"You've been quiet. Everyhting okay? Did Will call you? Is it about Zoey?"
Erin stepped next to Jay who watched their kids playing through the kitchen window and shook his head.
"No. I'm just worried about Nate. They both went through a lot during the last years and I'm not sure if everything's so easy as we thought before. I've talked to him and he's really confused about whats going on right now. Even if we adopt or get them into permanent foster care without regular visits of their birth parents, it felt like being caught between two stools. And it's just…"
Jays voice broke. Thats when Erin took his hand in comfort.
"It's…he reminds me so much on myself. There are days you just want to hug them and never let go, because you're so sorry for their past. This whole issue with their father. They're just like Will and me when we were at this age. At one point you want them to forget what happened and on the other side it's that they have the right to deal with the truth."
"I know. I'm afraid of the future. When it comes to the point where they question everything because we aren't their real parents. The same problem like I had, when I had to chose between my mom and Voight."
"It doesn't have to work out that way, if we are honest and accept them with all strength and weaknesses and… "
Jay stopped talking, glancing outside again.
"Whats going on with him?"
Jay cut his sentence short, seeing that Nate touched his chest going tot he ground.
Erin who witnessed it like her boyfriend started to move first, running outside. Something seemed really wrong and she already suspected what it was.
"Hey, big guy. Is everything alright?"
Nate started hyperventilating and shook his head no.
"I can't breath", he whispered between sobbs.
"What's wrong?", Jay screamed, running to the rest of her family.
"Asthma attack."
" Get his inhaler. It's in the medicine cabine. In the first aid kit."
"Copy that."
Meanwhile Erin kneeled down on the grass, trying to calm down her youngest, while her words mixed up with the questions of her concerned daughter.
"What's wrong with him?", Zoey paniced, when Erin tried to calm her down.
"He's gonna be okay", Erin stroked Nates hair, trying to let him sit on her lap.
She knew lying down would make it even more worse. Although his attempts of breathing sounded horrific.
"Baby, look at me. Don't close your eyes. Take deep breathes. Inhale and exhale. Copy me. In and out. And in and out", Erin tried to get him calm since she knew that he would be freaking out by getting no air.
It was the second time she had to gone through an attack and she already felt it being more worse than the last one.
"No, were not lying down! Stay in my arms! Look at me. Nate, look at me!", she screamed at him when Halstead returned, kneeling down on the ground, shaking the inhaler to put it in front of his sons mouth.
"Alright, Nathan. Take deep breath for me."
Jay sprayed for a second time, feeling that the boys breathing slowly went back to normal. He tried for a third time, already noticing that Nate started to feel better.
"You feel better now?"
The little boy nodded confident but bursted into tears.
Erin and Jay sighed, while Zoey stared at her brother with wide eyes.
Halstead pulled Nathan in his arms. The little boy was shaking so hard and the cold sweat ran from his temple, when he clinched on Jays t-shirt. Finally sobs got quieter and his breathing seemed to get back to a normal rhythm.
"Alright. It's over. You gonna be fine. It's okay, buddy. It's okay. Shhhh…Shh…", Jay continued rocking him gently in his arms, looking to Erin with a telling expression on his face.
"Call my brother", he formed his lips, making Erin to get up to take Zoey with her in the inside of the house.
"The two of us better stay outside for a while. I'm here. You gonna be okay", he encouraged Nathan, who looked up at him, both eyes red from crying. His face was as white as a wall. Jay placed his hands on his shoulders, providing some security and forcing him to continue breathing in a normal rhythm.
Nate seemed extremely scared of his body reaction. Although it wasn't the first asthma attack he went through.
Jay started to distract him by telling a story of his own childhood.
But seeing Will finally coming from his car around 20 minutes later, improved the situation.
"Oh man, what happened? Today is a bad one, huh?"
"Asthma attack."
"How long?"
"Couple of minutes. He was playing soccer when he suddenly started to have trouble breathing. We got his inhaler in time."
Nate started couching. Automatically having all eyes on him.
"Any excitement before?"
Jay shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't know. It wasn't that bad."
Nate still snuggled on his foster parents chest, shyly looking at Will.
"Okay, little guy. There's nothing serious going to happen. I just want to listen to your lungs, okay?"
He glanced to his brother.
"Can you carry him inside?"
"Of course."
Halstead put him on his arms to get him into the house where Erin still tried to calm Zoey down.
He placed him on the couch and took seat next to him.
"Let's put your shirt off. Uncle Will just wants to listen to your heart beat and check on your lungs", he helped him to get out of the wet shirt, passing it to Erin who already took a new one from the drawer.
Will listened to his stetoscope, nodded satisfied.
Nate still coughed a little bit, suffering from the aftermath of his attack. But his breathing seemed more steady than before.
"Alright. It was defnietly an attack. Despite that you should see a lung sepcialist. He probably needs a higher dosage of his regular pills."
"Shall we go to the hospital?", Erin asked in concern, but Will denied, putting his stetoscope back.
"No, not right now. He seems fine. I still suspect some different reasons. Can I talk to you alone?", he requested Erin and Jay, pointing at the floor.
The younger Halstead nodded in understandment.
"Zoey, can you just take a look at your brother? We're right next door", Erin explained to their daughter who took the responsibility and sat down next to her rbother.
Jay directed them to the floor.
