78 Hours post Snap

After a meeting with the president and a press conference assuring the people of Earth that the Avengers would do everything in their power to bring Thanos to justice, the few remaining Avengers, Rocket, and Cassie finally arrived at the Avenger's Compound.

Pepper met them in the living room. The pump knot on her head was still very visible, and it was obvious she had been crying. But, Pepper was most comfortable when she was doing something proactive. As soon as greetings and condolences were out of the way, she got straight to business.

"You did a good job with the press conference. People need to believe the Avengers are working on the problem. Hopefully, it'll help with some of the unrest," she said before stopping to take a breath. "The president made a good call not sending you to the streets. It's better if the police and the National Guard try to keep the peace. They need to believe you are forming a plan against Thanos.

But, the world is grieving and they don't even know how to process what just happened. I think we need to do a memorial service for the fallen Avengers, a very public one. Besides giving people an example of how to grieve properly, we need it for ourselves." She paused again. "I think it's what Tony would have done."

Steve nodded. "You're right. Tony would have done whatever he could to bring the civil unrest to an end. I think we should do it."

No one objected to the idea, so Pepper pulled out her notes. She hadn't slept much since the snap, so she had the memorial service basically planned. She looked at Steve. "You should give the eulogy. You were the leader before things went south."

"I'll do whatever you want me to do, Pepper. I didn't get to make peace with Tony. I have to live with that for the rest of my life. If you need me for anything, I'll be there."

"I don't want to dwell on the past, Captain. It won't help. What happened between you and Tony was horrible, but it doesn't matter anymore," Pepper replied. "He made you something. He knew the day would come when the world would need you to fight together again. It's in his lab. Would you like to see it?"

"I would. Thank you, Pepper."

While the others settled into their rooms for the night, Pepper led Steve along the familiar path to Tony's lab. Sitting on a workbench in the corner was a new shield. "Tony spent hours on it," Pepper said as she handed it to Steve. "He made it a little lighter, more aerodynamic. He spent hours pouring over his father's original design trying to decide what he should tweak and what he should leave the same."

Steve touched the shield almost reverently. "I can't accept this, Pepper. I don't deserve it. I should have trusted Tony enough to tell him what Hydra had made Bucky do myself. I failed him."

"You failed each other, Steve. You were both alpha males who had to be right, and, in the end, it made you both wrong. Tony cried when he came back from the raft. We weren't together then but he showed up on my doorstep in tears. I'd never seen him like that. Tony blamed himself for the torture the others were being put through, especially what they were doing to poor Wanda.

He's the one who warned Natasha they were going to arrest her. He couldn't stand the idea of her being arrested, and he's the one who sent you the coordinates. Tony knew you'd get them out."

"I think part of me always knew Tony sent those to me. I miss him, Pepper. I missed all of you. I just wish I could talk to him one more time."

"Me too," Pepper replied. "Tony and I were talking just before the first attack. He'd had a dream that we had a son. He said it felt so real. I laughed at him and told him we weren't expecting. I was wrong, Steve. After the accident, I went to the emergency room. I'm pregnant."

Steve pulled Pepper into a hug. "I'm glad you'll still have a part of him. If things had gone differently, I'd have been there when Howard became a father. I would have been around to watch Tony grow up. If you'll let me, I want to be there for his child. I want to tell him what a great man his father was and how his grandfather helped change my life."

"I was hoping you'd say that, Steve, because I want you to go back to leading the Avengers. I'm raising Tony's child here. I want him to know why his father was willing to sacrifice his life." She paused to wipe the tears from her eyes. "I don't think I really understood why he couldn't give up being Ironman until the last few days. This is the kind of thing he wanted to prevent. He was a hero. You all are in my book. Finish what he started, please."

Steve finally walked Pepper to her room. It was getting late, and the last few days had been hard. No one had slept much. The compound was quiet. He had only his guilt to keep him company.

When he opened the door to his old room, the light was already turned on and Natasha was dressed for bed. She was laying on top of the covers on the same side of the bed she'd slept on at the palace. He couldn't help but stare.

"Everyone is settled. I put Cassie in my room. It didn't seem right to put her in the rooms of anyone we lost. I introduced her to Friday. She knows to just tell Friday if she needs me. I told Friday to let me know if Clint had a nightmare, too. I'm rambling. Please say something, even if it's 'get out'. I just-"

"It's okay, Nat. You don't have to leave," Steve assured her.

