Chapter 4: Starting Over

"Daisy! Daisy! Wake up! It's a dream. Fuck, Daisy, wake up!"

"Eric!"

Daisy bolts up awake in the guest bedroom while breathing sharply. Her body is covered in sweat, her arms are shaking and she sounds like the air has left her lungs. Eric is holding her face in his hands while staring at her in worry. When her eyes find his her body breaks down and she begins crying. He sits beside her and holds her tightly in his arms while trying to stay strong for her. It's the middle of the night, they were both sleeping in different bedrooms in his apartment when he heard screaming. He gets up the moment he hears her screaming in pain and runs into the guest bedroom. He found her asleep in the bed twitching and yelling, he's been trying to wake her up for minutes now. She hasn't screamed in her sleep every time he slept beside her in the infirmary the past week. This was the first night she slept in his guest bedroom alone. He's rubbing her back trying to calm her down but she's so shaken up that she doesn't feel it. She holding onto his bare chest crying before she speaks up between sobs.

"Don't leave me. I can't go through it again."

"I won't let anything happen to you." Eric promises while resting his head on top of hers, "No one is going to take you away from me."

"They did though." She cries harder at the thought, "They already did once."

"Daisy, look at me." Eric grabs her chin for her to look up at him before he tells her with no room to argue, "I will not let anything happen to you again."

Looking up at him Daisy believes every word knowing he doesn't lie to her. He wipes her eyes with his thumb before pulling her back to his chest. She could still feel the pain in her dream, it wasn't a dream though. It was real, it happened only a few months ago. Eric wraps his arms around her like she'll disappear any second now. He didn't want to admit it but he's worried about her. This is a side of her he's never seen. Then again, nothing has happened to her so badly to have her react this way. She's always been unfazed, confident, and downright ruthless. Here she is though, vulnerable, weak, and completely scared. He's never seen her scared of anything and it only makes him wonder what they did to her. Her body stops shaking so badly and her tears stop falling but she's still clinging onto him. Pushing her face into the crook of her neck she whispers pleadingly.

"Stay here tonight. It only has to be for tonight."

Staring down at her in surprise Eric couldn't tell her no, he never really could when it came to her. If anyone else was her right now he wouldn't have even come into the room. Hell, no one would be in the room to scream. He didn't dare let anyone sleep here for the night besides Alex and her. No one would want to spend the night here for good reason. Daisy wasn't just someone though, she the closest thing he had to a family. He couldn't bring himself to disagree with her about anything she wanted. Her intentions are always pure, right and with good in mind. Watching her body curl into him for a second longer he then lightly picks her up and whispers.

"Come on, Sunshine."

Carrying her exhausted form out of the room Eric takes her to his bedroom. He wasn't going to sleep in his guest bedroom and he wasn't going to say no to her. She barely notices where he's taking her, she completely out of it. Setting her down on his bed slowly Eric then pulls the covers up her body. After that, he goes to the side of the bed and slides in beside her. Daisy instantly curls into the side of his body and sighs in relief. Her head's laying on his chest and her arm is wrapped around his waist. He watches her fall back to sleep quickly, he keeps telling himself she'll be okay but doesn't exactly believe it. He doesn't know what she went through, she won't tell him and it kills him that it's that bad that she can't. Brushing her hair with his fingers he stares up at the ceiling fully awake. He knows he won't be able to sleep tonight, not when Daisy is fighting a war in her head at this moment. Her head moves slightly closer to his neck while breathing out as if she's still asleep.

"Don't leave..."

"Dude… Check him out."

"When this is all over I'm totally getting a piece of that."

"Why wait?"

A few girls are whispering to one another on a bed a few feet away from Daisy. They have school girl smiles and are giggling like children. Daisy tries to ignore them while laying on her bed, she's been laying there peacefully for half an hour now. But the peacefulness was ruined by the girl's conversation. Everyone is in the bedroom of all the initiates, the class is getting ready to sleep for the night. The bedroom big enough to be considered a whole floor. Twin size beds are lined up for them, the showers and toilets are exposed for everyone to see. If you wanted privacy this wasn't the place. The girls clearly didn't notice everyone could hear them. Daisy opens one eye and glances at the girls. They are all sneaking looks at the showers making her look that direction. There is Eric showering with his body out in the open, he doesn't notice the stares. His priority is getting all the sweat and dirt off his body. There is no one else in the shower mainly because Eric glared at anyone making a move to join him.

