A/N: Special thanks to .witch and Child of Dreams for Reviewing so faithfully! I hope you will continue the support! It means a lot to me!

Chapter 4 – Love's A Curious Thing

'' 42°C?! How in the hell are you even still alive? Your fever is on a deadly level! '' His eyes open at her outburst. Kat is about to have a stroke. That's it. She retires. She is not capable to deal with that shit. This isn't normal, this isn't something she can heal with a lot of rest and a cup of tea. This might kill him, it should have killed him already. If she wouldn't have heard his sneeze and recognize the voice to it, she might have discovered his body at some point. That bloody stubborn idiot was risking his life just to follow her. He rather risked to just drop dead than to just get help. Mad or not, she would have helped him if he had just come to her!

''…I will be fine- '' She shakes her head, her hands trembling as she reaches for her phone,

'' No you won't be! You will not be fine, Erik! I'm gonna call an ambulance. Tony should be in shift right now, I'll call him. ''

'' No… no Doctors. They will not… treat me… if they see my face…'' Erik tries to sit up but the blankets are keeping him down long enough for Kat to push him down with one hand while scrolling through her phone. She holds the phone to her ear as soon as she found his number but her eyes shift to Erik. He is clearly afraid of a doctor but right now she couldn't care any less about that. She can't treat that shit. She can stitch up someone that was shot or stabbed but she can't treat this kind of fever!

If was just half as afraid of dying, we wouldn't be in this situation now.

'' Erik shut up. If I don't call an ambulance, you will die. I have nothing here for a fever like yours! How could you be so stupid to just follow me around dressed like that! Fuck. I don't even know how to treat that. Look, a friend of mine is working as a paramedic, I call him. He won't say anything about your face. '' She can see the urge to argue with her but it's more than obvious that he's too weak for that. As she hears Tony picking up, she cuts him off before he has the chance to greet her,

'' Tony, it's Kat. Can you grab your bag and come over quick? Like real quick. ''

'' What happened? Are you alright? '' Tony's deep voice abruptly asks in worry. She sighs,

'' Yeah I'm fine but my boyfriend, he's… he's got a really high fever and I don't have a fuckin' idea what to do. Can you please come over? ''

'' I'm on my way. ''

'' Thanks… ''

15 minutes later the doorbell rings, causing Kat to stop her in her pacing through the room while always having an eye on Erik and dashes to the door to buzz Tony in. She carefully removed both Erik's wig and mask what he quit with muttered protest but it's not like he could do much to stop her. Not in that state. She soothed him too, told him everything's okay and that Tony won't say anything about it. He takes the stairs to be up faster and soon steps into her sight,

'' Thanks for comin' by this quick. '' She steps aside to let him in and closes the door with an absent push.

'' No problem ...So, boyfriend? '' Kat feels her cheeks suddenly burning, she didn't even realize that she called him that.

'' Yeah… I'm gonna explain that later… -Look, before you go in there: He's got a birth defect. I got the mask and wig he usually wears off, but it's a really sensitive topic…'' He nods,

'' Got it. '' Kat forces a small smile to her lips but it drops again almost right away. She watches Tony walk towards the bed and after biting her lip and taking a deep breathe, Kat is going after him. Tony already tries to take Erik's pulse but Erik is being a bit bratty,

'' No, do not touch me. I don't- ''

'' Erik, stop that! He's gonna help you so stop acting like a brat! '' She snaps, causing Erik to wince. Slowly Erik ceases his resistance and allows Tony to quickly check up on him. Like promised, Tony's eyes don't stop a second too long on the deformed half of his face. She wasn't expecting Tony to be impressed by it, he's seen worse more than once but she had to make sure he won't mention it.

'' Mike's owing me a 20. I knew you'd have a thing for the dirty-blondes and were gonna settle with that. He was going for ginger. '' Kat grins at Tony's words,

'' Well actually he's winning then. I do have a thing for ginger. 's not my fault he's blond. '' Tony chuckles and opens his bag to take a couple of instruments out of it. Erik's either not capable to say something about their conversation or he's so caught up in that delusional state that he's not even realizing that they're talking about him.

