Chapter Four:

This Little Light of Mine

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Dean and Sam swapped places halfway along the way. Dean now hovered at Cas's side while Sam led them into a half hidden boathouse that was covered in vines and foliage. It connected to a small tributary outlet of water, able to access the larger lake further down. The location for this place must have been on purpose to keep it hidden from the immediate view of others on the lake. So private that Cas didn't immediately recognize it for what it was until he shoved at the door to gain entry. He coughed in the dust and spiderwebs that fell from the motion while Sam entered to give him some light in the dark room. His blue eyes scanned around and spotted a sad looking nautical vessel tied inside. A good seven feet of dock around the boat, and a makeshift garage door that hovered above the water to help keep the boat inside the building, and bigger debris out. It made it humid in there, but bearable with the front door open.

Castiel grimaced at the scent of mold in the air and looked to the souls floating around the place that helped illuminate the room for him. Whether that was their intent or not, it was welcomed. There wasn't much in the room that was useful, a wrap around counter filled with rusting junk and broken pieces of boats and supplies. Life vests that had been turned into mouse nests. He was surprised the boat was still able to float with how the rest of the place was in such shambles. Castiel wondered why they dragged him here. He saw Sam go towards the boat and bobbed repeatedly over one of the boat's seats, and he cautiously boarded and looked at what Sam was trying to indicate. There, were two glass bottles of wine that were carefully packed, but more importantly, several plastic gallons of water tied down by their handles.

Cas grinned appreciatively towards the brothers before untying the rope that kept the jugs from shifting around, and drank it greedily. It tasted terrible. But at least it was safe. He normally wouldn't need food or drink, but he'd used up a lot of his grace in that flight, it wasn't entirely the Winchester's power. He would take a few more days to heal himself, the time cut in half if he took care of his body with the vessel's human needs.

He searched for some food that hadn't spoiled, but that's where his luck ended. Sam looked apologetic, sinking a little in the air, but Cas simply reached forward to tickle his fingers along Sam's wisps of light. Sam sparked in surprise at the touch, and shivered visibly.

Dean fell out of the air and sprawled on the ground. Twitching and rapidly pulsing light.

Castiel's voice came out clearer now that his throat was eased, "Is this what you refer to rofling?"

Now Sam joined in as he too dropped from the air to roll on the floor, laughing. Cas beamed at their antics and it felt good to get them to laugh. The jugs of water were placed on the ground followed by the bottles of wine just before he climbed up and off of the boat. Finding a mouse chewed bag and shaking it out before using it to haul the water and wine. Sure that no one was coming back to this boat anytime soon, and even if they did, it was highly unlikely that they'd miss the water.

He brushed off a space for himself on the bench as he watched the brothers interact. It felt good. Peaceful. The dread and hopelessness he'd been surrounded in lightened a little. Yes, they were dead, but, they weren't gone. Not yet.

The angel leaned against the wall in his seat and drank some more stale water. His stomach rumbling. That got the souls to come in close again, only hovering around his knees like they were sad they couldn't feed him.

"I'm fine." He said and straightened out his trench coat from the wrinkled state it was in. Sand coating it along with dried algae and caked mud. He knew he didn't look 'fine'. Shrugging at them, unconcerned.

The brothers started exploring again, making that faint buzzing sound sometimes and Castiel started dozing again. Hating how tired he was.

'Man, he looks rough.'

'Not as bad as last night, Sammy.'

'True. But. We need to find him some food.'

'Soul food isn't gonna cut it is it?'

'That is a terrible pun. Even for you, Dean.'

'Come on, you thought it was funny.'

'Whatever.'

'Well, we ain't gonna find anything here but tetanus and the plague.'

'Can we even get sick?'

'Dunno, Sammy. I know we can loose strength when we juice Cas up. Same difference.'

'Cas doesn't want us giving him any more.'

'Yeah. I noticed that too. But what was I supposed to do? Dude was gonna drown in that lake. I had to. And if I didn't zap him this morning, he'd still be on that beach.'

'Dean, I wasn't saying don't. I was just saying we don't need to if he's not in danger. Right now, he's just tired.'

'I hate not being able to help.'

'I know, Dean. But, look at it this way, we are helping as much as we can. We're just souls now. All we have is our energy. We can't touch or move anything. We can only give or take energy.'

'I could tell Cas was thinking really hard on the way over here. Wouldn't say what it was out loud. But, he seemed happy after he made up his mind about whatever it is.'

'He'll tell us if it's important.'

'Yeah... hey! Dude! Sammy, check it out! I'm a lamp!'

'… Ok, that's kinda funny. Wonder what Cas would say when he sees the old timey lantern all lit up.'

'Wake him up!'

