Act One

Chapter Four

A New Goal

Paden didn't wake again until early afternoon the following day. She became aware of the sound of pots and pans rattling in the other room, and her eyes snapped open. She stared at the bottom of the bunk above her for a moment, trying to remember recent events.

It all came back to her in an instant and she leaned over the side of her bunk to see the one below her. Carver was still lying there, eyes closed.

Paden quickly scrambled out of her bunk and knelt beside her brother. She looked at him for a moment, trying to notice anything different about him. Then she placed a gentle hand on his forehead.

Carver's eyes opened and looked at her. "What are you doing?" he asked, as if he were just waking up after a good night's sleep.

Paden jerked her hand back, startled. "Carver! You're all right."

Carver smiled slightly. "Thanks to you, I hear."

"You had us pretty worried," Paden said.

Leandra's voice came from the doorway. "He woke up about an hour ago. He seemed just fine so I let you keep sleeping. You needed the rest, Paden."

Paden nodded, not upset about getting more sleep. She looked at her brother. "How are you feeling?"

"A little sore, but I've felt worse," Carver said.

Paden sighed with relief and sat back on her heels. "I need to get some Lyrium potion," she said.

"Lyrium?" Leandra said. "That costs a fortune."

Paden nodded in agreement. "But if I'd have had some when we encountered those blood mages, I would have been able to protect Carver better. I would have been able to defeat them faster, and it wouldn't have left me feeling so drained afterwords."

"Where can you get Lyrium?" Carver asked. "Isn't it tightly controlled by the Circle?"

Paden nodded. "That's probably where I'd have to go in order to get any."

"To the Circle?" Leandra exclaimed. "Paden that's so dangerous. What if they question you? What if you're found out?"

"I don't know what else to do," Paden said. "I really need to get some."

"What about Athenril?" Carver asked. "She's smuggled Lyrium before."

Paden shook her head. "We're already indebted to her enough."

"But even if you did get some, Paden, it's addictive. It's not safe," Leandra said.

"I know the risks, Mother. I wouldn't use it unless I had no other choice. But I'd just like to have the option. That encounter was the first time in my life I've ever needed a boost to my power. I hope I'll never need it again, but in our line of work I think we can't be too careful or overly prepared."

"I know you're probably right," Leandra confessed. "I just still don't like the idea, and how would we afford it anyway?"

"I don't know," Paden said with a slight shrug. "But I'm going to keep my eye out for an opportunity." She stood to her feet. "In the mean time I need to go face Athenril. Tell her why her deal went sour." She turned to leave the room.

"Hey, Sister," Carver called after her.

Paden stopped walking and glanced over her shoulder.

"Don't lose our jobs."

Paden quirked a slight smile and then left the house.

Athenril worked out of the seedier end of High Town in the Red Lantern district. It was quite a walk from the Lowtown slums. Which was probably a good thing, since it gave Paden plenty of time time to focus and calm herself and rehearse what she was going to say to the elf.

"Hawke," Athenril said in surprise as Paden approached. "You never returned last night. You know you were supposed to report back immediately, right?"

"There were complications," Paden said. "Your blood mages attacked us. My brother was nearly killed."

Athenril arched her eyebrows in surprise. "They attacked you? Why would they do that?"

"They weren't happy with the terms of the contract," Paden said simply.

"Still, that's a bit of an over reaction," Athenril said. "Are you sure you didn't provoke them?"

"They're fanatical blood mages. They don't need provoking. They wanted to take my brother and I captive to bring you out of hiding."

Athenril laughed.

"I take it that means their plan wouldn't have worked then?" Paden said flatly.

Athenril chuckled again and shook her head. "So what happened? Do I need to deal with the mages?"

"No, they've been dealt with. And that's the last time I'm doing a job that involves blood mages, Athenril."

"This is also the last time I want to hear you refusing an order," Athenril said. "You do the jobs I give you or you're going home, Hawke."

Paden forced her voice to remain calm. "Well, then if you insist on doing business with blood mages, may I suggest sending more people next time at least?"

"Maybe doing business with blood mages wasn't such a good idea," Athenril admitted.

Paden was surprised to hear that from the elf, but pleased. "Definitely not," she agreed.

"All right, Hawke, go home, get some rest. I'll have another job for you tomorrow night."

