I wake to a soft knock on the door. I blink my eyes trying to adjust to the room. I forget for a moment where I am. The events of the night before creep into my memory. Today is my wedding day. I am suppose to be happy, I am I guess. Georg is a good man and I love the children as if they were my own. I know he loves me and will take care of me. I hear the knock again and slowly walk to the door.

"Good Morning Maria, I trust you slept well" Reverend Mother says.

"Yes Mother I did.

"I am going to morning prayers if you would like to join me"

I think quickly. I have no need for prayer now. God doesn't listen , at least to me.

" No thank you Mother. I would like to freshen up. I will go in a little while"

" Very well, my dear I will see you at breakfast" she says as she leaves.

I know I should not have lied to her. I just can't go to pray. I would consider myself a hypocrite. I know that when we marry I will be in church and yes I will take my vows seriously but as far as God is concerned I am still too angry to forgive him. I go the bathroom to dress and go to breakfast.

I go to my room after breakfast to ready myself for the wedding. A couple of the novices, which I had become friendly with, come to my room to help me dress. The time it seems goes by quickly. The Reverend Mother comes to my room. She studies me and smiles.

" How beautiful you look Maria"

" Thank you Mother" as I look in the mirror for the first time. I am surprised at myself. The dress is indeed beautiful and I look at myself realizing there is no turning back. She places a wreath of laurel, a sign of virginity, on my head and helps me to fix my veil. The mistress of novices comes to the door and tells me that it is time. She informs me that the Captain and the children are at the church. I kneel for the final blessing.

I am led to the church by the nuns of the abbey with Reverend Mother leading the way. They cannot sit inside the church, as they are a cloistered order, but inform me that they are able to watch from the side behind the gates that separate the abbey from the church. I reach the back of the church where I see all of the girls waiting for me. Martina hands me my bouquet. The two youngest are flower girls and proceed up the aisle as the music begins to play. I look up to the alter where I see Georg waiting. He is dressed in his naval uniform. A smile forms on my lips as I think to myself how dashing he looks. A strange sensation washes over me as I begin to walk towards him. I did not know it at the time but it was the beginning feelings of love.

The wedding ceremony begins and the sacred vows are taken. I vow to be his wife until the day when one of us dies. Again I take the vows seriously. We are declared man and wife. Georg, not one for public displays of affection, lightly kisses me on the cheek. The reception is held at the villa. There I was introduced to Austrian society. Everyone there was pleasant but I knew that most of them still did not approve of me, after all I was not one of them. Georg was very sweet. He never left my side the entire time. Soon came time for us to go. We kissed the children goodbye and left for the honeymoon. Georg explained that we were going to Vienna for a week.

We boarded the train and took our seats in a private seating area. I felt awkward at first being alone with him for the first time. He opened the curtain so I could take in the view. The Austrian countryside was beautiful at this time of the year. Everything was covered in snow.

" I thought that while we were in Vienna we could do some Christmas shopping for the children, it's only one month away you know"

" Yes I know, I have their lists of what they asked the Christ child for"

" I also thought that you would like to see some concerts while we are there. I bought tickets for a concert featuring some of Mozart's best works"

" That would be wonderful. I have never been to a formal concert before"

He took my hand and kissed it. I felt slightly nervous as I was unsure what to do next. As if reading my thoughts Georg lightly kissed me. His lips were warm and soft and as I had never been kissed by a man before I was unsure of what to do. His hand went to my cheek and I felt the same sensation I had first felt in the church only this time it was stronger. This time it felt as if I had a million butterflies in my stomach. He pulled away from me and smiled.

" We are going to take our relationship slow. I know you have no experience with men. I want you to feel comfortable with me. But know that I love you and I will never hurt you"

I am extremely touched by the sincerity of his words. His eyes show me that he means what he says. He kisses me again and I feel myself respond . It only lasts a few seconds but I did respond. I lean into his side as he puts his arms around me. I have never felt so safe in my entire life.