Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters.
A/N: Thanks to SingularityStar, who is my beta for this story.
Chapter Four
Back to Hogwarts
"Argh!" Harry shouted in frustration. His head was pounding and he knew that he hadn't closed his mind fast enough. Remus didn't say anything, but Harry knew that he wasn't doing as well as he was expected.
"That was better," Remus said, and it was, but Harry still seemed to be struggling to master Occlumency and this was the last night they had to work on this. It didn't help that he got to see firsthand all the terrible memories that Harry had. He especially hated when he saw Harry, looking no more than six, being told that he had to stay in the cupboard for a month because of the vase that he had broken. He could still see Harry's pained and terrified expression.
"I'm sorry I'm not doing better," Harry sighed, causing Remus to look up, realizing that his emotion must have been showing.
"Harry, this is a difficult skill to master," Remus said truthfully. "In fact, it took me almost a year."
"I bet you didn't have this much pressure to master it quickly," Harry pointed out.
"No... I was able to take my time," Remus admitted.
"I'm never going to learn this," Harry said, frustrated again.
"You can't let yourself think that," Remus said calmly. "If you don't believe you can do this, you won't..."
"Are you trying to be annoying," Harry groaned causing Remus to chuckle.
"Of course not," Remus said. "But now you should work on clearing your mind."
Harry took a deep breath, and concentrated on everything that Remus had told him over the last week. He let go of his frustration... his worry about what was going to happen in the future... his fear of having to face Voldemort at some point... even his fear that his thoughts might somehow help Voldemort. It wasn't easy, letting any of this go, and he knew he hadn't mastered this technique yet, but he was trying.
Like always, Remus caught Harry by surprise, testing his defenses. He could feel it the moment that Remus tried to get in his head, this time the older man was going for the subtle method and Harry was able to concentrate on his shield... trying not to let his panic overwhelm him. That would have been a sure way to fail. It seemed to be working. He could feel Remus withdrawing and as soon as that happened he returned to concentrating on keeping his mind blank.
The next attack was brutal, strong and overwhelming. He saw some of the bitterest memories of his early years at Hogwarts... Hermione petrified, Ron's pale face when they were facing the giant spiders... but he pushed back, closed those thoughts off with difficulty. At the same time, he was wary about where Remus was going to attack next. He had a reason to be worried. He had no control whatsoever and his mind was an open book for a full minute before he could do anything about it.
After pushing Remus out of his mind for the last time he looked at the werewolf and Remus nodded.
"I think that's enough for today," Remus said.
"Right," Harry said taking a deep breath.
"Just keep practicing this," Remus said reassuringly. "I have faith that you can master it."
"But no pressure," Harry sighed.
"I was under the impression you didn't really know what the word pressure meant," Remus smiled.
"Just the opposite... I know the meaning of that far too well," Harry smiled back.
O
The next day Harry woke up with his scar pricking again, and he had the same old dream of walking through a hallway. He sighed as he pushed the blankets off. He didn't really have time to dwell on this today; they had to get ready to go back to Hogwarts. Still, he hated that he couldn't stop himself from dreaming what Voldemort was.
The normal rush to get ready for Hogwarts was at full steam by the time he got downstairs to eat. He was glad that he had packed the night before and didn't have to run all over the place like some of the others. Hermione, of course, seemed to have been prepared as well; she was sitting next to him, peacefully sipping coffee and reading the Daily Prophet.
"So how did your lessons go?" Harry asked her, suddenly realizing that he hadn't talked to her about this since their first lesson in Occlumency (and for her Legilimency).
"Pretty good, I think. I've learned the finer points of Legilimency, though I'm not an expert at it yet," Hermione said. "Do you want to see?"
Harry shook his head, "It's probably best not to do that now, but maybe after we get to Hogwarts."
"How do you think you're doing, Harry?" Hermione asked seriously.
"I know that he's still getting at me when I'm sleeping," Harry admitted to her with a sigh. "I can't seem to keep him out..."
"You've only been working on this for a few weeks..." Hermione started to say.
"I know... and I think I've been making progress... but I just get this feeling that it's never going to be enough," Harry sighed.
"Honestly Harry, it might not be," Hermione sighed. "The connection between you and Voldemort is different than anything that has happened before. There might not be a way to fully block this... Voldemort didn't seem to be able to do it in the book at least, and I'm sure he's accomplished at Occlumency."
"Gee, that makes me feel so much better," Harry groaned.
"Sorry... I've just been worrying about that for awhile now," Hermione sighed. "However, that doesn't mean I think that you should stop trying..."
