End of the Strings
Chapter 4: For You, My Beloved
Other things may change us,
But we start and end with family.
-Anthony Brandt
People often say to me, that I have to be better for my self. That I don't have to cover his back anymore, that I have to unleash my true potential, that I have to break my own rule, that I have to be the hard working me like I was before I entered Shinryuuji.
Why do they even bother?
It is me and I already had enough with pushing the limit.
It is for Agon to do it.
I born to support him.
I born to see him win.
I will always be his shadow,
Because I'm the only one he can rely on.
"Good morning, Unsui-san!"
It has been a week since Gou started to study at Shinryuuji. Ever since the first day the homeroom teacher brought him to me, he already sticks to me and Ikkyu like a glue. Whenever Ikkyu is not around he'll stay with me, vice versa. It's not that it's irritating but, the way he pushed me everyday, is making me tired.
"Morning, Gou."
Ah, here it comes, his undeniably 100 dollar smile. He's such a happy-go-lucky boy, overly positive that it hurts to see when he radiates him self with all the 1000% energetic spirit. I smiled back at him, and thank God, Ikkyu already come so he doesn't have to bother me anymore.
There is no morning practice today, so we just met here, on the class, like ordinary boys. Talking about silly things, asking for other's homework to copy on. Stuff.
Gou him self adapts really quick to the new environment, everyone likes him, I'm wondering if it's his talent to be liked by people, just like his brother, who easily took the AmeFuto members' heart. Well, talking about that, there is no morning practice today because Sendoda-Sensei is back, and he said that he had something he wanted to talk with Iori-san. Maybe he wanna ask Iori-san for a team teaching? Who knows. Agon him self being quiet a good kid after he's beaten by Iori-san. He still complains, but he didn't skip any practice and when Iori-san ask him to do more round for practice, he did so. Even if they still fight with their mouth every now and then, it seems that Agon found someone he worth looking to beside Ikkyu in this school. While the contrary, Agon and Gou is like cat and mouse. Gou always make a comment of the delinquent action that Agon committed, I don't understand why he got so ticked off with everything that Agon did. It's just Agon being Agon. As long as he doesn't commit a crime, it should be fine by him. Right?
"Why are you staring at me like that, Unsui-san?"
Oops.
"Sorry, I was just day dreaming and didn't realize that I was staring at you," I apologized, should've faced the window before I lost on my thought.
"Ahahah, it's ok donmai!" He grinned, and his pony tail wagged, I always wondered if his ponytail is actually alive. It's… kinda moving according to Gou's mood. Gou, is an example for a freeman. He does everything that he wants, he goes mad easily, he forgives easily. Maybe that's why he made many friends in just a week. He doesn't hide anything in his words. When he feels that he need to say it, he will do it.
"You should stand for your self, Unsui-san."
That again.
My mind wondered back to the time when Gou is there with me, on the locker room after he had a little fight with Agon. He said that. I wonder… Why that statement is lingering around on my head everyday. I already told my self that it is fine. What I done is right. I shouldn't be selfish. Not anymore. No. What I have to do is to make Agon win.
Then again, Deimon proved me wrong.
Yes they did prove it. It is perfectly fine for an average person to stands in the line between the chosen people. I'm not blind. I also see how Sakuraba fights his way to the top. I also see Kurita clearly beat the Dinosaur. I also see, a struggling Quarter Back. Hiruma Yoichi.
…
Everyone always work so hard to achieve their goal.
"I'm sorry, we thought you're him. The scholarship we sent is meant to be delivered to Kongo Agon."
I'm different from them.
They have no one to take care of.
I have Agon that I have to see.
The homeroom teacher comes in, I stand and lead the salutes to the teacher. I see both Ikkyu and Gou are giggling to each other. It seems that they have a good time, Gou is always pushing him self so hard when training, Ikkyu taught him well too. Because he saw that Gou's height might be useful as a Receiver. Gou said that he doesn't mind to be one, as long as he can play football. As long as he have a chance to stand with the first class player.
