Chapter Four- So Contagious
Author's Note: This chapter is a little longer. So long in fact, that I've been forced to split it in two to make it more manageable for you guys to get everything lol.
Quick note, I don't know if anyone's aware of Rogue from Wolverine and the Xmen, but effectively that's something that heavily influenced what Nessie's childhood powers eventually developed into alongside her physical development –in my head anyway. It works within canon. I took the liberty to build upon what sm supplied us with, so call it a creative embellishment of sorts, on my part. Unless of course, someone accuses me of stealing this too. *rolls eyes.
I actually have a chapter written out of the family freaking out and dragging Eleazar down for answers. I'm planning on putting this in my focal fic though: APitW.
Also, if anyone's interested I've recently watched Tristan and Isolde and wept like a fool. I am now in love with James Franco and think he'd be an amazinnng Nahuel in my head. aha. :D
Any confusions, please let me know. Any questions, feel free to ask. :) Also, please let me know what you think and I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: You know the score. I absolutely own nothinggg! 'cept maybe the weird scenarios in my head. But then…apparently they're not even mine. *shrugs.
***
'The true genius at incompleteness- and usually prefers silence to saying something which is not everything it should be…'
Edgar Allan Poe
***
Before I could so much as breathe, a snarling Edward darted into the room –a grey-blue blur, and wrapped a powerful arm around my comparatively small frame, forcibly pushing me back. In fact, so taken aback was I, that my aberrant capabilities in steadying myself were lost in that very instant. Even under the control of my dad's protective arms -in him attempting to assist me with my balance, I was still a shallow pool of dizzying nerves. My mind was literally swimming in confusion. Both he and Jasper stood on either side of me, a mixture of hostility and unease carved on their features.
My father must've seen what I had previously seen through my eyes. He saw her as well. Dad simply cocked his head slightly to the right in response to my private speculations, to form an ambiguous nod directed my way.
They scanned the backwoods, careful not to miss anything.
Outside, I noticed Emmett and Esme in the heavy shower, getting entirely drenched as they searched through the dimly lit thicket surrounding our home. In my ten-year existence, I'd never seen my beloved grandmother so…vehement. It was unusual to say the least, but I considered that the Cullen matriarch was instinctually protective of her young. And I loved her more than she could know for that.
So many things were happening all at once. I was vaguely aware of distant, unclear murmurings coming from somewhere downstairs -of a phone conversation Nahuel was having. He was conversing with my mother.
"I know." My father stated quietly to Jasper after a silent moment wrought with tension. I could only assume he was responding to my uncle's silent thoughts.
"We need to leave, Edward. Soon." Jasper continued, barely audible with one large arm leant against the window, seeming to prop himself against the window wall, while the other resided casually in his pocket. By we, he of course meant getting me to leave the country, escorted by both my uncles. His preternatural beauty remained in tact in his quietly stern perusal of the dense foliage outside. I knew this was Jasper's territory. Someone was trying to attack the family. His family. And I knew deep down that despite feeling different from everyone else, Jasper and I had that much in common.
I noticed my father's eyes widen as he quietly considered my thoughts. With me clearly still being in slight shock, my thought processes around my dad in particular were going to be sloppy.
"Do you see what we mean now, Nessie?" My father asked in quite grit, his eyes venomously fixed, refusing to leave the forest.
We? I thought it was only my father who wanted me to leave.
"You see how I can't possibly have you here? Why Jacob can't have you here?"
I stared at him, slightly taken aback. Perhaps it was my previous fifty-two hours spent at the hospital, but my responses and quick thinking were slacking. Edward chose to continue scowling at the forest; his usually striking eyes a hue of black I never knew existed. Frankly it distressed me.
Jacob?
What did he mean by that? Jacob wanted me to leave too? Of course he did. I knew Jacob all too well. Over the previous decade that constituted for my brief childhood, he had always taken it upon himself to act as my guardian angel, or rather an overprotective, overbearing playmate.
Like an emotional floodgate, a painful pierce of longing at the mere thought of what Jake had done for me over the years, consumed every part of me. It was an unruly ache, a thirst, a craving I couldn't explain, nor ignore.
And I was very aware of it in recent years.
My need for Jacob had always been there, from the very beginning. In fact, I was also aware that Clare Young could possibly be the only other who could understand such a thing.
She too, I observed in my visits to La Push over the years, was apparently incapable of playing, eating, or sleeping without Quil being there to either make her laugh, feed her, or lull her into a decorous slumber.
When I would wordlessly watch in my many, but brief visits, smiling at a sleeping Clare's face, wanting to dip myself into her dreams –a reverse of what I could already do. I would look over at the two, and he would look as if he resided in a world of complete bliss, holding her tightly to himself.
Jacob insisted he missed doing that with me -lulling my to sleep…
I grimaced. Vanquishing that specific exchange between Jake and I to the back of my mind, this of course, was Clare as a child. Now however, thirteen-year-old Clare Young had grown into a beautiful swan, unbeknown to C-Bear, with boys fawning for her left, right and centre.
I felt sad for my friend.
Right now, I could only imagine that she, no doubt, would be experiencing a dreadful plight over her beloved companion. He was still hurt after all.
I frowned as I realised that's exactly what i was doing. My thoughts were back on Jake. I could understand he wanted to keep me safe. I loved him irrevocably for that. But to haul me all the way to Europe? I was unsure how to feel about that. If my leaving was indeed Jacob's idea, then what did that say about his perception of me? Was I still a pampered child who needed to be wrapped in a secure, cosseted bubble of …powerful vampires? Supernatural bodyguards?
Then of course there was him not wanting me here. Irrational as I knew it to be, I was hurt by that development.
Edward tore his eyes from the forest to look at me just then. Abruptly, I was all too aware he was still waiting patiently for me to answer him. So shoving that unpleasant thought aside, I simply nodded mechanically, observing from within the safe confines of our window wall, how my grandmother darted into the suspicious woodland, disappearing from our views completely.
I was about to protest, noting Emmett coming back inside. "She'll be fine." My dad responded to my barely processed concerns. "Esme is better off without Emmett getting influenced by this nomad and causing a difficult situation to escalate further."
Of course. If uncle Em followed suit, and they did bump into this killer, then she could easily use this to her advantage, influencing Emmett to turn on Esme.