"Don't worry Hermione, when have you known me to stop trying?" Harry smiled at her.
"On your homework..."
"On things that matter," Harry added and Hermione shook her head at him.
"Git."
"Oi, you two that's enough chatting, it's time to go," Ron said coming into the kitchen to get his friends.
When Harry got to the door he saw Sirius standing there talking to Remus and he felt a sudden chill go through him. He knew that the book had warned of Sirius's death, but it didn't say how or when he was going to die. He was suddenly filled with the fear that he would never see his godfather again. That whatever had happened was going to happen soon, and he wasn't going to be able to stop it.
"There you are Harry," Sirius smiled at him, but immediately seemed to notice the panic the boy was going through. He walked over to his godson and hugged him, before pulling him aside so no one else could see Harry's expression. "What's the matter?"
"I'm just... I'm afraid..." Harry started and then forced himself to finish the best he could, "what if I never see you again?"
Sirius sighed before he put his hands on Harry's shoulders and said in a calm voice, "I can't promise you that we will see each other again... not with the way things are in our world today, but I can promise you that I'm not going to waste this second chance we have. I want to see the incredible man that I know you will become."
Harry didn't know how to answer that and found it funny that he felt better after Sirius said this.
"Besides, kid, I'm about to give you a way to let you talk to me while you're at school," Sirius added with a grin, handing Harry a package. "It's the two way mirror that James and I used to use when we were in separate detentions. We can use it to talk to each other whenever you like."
"I like the sound of that," Harry smiled at him, gave him one last hug and then was out the door so that he could catch the Knight Bus to Hogwarts.
O
It was later that night and Hermione was testing her skills at Legilimency against Harry's skills at Occlumency and so far Harry had the upper hand. Not wanting to be out done, she pressed herself hard and finally broke through Harry's defenses. She caught a glimpse of Harry and Cho together at the last DA meeting before Harry forced her out of his head.
"Are you satisfied now, or do we have to keep doing this?" Harry grumbled. He didn't like that she had seen that and he was starting to get tired of these constant attacks.
"No, we're done for the day," Hermione said frowning, trying to keep herself from saying anything about the image she saw. Judging by Harry's grimace, she wasn't doing a very good job of hiding her emotions.
"What is it?" Harry sighed.
"No... it's nothing," Hermione shook her head, she had promised herself that she wasn't going to bring this up, that she was going to let Harry come to her.
"I might not be an accomplished Legilimens, but I know when something is bothering you," Harry said. "Just tell me what it is."
"Fine, but you're not going to like it," Hermione sighed. She was glad that Ron had decided to sit with Neville and Ginny while they practiced. It would be easier to talk to Harry about this without him nearby. "It's about Cho... and Ginny..."
Harry sighed, and crossed his arms, but he knew this was coming. "What about them?"
"Well, that's sort of what I wanted to know," Hermione said uncomfortably. "Never mind... you don't have to say anything. Just know that I'll be here if you need any help."
Harry's postured relaxed as he let out a breath. "I thought for sure you were going to call me an idiot... you know for not trying to start things up with Ginny..."
"You are an idiot," Hermione stated and he glared at her. "But you wouldn't be Harry if you weren't."
"Thanks, Mione, that makes me feel so much better," Harry shook his head, and then he sighed, "Ginny told you what I said to her, didn't she?"
"For the most part, yeah," Hermione answered.
"You're lucky, you know that," Harry said. "You didn't need a book to tell you who you're supposed to be with..."
"Harry?" Hermione frowned, not sure what he was getting at.
"You and Ron... you already liked each other before, right?" Harry said and he didn't need an answer to that but Hermione still nodded her head. "I feel like I was blindsided the moment that it was mentioned that Ginny was my girlfriend... I can't get her out of my head..."
"And that's a bad thing?" Hermione questioned and he just looked at her sadly.
"If I asked her out now, I don't know if I'd be doing it because I actually have feeling for her or because I was told I would have feeling for her," Harry said miserably.
"That is hard," Hermione sighed, leaning her head against Harry's shoulder.
"I was hoping for a bit of advice about this actually," Harry mumbled.
"The only advice I can give you is don't over think this, Harry," Hermione answered.
"Hermione Granger telling someone not to think!" Harry said in a mock astounded tone.
"Shut up!" Hermione rolled her eyes at him. "I just meant that you should stop letting your head get in the way and listen to what your heart is saying."
"Yeah..." Harry said, but this wasn't much help right now, everything about this situation was confusing to him.
