Hey guys! Thanks for the awesome reviews! I love writing this; I love torturing characters with my OCs. So anyways, more humor in this chapter, and Ichimaru's back story is explained a little, but not much else happens. It's a little longer than usual, but I hope you guys enjoy it! Again, reviews if you guys want this to continue. Complement, flame, whatever your heart's desire, so please leave reviews! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, just my OC

"Please let me wake up from this nightmare!" The marine moaned. After getting a map, a lifeboat and a navigation tool from Buggy, who was given a bizarre explanation about how she was his niece, and she screwed up a magic trick and he was never to tell a soul of this incident, they decided to head to Fireworks Island, since it ended up being the closest. It was bad enough Kizaru saw him, but now Mihawk had the key, and now he had to face the most pompous of the Warlords, other than Hancock.

"Would you stop moaning and help me row, fat-ass?" She yelled, snapping him out of it. Noticing the glare, she sighed. "As you said, I'm the one who can actually fit in the barrel, who carries more weight?" She said. "I'm just glad we're finally getting somewhere." She grumbled.

"My life is over…" He turned back to grumbling.

"This all could've been avoided if you had just gone to-"

"Don't say it!" The admiral yelled.

3 Hr Later

"Hey Akoji-san, other than stating the obvious, is there anything else Fireworks Island is famous for?" She asked, while rowing.

"No, why would there be?" Aokiji asked while also rowing.

"Well…I remember Sir telling me not to row on to the side beaches of these waters for some reason, but I can't remember why." She replied.

"It'll come to you eventually." Aokiji passed it off. But then noticed something odd.

"Akoji-san…is it me, or is there steam coming from the ocean?" They stopped rowing and took a closer look at the water. Suddenly, a blast of water shot up from behind them, making them jump back. "What was that?"

"I don't know, get to the opposite end of the boat from me." Aokiji instructed.

Too freaked out to argue, the girl obeyed. They covered their heads as another blast shot out. Then, Amanda's eyes widened. "Now I remember what Sir said about the banks here…he said always use the main docking area because the side banks are littered with underwater geizers! Can't believe I forgot that, then again it's been awhile since I've flown through here, maybe two years since the last client-"

"Would you shut up?" Aokiji snapped. "Concentrate and get us out of here! You teleported once, you can do it again!"

"I can't, I'm too tiered!" Another shot came out, and this time it was closer to their boat.

"Then think of something! If this boat sinks, we're both dead!" The admiral yelled.

"What happened to the 'I'm the adult, so I'm in charge' bullshit?" She exclaimed. "I'm nine! Why do I have to figure this out?"

"Because you can use your powers, I can't!" Aokiji yelled back. Another shot, and it was just inches from them. "Look, let's call a truce, at least until we get on the island, all right?"

"Agreed!" She nodded, and then had an idea. "We can get out of this, we're just gonna have to pretend that we tolerate each others existences! Admiral Moron, you know how to surf?"

"I have a devil fruit, what do you think?" Aokiji exclaimed.

Amanda didn't reply, but hopped over to his side and jumped on his shoulder. "Stand up, and hold your balance!"

He did as he was asked, and the last part should've been predicted. With their life boat was torn apart by the hot water, Aokiji was forced to learn how to surf very fast. Landing on a piece of wood, they found themselves rising on top of the wood riding the geizer, and slowly made their way down to a bunch of lowering geizers, that confidently lead to shore. It was convenient, but it wasn't easy, and the little girl yelling 'woo-hoo' on his shoulders did not helping anything. Their landing was less than graceful, after skidding to a halt, their board got caught on something so they both flew forward with their heads being buried in the sand.

Aokiji quickly recovered, and looked to his right. Amanda was struggling to get her head out o the sand, so he plucked her out. "Kid, you okay?"

After a few seconds, she blinked and grinned. "I want to do that again."

Dropping the girl, Aokiji walked forward, dragging the girl with him, he was never going near hot water again

1 hr Later.

So, now they landed safely on the beach, barely alive, and were at the point of exhaustion, they decided to head into town. Compared to the rest of the Grand Line, it was a fairly calm and peaceful island, so the only time it had real traffic was during its annual fireworks festival. Sure there were a lot of smaller fireworks show year-round, but the big show was legendary. Aokiji looked at the child, who still had an extremely annoyed look on her face. "Akoji-san?"