So then what stopped her from coming into this house? I was surrounded by men, after all.
"It's all a game to her—toying with others is amusing." Dad responded quietly. I didn't miss the silent resentment hiding beneath the surface. This was all so overwhelming.
"Edward," A distinctly male voice called from behind. We all turned to face a grim faced Nahuel extending his phone for dad, "It's Bella. She wants to talk."
My father merely nodded -a little mechanically, before grabbing the proffered phone. Prior to him leaving the room however, he exchanged a knowing look with uncle Jazz. "Jasper-"
"I know, Edward." Uncle Jazz interrupted, turning to look at dad. I could tell he was communicating with my father silently. "Keep her where I can see her. Don't let her go anywhere on her own." He breathed after a drawn out moment.
Now as much as I appreciated their concern, I really thought this was all unnecessary. She could've attacked me if she wanted to. Other then grams her to protect me, I was pretty much offered to her on a plate.
So, great. What am I, Cod-liver? I thought a little bitterly to myself. It was a thought I couldn't really help thinking. It was also a thought I instantly regretted. The air after all, was thick with tension and tapered with indecision. I didn't want to stress anyone further. Not with my pointless, winging hissy fits.
Dad smiled appreciatively at Jasper before patting Nahuel on the back as he passed him. My uncle simply returned to gazing through the heavy rain at the mutedly lit forest.
"Bella?" Dad began. I didn't miss the silent need for my mother in his voice as he exited the room and headed into granddad's private study on the floor above us. With my innate aptitude in hearing from a great distance, I could still take notice of the tension filled conversation exchanged between them both. "No she's fine, love. She's okay." He began to soothe. "No. No sign as yet." There was a brief pause. "Perhaps an attempt at a pre-emptive attack." Another annoying pause. "Bella, yes. That would be a good idea. Notify Jake. He'll want to know. Yes." Another pause. "She did see Embry watching over the house. I think it's wise for you all to come back." He paused again, "I'm aware that other than Esme, she's surrounded by possible attackers, Bella."
I inwardly grimaced at the thought of my own family attacking me. No. I wouldn't think like that.
"No. That's fine. If that'll ease your mind, then it's fine to comb the surrounding woodland around the house." Another amazingly annoying drawn out pause. "Bella, I love you too. Just come back to me soon."
I collapsed onto my bed then, burying my face in my hands. It felt like the roof was caving in and it was all coming crash down on me. She was here. Watching me? But…why? Embry was out there. I was sure of it. So then, where was Jake?
"Everything's going to be okay, Caramelo."
I felt the weight shift on my bed and a large arm wrap securely around my shoulders, pulling me into their side. "Things will be okay." Nahuel whispered.
I sighed and reluctantly tore away from my hands to look up and find him smiling reassuringly. I didn't miss the soft seriousness, the honesty in his words. In fact, perhaps it was the years of knowing Nahuel that proliferated the cynic in me, but I was momentarily flawed by how earnestly he delivered himself.
I tried to reply with a smile that could match his, but something told me it looked more like a grimace. "I won't let her get you." He teased as he observed me trying to come up with a reassuring response.
In any case, I snorted at that one. Rather unnecessarily, I took advantage of Nahuel's hand innocently skimming against the side of my arm: Yeah, right.
Wordlessly, we both turned to look out into the woods. Our reflections on the window wall opposite the bed stared back at us, unseeing.
Nahuel and I matched in so many ways, physically. In these extreme circumstances, I would've thought I had the added advantage considering I wasn't born with a Y chromosome determining maleness, something that apparently made me immune to this slut-bag-whore.
His reflection grinned light-heartedly at me. He wanted to cheer me up and get my mind off things.
I took his hand, and squeezed it appreciatively. "I don't need a hero, Nahuel." I replied back softly.
I just needed Jake. Though whether they were both the same thing however, was beside the point right now...
He smirked. "Claro que sí. Sure."
"I'm thinking in this case, I'm better off against her than you anyway." I teased, reiterating my silent thoughts out loud.
"Perhaps." He conceded after a few silent moments of consideration. "But we'll never know, because you're not going out there."
"Hmm."
We'll see.
***
After finding absolutely no trail –something relatively impossible for my family- grandma returned after an hour or so, not wanting to leave me with a house full of men. Something I found quite amusing, regardless of the severity of the situation. It just…sounded so ridiculous.
Excluding Jasper, who was apparently now the shadow I silently wished Peter Pan could adopt, she joined my father and the rest downstairs, strategically planning -something I always thought was Jasper's area of expertise.
Actually, I made sure he knew this, in my lame attempts to tempt him in to joining them downstairs. However, my impossible uncle literally refused to leave my side. I didn't know whether this was under the stringent orders of Colonel Masen or what, but it was grating on me now. As if being under house arrest wasn't bad enough, having a preternatural bodyguard who could mess with your serotonin levels was just humiliating.
Sensing a rain of impossibly insufferable, infuriated emotions no doubt, my uncle cocked his head and just smirked. He was sprawled comfortably on my white sofa with his hands behind his head. It would've been considered a really comfortable pose, though apparently a superfluous habit for vampires to lounge, considering they didn't tire. I knew he was totally feigning being in relax-mode for my sake. And because of this, I knew it was hard to stay mad at my family for too long. They did this because they cared. It was frustrating, yes, but overbearing as they sometimes were, they usually had good intentions for their seemingly neurotic precautions.
Occasionally when he thought I wasn't looking through my peripheral, he'd inspect the woods again. He always wore an impossibly stern look on his perfect features when he was like this. A bit like daddy, only scarey. But conversely, that was also another interesting thing about Jasper Whitlock. Suffice to say, I actually loved being around my uncle and spending time with him because he was something I hadn't quite figured out yet. I mean, these conflicting, confusing, pent up feelings that I have, I can't imagine them simply going unnoticed. And yet, he says nothing. Doesn't even tease me. I'm not complaining, but as he's getting everything first hand, it just makes me wonder what he must think of me. Then of course, there's the awkward case of my father. Not only can he hear me, but he feels everything Jasper feels eminating -second hand- from me too. To him, I'm officially an open book. Yet he too, hasn't approached me about any of this.