'' Honestly though, you just had to pick the most handsome guy you could find, didn't ya? '' Tony grins at her over his shoulder. Kat sees the sudden confuse on Erik's face who obviously slowly realizes that it's about him. Kat was already expecting that her friends, especially her gay friends, will very openly say how attractive he is. That was actually another reason why Kat wanted to take him, it'd sure push his ego a bit if he's hearing a lot of compliments from a lot of people.

'' Well yeah. '' She shrugs. He grins. Erik's confused.

As soon as Tony's done he nods and pats Erik's chest with a smile,

'' You're gonna be alright, mate. '' Slowly he gets back to his feet and leans down to Kat,

'' Can you stay here for a couple of minutes? I think the best is if we put him in the tub and fill it with ice for half an hour. I'm gonna go and buy enough for that. ''

'' Isn't that, like, a really old way to handle this? Won't that be bad for him? ''

'' Yeah but usually you don't have people with a fever like that in London a lot either. It's very effective, oldie but goldie. ''

'' Yeah sure, if it helps let's do that. C-can I do something? ''

'' Talk to him. It's okay if he sleeps, just don't let him drift off too far. Know what I mean? ''

'' Got it. '' He ruffles her hair and quickly leaves the apartment. Kat looks after him for a moment before sitting down next to Erik with a smile,

'' See, told you he's nice didn't I? ''

'' Is my mask still on my face? ''

'' No. I've got it on the table. '' Her answer obviously confuses him even more,

'' He didn't even look at my face…''

'' I told you something like that isn't a biggie in my world. ''

'' He called me handsome. '' Erik mutters with a frown but Kat can see that he's a bit flattered by it so she grins teasingly,

'' Do I have to worry that you might have a crush on him now? '' His eyes narrow almost as if she insulted him but his expression changes into something very serious then,

'' There's no one on this world except you that I could ever love. '' She smiles, her hand on his cheek,

'' That's good. ''

'' Kathrine… will you sing for me? '' There's a sting in her chest. Singing his music would mean she forgives him, wouldn't it? No, most likely it's nothing more but a plead for the only love he ever had to sing to him because music was the only thing that stayed with him. That never abandoned or abused him. He controlled it, he created it. And he controls her with it. Down in the chapel, the first time he sang Music of the Night to her, as he tried to lure her to him on the graveyard. She can't do anything against it. It feels like his voice is calling out to her soul, leaving her incapable to resist him. Usually she'd say that he's probably not going to remember it anyway or that it's okay to sing because he's sick… But right now she's not sure if singing to him is not sooner or later leading back to her being caught again. She wants to forgive him already, singing might be not the best move she can make.

She loves him. Too much to be able to handle it and after he left her, she was at a point she never thought she'd get to. Suddenly suicide was not that bad of an idea to her. She couldn't end it though. Perhaps she was just waiting for him to come back, maybe she wanted the cause of her death to be alcohol, drugs and broken bones because it seems like less of a shame to her.

But even if singing to him now will lead her right back to him, she can't refuse him right now. Because he is hurt. How could she possibly say no to him in that state? After he was following her for a whole week and almost freezing to death just so he can keep an eye on her, she can't deny him that now. But her stomach cramps a bit as she inhales.

'' Love me… that's all I ask of you…'' Kat jumps as she hears Tony knocking on the her wall the moment she's done with the song to get her attention. With a last look at Erik she jumps to her feet and walks up to Tony. The tall man smirks at her,

'' I didn't know you could sing like that. '' She smiles with her cheeks blushing a bit,

'' He taught me. '' Tony nods towards her bathroom,

'' I covered the ground of the tub with ice. Do you want to get him naked or…? '' The very clear intention behind that question and the way he is obviously not at all unwilling to get Erik naked suddenly has her blood broiling and she hisses at him,

'' That's my boyfriend. ''

'' Just asking. I wouldn't mind. '' Her eyes narrow dangerously at him and Tony's smirk instantly drops while he takes a step back and raises his hands,

'' Whoa, easy Kat… I was joking. ''

'' You better be…! -He's naked already, though. His cloths were all wet and cold as I got him in here, I thought it'd be good to get him out of that and I was a bit hoping to get him washed up so I left him naked. ''

'' Was a good thought. Alright let's get your Adonis into the tub. ''

'' If your hands go anywhere near that cock, I'll break 'em. '' She growls quietly to make sure Erik won't hear that.

