Hey y'all! I'm back at it with a longer fic. I was rewatching the end of season 2 and I thought, what if Luke had died in that accident. This goes into Rayna's reactions and how she copes. Thanks to RClaybourne for all the help and suggestons!
Disclaimer: I don't own it... But if I did, who knows….
Rayna finally agreed, Alan Jackson convinced her to sing Best Songs Come From Broken Hearts with him, but knew it would be tough for her. He talked her through it at sound check, but she just seemed to be distant and upset.
The morning of the concert she downed most of a bottle of whiskey and let her stylists get her ready. She slowly walked backstage knowing what was to come, she had to sing the song that Luke helped her through the first time she sang after her accident.
Bucky smiled when he saw her, "you ready Rayna?"
She sighed, "I just need a minute before I do this "
Bucky nodded, and Alan approached her, "hey Rayna"
She groaned, "just give me a minute!"
He nodded, "we don't have to do this Rayna…."
She saw some whiskey and chugged it back, "I'm good. let's go"
She ran onstage with Alan and started the song after they played her cue twice. They got about half way through and she started to cry. Alan encouraged her to work through it, and she couldn't contain her tears as she continued her last verse. Alan hugged her and she just cried. The audience applauded her for making it through the song. She stumbled off stage and grabbed the whiskey. She just stood there, drinking as she listened to George Strait, Brad Paisley, and Zac Brown Band sing her boyfriends songs. Bucky walked up to her, "we can go Rayna"
She shook her head, "I need to stay"
He just nodded as she continued to drink. She finished off the bottle and cried as Eli Young finished off a song, "Buck where's my whiskey?" She yelled at him, chunking the empty glass bottle on the floor.
He sighed, "Ray..."
She continued to cry, "dammit Bucky! Where is it?"
He just shook his hand and stopped a stage hand from handing her another bottle. She screamed at him, "GIVE ME THE WHISKEY!"
It was loud enough that it could be heard through the slow drums that were playing for the next song.
Bucky sighed, refusing to give her the alcohol. She sank to the floor crying, "I need it to get through this!"
He approached her, hoping to get her to a quiet dressing room. She screamed, "GET AWAY FROM ME!"
Bucky knew this would be bad in the media the next day, already reporters were hovering. He fought them off, saying that she just needed her space. She continued to cry as she hid behind a large drum case.
Alan approached her, and knelt down, "Rayna… hey"
She ignored him and continued to cry, her eyes searching the small space for a bottle of whiskey.
The man sighed, "Rayna… why don't we go for a walk outside?"
She shook her head no, "I JUST WANT LUKE!" she sobbed, slamming her fist into the drum case.
As the last song finished, Deacon rushed off stage and straight to her side. Bucky knew Deacon would be the only one there she'd listen to. he looked at Bucky, "is she drunk?"
Bucky nodded, "looks that way. could you hear her up there?"
Deacon just sighed, nodding. Her voice was a powerhouse even without a microphone, so the screams and sobs were echoing through the auditorium. "yeah."
Bucky shook his head and glanced at the crying singer who was curled up on the floor. Deacon made some of the others give her some space and he slowly approached her.
He knelt down and she opened her mouth to scream at him. He put his finger on her lips, "stop right there. I know this is hard, but Ray, this isn't good"
She pushed him but he regained his balance, "Rayna... Let's get you back to the dressing room"
She protested but he helped her up, she fought and screamed most of the way but he got her there. She stumbled to her vanity and grabbed the golden liquid that sat next to her makeup. He shook his head and sighed, "Ray"
"GET OUT!"
He shook his head, "I'm not going anywhere"
She cried and took a glass flower vase, throwing it his way. He dodged the flying object before approaching her, and making her sit down. She whimpered, and continued to cry. Bucky walked in and Deacon motioned for him to stay back. The man cooperated and sighed, "we need to get her home"
After downing her last bottle of whiskey she just sunk to the floor and cried, loud sobs and screams. Deacon approached her, but she didn't protest. He put a gentle hand on her back and she continued to cry. "Shhh Rayna"
She collapsed on him, sobbing. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close. He eventually helped her up and to his truck, "Buck I've got her"
He sat her in the passenger seat and drove away, taking her to the cabin. She cried most of the way and fell asleep in the end.
He carried her into the cabin and upstairs to the bedroom. She was so drunk so he laid her on her side, placing a trash can by her bed.
He called Bucky when they got back to the cabin, "Hey…"
"Deacon. How is she?" Bucky asked.
"she's pretty much passed out. I know tonight was hard for everybody, but she definitely struggled all night."
Bucky sighed, "yeah, she drank a lot. And I know she didn't eat…"
"how long has this been going on Bucky? This is the worst I've seen her" Deacon asked.
"I've just started to notice it about a few weeks ago. Could be longer though"
"Maddie talked to me last week and was pretty scared. I know she's building up her walls again"
"yeah. Deacon she's showing up drunk to media events and it's getting pretty obvious" Bucky explained.