Strange.
I thought that perhaps it's simply because there's nothing to talk to me about. That this is somehow normal. Or maybe they're giving me an opportunity to redeem myself...
I eyed him again a little dubiously. Over a hundred years of life, many of those years consisting mainly of warfare, I often wandered what went on in that head of his. Perhaps dad had instructed him to simply overlook this new found flaw of mine regarding my apparently wierd, borderline incestuous feelings for Jake. Granted, I wouldn't blame either of them if this were the case.
Jasper continued to observe the thick blanket of muted darkness outside. His amber eyes were unusually distant and hazy, as if he were lost, deep in thought himself.
It was because of this, that sometimes, I thought Jasper was a riddle wrapped comfortably in an enigma. Something told me he preffered it like that too.
"What are you thinking?" He asked, quietly, not looking away from the curtain of black surrounding one side of the room.
Quickly, like a child caught out for snooping, I whipped my head back to what I was reading -boring case studies. Freaking licensure exams. "Err...contemplating whether a Liger really is bred for its skills in magic." I lied.
There was long, drawn out pause.
I chanced a peep.
He didn't look impressed. Was he unimpressed with the rain? Doubted that. "Yep. That Napolean is crazy." I added a little sheepishly.
He smirked and tore his eyes away to regard me. "What's wrong, Nessie?"
"Hmm?" I blinked. "Me? I'm just great." Why was he worrying about me when I was perfectly safe inside, whilst my mother, aunt and his wife were out there, scouring the surroudings?
"Just peachy." He raised a sardonic brow and narrowed his eyes. I didn't realise I was being so obvious. "Seriously..." I continued feebly.
Again, he didn't look impressed.
I made a mental note to practise more in front of the mirror. "Ugh. The usual." I finally confessed, giving up. "Some nasty bizatch is out to get me and my family- for absolutely no reason- and I'm sitting here, looking pretty. To make matters worse, my mother's out there refusing to stop until she finds this thing- risking her life for me- and my..." I frowned, the next words not quite coming out. I swallowed back the painful lump and momentarily confused, stuttered out: "...Jacob and the pack are fighting a losing battle.."
It was true. It really seemed like this was impossible.
Conscious to the fact that I was currently an open book splayed out for him to read, I looked up at my uncle hesitantly then. It was beyond humiliating, beyond embarrassing, that he knew every minute, morsel of hormonally driven urges, surging through my veins like a freight train. I came to realise from an early age however, that my dignity was lost to me the day Edward dragged my terrified, naked form out of my mother- my much missed sanctuary. Bella, I remember, was the best bed ever. Incidentally, things turned a little sour when I was drowning inside her and she wouldn't stop moving and screaming.
"Renesmee?"
Jasper's voice interrupted my digressing thoughts. He looked expectantly at me, yet his eyes were equally worried for some reason. I can't imagine why. I was fine. I was safely locked away in hiding. It was everyone else outside that concerned me.
"You look awful." He commented quietly. "Really awful."
His observation momentarily knocked me for six, but I couldn't help sighing despondently. His blunt words, intending to convey his concern, merely depressed me further. I couldn't say I blamed him for his bluntness though. For a few hours now, I had been quite happily avoiding all reflective surfaces offering me my reflection. Happily avoiding the truth. "Thank you." I replied graciously, "I'm sure that's going to do wonders for my already boasting self-esteem..."
Indeed, it would do. Growing up in a house abundant of beautiful people seemed to give rise to some form of inferiority complex within me.
"But, you do." He continued, more seriously now.
"I didn't question or doubt your observation."
"Well, can I ask why you look the way you do?"
Was I really that bad?
"No, really...don't hold back, uncle Jazz." I scorned. Again, he was worried and I knew this. At least, that's what I kept telling myself. I was sure if my mother or my aunts were here, they'd assert the same concerned parental role too.
He ignored me. "My point is, your general appearence is worrying. When was the last time you slept? Or ate for that matter?"
I laughed incredulously now. "Are you telling me you've forgotten the time little over twelve hours ago, when you joined in on the conspiracy my parents are currently obsessing over? The one where you helped knock me out?" I was all too aware this was something he still hadn't apologised for.
He smiled grimly. "I was referring to before that time. Your natural sleeping pattern."
That was all over the place, but I didn't want to go into it right now. More pressing matters to dwell on.
"...And Bella could recognise you needed a rest, so I felt obliged to..."
"Sedate me." I offered, coolly. I was still so bitter about that, that it was juvenile. The fact that he nodded, with very little remorse on his features didn't help issues.
"I sensed things were taking their toll on you, and did what I had to do, to prevent you from keeling over."
I resented that. Yes, things were overwhelming me, but I could handle it. Indeed, I was about to protest, but he stopped me with one gesticulation of his hand. "Instead of arguing with me, why not just tell me what's really bothering you, Renesmee?"
Things fell dramatically silent then. I opened my mouth to say something, but immediately closed it. I didn't know what to say to that. Obviously, we knew that was really bothering me, but I was irrationally furious and equally humiliated at the same time. Furious because I was so annoyingly obvious and predictable, and humiliated because I knew we weren't alone in this conversation. Without thinking to do so, my prodigious audible range picked up on slight movements downstairs. Movements that clearly feigned uninterest for this conversation, which was coinsidentally occurring right above for the little eavesdroppers.
My eyes flashed back to Jasper. He was so calm, so understanding, despite picking up on the torment that was of course emanating from me, like the deluge of rain outside.
And like the unfathomable downpour outside, I let it all out then. "I'm just...this whole situation... I can't see us winning. I can't see you and Ali disappearing and finding our salvation." I heard Nahuel chuckle lightly from somewhere below us, but I ignored it. "I can't seem to not think about my family's safety and I can't seem to shift this eerie sense of de ja vu, uncle Jazz. That weird feeling at the pit of my stomach, sensing-
"...something bad is coming." He finished for me. I let out an exhausted sigh and was secretly relieved I didn't have to say that part out aloud. "I know that feeling all too well." He continued, "You've been feeling like that for over a month now. Strange. Even before we found out about this Nayha, you seemed to know 'something bad was coming...' I wonder if it's your subconscious warning you in advance of future dangers... Hmm. I've never heard of prophetic emotions. Certainly, the instinctual fight or flight responces, yes. But this exudes more, Nessie."