"What?" He looked down at her.

"What now? We're on an island, but I'm going to guess this place doesn't' get many visitors unless if it's a holiday." She guessed.

"You said you've done jobs here, wouldn't you know?" Aokiji pointed out.

"Like I said, it's been like two years since I've been out here." She repeated annoyed. "Strangely enough, I can't remember the job."

"You don't remember the jobs you do?" He looked at her indiscreetly.

"What do you expect?" The girl deadpanned. "When you've seen one kidnapping, murder, attempted murder, conspiracy, babysitting and whatever job you're hired for, you've seen it all. Isn't it the same with navy?"

"…What are you talking about? We're a public service entity." Aokiji answered her.

"Yeah." She snorted. "For the rich, evil, and famous." They stopped short at that comment, and Aokiji clearly wanted her to take it back. Noticing the look, Amanda sighed. "I'm not allowed to talk about current or past clients, but I've done jobs for the Navy and World Government before, I know a lot of how they work. Considering that, I can talk about the Navy however I want."

"Regardless of what you've done for the Navy, you aren't allowed to speak of such things in front of me." The admiral replied in an edgy voice. "No one's allowed to."

"I know. That's why I was hired to this island, two years ago." The girl surprised him. "Don't give me that look, I lied. The people in the navy who hired me, didn't exactly go through you, and it's a conflict of interest for me to discuss it with you any further than this. The reason why I'm telling you this- a corrupt vice-admiral thought he ruled the island and kidnapped a teenaged girl from her family. She was researching medicine, and the creep accused her of being a terrorist, plotting to poison his soldiers. So in repatriation, he demanded she be his concubine. I was hired to slay him and rescue her."

Aokiji looked down at her silently, not defending the man she spoke of, for he knew exactly who she was talking about. Vice-admiral Cotton, the bastard was a military genius, but a violent womanizer, not one person was sad to see him go. And since the World Government said not to investigate it, they never did. "I see. So you have killed before."

She looked at him boredly. "Many times, but so have you." She walked forward. "We can stay with that girl and her family, she's getting married soon."

"Your clients keep contact with you?" Aokiji raised a brow, but followed her.

"Once in awhile." Amanda shrugged. "The family didn't have enough money to really afford Sir's fees, so I took it out of my own cut from the next job I did, so they got emotional about it, and sent us thank you gifts. Some clients do that, most don't."

That surprised the admiral. "You protected them, even though they didn't have money or status?"

She raised a brow at him. "Do I look like I'm the type of person to care about that? Honestly, you are stupid."

"You certainly dress like it!" He responded indignantly.

Now it was Amanda's turn to raise a brow. "So, because I dress in gothic lolita, I'm a rich, sheltered girl? Really?"

"Anyone else would think that!" Aokiji yelled.

"Hm…" Amanda thought a moment, and then put on an annoyed face. Clients ALWAYS underestimated her due to her appearance, but they never mentioned her clothes. "Tch. There has yet to be a discovery of intelligence in this world."

"Struck a nerve, did I?" The admiral smirked.

"Shut it Admiral Moron!" She shot.

"Back at yah, Petty Officer Shrimp!" He replied.

"Moron!"

"Shrimp!"

"Moron!"

"Shrimp!"

They halted and sparks flew between them. "MORON! MORON! MORON!"

"SHRIMP! SHRIMP! SHRIMP!" And no sooner did that they jumped at each other. Amanda was grabbing Aokiji's face and pulling his hair, as well as biting his hand. While Aokiji just pulled back on her harshly, trying to get her off. After a few minutes in the scuffle, someone tapped them on the shoulders.

"WHAT?" They turned to a very frightened local cop.

"Er…sorry to bother you too, but…could you please break it up. You're frightening the village." He requested shaking. Turning to observe their surroundings more carefully, and noticed children and elders hiding behind buildings and crates, while others just looked on in wonder. Turning back to each other, they glared and begrudgingly let go of each other and faced away from the other. "Er…Thank you. Now, who might you two be? You're obviously not from the island."