Maybe he's right, maybe I should stand for my self.
"Go forward and rush the commoners in your way…
Believe only in your own power…
That's how I…
Will feel rewarded!"
But then again, I've took this path.
"It is my wish… To make my brother the strongest player.
I will take full responsibility for the outcome of his actions."
"That path will be… A grove of thorns for you."
"Since the start… I've had my resolve."
I don't have to set a goal for my self.
I only have to be there.
For him, my beloved little brother.
The class is over, no practice on the evening too, but I guess I'll take a look at the field. I see it everyday so it will be a little bit weird if I don't see it today. I took a quick step on the stairs to the field, I assumed that no one will be there, but it will be nice if I can see Agon there, for a little secret practice.
What am I saying; of course he won't do that.
I chuckled as I arrived to the field. The wind is nice, it's almost Christmas, it's almost the Chirstmas Bowl again. Last year we lost to Teikoku, like we always did for 9 years, we want to take revenge this year, but Deimon crushed our dream. Me, Agon, Ikkyu and probably Gou will still be able to play again next year. But not to Yamabushi-senpai. His dream ended, without tasting the victory over the Emperor. While my dream still continues. My dream is to see Agon standing there, be the best, the top, the King. And I will surely see him there. Soon.
"Ara, Un-chan? What are you doing here? Don't tell me that you didn't know that we don't have practice today?"
Iori-sensei is here?
"Ah, yes, I know, Iori-sensei," I sling my bag to the side of my body, "I just wanna see the field."
Iori-sensei, is always so flashy. Like, he wants people to look at him. He wears things that usual man on the street doesn't wear. Stylish scarf, tight black turtle neck shirt, nice brown belt, jeans, boots. Is he a model or something? He's tall enough to be one, and his body. Ikkyu and the others said that they wish Iori-sensei was a woman. Figures. His hip is what you call a deadly hip. …Well I don't quite get it but that's what they said.
"Sensei yourself, what are you doing here?" I tried to start a conversation, maybe I could gain something useful from talking to him. Or I might hit the jackpot, yeah, he might tell me the reason why he left the team.
"Me? I just have a talk with Kanto—no, Sendoda-sensei," he quickly sits on the bench, crossing his leg, "I might be a permanent coach here."
"You will?" He patted the empty spot beside him, asking me to sit with him, "Everyone will be glad to hear that, I guess."
"Will they?" He giggled.
I'm pretty sure that he's a model. He's being quiet… charming with that giggle right now.
"I'm not a person who will go easy on you guys, you know," he tilted his head to the side, then looking up at the clear evening sky, "It's always fun to see young men working so hard on something," he sighed and turned himself at me. Our eyes met. His jade eyes behind his clear glasses, staring deeply on mine, "Un-chan, I know that this might be a sensitive topic for you, but…"
This again.
"About me taking full responsibilities of what Agon did?"
Can we not talk about this when I'm around?
"That too… but what I'm wondering is… Why don't you try to be stronger, for Acchan too?"
Acchan?
"I don't need to be stronger."
"Un-chan, you know," he stood up, and stands in front of me, looking down on me, "He needs someone that he can keep up with, if it's not you, who else will?"
"…"
"He's not a bad little brother after all, right?" He laughed, offering his hand to me, "Sendoda-sensei told me… that you choose your own path to take responsibilities of Acchan's behavior, and make him the strongest."
I grabbed his hand and stand up, looking up at him who's taller than me. I fell silent, I didn't know what to say or what to answer. I don't know.
"If you don't become stronger, he will be the strongest without you."
"That is fine," I can answer that, "I don't mind, I said to him that he doesn't need to look at commoners like us. He doesn't need to."
"Un-chan… why are you being so hard to your self?"
"I am not."
"What sin that you committed?"
Iori-sensei grabbed my shoulder tightly, it hurts. But I let him, I don't even want to see his face. I want to run from his questions. Please stop it.