"What are you going to do about Cho?" Hermione suddenly asked. If she had it her way, Cho would never be in the picture again. It's not that she didn't like the other girl; it was just that she had always thought that Harry and Ginny made the perfect couple and after reading the book she knew she was right.
"I'm not sure about that yet either," Harry grimaced. "But I have to see my feelings through, don't I?"
"I suppose," Hermione sighed.
"You don't have to sound so depressed about that," Harry grumbled, but he still leaned his head on top of hers, taking comfort by the fact that she was there to support him. "If something is meant to be, I'm sure it will work itself out in the end."
O
"Don't those two look cute?" Parvati said to Lavender. They were sitting across the room watching as Harry and Hermione talked. Now that the other two were sitting so close together, they couldn't help but giggle.
"Harry and Hermione certainly seem to make a good couple, it's about time this happened," Lavender nodded her head, still giggling.
"What?" Ron suddenly said and when they looked at him they were surprised that he was glaring at them. "What did you just say?"
"Harry and Hermione," Parvati said, nodding her head towards the two on the couch, "aren't they cute together."
"No!" Ron and Ginny both said in similar tones, but Ron recovered from his shock first. He knew, after all, how much Hermione liked him. He also knew how Harry and Hermione felt about each other, and that he had nothing to worry about. Still, he didn't like how everyone else that was now looking at Harry and Hermione seemed to think they made a good couple.
"They're not together, Parvati," Ginny said, sounding just as annoyed as Ron felt. "They're just friends."
"If you say so," Lavender said in a tone that stated that she didn't believe the other girl one bit.
"Yeah, I say so. Harry and Hermione are just friends," Ron said hotly, he was starting to get really annoyed with all of this.
"Why, because they didn't tell you? They probably..." Lavender started to say.
"NO! Because Hermione is my girlfriend!" Ron snapped at her and everyone that was in the area around them all looked at Ron in shock. Ron's ears turned red as he caught the disbelieving stares of several people.
"You can't be serious!" Seamus said. "You and Hermione! You mean she actually likes you?"
Ron just ignored him, which wasn't difficult as he wasn't too fond of Seamus at the moment anyway, and got up to walk towards his friends.
"I think he is serious," Dean said with a chuckle.
"It's about time this happened," Neville chuckled, too.
"Hey!" Ron said his tone still hot because of everything that everyone was saying. His two friends were startled, jumping apart.
"Hey, Ron," Hermione answered beaming at him until she noticed his expression.
Ron had gone over, intending to make some big gesture to prove that Hermione was his girlfriend, but when he looked at her he found it wasn't important anymore. Of course he still cared what everyone was saying about him, but he knew that Hermione wouldn't have appreciated the gesture and what she thought was more important to him.
"What's the matter, Ron?" Hermione asked as he sat on the couch next to her.
"Everyone thinks you and Harry make a cute couple," Ron answered honestly, his annoyance clear in his tone.
"Oh," Harry said, looking across the room and noticing that everyone was very obviously attempting to make it look as if they hadn't been watching the trio. "Sorry mate."
"It's okay," Ron shrugged, not having anything else he could have said. "Though, it did kind of hatch me off to hear that."
"Don't tell me you're jealous, Ron," Hermione rolled her eyes.
"I'm not jealous," Ron glared at her. "I just don't like how everyone thinks you and Harry would be bloody perfect together but when I tell them that you're my girlfriend they think..."
"You told them that!" Hermione gasped.
"Er..." Ron said his ears turning red, "was I not supposed..."
"It's okay... I'm just not looking forward to getting cornered by Lavender and Parvati tonight before bed…" Hermione sighed and then smiled at him. "We might as well give them something to really talk about."
"What...?" Ron started to ask but before he could say more she kissed him. Everything seemed to have melted away as soon as her lips touched his and all that mattered was her. They kissed until they couldn't breathe anymore and were finally forced to part. They didn't to notice that Harry seemed to have disappeared wordlessly sometime during this kiss.
"I'm surprised at you, Hermione," Ron said resting his forehead against hers, "I didn't think you would be up for a snog in the middle of the common room... at least not when it's this crowded. And as a prefect too... what will the first years think?"
"I noticed all of the first and second years have gone to bed already," Hermione shrugged and gave him a mischievous smile that made his heart hammer against his chest. "But if you don't think it's proper..."
She didn't get to finish her statement because Ron had pulled her into another kiss which she happily returned. As she entangled her fingers in his hair, she found that she didn't care in the slightest that they were in the middle of a crowded common room and that everyone was probably looking at them.