"Listen, folks. I don't know what is going on right here. But on behalf oft he kids you should change something. First Zoey collapsed, now Nathans asthma attack. It all leads to a burdening situation. Usually children show other reactions than grown-ups. This is their way to tell you that something is really wrong. So, I'm asking you: What the hell is bothering them so much?"
"Old situation. Birth mom and dad. Visiting hours, forced by children's service."
Will shook his head, unbelievable of what happened.
"I don't know guys. But if you don't want to have two wrecked-up kids, this has to end."
"If you tell that to the social worker, that would be fine."
Will sighed.
"Honestly. What are you thinking? That we like to take them back to their old home twice a month?"
"Listen, I've got a very good friend, who works as a pediatrician. I'm gonna ask if he's willingly to write a mediacal opinion on how the visits affect Zoey and Nate physically and mentally. I suggest that they should stay at home with one of you. At least for the rest of the week. We should evaluate it as very serious situation. They need security to rest and recover. Alright?"
"Thank you so much, man", Jay clapped his brothers shoulder.
"Talk to your boss. Probably it would be great if you divide the days off work, cause your guys need both parents. They should finally come to rest. No excitement."
"We will."
"Good."
He shook hands.
"I'm gonna call you tomorrow. Stay safe.."
"You too", Erin answered, glancing at Jay before her eyes wandered to the living room where the kids were sitting on the couch…
CPDCPDCPD
„Everything alright, guys?"
Jay and Erin entered Nathans room, where both children spent their time by playing lego.
"Look what we did", Zoey explained by pointing at their house, making Erin smile who bended down to take a closer look.
"This is really beautiful. Is that our house?"
"Of course."
Jay sat down on the desk chair, looking at the figures.
"This is Zoey and this is you, Daddy. And this is Mummy. And me", Nate passed the figure to Jay, who started laughing.
"I guess, we have a lot in common", Halstead pointed at the Lego figure, realising that both children ignored their real parents. Even if they had more figures to involve them tot he scene.
"Yeah."
Jay smiled at Nate, pulling through his hair.
"You're okay, buddy?"
"Mh."
Nate nodded, sitting down on his bed.
"Listen, guys. Can we talk to you for a second?", Erin questioned, getting both children to look at her.
Zoey put her doll away, scepitcally looking at her foster mum.
"Since we think that you're a little bit sick, Uncle Will and us decided that you don't have to go to school for the rest of the week. Jay is staying at home fort he next two days and I take Thursday and Friday. How does that sound?"
"Cool", Zoey whispered and her brother agreed before he coughed for another time.
"Do we have to see our real parents next week then?", she complained anxious. Jay shook his head.
"No, sweetie. You don't have to."
Nate coughed for another time. Obviously the issue put too much stress on him.
Thats why Jay walked closer and soothed him by stroking his neck.
"Should we get your inhaler?", Lindsay asked in concern, but he shook his head.
"Attaboy. You tell us when it's time, okay?"
"Yeah."
"Mom? Can I ask you something?", Zoey continued the conversation.
"Of course. What is it?", Erin wanted to know.
"If parents don't love their children. Why do they want them? Parents who love their children don't treat them in a bad way."
Erin started to feel sick. Her eyes met with Jays.
"It's not that easy, Zoey. Even if there are problems later, nearly every child is made with love. And if it living with the birth parents doesn't work out, foster parents take that part."
"I don't care since I'm not seperated from Nate. You remember Sara from our childrens home? Alicia Jones said, that she was taken away from her little brother after two years in foster-care last week."
"Really?", Nathan asked in shock, when his sister agreed.
"Yeah. They took him away. From one night to another."
Thats when the youngest started to panic.
"I don't want to be seperated from Zoey. I…."
"Shhhh… Guys, hey. No one's gonna seperate anyone. That won't happen okay?", Erin stroked Zoeys hair.
Both faced their parents in a fearful way.
"We're police. And I know Clara from child-protective-service. As long as she knows that you're fine with us, she won't take you away."
"Pinky swear?", Nate whispered.
"Pinky swear", Erin raised her smallest finger, getting the kids more calm.
"How about having pizza tonight? You ready to help me in the kitchen?"
"Sure", Zoey answered, already making her way to the kitchen area to follow her little brother, while both parents remained in silence.
Jay took seat on Nates bed, before Erin sat down next to him.
He sighed, folding his hands together and grabbed one of the stuffed animals.
"Hopefully we're able to keep our promise."
"What else did you want to tell them? Explaining the instability of the foster care system and waiting for a further breakdown? Truth is, court still can decide what it wants. If they transfer Zoey or Nate to another family or to their birth parents, we have a slim chance to influence their desicion. We're just able to make the best out o fit."
"Or talk to Voight or Clara if there might be another way."
"What do you mean?"
Erin looked him in the eyes.
"Adoption. We take a further step and surprise court with a request."
"That doesn't bring us anywhere. We have to become their permanent guardians first."
"Erin, Voight always pulled some strings. Why not this time?"
"Because it's fragile like hell. One mistake could change everything into a bad situation."
"But we're police. If you could chose between a detective and a former drug addict. Who would you decide for?"
"I wish it would be that easy. If someone finds out about my past and he gets my old CI file were done."
"Erin, you were sixteen."
"So, what?"
"Mom? Can we take the cheese in the fridge?", Zoey screamed from the kitchen, interrupting the situation.
Erin sighed, rolled her eyes.
"I'm coming, baby", she answered before she glanced at Jay desperately…