I shrugged, brushing off the ceaseless awe always evident in evey family member when they talk about my wierd capabilites. When I was growing up, we all thought that there was no rhyme or reason behind what I could do. Along side other things, the natural gifts I was born with, with exerted practise, I could momentarily reverse them. This confused Edward and my granddad. "It's a gift and a curse." I mused.
For the first time that night, amusement lit up the amber flecks in his eyes. "What else is bothering you?"
"Nothing. I've said all I need to say."
He eyed me sceptically. "Ellaborate then."
Sensing he wouldn't let this go, I reluctantly continued. "I mean, I guess things could be worse. Mom could be sending me away...with money and two tickets to wherever it is I'm meant to flee to. But...Oh wait. I guess it's dad's turn to play mom." That mental note I made earlier was instantly notched up to second place on my things-to-do list when I got home to Seattle. My first, being a mountian of laundry that was desperately craving some attention.
I examined my uncle apprehensively. Still, he said nothing, waiting for me to get it off my chest. In all honesty, I hadn't realised there was more to say until Jasper's profile began to become annoyingly obscured. It was then that I noticed the deluge of tears that were now falling like a torrent down my face, down past my trembling lips and hitting my iron clasped hands, which were on my lap.
"And..." he prodded gently, wanting me to obviously continue.
"And...I'm scared. Petrified actually." I choked, wiping the idiot tears away. God, how many times had I cried already?
"I can see that." Jasper said softly, "But interestingly not for your own life?"
I shook my head slowly, trying to figure out how to answer his next question this the best way I knew how. "I'm scared for Jake." I confessed. Really, I should be petrified for everyone, not just him, but knowing that this thing has taken to an unnatural fascination with him, how could I not? How could I not be fiercely responsive to that fact? It felt like I couldn't breathe. "I know what you must think of me." I said quietly. Like a coward, rather than looking straight at him, I focused my attention on a patch of white carpet three inches away from his left foot. "I know you pick up on things from me... even whenever anyone mentions his name..." I looked up at him then, determined to see this through. I was surpsied to see him look confused, amused and slightly taken aback by the whole sorry excuse for an explanation. "I just want you to know I know it's wrong and I'm trying to fix it. I'm working on it-"
His quiet laugh interrupted me, "Nessie, stop." I observed in mild shock as he sniggered to himself before shaking his head. He took in my bewildered expression and most likely thought that perhaps I expected a different reaction from him. He'd be right in thinking it.
In fact, something along the lines of 'major awkwardness,' would be understandable. "Nessie, I'm sure you're aware of..." He broke off, struggling to word something. I knew this all too well. Jasper was in Tutor-mode. "There are things in this world, that you've yet to fully... know of. Things you won't be able to explain with simple facts and figures, with statistics or the sciences... there are things simply out of our control. Instinctual things. Unexpected things."
I nodded, trying to go with the flow, but if I'm honest, he lost me when he first adressed me. Sensing my confusion, he laughed a little uncomfortably. Despite the obvious discomfort that I didn't quite understand, it was a beautifully infectious sound- something I sometimes struggled to wrap my head around. It was simply beautiful and warm and familiar. In essence, it reminded me of my childhood. A time when all I could really hear was laughter emanating from all corners of the house, usually at the expense of yours truly.
"Oh. That's enigmatic. That's textbook enigmatic."
He bit his lips, trying to supress the extent of his humour from the looks of it. "Please ellaborate?" I requested. I needed to know what he was trying to imply with his ambiguous explanation. It was making my head hurt.
"Er...well...Love." He answered. Again, i didn't miss how strangely, uncharacterstically squirmy he was being. "For example." He added as an after thought. "Sometimes we can't explain why we feel certain things, but we know there's usually a reason behind it..." He trailed off, not wanting to say anything further. "Just know you have nothing to expplain to me, Nessie. What you feel...they're you're own. Never feel that you need to justify anything to me... I'm just sorry your father and I can't give you the much needed privacy during this time of...confusion for you. For what it's worth, we're not judging you. We don't hate you. What you feel... it should never be construed as something wrong or disgusting."
Before, when I thought I was confused... that was nothing to how I felt now. What was he trying to say? That I shouldn't feel bad for feeling the way I did for Jake? Okay, that was obvious.
"Do you believe in fate, Renesmee?"
I had to think about that one. "I do."
"Why?"
"Because everyone in this house is proof, in my opinion, that fate supplied a helping hand. Take you and aunt Ali for example." Jasper raised a curious brow, but was more attentive than ever. "Well, she saw you at that diner. You and you alone. Her future. And then you...you just had a strange feeling you had to be there, right? You felt a much needed change in your life. In your diet..."
He grinned, lost down memory lane right now. I thought I'd let him have a moment as I was all too aware of their love story. Jasper had found Alice waiting patiently for him at a diner in Philadelphia because she had seen him in a vision. Of her future. He was her future.
"You remember the story I told you?" He asked, looking at me and flashing what my mother called a dazzling smile.
Of course I did. Alongside Tennyson's works, it was one of my favourate bedtime stories, so, I nodded. "Yes sir. Alice said 'It's about time you showed up. You kept me waiting.' And then you said something along the lines of 'I'm sorry ma'am.' Because you couldn't be impolite to a lady.'" I laughed. It sounded more like a giggle. "I love it. She told you about the Cullens and their diet. You went with her and you both...fell in love. That's just so...romantic, uncle Jazz!" I sighed.
He flashed another dazzling grin, clearly transported back to another time, another place. "The best day of my life was meeting your aunt in that diner. Aside from meeting another little lady with a set of lungs on her when she wanted her mother to hold her of course. Such a brat, even back then." He teased. "What else?"
I remembered Rose and uncle Em's unique story. Rosalie had saved him from a near-death bear mauling and literally carried his large form a hundred miles to where my father and the family resided at the time. She did so in the hopes that granddad could change him in time because she felt she didn't have the self control or the capabilities to do so herself. "Rosie saved uncle Em." I answered simply. Despite the obvious pain and the extreme difficulties, my aunt just had to save the man who reminded her of a little boy she always longed for. I recall the words she had used years ago when she had inadvertantly intergected my path to the freezer in the middle of the night and decided to narrate her story. At the time, I was far too tired to protest and ended up slumped on the island listening to her enthralling story whilst casually sipping some warm O negative. "With those dark curls...the dimples that showed even while he grimaced in pain...the strange innocence that seemed so out of place on a grown man's face...he reminded me so much of Vera's little Henry."