"Really?" A girl giggles while glancing his way, "You think I should?"

"Why not?" Another one encourages beside her, "When he gets out go talk to him."

"Okay…" She grins while fixing her hair and wink suggestively at the girls, "He's not going to know what hit him."

Rolling her eyes Daisy closes them again knowing he's going to walk past her. Every night is the same, Eric showers, changes, then goes to the bed beside Daisy and passed out. He's not going to even notice the girl when she comes up to him. All the beds are filled with kids besides the one next to her. Everyone knows that's the one he sleeps in and no one is going to argue with that. Mainly because no one wants to cross him or sleep next to her. Daisy hears the girl get up from the bed and her friends quietly cheering her on. Relaxing in her bed with her eyes shut Daisy hears the girl speak up to Eric.

"Well, someone looks brand new again."

"Don't I always though?"

"True… So when are you going to use those muscles everyone's been staring at on me?"

"What did you have in mind?"

Daisy's eyes fly open when hears the two actually have a conversation. Sitting up she sees the two standing in front of one another a little ways down from her bed. The girl is playing with her hair and Eric is smirking at her like he owns the place. Feeling disgusted with the scene in front of her Daisy tries to stay calm and lay back in her bed. But when she sees the girl touch Eric's arm playfully all Daisy sees is red and stands up. She's not jealous, she's definitely NOT jealous. She's only annoyed Eric isn't focused, he's letting this bimbo distract him. She didn't like it one bit. Storming over toward them she begins to catch the attention of other initiates. Ignoring everyone around her Daisy reaches the two and grabs Eric's shirt harshly. She might rip it from how rough she's holding it. This makes the girl look at her in confusion and Eric's smirk grow wider.

"Come on, Champ." Daisy snaps while pulling him away from the girl, "Get in your bed before someone else goes in it."

"No one is going to sleep in his bed." The girl grabs his wrist to stop him from walking away, "Don't you know who he is? No one is going to cross him."

"Shut the fuck up before I do it for you." Daisy snaps without looking at her as she continues to pull Eric by his shirt, "Eric, let's go. Now."

"Are you tell me what to do, Sunshine?" Eric stops walking with an amused expression, "Last time I checked I don't follow orders from you."

"Fine. You want to spend all night talking to this clueless bimbo, be my guest." Daisy lets go of him and waves at the girl in disgust, "I'm going to sleep so the next morning I'll have the energy to kick your ass."

The girl's face brightens when she thinks Daisy will leave them alone. Little did she know that she's been forgotten to Eric since Daisy came into his eye line. He's trying so hard not to laugh at Daisy's frustration. When she moves to walk away he grabs her waist and pulls her flushed onto him. His hands are tight on her hips making her want to take a step back but his expression leaves her stuck in place. Whispering at her with a smug look he pulls her even closer to feel his whole body on hers.

"I'd like and see you try Sunshine."

"Then why don't you go to bed and find out tomorrow." She growls like she's about to bite him, "Or have you lost the interest in being first ranked from the sight of her."

"Not by the sight of her." He chuckles while one of his hands go underneath her shirt, "...I go to sleep but not because to told me to."

"Whatever you have to tell yourself, Champ." Daisy snorts while getting out of his grasp and walking away but not before calling out to him, "Are you coming or not?"

Eric shakes his head and watches her walk away without looking at him. Her hips sway as she walks getting all the guys attention. He turns to glance at the confused girl he was talking to moments ago and snorts at her pitifulness. She was sweet, naive, easy, she's something Eric tries not to affiliate with. He prefers the company of someone challenging, or even a threat. Someone who tested his patience, someone who tried to boss him around, someone who rather win than settle. Daisy is the only one who could do all that and get away with it. Following her to their beds Eric glares every guy down that's watching her.

"Eric…. Eric… Eric!"

"What- What? What's going on?"

"Someone's knocking on the damn door."