"You can't recognize my uniform?" Aokiji asked exasperated.

Amanda stomped his foot, effectively shutting his mouth. She smiled up at him. "Hi, my name's Melanie Russ, and this my uncle Admiral Moron, and we're acquaintances of Mira Goswen." Aokiji looked amazed and horrified, she lied so easily!

"I see…you must be here for their wedding, it's tomorrow, yah know." The cop smiled, but then noticed something. "By the way, why are you hand-cuffed to each other?"

Amanda nodded reassuringly. "We know, realize, and understand how confusing this might look. But people!" She waved her arms to the audience. "This man did not purposely handcuff us together, nor is he a lolicon, though has a strong potential to be one." Aokiji's mouth dropped. "However, Admiral Moron through all intents and purposes was trying to impress a woman, but sadly dropped the key down the drain pipe. So now, we seek refuge in the arms of comfort, in the beauty of fireworks!" She bowed, and the audience cheered.

Aokiji, who still had his mouth dropped, pulled her close. "Are you trying to make me look like a complete idiot?"

"Let me think about it…yes!" She smiled while still waving. "Well folks, it's been awesome, but we have a bride-to-be to congratulate, may her wedding night be as beautiful as the grand fireworks!" She waved to the cheering crowd, while the leading the slightly distraught admiral away.

"I hate you." He mumbled.

"I hate you more." She said with a grin.

30min

After walking along an esy path, they ended up in a suburban neighborhood, that looked pretty average. They walked until they were in front of a pink house, but before she could knock, Aokiji spoke. "Remember, you cannot tell these people the truth about what happened."

"The truth was not nearly as amusing as what I said back in the village." The girl smiled.

"Which reminds me, WHAT THE HELL? WHY ARE YOU MAKING UP STORIES THAT MAKE ME LOOK LIKE A COMPLETE AND UTTER JACKASS?" He demanded.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because you are!" She yelled back. "If I can't tell the truth, then I'm going to spin the most ridiculous lies until someone calls me out on them!"

"Listen, you little brat!" He lifted a finger at her. "If my life becomes miserable because of this, I sure as hell am making your life miserable! Capiche?"

"Try it, Admiral Moron!" She challenged.

"Glad to, Petty Officer Shrimp!" He accepted, and the sparks between their eyes were revived.

"Manda-chan?" They stopped and turned to young woman staring at them with curiosity. She had short orange hair, giant brown eyes, and wore a pink apron over jeans and a yellow shirt. She blinked and spke again. "Manda-chan? What are you doing here? Why didn't you say that you were visiting? And who is this with you?"

Amanda smiled. "Ah, Mira-chan! You look great! Don't mind him!" She punched Aokiji's crotch, making him double over. "He's my associate, Admiral Moron; veteran marine and veteran idiot. He's traveling with me to crack some secret-inside-terrorist attacks, believed to be from Cipher Pole. Can you believe it?"

She covered her mouth in surprise. "Oh dear." She bowed politely to the pained admiral. "Thank you for assisting her. Please, come in."

"Glad to." Amanda dragged the reluctant admiral in, and forced themselves down on the couch. Amanda then noticed the older girl had her eyes on the handcuffs, Amanda sighed. "This idiot was hitting on women, and screwed up a magic trick."

"Really? But I thought you said he was a veteran marine?" She asked confused.

"He is, but he is also a veteran idiot; hence the name Admiral Moron." Amanda smiled.

"Which is why, we in the navy, also have a nickname for her. Petty Officer Shrimp." He smirked at the girl's stiffened posture. "This lost kitten came to us in the pouring down rain in the middle of the winter, abandoned by her guardian."

"Oh dear, what happened to Mr. Ichimaru-san? He was so nice." The young homemaker asked.

"…Special training, Mira-san. To see if I can break a marine admiral's will down to the form of soggy, shredded paper." She vein-popped. "And boy, do I look forward to it, Admiral Moron."

"I appreciate the challenge, Petty Officer Shrimp." Aokiji vein-popped as well.