"He didn't have to fall in love with her once he woke up, but he did. That story kind of reminds me of Sleeping Beauty." I mused out loud. Every visit to La Push, Claire would literally make me sit through it, threatening to not eat for a week if I didn't appreciate Disney's originals. "Emmett being Princess Aurora though." I finished.
"Huh." Jasper's voice wobbled in amusement. "Make sure you let him know that, honey. He'd love that."
"But then, who wouldn't fall in love with Aunt Rose, I mean...c'mon...she's just..."
Jasper's quiet laugh interrupted my babble again, and he fell back against the white sofa with a loud 'thump.' "What?" I asked, confused.
"Edward." He replied, looking up at me in amusement.
What about him?
"You asked, 'who wouldn't fall for Rose.' Well, the answer is your dad."
For a moment I didn't really know how to react to this new little tidbit. After registering it however, I think I just laughed in disbelief.
Ew. Edward and Rosie? Dad and my Aunt who was practically my 'Other Mother?'
I mean, I was aware my family all have their own history- some centuries old- belonging before their ever was a Cullen clan to even speak ofm but picturing my father with another woman- a life before my mother- I frowned. It was disgruntling for me.
"Carlisle turned her originally for Edward. He was worried for him- being so alone- and wanted him to have someone too apparently."
I mentally shuddered at that. Whilst I knew granddad had good intentions, and I was sad daddy had to wait so long for mom, I couldn't help 'ew-ing' at it. Good things come to those who wait.
"From day one, they couldn't stand eachother though." Uncle Jazz continued, "Always at eachother's throats. Always squabbling. The way siblings do. They only ever care for eachother in that sense..."
I considered this new information and didn't quite know what to do with it. "Huh. Did not know that..."
He smiled. "What else?"
Relieved at the change of subject, "Grampa saved Grams." Actually, Esme first met Carlisle, at the age of sixteen, after breaking her leg while playing in a tree. Coinsidentally a decade later, in a bid to hide from an abusive relationship and begin a new life with the child she was carrying, she had moved into the very same town granddad was currently working in. I always thought this wasn't simply coincidence.
Thought dead from the fall, my grandfather had saved her by declaring her dead at the scene and immediately taking her dying form to the morgue where he would later change her in a bid to alleviate her suffering. "She was so sad after she lost her baby...and he gave her three sons and daughters for all eternity." I finally announced. Whilst it hurt to think of my grandmother -my loving grandmother, was ever so distaught, experiencing a pain that made her so desperate to end her own misery on a clifface, it occured to me that Carlisle had offered her a life full of love, of family and bonds that were virtually unbreakable. He gave her sons and daughters for all eternity and I couldn't help smiling at that thought.
Though I knew she had suffered a loss no mother should ever have to suffer, I was glad they, my grandparents, eventually found eachother. Albeit the circumstances were awful, but they found eachother. And whilst I knew we could never replace the little baby boy she yearned to protect, a child she had lost to an agressive lung infection days after his premature birth, we were the Cullens. We loved each other just as fiercely and shared a bond as any biological family would share.
"Don't foget a grandchild." Jasper casually interrupted my private musings.
"Huh?"
"You forget yourself too often, Renesmee."
A slight overlook. "Oh. Yeah. Right. A grandchild too. So that leaves mom and dad..." Interestingly, there was very little about their story that I knew. "All I know is the year mom decided not to visit grandpa Charlie anymore, was the year you guys decided to reside in Forks. Had dad met her earlier, she would've been way too young for him to have romantic feelings for her...Maybe they wouldn't've loved eachother that way. Then I wouldn't've happened and let's face it- that in itself is a great loss to the world."
"Of course," He humoured me.
"Who else would have midnight drag races with Emmett?" Unbeknown to Edward, who, when they weren't attending night classes, was usually preoccupied with mom round about this time. In my head, this meant playing a gripping game of all night Go Fish. Nothing else. Nothing else.
"Me." Jasper replied a little on the indulgent side. "But Emmett likes beating you. Makes him feel good."
I ignored him, "Who else would want to help Grams in the garden when no one else wants to get their pretty hands dirty?"
"Oho. You like helping her, Nessie. And as I recall, she never actually asks for help. She's perfectly content tending to it all by herself. She enjoys it. In fact, it's you who usually messes her flower beds up, pruning the wrong things, but for some reason, she likes you babbling away when she's tending to her roses."
Again, I ignored him and the sensation of violent red washing over my face and neck. I didn't know I couldn't prune. "Who else would go giddy shoe shopping with Ali? Or help Rosie with tuning the cars?"
He snorted.
"All because fate helped momma delay her imminent stay at Forks. So, yeah. It was all about the timing for those two crazy kids."
"Okay." He slowly conceded, the obvious amusement in his voice not going anywhere. I frowned at that. "Interesting. I don't think anyone's actually picked up on that... huh. Interesting." He repeated, more to himself.
"I don't know." I shrugged. Of course I knew of the vampires that were after my human mother, but I didn't really know of their love story. The specfics. "When I can stomach the details, I'll ask them one day..."
"Understandable."
"Yup. So, everyone's story entails fate or a helping hand of some sort... It's because of you guys, I believe that soulmates exist in the first place actually."
Jasper smiled warmly from where he was sitting then. I didn't overlook the paranoia he was trying to hide as he swept the woods periodically, though. "You'll get to write your own story one day, Nessie. I promise."
"Hmm. Maybe." I wasn't going to hold my breath. That way, less dissapointment.
"You're only ten. How can that amount of cynicism emanate from a young'n like you?" He shook his head in disbelief as I tried my best to wipe away my embarassment again. I forgot he could feel that.
"I'm aware that time means very little for our kind, but I have to ask..." He continued, ignoring my swelling redness. It's like eating pringles. Once I start, I can't stop. "When you see yourself in another ten years time, Renesmee... Where will you be? What are you doing? Who are you with? What do you feel?"