Paden wasn't sure she should be relieved or disappointed to hear that. So she just nodded. "All right." Then she turned and strode from the district. She was happy to have the day off, but not at all looking forward to going back to work.

Paden wandered around the city for a couple hours after that, just wanting to be alone, but at the same time wishing she wasn't. She was lonely. She'd been feeling lonely for the last few months, wishing she had someone she could confide in, someone who would listen to her gripes and her concerns without being judgmental or irritable.

She couldn't talk to Carver about anything; he was her little brother, and their relationship was strained at best. She couldn't often talk with Mother either—at least not about the things that occupied and troubled her thoughts these days. She didn't want to worry her mother. If Leandra knew the details of Paden's job and what her daughter had to go through every day she'd probably have a heart attack.

No, Paden couldn't confide in her family. At least not anymore. She used to confide in Bethany, and seemed to miss her sister more now than she did in the days just after Bethany's death. She missed having someone she could just sit down and talk with about anything and everything. Someone who would listen to her concerns, sympathize with her hurts, and giggle at her jokes.

"Maker, Bethany, I miss you," she whispered aloud. But Bethany was gone, and Paden had no other friends. She felt more alone in that moment than she had ever felt in her life.

She found herself standing in the middle of the Lowtown Bazar, just staring blankly at the crowds, not knowing what to do.

On an unconscious impulse, her feet took her to the weapons shop she had first visited all those months ago—the one with the unique mage staff that the proprietor kept in his secret stock. She had gone back to admire that staff many times since then, but she had never come any closer to affording ownership.

She asked to see the staff again, and was again disappointed that the price was still three sovereigns. She sighed longingly as she stroked the fine rope-work on the staff.

"Why don't you just buy it?" the dwarven shopkeeper asked as he watched her.

"To me it costs a fortune," Paden said. "It's been nearly a year since I've held that much money in my hand at once."

"You're from Ferelden aren't you?"

Paden nodded.

"I see," the shopkeeper said in understanding. There was no shortage of Ferelden refugees in Kirkwall, and they all were in a similar plight; no decent place to live, no decent job to be had that payed a decent wage so they could afford to feed their families, let alone buying extra things like fancy mage staffs.

Paden sighed again and handed the staff back to the shopkeeper. She thanked him for indulging her once again, and moved on to the next vender booth.

She noticed that a shop called Trinkets Emporium sold some potions and other concoctions. Paden wondered if the proprietor might know the price of lyrium and where she might be able to get some.

She browsed the shelf filled with little potion bottles, and when she didn't see what she was looking for she asked the shopkeeper, "Do you ever deal in riskier items?"

"As in…?" the woman asked, arching one eyebrow.

"I'm looking for Lyrium potion," Paden said.

"Ah, well, I sometimes do carry some in stock. I have two vials right now actually. Would you like to buy them?"

"How much are they?"

The woman opened a small box she kept in a cupboard under the table. She pulled out a tiny vial filled with a bluish-white liquid that glowed softly. "I charge forty-two silver per bottle," she said.

"Per bottle?" Paden said, her hopes crashing. Where was she going to get enough for even one bottle? Now if she hadn't had to pay those men from the docks that thirty silver she would be more than half way there.

"Thank you," Paden said as she handed the vial back. "Perhaps another time."

The shop keeper put the vial away. "I usually have at least one in stock," she said.

"Where do you get it?" Paden asked. "If you don't mind my asking."

"Oh, I have…friends in high and low places," the shop keeper said. "Let's just leave it at that."

"Fair enough," Paden said. "I'll be back."

The shop keeper held up her hand to stop Paden from leaving. "If you're hurting for coin to buy the potion with, I do take trades, if you've got anything."

"Really? What sorts of things are you looking for?"

"Anything with resale value," the shop keeper said. "As long as its value is at least equal to what you want from my shop."

Paden smiled. "Thank you. I'll definitely be back."

A small spark of hope flared inside Paden. Here was a chance to get what she needed even though she had no coin. Her family didn't own a lot of things, but she would trade anything she owned, plus she would be keeping her eyes pealed for anything else she could pick up in her travels. She would get that Lyrium potion eventually, and she would get that staff one day as well. In that moment she made a decision that this was not going to be her lot in life forever. She would change things for her family, and it would be her new goal; the only thing that mattered.

With renewed purpose she headed home, feeling much better.