yes and softly cries.
Angry tears burn down the face of Ziva. Tim looks like he wants to throw up and Tony looks like he just wants to throw something. Gibbs gently pulls the sobbing woman closer to him and softly hums a lullaby into her hair as she burrows her head to his chest.
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A/N—Thank you for your patience. The next chapter will be just as dark and hard to write. Then the sun always comes out, for both Abby and me.