"How was staying at Finn's?"
The question hit Clarke hard, because of course out of all people, she'd forgotten to tell her mom about the previous weekend.
It was Friday now, finally the end of the first week back to school, and Clarke's mom had finally given her a time that she would be off of work. Clarke knew that her mom was working a lot in NYC, more so than when Clarke was there with her, since she now technically had less responsibility. Plus, Abby's income had gone down when her whole job situation went to shit, so she had to work more to keep her current living situation, and she was still paying for things for Clarke, sending Marcus money.
"Oh shit," Clarke muttered, "I forgot to tell you."
"Language, Clarke."
"Sorry," Clarke breathed out. "Finn cheated on me last weekend... well, on New Year's Eve. He went to a party and I decided to join him later and when I got there he was hooking up with some other girl."
"Oh my god, but I thought he was a good one?"
Clarke sighed. "Yeah, same. Apparently, he's done this before, and no one thought to warn me. I guess it's my own fault for sticking to Finn and his friends instead of trying to make my own. There's a new group of girls I started hanging out with, though."
"Oh yeah? Are they nice?"
"Yeah, pretty fun group. One of them is as much of a book nerd as I am," Clarke admitted, chuckling. "They're helping me deal with the fact that Finn's an asshole."
"Well I'm glad that you have some people to help you with that," Abby said, and her calming voice worked even through the phone, drawing a smile from the blonde. "But hey, in other news, I've been funneling what extra money I've been making into your college fund, but I got an end of year bonus, and with it, you and I are going somewhere for spring break."
"Really?" Clarke asked, eyes widening. "Where?"
"I thought maybe LA. You've been down in Florida, and I've been up in New York, so I thought we could try a different scenery. Unless you want to come up to New York, in which case I can manage here," her mom said with a light laugh. "Would be cheaper, anyway."
"LA sounds cool," Clarke said, "but I don't wanna make you spend that. And you know I love New York."
"The money isn't an issue, sweetie," Abby promised. "Just let me know if LA is okay, alright? Sometime in the next month. I'm excited to be able to see you again. You weren't supposed to be out of the house until college."
Clarke laughed sadly. "Yeah."
"Are you at Marcus' place?"
"No, the beach," Clarke answered, looking up out of her lap and out at the water in front of her. Her new friends had invited her over to Octavia's place to hang out and possibly sleep over, and Clarke had gotten permission from Marcus to do so. However, she was due to be there in an hour, and it had only occurred to her that she didn't have a ride when she got to the beach after school. The phone call from her mom had distracted her from the thought. "It's about a half hour walk away from the school and Marcus' place, which is nice. I'm supposed to go over to a friend's place soon, but I'm without a ride for now, so I'm gonna have to figure that out."
"Oh, well I don't want to hold you up."
"You're not," Clarke promised. "I'm really glad I got to talk to you, actually. I've missed you a lot lately."
"I miss you too, Clarke," Abby replied tenderly. "Go find a ride and hang out with your friends, though. And think about spring break, yeah?"
"Of course. Love you, mom."
"I love you too." The line ended, and Clarke lowered the phone, taking in a deep breath of the salty air. Smiling a little, she stood up and threw her messenger bag back over her shoulder. Starting toward the parking lot slowly, she dialed a different number.
She only had it because earlier in the day, she'd been assigned a project in government with Lexa, and the brunette had taken the liberty of putting her number in her phone.
Clarke was leaning against the brick wall of the school building, waiting for someone she knew to show up as she had been doing every day since Monday. However, before she saw any familiar face, she suddenly felt her phone being pulled out of her back pocket. Her immediate reaction was to turn and grab for it, but she froze when she realized that it was Lexa, who was now typing away at the screen. Clarke rolled her eyes, scolding herself for not putting a password on her phone.
"You wanna explain what you're doing with my phone?"
"Saving you," Lexa claimed, looking up from the screen only long enough to flash a smile at the blonde. "We're getting a partner project assigned in government today, and we get to pick partners. And now you have one, so if Finn tries to get you to partner with him, you already have an excuse."
She finished up what she was doing on Clarke's phone, and then handed the device back to her. Taking it tentatively, Clarke looked at the screen to see that not only had Lexa entered her phone number into her contact book, but she'd also taken on the task of texting herself from Clarke's number. "Sure, Lexa. I'd love to partner with you." Clarke rolled her eyes as she sarcastic comment escaped her lips, but the truth was that she was actually quite grateful to the brunette.
Lexa knew that too, which was why she just smiled toothily in response.
The call rang twice before Lexa answered. "Sup blondie!" The voice did not belong to Lexa, but Anya.
Raising an eyebrow, Clarke slowly said, "Uh, Anya?"