Deacon sighed, Rayna was beginning to squirm in bed and he knew she would be miserable as soon as she opened her eyes. "hey, look. She's wakin up, I'll call you back"
Bucky agreed and they hung up. Rayna tossed and turned a little longer but finally woke up feeling sick. She sat up and immediately threw up before making it to the trash can. She cried but Deacon helped her into the bathroom, sitting her on the tub. He stripped the sheets and put new ones on. He cleaned the carpet and went to check on her, but she was throwing up again. He held her golden hair back and rubbed her back, "just let it out Ray"
She threw up once more and leaned back. He got a washcloth and wiped her clammy face. He got a clean flannel shirt and helped her change. He helped her brush her teeth and lay back into bed. He sat by her, "how're we feelin?"
She whimpered, curling up on her side. "Rayna"
She just ignored him, and moaned. He sighed, "Ray darlin"
He sighed, "I know last night was hard. But Ray you can't keep doin this"
She moaned and buried her head in the pillow, "I feel like shit"
He chuckled, "whiskey will do that to ya Ray."
She sighed, "how much did I..."
Before he could answer she was in the bathroom again throwing up. He was by her side in seconds holding her hair and rubbing her back.
He sighed as she leaned into him, "a lot. Ray... You need to talk about this"
She groaned, "stay out of it Deacon. I just had a bad night"
He sighed, "yeah, last night wasn't easy. But this is been goin on longer that just last night"
She got up and gagged, moaning. She tried to push him away but was just too weak to even muster up the strength to hit him hard enough. He gently pulled back the golden hair that hung in loose curls around her face. "I've got you Ray..."
He rubbed her back as she threw up again. She rested her head on the cold toilet seat and whimpered. He sighed, he was really worried about her. He hoped she would let someone back in and take a break from the whiskey. He knew it wasn't as easy as it sounded, and he didn't want her developing an addiction. She started to cry "you know what would make me feel better?"
"What's that Ray?"
"More whiskey" she cried. Lifting her head up.
He sighed, "hate to break it to ya but it doesn't work that way"
She whimpered, "not fair!"
He sighed a little, "Ray, I know you're hurtin, we're here for you, you've just gotta let us in"
She whimpered, laying her head back down. He rubbed her back, "let's get back in bed Ray"
She whined but let him help her up. He got a glass of water and brought her, "you need some water Ray"
She sipped the cool liquid that soothed her throat. He smiled, "can you talk to me?"
She shook her head, "I'm fine. Last night was just hard"
He nodded, "it was hard for everybody Ray. I could see you really struggling with Broken Hearts"
She nodded, and hung her head.
He sighed, "let me ask you somethin, did you drink a little before the show?"
She bit her lip and nodded, "I couldn't calm down..."
He sighed, "you made it through. But I will say Bucky is doin damage control today"
She groaned, "what'd I do?"
"You don't remember?"
She shook her head, blinking back tears.
He squeezed her hand, "you cried through broken hearts… that was expected. But then you screamed at Bucky to give you more whiskey and to leave you alone while you were backstage"
She groaned, tossing her head back onto the pillow. "It's probably all over the news"
He sighed, "I haven't talked to Bucky yet"
She sighed, "I'll be fine Deacon..."
He just squeezed her hand, "you ready to call Buck?"
She groaned, "I guess I have to"
He gave her the new phone Bucky got her earlier that month. She touched a few buttons and called her manager.
"Hey Ray" he greeted.
"Hey..." She nervously replied.
"How're we doin today?" He gently asked.
"I feel like shit..." She groaned.
He sighed, "you had a rough night Ray"
"How bad?" She hesitantly asked.
"Tabloids are eatin it up. It's bad. Your record is still holdin steady in the charts, but people are concerned" he explained.
She sighed, "last night was really hard. I will say that. And that's all I'm gonna say"
"Alright Ray. You just get some rest."
"Buck what do the girls know?" She asked, worried about her babies.
"They know that you had a hard time last night, but Tandy's taking care of them now"
"Okay... What happens next?"
"Well we had some radio interviews but I pushed those back. They all understood that you needed some time. Bluebird called and asked if you'd do a small show. I said it was possible." He explained.
"I dunno Buck. I'll try next week" she sighed.
He agreed, "just a small set. No big flashy dresses, something simple"
"I can try, okay. That's all I'm giving you"
"That's good. I'll take that" he agreed.
She hung up and sighed, groaning. Deacon smiled, "well?"
"Bluebird wants me for a small set next week"
"You think you can do it?" He asked.
"Maybe..." She mumbled.
He sighed, her vulnerability finally showing through. He nodded, "I'll help you. I'll be right there behind you"
So sorry for the long wait. I didn't think I had the next chapter of this done, but I did. And then real life got in the way. but I now have the next chapter already done so the update will come sooner! Hope y'all enjoyed.