Daisy mumbles into his chest making him groan in frustration, he can feel her breath on his bare chest. The knocking keeps coming forcing Eric to open his eyes, he tries to grasp what's happening. Daisy's curls into his body, her head's on his chest and her arm lays on his waist. Her legs are tangled with his under the sheets and her hair is sprawled on his pillow. His arms are possessively around her waist, he doesn't know if it was him or her who decided to cuddle in the middle of the night. His mind stops thinking about her slim smooth body when the knocking gets louder. He growls in anger from it not going away and Daisy huff out a breath in irritation. Finally moving out of Daisy's grasp Eric throws on shorts that lay on the floor. She whines when the heat of his body is gone and snuggles closer to his pillow. He watches her for a moment and realizes he's in one of his shirts again. To be fair she doesn't have any clothes for herself. She's laying on her belly with her face in his pillow. The sheets are by her ankles from him having to get up. He sees her bare legs covered in scars and bruises. His eyes wander up when seeing the boxers he gave her. Before he can inspect her anymore the knocking comes again and he storms to the front door. Daisy lazily listens to Eric throwing the door open and practically yelling.

"This better be fucking good."

"You missed this morning meeting." The sound of Max's voice fills the apartment, "It was about Daisy getting adjusted in Dauntless."

"She doesn't need to adjust, this is her home."

"Yeah, but she doesn't have an apartment, clothes, her equipment, or a leader keycard."

"She's staying with me, I'll get her clothes, so just give me her equipment and keycard."

"She a big girl, Eric. I'll give it to her."

"Fine. Sunshine!"

"Tell him to leave." She shouts in the bed after hearing the conversation, "Set it on the table!"

"You heard her."

"Daisy." Max calls out from the living room, "I need to show you what's what so you're not confused."

"Motherfucking bitch, stupid ass…" Daisy whispers to herself while dramatically getting out of the bed and limping to the living room, "What do you need to show me?"

Max turns to her in surprise after seeing her come out of Eric's bedroom, he thought he heard her voice in the guest room. Everyone in dauntless always teased about them being a couple just because she's the only one Eric didn't dislike. Max never believed it, if they were actually together Eric would have made it very clear to every man in Dauntless. Eric's not one for sharing, plus they would have to sign off on a paper that they were in a relationship since they're both leaders. Which they have never done so it led Max to believe nothing was going on behind closed doors. However, seeing her come out of his bedroom in his shirt and boxers makes him think he doesn't know them as well as he did. When Daisy raises an eyebrow at him he realizes all he's been doing is staring at her. He then opens the bag her has and starts putting things on the counter while listing out.

"Here's your cell phone, laptop, tablet, and the key to your old office. Your cell phone, laptop, and tablet are set up already with everything you need. This is your points card, it's up to date. We canceled it when you disappeared but it should be working again. The security card gives you access to everything like usual. It might not work the first few days you try to use it because we had it inactive for two years."

"Thanks… Anything else?"

"Here's the key to your old apartment." Max then hands her while explaining, "There are a few boxes in it left that are yours but other than that it's empty."

"Okay. I'll check it out later." She thinks out loud while looking at all her things, "So when do I start working again?"

"After we introduce you back into Dauntless. Eric will help you adjust to our new systems." Max answers while zipping up the bag and heading back to the front door, "Once you're in completely in good health you'll go back to work."

"Is that it?" Eric then snaps with his arms crossed, "No? Okay, bye."

"I'll catch up with you guys later." Max rolls his eyes at Eric before smiling at Daisy, "Relax for the next few days. I don't want you going back to the infirmary."

"Sure." Daisy says like she's not actually listening before going to her smartphone and asking Eric, "Help me get everything activated."

The two turn to her equipment when Max is still in the room, he's totally forgotten by them as they check out the new toys. He lets himself out without another word as Daisy turns on all her things. While she's going that Eric goes and grabs two apples from a bowl and throws one at her. She grabs it in the air without taking her eyes off the screen of her laptop. He raises an eyebrow impressed, she's still got it. Taking a bite of his he moves to stand behind her to look at her going through her tablet's settings. Glancing down at her he stares at his clothes she's wearing and thinks out loud.

"We should probably get you some clothes."

"Don't want people seeing me in your boxers, Coulter?" Daisy teases before looking at her apartment key and asking, "Is there some clothes my old apartment?"

"I don't know… Haven't been in there for a while."

"Let's check it out."

"Now?"

"Yeah, why not?"