'' Damn honey, didn't think I'd ever see you turn green. ''

'' Never thought I'd have a reason to turn green. '' He shrugs,

'' Yeah, neither did anyone else in London. Don't worry though, I doubt he'd go for it even if I was trying to pull somethin'. I saw the way he was lookin' at you as you sang. ''

'' Yeah he better be...'' Kat grumbles and Tony ruffles her hair again but this time she hisses at him. Tony only laughs. Together they get the barely conscious Erik out of bed and into the tub. Only as Tony covers him with more ice is Erik reacting. He looks at his surroundings and his body relaxes. Kat and Tony leave the bathroom and close the door after they made sure he lies comfortably.

'' I'll call my boss and tell him what happened so I can stay until he's back in the bed. '' Kat bites her lip as she nods. After a while she sighs and meets his eye,

'' Thank you. ''

'' Don't mention it. '' Kat looks after him as he moves to the living room. As she hears him explaining things to his boss, Kat slowly turns back to the bathroom door. She grabs the handle but freezes before she can push it down to open the door. She can't deny that the current situation frightened her more than she likes to admit. He could easily have died out there. If he wouldn't have sneezed, if she hadn't noticed him, he would have died from that fever. Maybe he would have starved or gotten run over by a car.

To suddenly be confronted with the fact that Erik was dying and didn't care to get help because he didn't want to leave her is calling up a whole new battle of emotions inside her. Part of her wants to make sure he gets back to his feet and kick him then onto the next boat back to his Opera. What he did to her, all that shit he pulled in that short time they know each other is proof enough that he will never change. Doesn't matter what circumstances he's in, he'll always find a reason to bail on her or completely lose it. He will threaten her again, threaten her family again if she refuses him something. He's sick. Maybe it would help if he gets into therapy but that would take years and Erik would never be away from the Opera for that long. Neither can he just get to England quick for Therapy and then go back to the Opera. It's be too complicated that way. And if Kat ever falls out of love and wants to leave him, he will either snap or kill himself.

She understands that mental illnesses can completely control you and she was patient with him the whole time but she can't use that to excuse his behavior all the time. She's not obliged to let him hurt her and then forgive him over and over again just because he's sick. If Kat pulls some shit because of her own illness she is still being called out for it and she was kicked out of two jobs because of that already. Erik being sick explains his behavior but it does not excuse it.

But even though she knows all of that and can logically say it might be best for her to ship him off to old France and move on, she's not sure if she really wants that. If she weighs out the bad vs the good, the good things outweigh the bad. At least they do so now, who knows what it'd look like in a year. Then again, she can't say that the part that wants to ship Erik off is exactly big. It's more of a small piece, 20% maybe. The other 80% want to get him back to his feet and then back into bed, just not to rest. She wants to forgive him, she wants things to go on like they were before he bailed. She wants Erik to meet her family and friends and she wants to just be with him again. He followed her for a whole week, he rather had that fever killing him than leave Kat out of his sight. That's creepy and wrong on many many levels but it's also flattering Kat. She saw the bruises on his knuckles earlier and considering that Erik was probably watching Kat as she was in that Hotel with Omar, she'd say he was boxing in the wall to either calm down or because he was imagining that the wall was Omar. Perhaps he even wanted to beat her in that moment. Kat would probably want to beat him to death if he'd fuck someone else. Just that there's something Erik was probably not considering: If that stupid motherfucker hadn't bailed on her, he would be the one fucking her against a window. Maybe that was just another reason to beat in a wall.

'' Kat… who is that guy? '' She winces, her hand slipping off the handle. Tony's close to her and the smile that's usually always present is replaced by a mix of serious and worried.

'' Remember that my class had that trip to 19th century France, to give school-ending a good kick? ''

'' Yeah? ''

'' He was there. He eh… he was hiding inside the Opera because he was beaten for his deformed face, which is why he's got a lot of issues with his face. He managed to make others believe he's a Ghost. He's been leading the whole thing for a long time and as we got there he tried to drop a curtain on the leading lady. '' Tony breaks out into laughter and Kat can't fight down the grin either because this will always be hilarious.