For a brief moment, I considered his questions and I honestly didn't know. I'd like to say, I was in a great place in my life. Being twenty, for a hybrid was like hitting middle age.
I snorted at that. Middle age. My mother hadn't hit middle age yet. The same couldn't be said for daddy though.
On a serious note, being married with at least one kid at that age was simply a bizarre, unrealistic concept for me, but one I'd secretly love to see myself in. Was it wrong for me to want that? Certainly, it was strange. Not because twenty is young for a girl to not only get married but have a child, because I'm sure the masses would most likely agree, but if I'm honest with myself, it would be like judging Bella for choosing to have me at such a young age.
So, no. I didn't care so much about that. Not only because of mom, but because really, it didn't apply to me. The age thing that is. Not to the extent it would a normal human girl. I was after all, a completely unchanging, unageing immortal now.
What I supposed was unlikely and bizarre for me about that whole married-with-child concept was the fact I was immortal, and I resented the idea of history repeating itself and for me to fall head over heels with a human. I wouldn't do that to an innocent. Condemn him to a life of this all in the name of love?
I didn't judge or fault my father as I don't think you can really help who you fall for. Humans however, were just out of the question for me as -if they chose to love me and continue loving me- they in turn, would become vampires. And for some reason, I found vampires strangely unnattractive. They just did nothing for me. I think it's partly because I'm reminded often of dad, Emmett and Jasper everytime I look at one -so all vampire-boys are just...no.
So then who does that leave me with? No humans. No vampires. So what, shifters?
I snorted at that too. Hell would freeze over before one of the guys from Jake's pack found a daughter of a vampire attractive. Particularly one that defined the word overbearing, read minds and would most likely check out their personal and/or criminal records to satisfy his own curiosities. Most guys would run a mile.
Then of course there are boys of my own kind. Nahuel to be more specific. I'm aware that there's a much anticipated romantic stigma associated with my friendship with Nahuel. Mainly a candle held by Rose.
This was initially amusing- entertaining even. But it now bothers me.
As much as I love him, I can't fall for him. Not for the reasons the mass expect for us to. I'm the only female of our kind that isn't related to him and vice versa. Does that somehow justify us being together? Would anyone even call that love? Was that fair for either of us? The answer to all three is a sincere, emphatic, unequivocal no.
To a closet romantic like me, it just seems too convinient of a love. By default, we get eachother? No. We both deserve better than that. Should a day come when and if we genuinely fall for one another, then that would be nice, but personally, I just can't see it ever happening. We love eachother as friends should. Solely platonically.
So my surfiet of problems in the love department- of future marriage is mainly contiguous to the fact that I really do doubt i'll ever find it.
At the back of my mind, there was another thought regarding my decade-later scenario. Despite having regular menstrual cycles, I just wasn't sure my unchanging body was capable of carrying a child to full trimester. Then of course I knew of my peers. Giselle, Aina and Maya who are all noticeably older than me, yet have chosen to live a life much like aunt Tanya's and the Denali coven. They had a soft spot for human men. And to my knowledge, had no interest in creating a family. Amazingly, they didn't even know if it was even possible for them. Something that -to this day- amazes me. Giselle, the oldest out of the sisters, has more than sixty years on me, and she doesnt know if she can bare children, despite having regular cycles.
It was all just so depressing.
"When you answer these, you'll be more aware of how much more clearer things are ...how things are more obvious for you. Perhaps a little perspective is needed to gain a bit of clarification, I don't know." He shrugged.
Feeling more confused and abased than ever, I let my thoughts slip back to more pleasent things. Like what happened over an hour ago involving my newfound bunny boiler, for example.
I groaned inwardly as reverted back to my patient files.
I honestly didn't understand how she could just up and leave like that. I was disgruntled and equally perturbed by the very real fact that even Grandma couldn't pick up her scent. How was that even possible? And what about Embry? Where was he? Was he okay?
"Renesmee, is there anything else you want to talk about?"
In response, I merely shook my head, my brownish-auburn tendrils getting in my face. "No. I'm fine. Just stressed out over upcoming exams." I lied, knowing full well, I wasn't fooling anyone.
***
Thirty-two minutes and forty-nine point two-nine seconds later, I grew bored looking at case studies, and with Jasper in tow; I made my way downstairs to find my mom and aunts conveniently arriving through the front door.
They were all dripping wet. Their clothes impossibly saturated with rainwater. As I continued down the stairs, noting Jasper already enveloping Alice in a crushing embrace at the bottom. The potent smell of the damp, earthy scent slowly permeated the air between my aunts and me.
Before our eyes could even meet, I felt my mother's form darting unswervingly towards me, pulling me into an iron-grip clinch. I gasped for air slightly winded by the gripping affection. "I didn't want you to leave, without saying..." she broke off, taking an unnecessary breath against my skin.
Standing at five foot ten, my mother's head rested comfortably on the crook of my neck. Strangely, growing up, it was always my head, resting on hers. It had always been so, up until I gained full maturity reaching my seventh year of existence.
As we had less than seven hours left until our flight, and they had to get back to combing the forests, closing in on the main house I supposed, this was most likely the only chance I got before I left for Europe.
I showed her this through projection.
She smiled, looking up. "It won't be long until you're back. Think of it as a holiday."
I forced a smile of my own in feigned agreement. There was a look of suppressed torture I couldn't ignore in her eyes as she met mine. She didn't want me leaving her as much as I couldn't stand the thought of leaving.
"I'll see you soon." She whispered, the soft distress in her voice, potent. I didn't like goodbyes either. "I'm so sorry, baby. I know you didn't want to leave Jake, but even he feels comfortable with you gone right now."
I felt a gut-wrenching jerk from within- something quite literally sinking so painfully inside, as I processed her words. So I was right. He didn't want me here?
She looked confused as she processed my look of silent hurt. "You didn't know?" She asked, briefly exchanging a questioning look with her husband.
Dad too, was strangely submissive, leant up against the window wall again as I followed her eyes. I could tell in that moment, in her quiet confusion, she had retracted her shield for them to silently communicate.
She turned to face me again, a look of resolution in her eyes. Must've been an interesting one-way conversation. "Nessie, Jake came up with the idea for us getting you out of here all on his own."