"What are you punishing for yourself for?"
His grip on my shoulder becomes harder. I'm still standing, still looking down, still trying to run from his questions.
"Un-chan, stop running away!"
"I DON'T!"
I pushed him off harshly. He fell to the ground. I panted. I don't want to face this anymore. I don't want.
I don't want.
"Un-chan… I might sound like I bug in someone's business, right?" He chuckled and stood up, "But then again, I'm not lying when I saw my old self in you."
I remain silent. We're two feet away now. He patted my shoulder as if he forgives my action before. I tried to catch my breath. To gain my composure. To be calmer. There this blood rushing on my brain. I feel so angry. I feel so pitiful. I don't need anyone's pity. I don't need anything. I don't need you to comfort me.
"If you feel rewarded just by seeing him on top…" He whispered on my ear. His voice was soft, calming, and warm, "Then you should at least be stronger to be able to see him, to feel him, to be actually rewarded for the hard work you had done for him." He pushed my self away softly, patting my shoulder and smiled, "I know how does it feel to be a big brother that's overshadowed by their little brother."
"Sensei- I…" I should apologize. I was being too harsh towards him.
"But my little brother made me realize that…," He talked again before I can apologize, "Feeling satisfied by seeing people accomplish something, is same like running away from the problem we faced."
Running… away?
"Un-chan, you wanted to be a bigger and stronger player right? A player that people will recognize, but Agon in front of you is making people never see that you are exist."
…
"You did this for the sake of your little brother, you care about him, that's why you're doing your best to let him be the strongest. But, Un-chan, that was your dream. To be the strongest in American Football. To be recognized as a great player. To be accepted in the top, and play against people who stands there. That was your dream to begin with…"
"…"
"Don't give your dreams to other people so easily, Un-chan…"
"I…"
"Achieve it together with him…"
"Sensei…"
"Because we're the older brother after all, right?" He smiled again at me, pulling my free arm and hugging it with his slender hands.
"S-sensei- what are you—?" I tried to pull my hand off from him, but he keeps pulling me closer. The more I struggle the more I sink. Like an octopus eating it's prey.
WHAT IS THIS SENSEI PLEASE LET ME GO.
"Fufufu… Un-chan, you're so interesting~" He laughed as he pulled off from the field to the stairs where we have to go down to reach the bus stop. He keeps pulling me down like a girl who's having a date.
NO WE'RE NOT HAVING A DATE SENSEI LET ME GO.
With my complain all over the way to the road, he finally lets me go when we reached the bus stop. I sighed in relieve, patting my chest, that was quiet a shock for my heart. It's still racing so fast.
"Ne, Un-chan, you don't have to change now," he sits on the bench on the dim bus stop. The next bus will be here in 10 minutes, "take your time, slowly is fine, take one millimeter ahead everyday…" He looked up at me who's still standing at the edge of the bus stop, near the sign pole, "I'm sure, Agon too… Will feel rewarded if you can stand beside him."
"… I don't know…" I answered hesitantly, grabbing my sling bag, looking away from his gaze, "I can't answer that now, Sensei…" I heard him snickering and laughed happily on the bench, adjusting his red scarf on his neck then walk towards me.
"Sensei…?"
"I understand…" He suddenly pulled my self closer and leaning his face close to mine. It was... awkward for me. Like.
What... the?
"That's why I'm so interested on you, Un-chan,"
A kiss.
On my cheek.
"SENSEI?!" I jolted and jumped back, hitting the pole with the back of my head and flinched because of the pain. Iori-sensei was laughing, holding his stomach like he saw something really, really funny. I rubbed the back of my head, thank God that didn't do anything serious to me. But... "W...why did you do that... Sensei?"
"I said it, right? I'm interested on Un-chan."
"No, I mean."
Gay?
"Are you—" the G word stucked in my throat, "Why—?" I couldn't say it. I stared at him with the Why the—
You did it to me? He smiled, then chuckled, then sighed.