"Good, because I don't think I could sleep in Wanda's room. I feel so numb."

"Me too. Pepper was right. We need the memorial service," Steve said as he stepped into the bathroom to change. He left the door cracked so they could continue their conversation. "She wants me to lead the Avengers again from right here. Tony made me a new shield before all this happened."

"So, we're staying," Natasha replied. "I think that's a good thing, don't you?"

"Well, it's what Pepper asked me to do and I owe it to Tony to look out for her and his child."

"His child?"

"She's pregnant. I have to stay."

"And, I told you, I'm not leaving you're side. If you stay, I stay."

Steve exited the bathroom and crawled into bed. "Good, because I can't do it without you." He turned off the light and was silent for a moment. "Eventually, we are probably going to have to talk about a few things."

"Eventually, we will but not tonight."

"Tomorrow, we figure out how to say goodbye to those we lost. But, soon, we are going to have to talk. You have to know how I feel about you, but I meant what I said. I can't be what I could have been to you before things fell apart, Nat. If I hadn't turned us into fugitives, we would have fought at Tony's side. He would be here to raise his child. You deserve to be with someone who isn't responsible for destroying the world. If you decide to go back to Bruce, I'll understand."

"Are you serious right now? Bruce? I know you don't want me to be with Bruce. He told me about your little conversation a few years ago. You thought you were being so noble. You were being a coward, Steve. No, you are not who you were a week ago, but do you honestly think I'm who I was a week ago? Wanda's gone. Laura and the kids are gone, Steve. Clint is barely hanging on. I just need to feel something other than this numbness, and the only time I feel even halfway like things are going to be okay is when I'm with you." Natasha turned on the lamp and started to get out of bed. "This is crazy. I'm just going to-"

Steve grabbed her arm. "No, don't go." He pulled her to him and crushed his mouth against hers. She responded immediately and the kiss intensified. It wasn't gentle. It was just two people trying to feel something other than grief. Steve began working his way down her neck. Finally, realizing what he was doing, Steve stopped. "Not like this."

Natasha pulled his face back to her own. "Exactly like this. I won't break, Steve." Steve returned to her embrace.

The sun was streaming through the window. It was still early. Steve looked to his side. Natasha was fast asleep. The blanket had slipped down to her waist. What kind of a monster was he? She deserved tenderness. He had always thought if they were ever in this position it would be about a new beginning, not just a distraction from the turmoil.

Natasha must have felt him staring at her, because she opened her eyes and looked into his own. "Awake already, soldier?"

"I guess sleep isn't going to come easy for awhile," Steve replied. "I don't think an apology is enough, but I'm sorry about last night. It was a mistake."

Natasha turned on her side to face him. He could see her defenses appearing before his eyes. "Mistake? You think what we did was a mistake."

"Yes, look at us, Nat. We're both so lost in grief. Last night wasn't what it should have been, what it could have been. That wasn't love making. It was anger, guilt, and maybe even fear. You have to see that. I shouldn't have pulled you back into my bed."

Natasha pulled the blanket around her and reached for her clothes. "If you don't know what last night was about, Steve, then you're right. It was a mistake." She dressed quickly and stood to leave.

"Nat, please don't go. We need to talk about this."

"Eventually, we will," she repeated her words from the night before, "but not right now."

As she walked out the door, Steve sighed. He'd even managed to fumble his apology. She was angry, and she had every right to stay that way. But, he already missed her presence.

Natasha had used her extremely early departure from Steve's bed to dye her hair back to red. She was angry. Last night may not have been about love for Steve, but it certainly had been for her. No, it wasn't gentle love making. It was raw, as raw as their emotions were over their losses, but it certainly wasn't bad. She sighed. This was not the way she expected the morning to go.

"Ms. Romanoff, Miss Lang is awake and asking for you," Friday informed her as she was finishing getting ready for the day.

"Tell her I'm on my way, Friday."

Natasha collected Cassie from her room, and they walked to the kitchen. "Your hair is different. I like the red," the child informed her.

"Thank you. I decided to go back to my natural color. Your dad and Clint made deals so they could stay with their families. The rest of us had to hide. I bleached my hair."

"And, Captain America grew a beard," Cassie added. "I'm glad my daddy didn't go on the run. He would look funny in a beard," she giggled.