'' So the Diva left and I was picked as a replacement and he was giving me singing lessons and then I kind of went into his secret hideout with him and blah blah blah… Long story short: That dumb motherfucker made me fall in love with him, discuss my feeling and my mental state with him and after we fucked the first time he bailed on me so I came back alone. A week ago he suddenly stood in front of me and I sent him to hell. Today I found out he was stalking me the whole time and because he didn't want to leave me out of his sight he refused to get help so he was basically just waiting to drop dead. ''

'' Wow… I mean- wow. That bloke's got a lot of baggage. ''

'' Yeah fuckin' tell me bout it...'' She grumbles and Tony clears his throat,

'' He followed you for a week and was ready to die because he didn't wanna leave you. He's… a tad bonkers, isn't he? ''

'' A tad? He's got enough issues to fill the fucking Titanic with it. ''

'' He got the right person then. '' Kat crosses her arms with a scoff,

'' Shut up, I'm doing the best I can, okay? It's just that- ''

'' I was serious, Kat. You're a bitch but you're good with psychology. You are manipulative as fuck. And as much as you know how to destroy someone, you can help 'em too. I'm good at taking care of injuries that are on the body but mental health? Man that shit is hard. You got a good wire to those people. ''

'' Well sometimes understanding someone is not getting rid of the problem...''

'' You figure it out. -Go to him. I'll come in as soon as it's time to get him out. '' Kat runs her fingers through her hair,

'' Could you buy him cloths real quick? Boxers and a shirt will be enough for now. I'll go shopping later when he's fine on his own. There's money in my bag. '' Tony nods,

'' Sure. ''

'' Thank you…'' Suddenly he closes the distance between them and nudges her shoulder a little,

'' Don't worry, he's gonna be up and running in no time. I promise. '' She offers another smile before slipping into the bathroom. Erik is only opening his eyes as she sits down on the edge of the tub. His eyes are a little less dead and that's probably a good sign.

'' How are you feeling? ''

'' I… cannot say for sure. ''

'' Say fuck. '' Erik gives her a clear look and Kat smiles sheepishly,

'' Sorry. ''

'' Why are you helping me? '' Kat looks at him in surprise, she didn't think he'd try to talk about something serious right away. For a few seconds Kat is just looking at him, not sure whether to tell him the truth or to lie. She could tell him that she would always help him, no matter what he did, whenever he's in trouble he can always come to her because she will never refuse him help. Or she tells him that she does this for the times they had fun and the moment he's back on his feet she wants him gone. Both is bringing trouble and it doesn't matter how she phrases it, one only will confirm him that she's still in love with him, the other might destroy him or make him kill himself or whatever his head is choosing but there will be consequences.

'' I already told you that, no matter what, I never stop loving someone. '' She finally says and just as she was expecting it, Erik's eyes widen in a mix of hope and happiness but he can't keep his eyes that wide open for so long so his head soon drops backwards and his eyes shut close.

'' You still love me? '' His voice is quiet but hopeful. Kat narrows her eyes, her voice barely louder than his,

'' Yeah…''

'' But you sent me away. ''

'' I'm still real fuckin' mad. Don't get me wrong here, I didn't say I forgive you. I don't think that I ever will… I might have been capable to forgive you for leaving but I will never forgive you for threatening my family. That doesn't change though… that you're the love of my life...'' Erik tries to sit up as he attempts to speak but a heavy cough soon has his body shaking violently and his face scrunches up in pain. Kat gently forces him to lean back again while holding a few ice cubes to his head,

'' Hey, 's fine, just focus on getting back to your feet for now. We can talk about that once you're okay. Just lean back and cool down. I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay right here. '' He looks at her another moment before slowly doing what she said. Kat hopes he won't open his eyes soon. Because she can feel a tear sliding down her cheek, soon followed by another. She only hopes he can't feel her hand shaking.

'' Time to get you out, mate. I've got cloths for you- not like I think you need 'em. '' Tony says as soon as he comes in what causes Kat to look up at him with a small, playful glare before her eyes drift back to Erik. He quickly fell asleep after relaxing and Kat moved to sit on the ground so that she can put her arm on the edge and her head on top of her arm.