"Look at this place… It's perfect."

"Sunshine, are your eyes open? Look around."

"Eric."

Laughing at her friend's attitude Daisy walks further into her new apartment. She's been assigned this room after joining the leader training system. It's not as big as the one Eric got but this one has more of a homey touch to it. One wall is covered in floor-length windows, the kitchen is out of date looking, the floors are worn out looking and the paint on the walls is chipped. Daisy's looking around the room, she's looking at what it could be, not what it is. She can picture one wall filled with shelves and books. She sees flowers on the counter instead of the dust on it now. Going to the windows she can see out on the whole city, checking out the windows she knows exactly what curtain she wants for them. Eric looks around awkwardly like he's not impressed but softens his face at her excitement. Running over to him she grabs his arm and tugs him to the bedroom so they can check it out.

"I bet there's a better apartment down the hall you can live at." Eric thinks out loud while inspecting the bedroom, "This one is probably not up to regulation."

"It's the only one beside your room though." Daisy tells him like it's the most important reason to live here, "That's all I wanted when Max asked."

The floorboard creaks when she walking into the center of the bedroom. The room has to windows as big as a door on both ends of one wall. Her bed is going to right between them she thinks as she opens the closest. It's nothing fancy but it's enough room for her. Eric leans on the wall while watching her babble about what she plans to fix and change about the place. The Amity is coming out of her as she fantasizes about what she's going to do with the place. Only a few things slip out of Daisy that makes her seem Amity and this is one of them, redecorating. Daisy screeches in surprise when seeing something in the corner of the room. Bursting out laughing Eric notices the cockroach running around in the corner. Glaring at him Daisy stomps her foot on the cockroach so hard the wood behind her foot breaks. Her eyes bug out, she didn't think she stepped on it so hard. This only makes Eric laugh harder and suggest with a smug look.

"Now you want to ask for a different apartment?"

"No. I can fix that…" She mumbles while wiping the bug guts off her shoe, "If I can break it, I can fix it."

"Sure you can, Sunshine."

"Come on. Be a little more excited for me." She then comes over to him with a pouting face, "We're training to be leaders! We get to live right next to each other!"

"You can be excited for the both of us." Eric snorts while tugging at her shoulder-length hair, "I don't care about apartments or training."

"Well, what do you care about then?"

Daisy asks while hitting his hand that keeps pulling at her hair. Eric's amused smile lowers at her question but she doesn't notice. She too busy going to the bathroom and checking it out. The only answer that popped into his head when she asked him what he cares about was her. There wasn't a list or a hesitation on the answer in his mind. When the words left her mouth he knew exactly what the answer was, her. Just her, just Daisy Moore. She comes back into the room and grins at him bubbly before moving to the next room, dragging him along with her of course. Her question is long forgotten by her but for Eric is still lingers in his mind.

"It's not opening…"

"You have to jiggle it after to unlock it, Eric."

"Did it always fucking do this?"

"Yes. That's why I always opened it. Let me see the key."

Daisy sighs while lightly shoving Eric out of her way to unlock her old door. With a jiggle on the nob and light push the door creaks open. Opening the door all the way open the two pop their heads in like they shouldn't be in here. For Eric, it was an unspoken place no one goes in since Daisy disappeared. Walking in Daisy feels her hairs on her arms go up, it felt like an ancient history. Like this was another version of herself that she has forgotten. Limping further into the room she sees what it is and not what it used to be. Eric follows her in while looking around suspiciously, he wanted to take her back to his apartment and not let her come back here. It's almost like seeing this room would change Daisy's mind about living with him until she's better. Her eyes find three boxes on the floor in the middle of what used to be her living room. Turning to Eric she asks with a broken expression.

"Is that all of it?"

"Yeah. Max made me clear out the room." He answers while moving toward the boxes as if they'll bite, "These are the things I refused to sell."

Looking around the place one more time Daisy goes to sit in front of the boxes. The apartment is covered in dust like it she had never lived here. The paint still looks like it did when she painted it but it's lighter now. Memories cross her mind of this place, she feels so young in them. She hasn't felt young in so long that those memories might as well be from another life. Before opening a box Daisy imagines her and Eric in the apartment years ago. She had shorter hair and fewer scars back then, he had fewer tattoos and more hair. Meeting Eric's eyes Daisy breaths in nervously at what she'll find in these boxes. He's still slowly walking around the room to inspect it like the first time they came in here but this time his face is clenched and unreadable. Her hands move to open the first box, looking inside her heart stops.