Natasha saw the exact moment Cassie realized she had referred to her dad in a teasing tone. The child's eyes teared up. "You know it is ok to laugh at the idea of your dad in a beard. It's okay to smile when you have a good memory or think of something funny your parents did. It's as much a part of grieving as crying."

"Thank you, Ms. Black Widow."

"Anytime, Cassie, but if you're going to stay here with us, you can't call us Captain America and Black Widow all the time. My name is Natasha. People I really like are allowed to call me Nat. You want to try that out for size."

"Ms. Nat, what's for breakfast?"

"Better, but lose the Ms., and how about cereal?"

"Cereal is good, but I'm not allowed to call grown ups by just their first name. Can I call you Aunt Nat?"

Natasha's breath caught in her throat, saying yes felt like a disloyalty to Cooper, Lila, and Nathaniel. She didn't get the chance to answer, because Clint walked into the kitchen. He must have seen the pain in her eyes, and she could definitely see the torment in his own.

Clint looked at Cassie. "How old are you?"

"Ten."

"My son was just a little older than you. If he were here, he'd tell you Aunt Nat is the best aunt in the world. I think he'd appreciate knowing you were looking out for his Aunt Nat."

Natasha and Clint exchanged another pained expression, and he pulled her into a hug. "She lost everything, too. It's okay to let her call you Aunt Nat," he whispered. "I know you aren't trying to replace them."

They were still hugging when Cassie tugged on Clint's shirt. "What do you want me to call you?"

"Tell you what, you can call me Uncle Clint. I've never been an uncle. Why don't you just consider all of us your aunts and uncles, okay?"

"Okay, Uncle Clint. I think that would be okay with my mom and dad and Jim."

Natasha handed Cassie a box of Lucky Charms. While the girl was pouring her breakfast, Natasha looked at Clint. "Maybe you two can help each other. You lost more than the rest of us."

"We all lost a lot. The only thing that will help me is revenge, but we should try to help the kid," Clint replied as he took the cereal box from Cassie. "I bet Cap will be happy to see that red hair again." Natasha frowned. "What? Did I misjudge the situation. Laura was always better at that stuff than me. You two have just been so inseparable, I assumed-"

"It's complicated."

"Of course it is," Clint sighed, "need to talk about it?"

"Not in front of Cassie."

"Oh, it's that kind of complicated."

"What's that kind of complicated?" Steve asked as he entered the room.

"Nothing," Natasha replied a little too sharply.

"You look nice," Steve replied. "You went red, and I haven't seen you in a skirt in a long time."

"Didn't have much use for them on the run. I'm glad Tony didn't get rid of my things. Pepper and I have to go finish the arrangements for the memorial service. You got Cassie?"

"I do," Steve replied. "Any chance we could talk privately for a minute? I think I did a poor job of apologizing."

"I think you did, too. And, no, I need to go find Pepper."

"Can we talk later?"

"Eventually," Natasha replied as she left the kitchen.

100 Hours Post Snap

Phil Coulson was weak. He didn't have much time. Melinda was gone. One minute, they were sitting on a beach drinking mai tais, and the next, Melinda was vanishing before his eyes.

When he realized it had been a worldwide phenomenon, he knew what he had to do with his final days. It had taken more time to get to his destination than usual, since he had no access to a quinjet. Flying commercial was bad enough when the world wasn't in anarchy, but finally he had made it.

Phil rang the doorbell. The A.I. that answered definitely wasn't Jarvis. It was a female voice. When Phil said his name, the A.I. informed him he was mistaken. "Please say your name again. Agent Phil Coulson is deceased."

"Let's just say the rumors of my demise have been greatly exaggerated. Please tell them I'm here before I really am dead," Phil sighed.

Steve and Clint were the first ones to appear at the door. Neither of them looked much better than he did, and he was a dying man.

Steve just shook his head. "How is this possible?" he asked.

"You're dead," Clint added. "Not turned to dust days ago but dead for years. What's going on?"

"Okay," Phil replied in a tired voice, "long story short, I was dead. Fury brought me back not long after the Battle of New York. It was need to know information. I'm here, because I'm dying, um, really dying this time. I lost someone in the snap. She was very important to me. I may have lost others, but I have no way of contacting them.

If I only have a few days left, I want to use them to help. That's why I'm here," he finished softly. "It would really be great if I could come inside and sit down before I fall over."