'' He's asleep. ''

'' Alright, no problem. I hold him, you dry him off and get him dressed. '' Kat nods and stands up. Sitting in that position the whole time left quite the uncomfortable stinging in her legs but that's nothing a little stretching later wouldn't fix. As soon as Tony has a secure grip on Erik, Kat quickly dries him off and maneuvers him then into the simple pair of black boxers and the white, soft shirt Tony bought.

'' It's really kinda odd to have 'im in cloths from here. '' She mumbles while looking him up and down a couple of times. It's different and his missing mask and wig in combination with these casual cloths are… really turning her on. She takes her previous position to help get him back to bed but this time it's a little harder because Erik's still not waking up.

'' Why, I think he looks pretty damn good. ''

'' Oh he certainly does but it's still odd. The boxers look so much better on him than the stuff he used to wear. ''

'' Aw no, don't tell me he had those granny-panties. '' They put him back into bed and Kat tucks him in before holding up the previous underwear Erik came here with. Tony sticks his tongue out in disgust,

'' Ew, that is just nasty. ''

'' He's worried about his face, I think he should worry about these much more. ''

'' Amen. With and without the defect, he's really fucking handsome but these knickers ruin everything. I'm not sure how I'd react if I had a guy like him jump me in those. ''

'' I was distracted by other things at the time he finally did but thanks for understanding me. I'll burn them later I think. ''

'' You'd do him a favor. '' Kat nods and puts the panties back where they were before.

'' I'll make you a list with what he shouldn't do in the next couple of weeks and how much of what medication he will need to what time. I also write down what he should and should not eat or drink. The fever will cling down soon but he's still at risk of having a pneumonia and that's not something to joke about. I'm going to check on you two every now and then and if his condition gets worse call me or another ambulance because then he'll need to go to the hospital. ''

'' Got it Boss. Thanks…''

'' Don't mention it. I expect to be invited for a drink as soon as Adonis is back on his feet so we can do this whole meet and greet properly. '' Kat nods with a smile but that drops as soon as he closed the door behind him. Erik's breathing is almost calm now but his skin is still pale and he looks a little thinner than she remembers him. So he wasn't only ignoring his health, he was also not really eating. Kat could just smack him stupid over and over again for taking to many risks.

'' All that just because you couldn't leave me...'' She whispers, her eyes focusing on his face. His eyes are twitching every now and then, just like the edges of his mouth are. Suddenly she remembers all the good moments with Erik. Their first dance and the following, the moment he exposed himself to her and took her down into the layer, their kisses, the fun they had, the comfort she felt around him. And of course the sexual bits leading to the real thing after wanting it for so long. But the memory she loves the most is the night she had her first panic-attack in front of him. They were sitting by the organ and Erik was trying to convince her to do another performance. Erik held her and apologized, then he picked Kat up and carried her to the couch. He made tea and brought her candy. He held her, sang her favorite song to her.

And he promised to keep her safe. To never let anyone or anything hurt her.

Her eyes fully focus on Erik's face again. He broke his promise but at the same time he didn't. And it confuses her but she needs this. She needs him. She loves him. And she will never send him away again. Never. Even if he hurts her again, she won't ever tell him to go. Maybe it would be for the best to send him away but that doesn't matter anymore. Seeing him in that condition once is more than enough. She was ready to move on enough to live her life before but now that he's here, she can't help but remember how much good there was. He was taking care of her whenever she broke down and even as she yelled at him he stayed by her side. He was just ready to die and even though he is so sick right now he kept following her. How could she now possibly ever send him away? She won't forgive him but she won't send him away either. They could just ignore what happened and try to just go on like they usually would. He's in England now, they can do what she was planning to do and return to the Opera at some point.

Kat gives a single, dry laugh. If only that shit would work out this well. If only it was this easy. He will fuck up again and she will enter an episode because she is feel it since Erik left her. And if he fucks up again she won't be able to hold it back. If Erik is around while she gets into that state, she can't say what will happen. But it might be dangerous for Erik.

Then again, she is just as much at risk of entering that episode if she sends him away. Because losing him the first time was one of the worst things that ever happened to her and the pain is just getting worse each time she looses him again.