The dress she wore the first day of initiation is inside, it's still as yellow as the day she came with it on. Taking it out she glances at Eric but he seems to be trying hard not to look into her eyes. She starts taking things out one by one. The first thing besides the dress is the vase she had used to put flowers in, then the darts she threw at Eric when she got mad at him one time. Next was her Dauntless uniform and framed leader certificate. Putting it all back in the box she moves to the next one, Eric has stopped walking and is now watching her. The second box has her favorite mug inside, Tris gave it to her a few years back. Her first gun is inside along with a few shirts she took from Eric's closet to sleep in. Her favorite throwing knife is inside beside her favorite red lipstick Christina bought her. Under the t-shirts is her emergency pack of cigarettes. She smoked a few time in the apartment when she was under stress, they were hard to come by but she always found a place to buy them. Looking up at Eric she smiles softly at him while teasing him.

"All the clothes you picked to keep, you pick the ones that are yours."

"I might need them one day." He lies while going to stand beside her, "That's all there really is let."

"I haven't opened the last box."

"It's nothing, Sunshine. Just a few files…"

Eric starts to say as she opens the third box, he seems to not want her to open that one. It only makes her want to open it up even more. Looking inside the box her heart flutters and his drops, sighing he finally leans down to sit beside her. The third box had the camera he had gotten her for one of her birthdays. Underneath the camera is all her and his picture frames they had around the offices and apartments. Some of the pictures were from his apartment, he must have put them there when he was packing her things up. She takes the frames out one by one to look at them, they all held a photo that was taken from her camera. Looking at Eric in confusion Daisy points out some of the pictures.

"Weren't some of these in your apartment?"

"Yeah. After you left… I couldn't look at them anymore." He answers her honestly knowing there's no point in lying to her, "I didn't want to throw them out but I couldn't have them around me anymore."

She nods understanding him completely, he had lost her for three years while she was fighting to get back to him during that time. Looking back at the picture a smile grows onto her face, each photo held a memory. She can picture the moments perfectly. One picture was her, Tris and Christina hugging in front of Chris's Pub. It was the day she signed the lease for the building. Another one had Four and Eric standing beside each other glaring at the class they were teaching that year. There's one where Alex is laying in Eric's bathroom passed out drunk. Seeing her favorite picture Daisy takes it out of the box and grins. Daisy and Eric were at the Pub, she's pigging back onto him. Her arm is around his shoulders and the free hand is in the air with a shot glass. Eric was holding her thighs to keep her on his back. He looks like he's annoyed but the curve of his lips give it away. He's looking up at her and she's smiling down at him. Biting her bottom lip she hands it to Eric while saying.

"This is my favorite one."

"I was totally out of it that day."

"No. You were just carefree that day." She laughs while thinking of the memory, "You were so mad when you saw Alex take that photo."

"I almost broke the camera…"

"I remember." Raising an eyebrow and bumping her shoulder with hers, "I had to pull you off Alex. Tris and Christina had to keep Four back from joining."

"Good thing they did. I'd take any reason to punch that little shit." Eric smirks while putting the picture frame back in the box, "Come on. Let's put this stuff in my apartment."

"Okay…"

"Unless you want to move back in here."

"No." Daisy shakes her head when seeing Eric's threatening gaze, "There's nothing left for me here in this room."

"Good. Now, let's go."

Eric picks up two boxes while Daisy grabs the lightest one, it hurts just to lift it up in her arms. They head to the front door, Eric kicks it open before walking out and not looking back. Daisy does though, she looks back. Looking back she sees the late nights with the girls laughing and singing loudly. She sees the days her and Eric wrestled on her couch. Most importantly she sees the young carefree girl she used to be, the one who had more on her mind than just surviving. All she does now is survive and try to stay alive for another day. Noticing a cockroach running across the living room floor she smiles and turns around. Shutting the door she walks to where Eric is waiting for her and this time she doesn't look back at her old apartment door. All she sees is Eric and that's better than anything in these boxes or in that apartment.