What? So this wasn't all Edward?
Just as my thoughts grew pregnant, I felt my father's hands momentarily in my hair, and he leaned in and wrapped his arms around the both of us. I realised then, that the last time this happened –this group hug- was a much happier time -the day of my graduation a few months ago. Strange.
"Bella," he began, and I tore my unseeing eyes away from my mother's anxious ones to look up at him. "Bella, you've blown the cover, love." He forced a laugh, kissing her hair.
I however, was way far gone, processing everything for a moment.
So it was his idea. Jake's idea. Why would he do this to me? I knew why of course. They all wanted me safe and out of the way in case things escalated. Jake was no different. In fact, before I came to know of this from Bella, I knew he would be the ringleader in keeping me safe.
I swallowed back the painful lump in my throat; a pain I knew wasn't induced by my usual thirst for blood. In fact, momentarily suppressing the urge to sob, I just felt numb.
Through my tear-glazed eyes, I briefly looked at my uncle, aware it must've been his doing. Jasper just shrugged and stared back, looking as if he was exuding great effort.
"He got us thinking that because Nayha is after you-" mom continued, drawing my attention back on her.
That's what i don't get.
"But why is she after me?" I interrupted, "Surely she'd be after all of us if she had a problem with us as a collective?" It only made sense.
"It's a little more complicated than that, sweetheart." She replied, flashing me a sympathetic smile.
I was growing a little impatient with the look of remorse; of empathy she was showing me. Particularly since I didn't know why...
I mean, if I knew maybe I'd feel sorry for myself too. "Then explain. I've got about six hours to spare, mom."
She sighed. "Don't be like that, Nessie. Jacob loves you and doesn't want you anywhere near Forks, right now. He's just worried. Actually, he was kind of feeling stupid for not coming up with the idea before now."
I wasn't going to lie, as much as I knew he was only looking out for me, because he loved me, knowing that Jacob wanted me out of the country hurt like hell. It was irrational and completely childish, but hard to ignore.
"Hell, he's so desperate to keep you alive; he doesn't want you in the country. Not with Nayha out there…" she continued.
I swallowed back that annoyingly painful lump again.
"He just wants you safe." She soothed, her strained smile not quite reaching her eyes. "Alive and breathing. You know you would do the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot."
This was certainly true to the core, but I couldn't take this anymore.
***
Ensuring my mother was the last person I touched, I made a concerted effort to focus on how she worked in order to emulate her shield. As a child I had always been a curious infant. My 'hacker gifts' as Eleazar dubbed my ability during my childhood years previously, further stimulated my natural curiosity to not only impregnate anyone with my thoughts, my feelings, but to also understand how individuals worked in the psyche and that in turn, endorsed the ability to generate a variation of their gifts. It was almost like a deviate product running along the same premise. Interestingly it was always usually their latent, human ability amplified to a certain degree that I would project.
We joined the rest of the family in the living area where, wordlessly, my father handed me my passport and a ridiculously hefty stash of cash to put away in my side pouch. As unenthusiastic as I was holding so much cash on me, Edward took it upon himself to just force the money into my bag. "Jasper and Emmett have more if you need-"
"Dad, I got it." I interrupted, taking the money willingly enough, if only to not look at it. That much cash, it was a little disgruntling to say the least. "There must be thousands here." I observed incredulously, "Exactly what do you expect me to do over there? Shop 'til I drop?"
For the first time that day, Edward cracked a real smile. When I say smile, it was more like a teasingly small curvature of the corners. "Whatever makes you happy." He replied, "Though I wouldn't want you to go too crazy."
"Naturally." I replied, bowing my head out of feigned civility. "Not too crazy."
He ignored my mock imitation however, "And you absolutely mustn't leave without your uncles. You can't go anywhere without them, Nessie."
I handed him back some of the handout and shot him an exasperated look. I had my own stash I saved up when I started DJ-ing at Dartmouth two years ago. That hadn't seen the light of day actually. Sponging off of dad all my life, gave me this tendency to display a sense of laziness in visiting the bank. Apparently I had an emergency trust fund too. One I didn't want to think about, as I knew what that was set up for.
A cold hand cupped my face now. It made my brows knot in momentary confusion, because I didn't really like anyone touching my face. It was a foreign feel. And the irony of feeling this way, wasn't lost on me. Dad forced me to meet his eyes. "Renesmee, please, just promise me you won't go anywhere without either of them?"
Huh. That would only leave me with ample hours of darkness. "I promise what I'm making you do," -What Jake's making me do, I thought a little bitterly- "Yes. Jacob. It's for your best interests, Renesmee. You might not like it right now, but it's the right thing for you. Jacob knows this. He understands." He assured me, slipping the unwanted cash back inside my backpack.
As irrational as I knew I sounded, I just couldn't help moaning. "Then I'm really going through with this, aren't I, Dad?"
There was clearly no way out of it.
***
There were a few limiting hours left before our flight. This seemed to steel my resolve. If I intended to make my decision to find Jacob plausible, it was either now or never. Struggling to maintain my mother's latent shield, I centred it at the forefront of my mind. I was all too aware of how curiously silent my usually strident mind would be to my father. He usually said mine was the loudest out of everyone. 'A casket full of imagination,' was how he worded it once.
Taking full advantage of the soppy fluff exchanged between the various couples now, I yanked a taken-aback-Nahuel aside and made my way out the back door, towards Grandma's new greenhouses.
I ran, hauling him along with me, noticing only vaguely that it had stopped raining.
Each of the couples were so engrossed in needing to be in each other's arms, I felt I needed to find my own set of arms to be in and I'm sure Nahuel didn't mind leaving the various categories constituting as public displays of affection. Usually all forms of PDA supplied by parents in particular, elicited a reflexive urge to just…gag. Today however, it was just convenient. I steered Nahuel towards the thick, thicket of dampened foliage I knew, was my path in finding Jake.
I began running in the direction of La Push. "Err…Bambi, do you want to let me in on what we're currently partaking in?" he called after me, easily keeping pace.
"Not right now, no, Chica." I replied, hauling him further still, away from the grand house and further into the densely populated woodland. I set the pace: as fast we could physically handle. A congested blur of greys, browns and greens dominated my inherent ability to detail my surroundings through my peripheral. "We're going to go find Jacob." I elaborated, when I knew we were far enough away that they would've only just realised our absence.