'' You're a bloody pain in the arse, you know that? Persistent bastard 's what you are. But you won. I won't ever send you away again, even if loving you destroys me for good. I promise. I'll take everything you throw at me… because you need me more than I need my sanity. I need you too but you deserve to be with the first person you ever loved. Just… please don't hurt me too much. ''

Of course Erik is not even flinching other than the twitching of his eyelids here and now. A sad smile comes to Kat's lips. Whatever it is that happens, she will endure it. It's not exactly healthy but it's the only thing that matters. They can work this out. There will be shitty times but as long as the good moments outweigh the bad, she's ready to endure the pain.

Kat leans down and touches his lips with hers in a gentle kiss. Kat allows their lips to touch for a bit longer before retreating just as slowly as she was leaning down. Erik mutters something in french but doesn't wake up. It's funny how little she heard him speaking in French yet considering he lives in France. Then again, most people in the Opera speak English, it's only logical to go with the flow there. Erik mutters in his sleep again and this time she understands him. Only one word but it's enough to make her smile.

…Kathrine...

Kat hums to herself quietly as she kicks the door close behind her and secures the bags in her arms once again. She bought about anything that looked like it might be good for Erik beside buying everything on the list Tony gave her yesterday. Erik didn't wake up yet but she's not worried, he's just catching up on proper sleep and allowing his body to recover. She sleeps a lot too after her episodes, that's normal. And Tony confirmed that too so she decided to trust that he won't wake up anytime soon and went shopping. In the end it's a bit more than just what's on the list but Kat thought that anything that isn't on the NoDo-List that looks healthy or has a lot of proteins will be fine. She got soups, vegetables, meat, fruits, snacks, tea and a couple of cooking books because she has no bloody clue how to make a proper meal out of the shit she got. She'll do the best she can and try to make something that tastes good but she can't guarantee for that. Either he eats it or he starves, simple.

'' Kathrine…'' With a small, startled yelp Kat drops the bags in her arms and looks up at the source of the voice. Erik's more or less standing but his body is leaning at the wall heavily and his heavy breathing gives away how weak is body still is. It must have taken a lot of effort to get out of bed and all the way down here, effort he was supposed to bloody avoid. Just in case he does wake up while she's gone she left him a note. She said she's just buying some groceries and that he's not allowed to leave the bloody damn bed one his own except he has to pee really bad.

'' You shouldn't be up on your own yet. ''

'' I was worried something had happened to you. As I found you gone I was sure…'' He trails off and avoids her eyes. Kat's heart cramps in her chest but she shakes it off. With a sigh she looks down at the items scattered all over the ground,

'' I left you a note, didn't you see that? It was a damn miracle you were still alive after your stupid fuckin'- '' Before she can give herself the chance to yell at him like she really wants to right now, she titles her head down. With closed eyes she takes a deep breathe, reminding herself about the skills-training that gives her small other tasks to focus on something else than chew that bloody thick-head off. As she opens her eyes, Kat notices the groceries scattered all over the ground.

'' Damn I hope nothing broke. '' Erik scans the things on the ground carefully until his eyes stop at one of the things. Suddenly he arches an eyebrow at her,

'' You bought books that teach you to cook? '' Kat's eyes widen the same second her cheeks start to burn. Kat drops to her knees to quickly stuff the damn books back into the paper-bag.

Bloody noisy bastard can't mind his own shit one goddamn time. Too dumb to spot a fuckin' paper but a bloody Detective for stupid books!

'' Screw you, that's the only way for me to find out how to do something with that shit okay! Do I look like a cook or a bloody coach for healthy eating?! 's the only option for really healthy stuff! Stuff at the shop's full with bad shit- Look, I don't care if you eat it! Take it or leave it, I don't bloody care! I just thought it might be nice okay? Was a stupid idea, got it, I won't try. Probably only gonna end up poisoning you anyway instead of- '' Erik suddenly kneeling down in front of her and taking her stupid shaking hands into his to stop her messy packing abruptly causes her to shut up. Kat grits her teeth, her entire body tensing in shame about her pre-teen behavior in front of the guy that still is in huge need of a kick between the legs for treating her like shit. But who would have known, her body is acting against her. The silly attempt to hide her face by starring at the ground once more reminds her of a pre-teen, just that there's the touch of Romantic Comedy movie now put into the pot.

'' I'd be honored to have you do this for me- ''

'' Not. Doing this. For you. '' She presses out through her still clenched jaw. The most obvious and unnecessary lie in her entire life but with everything as it is now Kat feels like she can't give him that pleasure after her embarrassing rant from before.