'Ok, I guess we've been here for a few hours, going by the sun. So weird how time's flying by.'

'Yeah, but it's doing it more while he's asleep, you notice that?'

'Huh. Weird.'

Castiel woke when he felt a slight tingle on his chest and lifted his heavy eyelids to peer out at the ball of light. Sam, he identified, bobbed around before darting up and away as if startled. Castiel yawned heavily into his hand. Squinting in the lamplight. He blinked in the surroundings and saw Sam slowly circling the room. Making a few laps without even trying to interact with him or...

Something was off. "Where's Dean?"

Sam kept up his circling and didn't seem to hear, or, was ignoring him. A tingle of fear crept up into Cas's chest, replacing that warmth that he'd gotten from Sam's brief contact. A disturbing thought occurred to him as Sam kept on circling overhead like a bored caged animal. What if Sam wasn't even aware of his surroundings? What if he was just pacing the room without even thinking about it? Dean was gone, and Sam didn't seem to care. "Sam? Sam. Where is your brother." Castiel spoke slowly, tracing the path the soul was making as it bobbled then returned to making slow laps around the shed. His stomach roiled and his chest felt tight.

Cas stood up abruptly. The urge to move overriding the dizziness of getting up too fast. "Dean?" He rounded the boat in the center of the open room, and checked under the hold, lifting up boxes and ropes. Souls didn't have to move things to get anywhere so Dean could very well be inside the Earth for all he knew. "Dean!" His heart started pounding. Throwing things here and there, no glow, no buzzing sound. No Dean. And Sam didn't even care. That meant that he might also leave without a trace or purpose.

"Sam?! Where is Dean? Where is he?!" Castiel lifted his hands as if to catch the soul as it came around again in its loop.

The soul's light swirled around the hands, and dipped away to his side. Avoiding collision. A few sparks lighting up the place. Cas couldn't tell if it was annoyance at nearly being caught, or surprise that something got in the soul's way.

Just then, the lamp in the corner became very bright and Cas shielded his eyes from it for a moment, peeking through his fingers when the lamp seemed to hover up from the table and he realized with a start that Dean had been hiding in plain sight. A prank?!

Cas let out a whoosh of air. Feeling off balance and relieved at the same time. At least, as long as it took him to make those few steps over to the hovering soul that sparked in amusement, to grab it firmly between his hands and pull it down to his face.

He glared at Dean who stopped his teasing sparks, and started to shiver in his unyielding grip. Dean was forgetting that as an angel, he can hold and contain the soul with ease. His hands shook as several emotions roiled inside him. He thought that his family had forgotten themselves. Like dying a second time. Castiel couldn't survive loosing them again. Not like that. His great concern for them was warring with other feelings he had, anger winning out. They didn't realize how much that prank hurt him. "Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Sam quivered a little nearby, watching. Sinking in the air.

"I thought you were..." Cas's voice broke and he hung his head, lowering Dean a little in his hands. He breathed heavily to calm himself down. He finally looked at the light in his hands and opened up the cage his fingers had made. Dean stayed put, shrinking in size under that weighted gaze.

Cas forced himself to relax. The poor soul was so scared. His heart lurched at causing that fear. Souls were pure, they didn't intend grievous harm on others. Even if the negative result was obviously unintentional, Sam and Dean's souls felt guilt for the trick they pulled, not to mention, fear for what Cas could do as retaliation. He didn't need to understand their new language to see that.

Years ago, Dean had admitted to him, one drunken night, that the first year he'd known the angel, Dean was afraid of him. His power. On an instinctual level. Gradually looking past it to see Cas for who he is and not just what he is. Castiel promised to 'tone it back' for people that didn't know what lay beneath his minimalist facial expressions. Figuring out how to present himself in a more human way to assure people around him that he is a friend to humans.

Right now, Dean was reminded that Cas still had immense power over them. Even in this weakened state. Sam didn't have to be grabbed to see that he too could be captured and held against his will just as easily. Castiel felt his own guilt creeping up. Reminding himself that they didn't mean it. They were trying to make a joke and he's the one that took it the wrong way.

"That was a good prank." He said, chuckling, and opened up his hands all the way, inviting Dean to take off again but the soul stayed put. Tracing his fingers with a few of those see through tendrils of light. Ashamed.

Sam came in as well and hovered close to Dean, rotating around the hands. A moment passed with none of them moving. Just, taking a minute to collect themselves. Dean started to hover as well, just barely a few inches above the hands, still small and tight. His light becoming more solid the smaller it was. Cas watched as Dean spread himself out a little and flew up slowly to Cas's face. There were no features of course, but Castiel knew that Dean was taking a really good look at him.