I took the silence as confirmation that Nahuel was unimpressed and in my cowardice, raced on ahead, not wanting to bare the brunt of his reaction.
This didn't go a miss by him however and he abruptly stopped dead in his tracks. I too immediately followed suite and turned to expect the worst. I wondered how long it'd take Edward to track us.
I found Nahuel pursing his lips, deep in thought. "Explain to me why I would want to go out of my way to find your pet?"
I walked my way back to him, "Because he'd do the same for you," I responded candidly. That was completely true. He would.
Nahuel scoffed. "Of course. Just as I'm sure Giselle would want to willingly plait braids with you and play tea party."
He certainly had a point. Giselle was Nahuel's sister. The oldest out of three. Her love for me could be compared to the love the repressed Jewish would no doubt declare for Hitler's Mein Kamf. That said however, I would've thought in a moment of crisis, she and I would be able to work together…
"He's lost, I'm sure he'll come sniffing back!"
I just stared at him, unimpressed. These dog jokes were getting a little boring.
"Always does." He added as an amusing after thought.
I groaned inwardly. "Look, Nahuel, we don't have much time before my family realise we're not home. That's if they haven't already, which I'm sure they have."
"You're babbling."
"I've got about a few hours left until we have to leave for the airport…" And I truthfully couldn't leave without seeing him. "Now, if it was the other way round and I came looking for you –I don't doubt the fact he'd want to help." I defended simply. "He'd do that, regardless of your relationship." This fact, I knew to be true. "I'm certain of it actually."
Before he could even respond to this however, I didn't give him the chance to complain and resumed my running. Looking rather perturbed, he reluctantly followed suit. Together we resumed our hunt for the pack. I concentrated on tracking any familiar scents –Embry, Seth…Jake.
By my side and keeping up effortlessly, I could tell from Nahuel's concerted expression that he was quietly considering my words of principle, "Yes," he finally conceded, as we carefully orientated our way through the dense underbrush, "but don't confuse it with him doing it for me. He's not the hero you make him out to be. Of that, I'm sure."
No, I couldn't believe that. "He'd do it nonetheless." I replied flatly, skipping effortlessly over a fallen tree branch.
"Perhaps." Nahuel accepted, following closely. "But I highly doubt he'd do it for me."
"I don't believe that." I argued, ducking under a low branch.
"I didn't say you had to, Whelp." He smirked, deliberately darting ahead of me.
I ground my teeth, at his impossibly infuriating nickname for me and was hot in pursuit. The name was in reference to my hanging out with wolves.
We ran in quiet complacence the rest of the way, ducking, flipping and swerving fluidly amongst the dense underbrush like professional gymnasts. Though this obviously came more naturally to us as opposed to the years of practiced physical fitness and trained endurance.
My thoughts were back on what I saw several hours ago in my room. Nayha lived a callously driven life. A life shadowed by dark appetites and veiled by fractured conceptions. It was a life dependant on a dangerously private vice. A dangerous vice may be, but I could imagine living the way she did was simply a necessity- an addiction for such a capable Succubus. Perhaps a dependancy as potent as my need for Jacob.
Then of course, there were her poor, unsuspecting victims. Men my grandfather knew. Married men, family men, men who seemed to have everything to live for.
I imagined, for them, a long night and an impossibly beautiful, mysterious stranger wouldn't ever constitue an odd set of circumstances that would herald their sudden deaths. Though I had to ask myself: did they even have a choice in sleeping with her? After all, she dominated their senses and consummed their minds.
For three weeks whilst my family were blindly trying to track Nayha, I was quietly reeling inside. I knew of course, that our kind weren't usually the good guys. Of course we weren't. This shouldn't really bother me as much as it does, though.
The sad fact was we were monsters. Something to fear. As much as we lived in civility, capable of loving eachother as family, our kind was naturally the most powerful preditors in existence. Preferring to live alone and quenching our thirsts by feeding on humans.
So why then, should this come as a shock to me? It was naïve of me to think anything different. In fact, in my world, this situation -these spates of deaths in Forks- should be or become more depressingly familiar considering I plan on living forever.
I noticed through my peripheral that Nahuel was far too absorbed in tracking the familiar scents I too was trying to pick up. A strange, prevailing appreciation for my friend consumed me in that moment. I owed him big time.
After several careful minutes of swiftly picking our way through the dampened foliage to locate a recognizable trail -anyone, we finally found ourselves running along the borders of La Push.
I knew my family would unquestionably be following my track, or would be soon if they hadn't already, so time was simply against me to just stand around and wait. With my preternatural senses devouring what lay before me, I took in a hungry breath of air.
The rain made the air thick- satiated with the earth's natural scents, refined and intensified tenfold.
After several concentrated minutes, Nahuel helped me locate a recent trail of anyone from Jake's pack. It was naïve of me to feel like I wanted to help bring this slutty leech down. I knew this. But then I also knew that I was immune to what she could do. If she was looking for me, which I had no doubt about now, then surely she would show herself to me?
For three weeks this thing caused a mass of human deaths. Deaths that could've been avoided had we found her sooner. Now that it was clear to my family she wanted me, I had to do my part to ensure she was caught, right?
It was simply imperative we find her.
In any case, it was just a case of physically kicking a full Vampire's butt, which was an issue for me. I tried not to think about the very real fact that she was one sadistic pup.
Quickly pacing ourselves on familiar land, heading westward, we eventually came across a trail of recognizable scents.
To my relief, they were recent.
Author's Note: So Contagious –Acceptance.
Are you sick of the lack of Jessie moments? So am I. Next chapter. I promise. Aha.
Also, a big thanks to pinkpower, my ever perceptive and ingenious beta. You know you're a cool gal, right Jenna? Ed steadying nessie was all you!
I totally added the Jasper coversation after I gave my work to her. meep. I just thought, there was a reason I put Jasper in that sitaution. I just failed to elab, believing it would deviate from the general plot -which I know it does. lawl.
Also, a warm thanks to Jessieluver. I hope you get this!
I dont get much out of this, so RnR perlease! I'd much appreciate it. :)
xoxo