'' Of course, forgive me. Nevertheless I think that it is a wonderful idea to learn how to prepare a healthy meal. The stress your body encounters in these fights is immense and while I realize that I have no saying in the way you live your life, it is a huge relief to know you support your body this way. Should you grant me the honor of eating something you made, I am sure I will love it. '' Erik's voice is low, almost a hum to calm her raging mind.

Fucking sweet-talking jackass...

'' Just go back to bed… And we're never again talkin' about the fact that I learn how to cook for you bloody cheesy chav, got it? '' Pulling her hands back she turns her head back up to glare at him the most threatening she can with her red face,

'' Of course my love. '' He offers her a charming smile but it's not the same as usual. Erik's so fragile right now, his fever is down but not yet gone and his body still needs to recover from that. It's only normal that he's weakened but that doesn't change Kat being bothered by that. She just doesn't like it. He was emotionally fragile before -at least in front of her- but his body was always strong. And now it isn't. It makes him weak, vulnerable to anyone trying to harm him. The Inspector is still alive and probably not yet done with them and the Captain was looking at Erik like he's not done with Erik either. Surely there are more people Erik pissed off over the time that are just waiting to have a chance. Then again, none of these guys would ever come here. Still. It bothers her because Kat can't imagine to have her body in that state. Erik and she both are people that have very little control of their mind but because they have a good physical strength they don't feel vulnerable all the time. To have that taken away from him must leave him afraid, it would make Kat afraid.

Kat only notices that she was starring at Erik a little longer than intended as he suddenly cups her cheek and his thump gently begins to caress her cheek. Out of some reason she feels panic as he leans in to kiss her. Before he can move too close, she leans back and takes the groceries to quickly leave into the kitchen. She puts everything onto the counter and takes the whiskey out of her fridge to pour herself a glass. There's a confusing mix of panic and anger burning in her veins. What was he even thinking? He can't leave like that, then threaten her family because she doesn't take him back instantly and almost kill himself after she throws him out! And then try to get back into that shit as soon as he's walking!

She pours another glass after finishing the first in one go and shakes her head before sorting in the stuff she got quickly. The books she puts down on the counter against the box for her tea. Looks actually pretty neat.

Kat flinches as she feels Erik stopping right behind her, close enough to feel his chest against her back. It's one of these moments she wants to be just a little less proud and have him fuck her on the counter. She is mad that he just tried to kiss her after everything he's done to her by now. And she's afraid because she doesn't want this shit to happen again. She wants to kiss him and she wants to go back to how things were but she knows that Erik will do all of that psychotic bullshit again the moment he thinks he has a bloody reason to do so.

'' Kathrine- '' His hands softly grasp her shoulders but Kat pulls away,

'' No! Just go back to bed and give me fuckin' some space. '' She expects him to try again or to lose his temper or to do anything but just listen to what she says. So it comes as a nice surprise as he actually takes a step back. She feels colder suddenly, now that he's not there anymore. But she rather keeps a wall between them than giving him the impression that his behavior is the right way to get what he wants. She'll talk to him about it too- just not now.

'' Of course. Whatever you want, Kathrine. '' The moment he left the kitchen she allows her body to drop forwards until her arms are crossed on the counter and her face is hiding in the fabric of her coat. She stays in that position for a long time, her teeth grit and her eyes shut close. She should have gotten him into a hospital, better one with a psyche-ward. He's a complete nutter that risks dying just to not lose the object of his desire. For all she knows it, he's probably not even in love with her. He's obsessed with her because she was the first person to show any interest in him. And even if he's actually in love with her, he can't handle it. He's not used to relationships, whether romantic or friendly ones. He's been isolating himself for so long that he never got to learn that stuff. And trying to help him by forgiving him time and time again is nothing more but another form of self-harm.

She's been through all kinds of self-harm. She was cutting open her arms once but only because loosing a lot of blood made her feel like she's high. She punches walls if she's getting too mad. She bites her lips or showers too hot too but that's just small stuff. The real self-harm she's doing is her fighting, her substance abuse.. and Erik. Erik's like every other substance: They make her feel good for a while but they all fuck her up at some point.