"Yep. Lexa is peeing. I think. She could be doing number two, but I don't think either of us would want to know," Anya commented. "How can Lexa be of assistance?"
"I need a ride to Octavia's," Clarke admitted shyly.
"Well, we're already here, but – "
A sudden mess of noises could be heard through the phone, and Clarke had to pull it away from her ear slightly, until a voice began to speak clearly again. This time it was Lexa. "Sorry, hey."
Clarke laughed. "Hey. I was going to ask if you could give me a ride to Octavia's, but if you're already there, I can – "
"Are you home?"
"No, I'm at the beach."
"I can be there in ten?"
"Thank you."
"Of course!" The line ended, and Clarke slid her phone into her pocket. She leaned against one of the thick posts that lined the edge of the beach, connected by worn, dirtied white ropes. Looking over her shoulder at the water, she let out a small breath. One week. One week since the person she had begun to treasure so much had betrayed her. Cheating had always been a deal breaker for Clarke, she would never allow herself to stay with someone who had cheated on her, because she imagined the pain would be too immense. Now, having experienced it herself, she was even more in this mindset. She didn't want to be upset about this anymore – she wanted to get over Finn and move on. But it still hurt.
Clarke hugged her bag closer to her as a slight breeze blew past her. Something that Clarke had noticed in her time living in Polis was that most people spent Friday evenings away from the beach, unless there was a beach party. But most beach parties were at Miller's place, so even still, this beach was generally pretty empty on Fridays. Maybe that was why Clarke's first thought of where to go when school let out was this spot.
Before she knew it, Lexa's car was rolling into the empty beach parking lot, and Clarke pushed away from the post, shaking sand out of her sandals as she approached the passenger door. "Hey!" Lexa greeted with a smile as Clarke slid into the seat.
"Hey," Clarke returned. "Thank you so much. I didn't even think about how I was going to get to Octavia's place."
"Don't worry about it," Lexa insisted. "I have a car, you don't, and I'm happy to drive you. It's not like this place is very big or full of traffic. Even on Friday nights. Perks of living in a small town."
Clarke chuckled. "I guess."
"You seem like a small town kind of girl," Lexa commented, "and I can't picture you living in New York." She pulled her car out of the parking lot and started off toward Octavia's place.
"Well, I did," Clarke stated with a slight eye roll. "Why do I seem like a small town kind of girl?"
"You're like... quiet, and you like to write, and I don't know. You just do."
Clarke felt a smile tug at either end of her lips. "Actually, I'm not very quiet. You've just only known me while I'm in the midst of getting over Finn cheating on me. I'm actually a pretty big party animal when it doesn't feel like my entire life is caving in on me."
"I guess that would explain why Finn liked you," Lexa commented, before quickly adding something else as though she thought the statement might upset Clarke. "Not that it's hard to see why anyone would you like you. You're quite likable."
"Thanks?"
"It was a very obvious compliment; you don't have to thank me in a question." Lexa flashed her a grin.
Blue eyes rolled, and then refocused on the outside world. The beach was still in sight, and Clarke could see the orange sun reaching down to begin to touch the edge of the water, creating a beautiful range of pastels across the whole horizon. It seemed like a matter of seconds later that they arrived at Octavia's beach house.
She parked her car behind the others there and they both clambered out of the vehicle, starting up to the front door. Lexa let herself in without question, and Clarke followed her somewhat timidly. "We're back," Lexa called out.
A guy suddenly peeked out from around the corner, in the kitchen. "They all went upstairs." Clarke immediately recognized him as Bellamy, Octavia's brother, and he seemed to recognize her as well. "Clarke, right? I didn't know you knew my sister."
"It's a recent thing," Clarke replied vaguely.
Bellamy raised an eyebrow. "You doing okay? I heard what happened to you and Finn."
"Leave her alone about it, Bell," Lexa interrupted, seeming suddenly disgruntled. "Come on, Clarke." Clarke just glanced at Bellamy once more, though he was glaring at Lexa, and then followed the brunette up the staircase and up to the third floor.
"Yay! You're back!" Raven exclaimed happily as Lexa and Clarke entered Octavia's bedroom. A queen sized bed stood on fancy posts at one end of the room, where Raven and Octavia were currently sprawled, and the rest of the exposed floor was covered by a fluffy, blue rug. The dresser, desk, and full length mirror were clearly part of a furniture set with the bed. The walls were painted blue, matching the rug, and the room was neat and orderly, aside from the shelves on the walls, which were stuffed with all sorts of things. Altogether, though, Clarke was impressed with the room.
"You didn't miss much," Anya commented, from where she was sitting at Octavia's desk. Harper was leaning against her legs, seated on the rug on the floor. "Bellamy got back, so we decided to come upstairs."