"Mira-chan, what's going on in here?" A new voice entered. Both looked up, to see a young man about twenty with short brown hair, brown eyes, and wore overalls over a red plaid shirt. "Who are these two, are they…oh hey, Manda-chan!" He waved, recognizing the girl. "What are you doing here? Mira-chan and I didn't think you'd make it for the wedding."

"Hehee…no worries Archie-san, just dropping in." She waved it off. "Don't mind him, he's my associate Admiral Moron, whom I'm forced to work with for whatever reason." Aokiji was about to retort, but the young man interrupted him.

"I see." The boy hid his face. "It seems as though Ichimaru-san is making you do a tolerance exercise, that's unfortunate. I'm afraid that due to that, you cannot come to the wedding."

"Archful-kun…" Mira placed a hand on his shoulder.

"No Mira!" He bit out. "We can't trust a marine, especially an admiral." Aokiji looked at him neutrally, obviously having received this reaction before. He turned his back to them. "I apologize, Amanda-chan; I know you'd never do anything to hurt me or Mira, but please leave. That guy isn't welcome at our wedding, and I can't ask you to cut the chain and disobey Ichimaru, so please leave."

Amanda kept a neutral face and didn't say anything. Suddenly, the sound of a gun, caught both the Admiral and the girl's attention. They turned to the source, and saw what looked like to be Mira's parents. "Get out bastard! Get the hell out!" Her father roared and pointed the shot gun at them. "Amanda! Hold still so we can shoot the chain in half!"

"We won't let the navy take our daughter again! Now get out!" The mother seethed.

After a tense moment, Amanda got up and tugged the chain, motioning Aokiji to stand as well. "We were just leaving, I apologize for intruding. Have a lovely wedding."

The two of them left without incident, and walked back towards the town. After a few minutes, Amanda spoke. "After the incident with that Vice-Admiral, the island had developed a mistrust towards the Navy, but didn't flat out exclude them due to the extra income in their tourism. But Mira-chan and her family flat-out hated them after that, they consider all marines scum essentially. Sorry, forgot to warn yah."

"I'm sure you did." Aokiji replied sarcastically.

"Oh, like I meant to get rid of our only shelter for the night." Amanda replied also sarcastically

"Don't you have any money?" Aokiji asked. "The way you made it sound, you get paid pretty generously."

"First of all, Sir created an account that stores where of my cuts go, and I'm not at legal age to obtain those accounts freely. Secondly, I'm on a fixed weekly allowance of ten bucks, and I often don't carry any money on me because my dresses often don't have pockets and it often gets lost somewhere during a fight. So I normally bring about twelve beri." She explained.

"So you bring enough money for food and water, but not enough for lodging, why?" The Admiral asked.

"I normally stay at the client's place for jobs, it's cheaper and I can keep an eye on them at all times. What about you? You're a Navy Admiral, don't they pay you decently?" She questioned.

"I don't carry large sums of money with me either, it's too much of a pain." He sighed.

"So, we're sleeping outside tonight. Think you can handle it, Peter Cottontail?" She smirked.

"If you can rough it, I can go rougher, pipsqueak." He glared.

"Sheesh, at least by the dinner first." She responded, leaving Aokiji to turn to stone.

That Night

After setting a fire, and choosing their designated sides, Aokiji stared into the fire, with the chain reflecting its glow. Without looking at the Admiral she spoke. "You never answered my question."

"What question?" He replied without glancing.

"What do we do now? We need to get these cuffs off us." She said.

"…We need to get to Spa Island." He noted the look she shot him. "Don't give me that look! I saw Kizaru on a luxury cruise-liner that belongs to the resort. He and the other Admirals are required to carry keys and cuffs with them at all times. So, all we have to do is get a ship, and we'll be there with in two days time. Unless…" He gave her a hopeful look.

"I can't teleport somewhere I've never been." She replied as if obvious.

"You've never been called out there?" Aokiji rose a brow.

"No. Sir would probably consider the assignment too easy, and take it for himself." Her eye twitched in annoyance. "So, we steal another ship, then?"

"That's the plan." He sighed and laid down, putting his arms behind the back of his head. "Night, pipsqueak."

"Night Peter Cottontail." She laid down too. This was going to be a long night.