Yes! The chapter is up! And it has been made longer than it was going to be originally, just for all you lucky readers. Enjoy!
At the camp...
"You know," said Raine, "Sweetums(Eclipse) has been missing for quite a while. And Daddy Kratos and Baby(Sara) have not shown up yet. I'm worried." She heaved a motherly sigh.
"Don't worry!" said Presea, ever the optimist. "I'm sure that they will be coming any minute! Have faith and be strong, Mommy!"
"Thank you, Rosie-poo!" Raine smiled. "That's a good thing to keep in mind!" And she hugged Presea.
The Kodak moment ended when the grass mumu natives ran through the camp, knocking over tents and supplies while still holding the hair symbolically over their heads. Hot on their trail was Eclipse, dragging Colette (who was still crying) in the dirt.
"Get back here!"
"Follow thy nose, wherever it goes!"
With a final crash they left the camp. The silence was broken by Lloyd's wail. "Woydie hungwy! Fweed Woydie!"
"Oh, sorry, Cutie-pie!" Raine fetched a jar of baby food. "Sheena, honey, will you feed Lloydie?"
"Life is pointless," groaned Sheena, a depressed adolescent who was in the midst of giving herself paper cuts with her cards to relieve the pain of living. After getting paid some serious gald, she grudgingly spooned food into Lloyd's mouth. Zelos put more mascara on, while Regal, being horribly near-sighted, walked into a tree and knocked himself out. While Presea and Raine were tending to him, Genis finished cooking up another casserole of love, because that was all he could make. Yes, it was another normal evening for everyone. Well, almost everyone.
Meanwhile, in the scabbard...
I almost opened my eyes, but then remembered, "Every time the tragic hero opens up their eyes, they really regret it. Big time. Hey, isn't there a song called big time? Oh yeah, there is! Yeah, it's by-"
"Wake-up, food! Wakey-wakey!"
"Hmmn?"
I opened my eyes and instantly regretted it. Kratos and I were dangling on a rope attacked to a cliff. That wouldn't have been too bad, except that we were hanging over a pot of boiling cabbage and marshmallows.
"May I inquire as to what the heck that foul concoction is?" I asked tentatively.
"Your final resting place!" was the cheerful, squeaky response.
"Oh...all right. Just checking..." I turned to Kratos, who was awake and quite shocked by these turn of events. The bunnies left to cackle with evil mischief.
"We have to get out of here." I told him.
"But how? You got us into this mess! You get us out!" he wailed.
"Au contraire, my friend! 'Twas not I! It was...them!"
"Them?"
"Them! The authors!" I turned my head to the heavens. "You hear me! You hacks better do something right now or else this story will be..." I took a deep breath. "...TO BE CONTINUED LIKE IN THE CANCELED SOAPS!"
Kratos gasped in pure terror.
Meanwhile, in a computer room...
One of the authors gasped in pure terror. "'To be continued'! This can't happen! If this story is lost, then what will happen to our fame and fortune! What about out dream careers! WE'LL NEVER KNOW HOW THE STORY ENDS! What about-"
"Aw, button your lip and let me think." The second author snapped. "And breathe, too."
The first author quieted down and took in deep calming breaths. When she had calmed down enough to stop babbling, the problem still remained.
"So, what do we do now?" asked author #1.
"I think you know what we do." replied author #2 gravely.
"B-b-but, we s-swore," stammered author #1. "No one h-has ever-"
"'-Done this before.' I know!" finished author #2. "But we don't have any other choice."
A silence, then, "All right, let's do it!"
And while that was happening...
"Follow thy nose!"
"Get back here!"
"I'm so happy!"
Ok, that was pointless. Meanwhile...
"We're getting you guys out! Hang on! This is gonna be really weird!" yelled authors #1 and #2.
"Hurry!" screamed Kratos, his butt inches from the cauldron. "I'm scared!"
"Oh, shut up, you drama queen!" said Sara, who was, as you know, also in the same predicament.