"Yeah, we saw him," Lexa said lamely. She took a seat on the rug as well, so that she could face the bed and also Anya and Harper. Clarke hesitantly took a seat next to her.
"You sound immensely disappointed about that." Anya immediately received a glare from Lexa, and a couple of smirks appeared on the other's faces.
"What?" Clarke heard herself asking. She figured that if she didn't try to get in on all the need-to-know stuff in this group, she would always feel like an outsider looking in. And frankly, she didn't want to be.
Octavia rolled her eyes. "Bell saw you at school on like, Tuesday or something, and then he asked me if I knew anything about your breakup with Finn. I asked him why and he said if you were single now, he was totally going to go after you. I promptly told him that he better fucking not, but we're pretty sure he thinks you're smoking hot and wants to fuck you."
Clarke flushed, both at the thought of someone wanting to fuck her, and also at what Anya's previous comment about Lexa being disappointed at she and Clarke running into Bellamy might imply. "Oh."
"Don't worry, Bellamy's actually a big softie," Harper reasoned, "so if he does go after you, it'll be all polite and shit."
"And I mean, you can totally date him if you want to," Octavia added quickly. "Like, I wouldn't care. I just figured that it would be way too soon for you to get into something with him. I mean, you don't even know him."
"Yeah, definitely too soon," Clarke agreed, unsure of what else she should say.
Raven nudged her girlfriend. "Let's play a game."
"What game?"
"Something to get to know Clarke – and let her get to know us, of course."
"What? Like Never Have I Ever?" Anya asked.
Lexa suddenly groaned. "Oh here we go."
"I'll get the beer!" Raven squealed happily, crawling over Octavia to hop off the bed and run downstairs.
Octavia rolled her eyes, also getting off of the bed and joining the rest of them on the floor as Anya slid off of the desk chair to sit next to Harper. They formed a circle, leaving a spot open for Raven. "Sorry about this," Octavia apologized halfheartedly to Clarke. "We like drinking games."
"I don't mind," Clarke insisted. She actually didn't, either. She had really nothing to hide, and she definitely didn't mind getting to know the people around her. Maybe she would actually find out if all of them were gay, or bi, or what. She was still highly unsure about Harper and Anya.
Raven returned with two six packs of beer, handing half of them out to the group before finally falling into her spot in the circle. "Who's gonna start?"
"Never have I ever fucked a girl on the beach." Anya grinned.
Lexa let out a groan. "Seriously, Anya? You're going to do this shit again?" She took a sip of her beer, and Clarke smiled a little. It kind of astounded her that Lexa was so open and confident in herself when it came to her sexual experiences, it was maybe even somewhat attractive. As soon as Clarke thought it, she tore her gaze away from the brunette, and waited for Harper to take her turn.
"Never have I ever been out of the states." Octavia and Raven both took a drink, before briefly explaining that they'd both gone to Cancun the previous summer with Octavia's family. Now it was Lexa's turn, and she immediately looked to Anya with a glare, as if ready to provide payback, and Clarke was honestly not surprised.
"Never have I ever gone down on a guy in this room."
Octavia's jaw dropped as Anya's eyes narrowed into an infuriated glare. "Are you fucking kidding me, Woods? That's the secret you decide to expose?"
"Wait, hold on? When the fuck did this happen?" Octavia exclaimed. "That's disgusting! Oh my god!"
"It was like, up against the door," Anya muttered, taking a quick swig of her drink. "I even wiped down the door afterward because I felt bad about it, alright?"
"That's gross."
Lexa gave Anya a sweet smile. "Don't mess with me, An. I have as much on you as you do on me. And I'm not ashamed of any of it."
It was Clarke's turn all of the sudden, and the blonde realized that she had nothing to say. "Oh. Um. Never have I ever been in a relationship for longer than four months?" Raven and Octavia both took down a drink, and so did Harper and Lexa. For some reason, that slightly surprised Clarke, and she tried not to give Lexa a confused look.
"Yeah, I know what you're thinking," Anya said anyway, "how come I've never been in a long term relationship but this bitch has? Well, let's just say that poor little Lexa got cheated on in sophomore year, and she's been a changed person ever since."
"Could you shut up?" Lexa hissed at Anya, who just gave the brunette a challenging stare.
"Jesus Christ," Harper groaned. "This is why we should never play this game."
"Anyway!" Raven exclaimed. "My turn! Never have I ever been so drunk that I blacked out."
"Fuck you," Octavia huffed as she took a drink, followed by Anya and Lexa both, who were still exchanging testy looks back and forth.
"I will if you want to," Raven agreed, waggling her eyebrows.
Clarke smirked, and Anya scoffed. "Gross."
"Never have I ever," Octavia continued, "gone down on a guy."