Maybe I'm more of a masochist than I thought…

A bitter smile comes to her lips as she runs her fingers through her hair. She's not sending him away but they can't go on like that either. Doctor Bloomfield might be able to help Erik but how will she speak to him about that?

'' Straight out 's probably the best. '' With a nod to herself she drinks what is left in her glass and walks into the bedroom. Erik is actually sitting on the bed but he's not entirely alone. There's a shoe carton in front of him that he's curiously eyeing. Kat freezes to a statue. Part of her really wants to stop him but as she feels ready to move, Erik already put the lid aside and picks the first object up. Kat puts her hand over her mouth, her eyes growing wide but her mouth turning into a small, amused grin. He might not realize what most of this stuff is but one or two are pretty detailed. She should have seen it coming that Erik starts looking around as soon as he's able to walk.

Gosh that man's like a toddler…

'' Curious...'' He mutters after he spotted the switch and started the thing. She bites her lip, that picture will never ever leave her mind and as much as she tries to, she can't stop herself from taking a picture of Erik holding that vibrator and looking at it like it's some form of highly interesting physics object. He puts it aside and grabs for something else as he notices her,

'' What are these Kath- '' He soon looks back down but stops dead in his tracks because this time he grabbed one of her very lifelike little helpers. Granted, it's deep purple. But in the end it still looks like a big cock. Erik's probably never looked more helpless and Kat takes another picture before quickly stuffing her phone into her pocket. Her arm's just moving on its own, really. Erik on the other hand isn't moving for a long time. Like he's hoping she might just go away if he keeps very still. Kat tries to stop herself, she really does, but she just can't stop the loud laughter much longer. Her whole stomach starts cramping from the uncontrolled laughter going on and on seemingly without an end. Erik is still holding the dildo like he's just so embarrassed that he can't let go. By now he's blushing as deep as she was earlier and it's just adorable. Deciding to get him out of his misery, Kat walks over to him and takes the dildo from his hand before dropping it back in the box,

'' I'd say- haha- that we're even now. See, that's what you get for snooping. '' She slaps his shoulder playfully but Erik's still not looking at her.

'' Oh come on! It's not that bad. You have one too y'know? '' His blush deepens,

'' Why. Kathrine. Why do you have… that. ''

'' You'd be more red if you knew what you held before. '' His eyes widen.

''...Why… what was it…''

'' You really wanna know? ''

'' Part of me clearly thinks it is a bad idea… but yes. ''

'' Oki doki. Some of these are vibrating, called vibrators. Others aren't, called dildos. The thing you held before comes into your arse, the thing you held after comes in your- well my vagina. So to make it short, I use those to pleasure myself. '' Suddenly blood shoots out of Erik's nose and Kat looks at it like it's some form of miracle,

'' Oh my gosh I didn't know that can actually happen outside of an Anime. '' While Erik covers his nose with his hand, Kat grabs one of the tissues in her night table. Erik is not looking at her as she takes his hand away to wipe away the blood with the tissue.

'' You wanted to know. '' She informs him as she notices him looking anywhere but at her,

'' I wish I would learn to say no to you in situations like these. '' He mutters, still embarrassed.

'' As if you haven't been in there before too. Well, at least in one of them. '' Erik closes his eyes,

'' You have a purple reproduction of a male sex organ in a carton under your bed. ''

'' Yeah it's not easy to find those in black. ''

'' That is not the point! '' He suddenly screeches and Kat jumps. After starring at him with wide eyes, she once more starts to laugh.

'' What do you want me to say about it Erik? You were the one looking through my shit. Not my fault you have zero knowledge about all this. ''

'' I was not expecting to find tools you use for- '' He stops himself, not ready to say it.

'' Having an orgasm? Well I don't always have someone around when I'm in the mood and the only time I almost would have, he happened to run off. ''

'' Kathrine- ''

'' Leave it. ''

'' But I really want to- ''

'' And I said leave it. I'm serious Erik, I don't wanna hear it. We had something pretty damn nice but you ruined it the same way you ruined it before- and before. And I am honestly sick of hearing you apologize for something you only end up doing again. We can try to get along but I don't want another apology. If you really want to work this out, don't ever try to apologize again before you are a 100% certain you will never do it again. ''