Four

I couldn't sleep that night. For one thing, I was kind of stressed out about all of my school work—and my film project, of course.

But I was also, for some reason, thinking about my father.

I always worried that possibly one day, I would become just like him. Especially if I ever had my own family. The thought of it had always made me a bit hesitant to get too close to people…because I didn't want to be like that towards anyone.

And so, this was why I hadn't ever been in a relationship before—romantically speaking.

Which is why it was quite puzzling that I was even talking with Tenten as much as I was. For whatever reason, I wanted to know more about her. Besides, our "relationship" or whatever it was wasn't romantic in the least. I didn't even think we were really friends, either.

At the thought of Tenten, I remembered that I had her sketchbook. I slowly and quietly sat up in my bed (so I wouldn't wake any of my roommates) and gingerly plucked the book out of my backpack.

It was just a plain red hardcover sketchbook that had her name etched in tiny silver lettering on the front. It was well-loved, having some wear around its edges. It was kind of cute, just like her. I could imagine her bent over its pages, wearing her round glasses and a few loose strands of hair falling from her pigtail buns.

Okay Neji…now you're being creepy. I almost opened it to peek inside, but knew that was probably wrong. Instead, I carefully placed it back inside of my backpack and turned over in my bed.

This just gave me another reason to see her again.

Of course, I was beyond exhausted the next morning—I barely made it through my 9 AM class.

Guess a good cup of coffee is in order, I thought to myself as I headed to our campus' local coffee shop.

Just as I was about to get in line, I noticed a familiar pair of buns at a table in the back corner.

I slowly walked up to her and gently placed her sketchbook onto the table next to her.

Tenten's eyes widened and she looked up at me in surprise. "My sketchbook!" Suddenly before I could even react, I felt her arms around me. "Thank you so much!" Soon she realized what she had done, and quickly let go of me almost instantly. "Oh—I'm so sorry!" She flushed a bright red, and I could feel my cheeks burning as well.

"It's okay." There was a bit of an awkward silence, so then I cleared my throat and tried to change the subject.

"Um…would you like something? I was going to get myself a coffee…"

"Oh, I couldn't," she replied, holding up her hand. "It's all right."

"Well—I insist. It's no big deal at all. You'll feel better, trust me."

Tenten slowly closed her laptop and then gave me a heartwarming smile. "Okay—sure. Since you're offering." She got to her feet and grabbed her things. "I'll come with you."

The line had gotten a bit longer while we had chatted earlier, but it was all right. I had several hours before my next class, anyway.

"Um…Neji?"

I turned to look at her in surprise at the sound of my name. It sounded so different when she said it. "Yes?"

"Are—Are you all right?" She was peering at me, her wide brown eyes filled with concern. "You seem…tired. Exhausted, even. Ah—" She shook her head, and gave me a sheepish look. "Never mind, I don't mean to pry…I'm sorry."

"No—it's okay." I sighed. Did I look that bad? Maybe coffee wouldn't be enough. "I didn't sleep very well last night."

"Oh…I'm sorry."

"What for? It's not like it's your fault."

The line moved forward, and we finally got our coffee.

"Thank you so much," gushed Tenten as she took her latte from my outstretched hand. "Really." Her smile lit up the entire room, and then I knew.

I knew for sure that I couldn't risk letting her out of my sight once more. What if I never saw her again?

So I took the chance.

"Tenten…"

She looked over at me with her wide eyes and slowly lowered the coffee cup from her lips. "Yes?"

I took in a deep breath. "May I…see you again?"

At first, she didn't answer right away. In fact, a wave of surprise washed over her face, and then I almost took back my words.

But then she gave me that cheery grin of hers again, and I nearly melted with relief.

"Of course, Neji."

Days flew by with more of Tenten in my life. We were friends now, I suppose. She told me about her dreams and wishes, and how her life was like before coming here to study art.

Even when we weren't physically around each other, we were still talking. We had exchanged phone numbers and texted often when we were going about our separate schedules.

My roommates eventually took notice, however.

"Neji! You're sure on your phone a lot nowadays. What gives?" Naruto was staring at me in suspicion.

"Maybe he has a social life, unlike you," Sasuke retorted, earning a slight shove from Naruto.

"No way. Neji—WAIT. Is it a girl? You're totally talking to someone, aren't you? And I don't just mean talking…I mean, talking. You know? Spill the beans. I know I'm right!"

I sighed, trying my best to keep my composure (and my patience). "It's nothing, Naruto. She's just a friend."

"Uh huh. And I hate ramen." He rolled his eyes, but left it at that for now. Thankfully.

But Sasuke was also still looking at me kind of suspiciously, too.

Good grief.

One night, I was suddenly awakened by my phone ringing.

It was three in the morning—who in the hell was calling me? I almost ignored it, but then saw who it was and immediately pressed answer.

"Tenten?"

At first there was no answer. Then I heard a few sniffles and a very timid voice.

"N-Neji, I…"

I sat up in my bed. "Tenten? Are you all right? What—"

"I…I'm so sorry I woke you…but, I…I c-can't…"

"Where are you?" I asked, already, climbing out of bed. "Stay right there, okay? I'm coming."

I was nearly running down the hallway to the elevator. I had never heard Tenten sound so hurt or distressed like this before. I had to make sure she was okay.

When I stepped out into the brisk fall night air, I saw her huddled figure on the concrete steps, slightly trembling and rocking back and forth. She jumped a little in surprise when I gently touched her shoulder.

"Tenten?"

She glanced up at me, her eyes filled with tears. Her hair was down instead of in her usual pigtail buns, so I almost didn't recognize her.

"Hey—hey," I said softly, and carefully sat down next to her. "Are you all right?"

She slowly shook her head, and I took one of her hands in mine. She was still shaking, and she went back to crying, still rocking back and forth while hugging her knees to her chest tightly. I didn't let go, and simply kept her company, letting it pass.

Eventually it did, and she grew calm. For a few moments, it was silent between us, but I waited for her. I wanted to let her speak first, if she so wished.

"I…I'm sorry." She let out a shaky breath. "I don't—I don't know what came over me."

"It's okay. Don't ever be sorry, Tenten."

Finally, she turned to look at me. "Sometimes…I get these nightmares. And sometimes…I also…feel so…alone." She tucked some of her hair behind her ear and wiped her eyes. "I get these panic attacks…I can't handle being alone…"

"I understand." I didn't take me eyes off of her. I couldn't. "I get nightmares too. And…I hate myself so much at times, I want to just…die."

I had never admitted these things before, to anybody. But I felt like I could tell anything and everything to Tenten. In fact, I really wanted to.

"Well…at least we're not alone now." She gave me a weak smile, and it still managed to light up that bleak night.

"Tenten…"

"Hmm?"

I took another chance, following my heart once more. This was it. "You'll never be alone again. I promise." I carefully moved her hair out of her face, and then pulled her towards me into my arms.

It was a huge relief to feel her holding on to me, as well. "Neither will you, Neji. Okay?"

I responded by closing my eyes and pressing my face into her hair. "Thank goodness."