Will our heroes be free, or will their butts be fried! Tune in next time!
Or just continue reading now!
In the computer room...
"All right! Let's rock!"shouted authors #1 and #2.
With the force of a wounded beluga whale, the authors' fingers rained upon the keyboard. Random words were appearing like dandelions on the screen. Light poured from the computer and angels sang.
"How do we know if this is working?" yelled author #1 over the noise.
"I don't know! Let's check on them!" called back author #2.
Meanwhile, over the boiling cabbages and marshmallows...
At that moment (when we last left them), Sara and Kratos's pot of doom disappeared.
"Whew!" Kratos heaved a sigh of relief.
Then, in place of the cauldron, a shark tank appeared. Great white sharks leapt out of the tank and snapped at them. One succeeded in getting a chunk of Kratos's pants.
"AAAAAAIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!" screamed Kratos. "WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
"Kratos, stuff it! Someone's pulling us up!" yelled Sara.
"But who?" asked Kratos.
"Oh, no. THEM." Sara gloomily sighed.
"There's no way that some stupid great white sharks that appeared out of no where are gonna steal OUR food! We nabbed you first!"
The little bunnies "Heave-ho!"ed out heroes all the way up to the cliff top from which Sara and Kratos had been dangling from.
"You...saved us..." Kratos gasped. "W-why?"
"They already said why, dummy," Sara sighed. "They're going to eat us. Weren't you listening?"
"What? What was that? Did you say something?" Two cotton balls had magically appeared in Kratos's ear canals.
"Since we can't pickle you in out most delicious pickling juice (it's partially hydrogenated)-" started one of the bunnies.
"THAT WAS PICKLING JUICE?" Sara roared.
"Don't interrupt, food!" And with those words, one of the bunnies conked Sara on the head with a sledge hammer which appeared out of nowhere. She slumped to the ground with a groan. Kratos whimpered.
"Now where was I? Oh yes. Since we can't pickle you in out most delicious pickling juice (it's partially hydrogenated) and since we're so evil, we'll eat you whole!
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Kratos.
"YEEEEEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAH!" screamed the bunnies.
"AAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" screamed Sara.
Time seemed to stop.
In the computer room...
"AAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" screamed author #2.
"What? What's wrong?" asked author #1 fanatically, as she returned from a snack break.
"THE STUPID COMPUTER FROZE UP!" yelled author #2.
"Come again?" said author #1.
"I SAID, THE STUPID COMPU-" started author #2.
"I meant quieter," said author #1.
"Oh." Author #2 cleared her throat. "The stupid computer froze up."
"Don't worry, I can fix it." Author #1 flipped some switches and pressed a button. The whirring and humming stopped, then resumed.
"Yay! You're a genius!" Author #2 hugged author #1.
"Aw, shucks," author #1 said modestly.
"Well, I'm taking a break now." Author #2 skipped off to the kitchen. "Hold down the fort while I'm gone, 'kay?"
"Hey! Get back here, you mooch!"
While that pointless argument was going on...
"Follow(huff, puff) thy(pant, huff) nose (puff wheeze)!"
"Come(huff, puff) back (pant, huff) here(puff wheeze!"
"I'm(sob, snivel) so(sniff, snivel) happy(wail, sob)!"
And while that equally pointless thing was going on...
At that moment, a miracle happened. The computer rebooted and the bunnies turned into lemmings. And the lemmings, as you should know from old wives tales, would now immediately leap over the edge of the cliff and into the shark tank. And that's exactly what happened.
"WE'RE SAVED!" yelled Kratos.
"It's not over yet," cautioned Sara.
"Why? What's wrong?" Kratos searched the desolate landscape.
"It's the end of this chapter. We have to wait here until the next one."
"Waaaaah! No fair! We'll die of boredom!" cried Kratos.
"Hmmm... It's possible. Well, goodnight." And Sara fell asleep.