Once Dad had gotten me inside, which he had to literally pick up and carry me to do so. He let me sit in the living room as I continued to sob, probably figuring that once I calmed down that I would talk to him. He put away the groceries and waited.
Alone, he let his true worry show, he'd set down a glass of water for me and hugged me. I buried my face into his shoulder as my breakdown continued.
I was suddenly just telling him I was sorry. He was probably even more worried now. The next thing I knew he was shaking me to try to snap me out of my breakdown.
Very few things made my dad lose his infamous stone exterior. The top of that list was something being wrong with my mother or I.
"Alisa, calm down. What happened?" He tried again.
When that didn't work he actually dropped the nickname and used my real name. Then my full name.
As soon as he said "Belikov" my breakdown got worse. I literally couldn't stop myself by this point.
Then before I realized it I was speaking again, crying out all my feelings. All my thoughts from before spilling out. He let me speak about feeling like a failure but as soon as I said I would be better off as a bloodwhore he literally covered my mouth with his hand.
"Never talk so low of yourself, Alisa. You are still young, you will have plenty of time to learn," he sighed, "This is why it's being fought again for Dhampirs to graduate at 18. Not everyone is like your mother. You are not a failure. Roza and I don't care if you aren't as skilled as us, we are just happy to have you. Especially after all the hardship your mother went through to keep you," he removed his hand from my mouth and I sniffled a bit.
Dad just had this way of bringing someone out of despair. Maybe it was because of how he was when he was turned back, from the very little Mom had told me of it. I really didn't want to ask him and bring back bad memories. Either that or it was just in his nature. I would prefer to believe that over the former.
By the time I had completely calmed down Mom had gotten back from spending time with Aunt Lissa. I sat on the couch, quietly. From what I would hear from the kitchen Dad was telling Mom about my breakdown. Mom was surprisingly quiet through the talk. It was almost like they had switched places.
When they had finally come out. Mom didn't say anything. We were all surprising silent until I broke the silence with why I had come over, because it obviously wasn't to have a breakdown.
"Why didn't anyone tell me about the Strigoi near the wards?"
They were both briefly taken aback before Dad spoke, wow he was doing a lot of talking today.
"It's not really your concern. We-"
"I'm a Guardian, of course, it is my concern!" I interrupted.
"Yes, you are, but you are nowhere near ready to fight a Strigoi," Mom said, finally.
"Did I say I was?! I just would like to know! It would make me feel like I wasn't a failure!" Why was I so upset? Hell, I didn't even know. My emotions were just completely raw at this point.
Mom was ready to counter back but Dad stopped, "Remember what I said, Alisa. You're not a failure."
His calming tone soothed some of my rage but I just didn't want to be told how to feel. The next thing I registered was that I was out the door, slamming it behind me. I was surprised to not hear either of them come out after me.
My body seemed to know what I was doing before I even knew it. I wasn't even walking toward the gates. I was walking to the wall that surrounded the Court. I'd always felt my stamina and endurance was the reason why I had just barely passed everything. I had very little strength or speed but I could wear an opponent out pretty easily to be honest.
Before I realized it I was climbing the wall. There were bound to be cameras around… why hadn't any Guardians come out to stop me? Neither the less I was at the top and hopped off the wall with little effort. I landed, my balance giving out a bit and I stumbled. After composing myself I started to make my way toward the wards. It was midday vampire time so I could make it.
I felt myself suddenly become nauseated. I stopped walking and took a few deep breaths. It was coming in waves but it was definitely nausea. Only one other time had I felt this way, which was when I learned to read labels on food. I was very young at the time okay?
Once I felt I was at least use to the feeling, because it didn't want to go away, I started walking again. The feeling only got stronger as I neared the wards.
It then dawned on me. My mother grew nauseated when she was around Strigoi because of her being Shadow Kissed. Had some of that gone to me?
I froze once I got to the wards and took no further steps. There was the Strigoi, sitting under a tree not that far away. He was male, wearing the dark clothes Strigoi are said to wear.From the distance I could not see the red that I knew ringed his eyes. This pale white skin was illuminated by the moonlight and his hair nearly matched being a blonde-white color and it was spiked upwards. I suppose Strigoi still like to look good to attract victims.
I shook my head at the thought as I clenched the silver stake, which was in my jacket inside pocket, that I had been given shortly after graduation, tightly.
If my crazy not-so planned plan didn't work and I lost at least I would be a dead failure. If I won then I would have a good accomplishment. I just needed to remember, this wasn't going to be anything like at school.