Castiel cleared his throat and smiled reassuringly at his friend. He winked and said, "We'll have to remember that trick if someone comes near." and nodded firmly. He reached past Sam and lifted up the broken lantern and stood up straight again from his hunched over position. Breathing through his nose to get rid of the lingering fear in his own body from the thought that he'd lost them.

Cas stretched out his back and started for the opening where a door had once been. Sam darting out just behind him, with Dean dragging his feet, so to speak. Cas knew he'd have to show them that he trusted them to follow him, and made for the top of the hill nearby.

Cas wanted to get a better idea where they were. Finally locating the trail that the people who used to own the boathouse took to get to and from the shore, he started at a leisurely pace down the path. Thankfully, it didn't take long for the souls to go back to playing around him. Teasing insects and animals along the way. Keeping themselves busy as Cas walked. They came upon a few empty houses that the brothers checked out, partnering up and inspecting every room for usable things and coming back empty handed to the street where the angel stood waiting. Forming their own visual communication with Cas so they didn't have to rely on Morse Code, as it seems to wear Sam out to do it too much.

They found a house that must be a summer home, that had some food in it, and the souls were eager for Cas to get to it. He wasn't well versed on lock picking and the brothers couldn't help at all, so Dean just kept zipping back and forth through a window close to the door knob. Encouraging Cas to break it, so, he did. The lock gave on the inside, and both souls went through the walls straight for the kitchen's store room. Only half remembering that Cas can't zip through walls.

"Thank you." He praised and found some of the pop top cans of food that didn't need a can opener, and dug into cold creamed corn. Moaning at how delicious it was. He could practically hear Sam say, 'hunger is the best spice,' at him and grinned in agreement. He tucked into another can of food and drank some of his saved water. The water in the house was shut off for the season.

Cas longed for a shower. He went to the bathroom and sacrificed the remains of one of his water jugs for the cause. It did the trick, and he felt refreshed after the simple wipe down. He borrowed a set of clothes that were about his size and noticed Dean come back into the bathroom once he was done changing. Dean politely suggested one of the decorative bottles of cologne and he nudged the soul for the wry nonverbal comment.

"You don't even have a nose." and got a soul shrug in return. He relented, picking out the one Dean seemed to like and once it was on, the soul left him again.

He debated for a moment, thinking about if he needed anything else in the room and deciding against it. This was not his house, and he was already leaving a dirty mess in the tub and floor. He brushed down his trench coat of the dried dirt and plant matter that latched on during his swim. Seeing that he's just making a bigger mess here, he took it outside and started beating the coat with his fist to dislodge the rest of the dust. It looked alright, not pristine, but better looking. All the while, Sam and Dean were wandering again. Popping in and out of the walls to check up on him, making sure he's staying out of trouble on his own. He had to laugh at that.

Castiel parked himself in the living room and idly stared at the blank TV screen. Sam joined him on the adjacent love seat, with Dean inspecting the TV set up now. Buzzing the electronics and sparking in delight that he could get them to work for a few seconds. Sam's soul rolled in on itself in debate before joining his brother and they got the TV to show static for ten seconds before leaving it again, tired but satisfied. Dean attacked the lights in the different lamps next, making one of them shatter and sending both souls scattering away from the small explosion.

Castiel laughed at their antics and that earned him a close fly by or two from Dean. Trying to make the angel flinch. Cas just raised a hand to catch Dean the next time around and Sam came to the 'rescue' and buzzed the back of Cas's head just enough to distract him and let Dean escape.

"You two are working well together, as always." He noted and both souls brightened a little before buzzing quietly at each other. Cas longed to hear what they were saying.

'Ok, Sam, so we got Cas some food, now what.'

'We could head back to the bunker... try and figure something out.'

'I don't know what there is to figure out. We're door nails.'

'When's that stopped us before, Dean?'

'We don't have the advantage of having bodies this time around. And trying to sell our souls is a moot point since that's all we are now. And Reapers already called first dibs. Angels or demons won't help us now.'

'So, you felt it just like I did. The Reapers blew us to kingdom come. There are microbes bigger then our biggest chunks of flesh.'

'Yep.'

'This sucks.'

'Amen to that little brother.'

'At least we got Cas free of the blast.'

'For how long.'

Castiel noticed that they looked dimmer now. Upset, almost. He's able to tell what they might be feeling with better accuracy now that he's watching them interact. The overall situation at their hands is probably the cause of their depression.

Castiel knew what might make them happy, and give them purpose. Returning to the bunker for one, before someone else hears about their sudden demise and tries to take over the bunker in their absence. He knew that both consider it their duty to look after the Men of Letters building, and all of the precious knowledge and artifacts inside, but mostly because it was their home. So it's decided. That was their destination. Sam and Dean were going home.