"I've been keeping my eye on you since your first year on the Naga."
"...Yes?"
"And when I realize, I like you," He giggled again, like a girl in front of the man he love. Wait. I mean. I know that no girl confessed to me but... a man? Just what kind of curse— whatever, is this?
"Just keep in mind that I like you, maybe not in the gay way, you see," He patted my shoulder, giving a reasurring touch, "Just... Maybe, because I see some part of me in you, so I become this... hm... uncontrolable around you? Whenever I see you hold back for something it kinda bugs me, make me want to say come on, it's fine, do it for fuck's sake, yeah."
"O…..k….." A long ok from me, I just… loss. I don't even know what I'm dealing with now. After he pushed me so hard about achieving my goal by my self now he just… sort of… confessed….. to me? This man… drives me crazy I could just bang my had on the pole and fainted so I can skip the night without thinking about this the whole night.
"Do you feel irritated? Annoyed?"
"No… I… not really…" I shrugged, yeah, I wasn't… annoyed, no it's not an annoyance, "I just don't know how to respond to this… Sensei… To tell you the truth it did like a confession, you did kiss me on the cheek," I looked away with a slight blush on my face.
"Heheh," He took a step away from me, "I'm sorry, Un-chan, you're just too cute to handle," and gave me a wink.
Oh God.
"You could consider that as a confession and for the kiss, it was… Well… Something that I couldn't resist, you see, every time I see something or someone that is too cute I usually kiss them on the cheek outta the blue, so that was me," He explained, oh so, he didn't actually like me in that way. I sighed in relieve.
"I see… That's…good to hear," My response is still awkward. Somehow I didn't think that he was being true. Or is it me who actually wanted someone to sincerely… like me?
"So don't be bothered by it, ok? I'll see you tomorrow."
With a bow he walked away from the bus stop, leaving me behind. Wondering what actually just happened to me. Wondering if I could actually sleep tonight.
One thing that I can be sure.
He wasn't a bad guy.
He do taught me something.
And I will try to reconsider his suggestion.
"Achieve your goal, do not run away."
Maybe… I'll do that.
"I actually liked you."
And forget about that one.
I rubbed my cheek softly with my cold palm, and smiled. The bus is here, the door opened and I step in to it, then I walk to the furthest seat beside the window, sitting comfortably and looked to the street from the window. It was dark, but not scary. The street lights made the road looks pretty. It was calming.
"I actually liked you."
I chuckled and slowly closed my eyes.
Author's note:
WOAH GUYS I ACTUALLY MADE IT! IN ONE DAY! I tried to take Cookie's suggestion and started to build a more step by step plot so readers can comfortably read it without getting confused of the back and forth plot. What do you think? Did I nail it? Or is there something missing here? PLEASE DO TELL ME, COOKIE, and everyone who's reading this fic and had the time to write a simple review, it will mean so much to me. This time is Unsui's POV before we jump to Agon's POV next chapter! I don't know how long I will need to do that, because it is Agon and there are so many things I need to learn about him. Unsui is my favorite character so it's kinda easier for me to write what's on his mind than what's on Agon's mind. So I'm sorry if the next chapter will be delayed for at least 3-4 days, because I'm planning to join 24 Hours Comic Day too tomorrow! Last but not least, I'm sorry if this fic is full of dialogues because I want to emphasis a little bit of Unsui's hidden emotion here, also sorry for the lame confession from Iori, you'll figure out why he's obsessed with Unsui in the next two chapters. Or maybe I will do Iori's POV first? We'll see.
Thank you for reading, everyone, I reached 80 hits and it makes me really happy. Also, as I promised, I finally able to drew two really really quick doodles for Iori and Gou, you can see them both here by tyoing the instagram site (yeah just type it like you usually type it browser since this site doesn't allow me to post a link) and add this link behind it (Gou) /p/fCnRdOsxb1/ and for Iori /p/fCor8bMxco/
LAST WORDS
THANK YOU FOR READING please stay tune for the next chapter!