Harper, Anya and Clarke all raised their beers now, and Clarke finally got to take a drink. She took a long one as well, aware that she was apparently far more vanilla than her peers, and in desperate need of a drink. No explanations were needed for that question, so Anya went straight into her turn. "Never have I ever fallen in love with a girl."
Suddenly, Lexa was standing, her beer being somewhat slammed on top of her nearest piece of furniture – the dresser – and then she was swiftly out of the room. Harper looked at Anya with an incredulous look. "Really?"
"What? She was pissing me off!"
"You guys were both pissing each other off! And it doesn't end until one of you decides to take a break. You couldn't let it be you?" Raven demanded. "I get it, you and Lexa are best friends and this is usually just how you communicate, but even you have to realize when you're about to take it too far."
"Should one of us go after her?" Clarke asked suddenly, drawing everyone's attention.
"Why don't you, blondie?" Anya suggested suddenly, somewhat harshly. "She jumped at the chance to go pick you up anyway, might as well repay the favor."
"Anya," Harper hissed, and Clarke furrowed her eyebrows. Not wanting to be in the middle of whatever was going on anymore, Clarke stood and began to follow Lexa downstairs. She wasn't sure where the brunette had gone, but she assumed that she'd gone all the way downstairs.
She ran into Bellamy at the bottom of the staircase. "Did you see where Lexa went?" she asked.
"Yeah, outside. She looked pissed as fuck. What happened?"
"I'm not really sure."
Bellamy hummed thoughtfully. "Yeah well, I guess you'll get that a lot being friends with my sister and all her friends. They don't really seem like your crowd."
"You don't know me," Clarke said carefully.
"I guess not, but you were friends with Finn and his crowd. It's like a one eighty to end up friends with my sister. Especially if you're straight."
Clarke raised an eyebrow. "Like I said, you don't know me. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go talk to Lexa." She took a step around Bellamy, giving him a wide berth, and saw Lexa seated at the edge of the wood patio through the huge, glass windows. Biting on her lower lip, Clarke located the sliding door and pulled it open carefully. Lexa glanced over her shoulder instantly, but just sighed and looked back over the water when she saw that it was Clarke. The sun was dipping into the water by now, but it was still somewhat lit outside.
Clarke took a seat next to Lexa, just as the brunette had done for her a week before.
"You don't have to talk about it," the blonde said quietly, "but if you want to..."
"No, I don't," Lexa breathed out. "I'm over it, it was a long time ago. I just don't like to talk about it, because I was fucking stupid back then and I don't like thinking about it."
"What do you mean you were stupid?"
"Trusting a person with something as important as my heart... it was stupid. I shouldn't have ever done it, and I haven't done it since then," Lexa stated.
"No, that's stupid," Clarke argued, drawing a baffled look from the other girl. "It's stupid to rule out all people on the account of one bitch who thought it would be a good idea to take advantage of your love. Just because Finn cheated on me doesn't mean that I'm going to cower away from the idea of ever being with someone again. That wouldn't be fair to me, and it's not fair to you to do that to yourself."
Lexa shook her head. "You don't get it, Clarke. You didn't love Finn."
"I thought I did," Clarke insisted. "Does that really matter, though? I was prepared to give him my whole heart, I thought I would end up doing that. What you're saying is that basically that since one person stopped making you happy, you're just going to stop being happy altogether."
"That's not the same thing," Lexa argued, "I'm perfectly happy right now, without someone to love me."
Clarke sighed. "You'd really never even consider dating someone again, for real?"
"I don't know." Lexa clenched her jaw. "It's complicated. I don't think that I would never give anyone a chance. It would just be a really fucking generous chance that they better not fuck up."
"Well, I think you deserve to be happy, Lexa. Just like I do, just like anyone does."
"Do you think Finn deserves to be happy?" Lexa asked quietly.
Clarke gazed at the sinking sun and shrugged. "I guess. I don't mind if he suffers a little first, though. But you're not Finn, so why does that matter?"
"Doesn't."
"Will you at least promise me one thing?" Lexa looked at Clarke curiously, her expression greatly smoothed out now. "Promise me that if you have a real, hopeful opportunity at being happy with someone, giving them your heart and everything, that you won't miss out on it just because of what happened to you in the past."
Lexa's lips twitched, suddenly turning up into a small smile. "Fine, I promise. As long as you promise me the same thing."
"Sure, of course," Clarke agreed instantly. She wasn't the one who had given up on love, after all. "Now are you coming back inside before it gets any colder?"
"It's not that cold."
"Yeah well, I guess living in Florida for half of a year as made me more sensitive to cold or something. Come on, let's go inside." She stood up and extended a hand down to Lexa, who smiled softly as she took it, and then they both entered back into the house.