"And does it get on your nerves,
Make you slightly perturbed,
That there's things that you don't know about her?
And even the places that she's never been with yer,
seem awful empty without her."— Arctic Monkeys, What If You Were Right The First Time?
Gray took his fingertips to his lips.
He sighed again, and opened his eyes.
The memory of the kiss with Juvia was not far from his mind, even though he tried. Although she hadn't reciprocated the kiss, and even when he received the beating of this life, the ice mage had enjoyed that night. He couldn't lie about it. Gray was a fool, but he wasn't that stupid. He knew he had feelings for Juvia, but it was too soon for him to return those feelings. He was a bad boy, c'mon! He was the guy who was cold and insensitive with others. During his time in Fairy Tail none of the girls had caught his attention the romantic way.
Sure, he had other girls at his feet.
But Juvia was not like those girls.
The feelings suck. Because she probably expected a declaration of love. He just wanted Juvia to be... Juvia. Not a girl obsessed with her crush. He wanted to go out on dates with her, without the water mage taking her imagination to extremes. But it seemed that with each step he took, she walked away. In addition, he didn't like this new version of Juvia —where she didn't act as a fangirl—. And Juvia didn't realize, but other men had their eyes on her like a piece of meat. The mage only wanted to kill them.
Right, because she was his.
He would never admit that on public, but for Gray Fullbuster, Juvia Lockser couldn't belong to anyone else. She was part of him. And honestly, the mage was beginning to wonder if he could live without her.
All those days were pure hell.
If she was not on a mission, was in the guild doing different things. There wasn't stalker moments, or meals with Gray. She just sat in her usual place, spoke to Levy about girl stuff and then she would leave. In some of those times, Gray could see that she was watching him. When Gray returned her gaze, she looked down, apologized to their mates, and left the guild in a hurry.
Girls.
Gray never would understand them.
He let out a yawn, and he got up from his bed. It was another good day. Gray decided to take a break from the missions. With the success of Fairy Tail in the Grand Magic Games, everyone was taking missions like crazy. Most of the guild members were out, and so the guild was mostly alone on the mornings. He could go without worrying about the creepy looks of Gajeel.
Putting on the first thing that was on the ground, he left his house.
Erza glared at him.
The boy swallowed hard, trying to dodge the woman. He had avoided her all this time, for somewhat obvious reasons. The last thing he wanted was being punched by Erza for being so stupid with Juvia. Gray sighed, feeling the woman's hand pulling him by the force, to take him to the second floor of the guild, where they would have more privacy. The ice mage first observed Erza, then the second floor, and finally back to Erza.
"I know, I know, I'm an idiot." Gray shook his hand, placing it on his face. He cursed in protest, and leaned against the bulletin board.
"Is not like that, Gray." The Titania spoke, her tone more serious. "She... is losing interest. She's changing." the mage said, crossing her arms.
There was silence for a few seconds.
"I know." Gray murmured, turning his face to avoid eye contact with the scarlet mage.
"You don't understand, Gray. It's not just her attitude. She talked to Lucy about leaving the guild." Erza was careful with her words, but equally Gray's body froze.
Juvia...was leaving Fairy Tail? That was impossible. She loved the guild, it was her family. Furthermore Gajeel couldn't leave, right? They were close friends, and he loved Levy. Juvia couldn't leave.
Shit, shit, shit.
Erza, getting no response, continued.
"I don't understand why you did it, but..." The redhead moved a little, and her face was serious, like never before. "You must apologize and make things clear."
Another silence.
Gray could feel his heart beat slowly.
"No." He then spoke, and looked up. "You don't understand, Erza." She was about to answer, but Gray interrupted. "I was about to lose her because of her obsessive personality. She never listens. You know that. Ultear, Ur... Juvia is equal to them. They would give their lives for me." He paused, and his jaw tightened. "What would have happened if I had not taken her off the way? Or if she was the one saving of me?"Gray, on impulse, hit the wooden surface of the board. "It hurts, Erza. Knowing that she would do anything for me, no matter what. And I'm a jerk. I can't express how I feel for fear."
"Gray..." Erza whispered, trying to reassure him.
"I have been dreaming with that day. I try to keep her away. But with every step I take, I realize how much I miss her. "The boy said with sincerity.
There was a long silence, and then he felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"There's no reason to keep people away from you. Don't you think that after all that has happened, you deserve happiness?" Erza smiled and looked down. "She's Juvia. Maybe this new version is weird, but you did it bring happiness to her before, right? She wouldn't stop loving you, Gray. I've seen people fight for love, and Juvia is definitely one of them. It may be a bit crazy, but she would never do anything to hurt you. "
The ice mage smiled a little.
Erza continued.
"You did a lot of things you shouldn't. Don't you ever do something stupid like that, Gray. Or I'll kill you." The woman waved her hand, and said briefly:" Try to fix it. She knows you, knows you do not act like that."
And she went down the stairs, with a smile on his face. Someone had been watching from behind a column.
He was sure of two things.
Mira had put something in his drink, that was the first thing. And the second thing... Juvia Lockser wasn't at his side, moving the chair closer to him and stamping her bag with books on an empty spot. That drink that the mage had given to him in the morning had a funny taste. Gray didn't know if it had drugs, or if Mira was losing her touch. It was probably both. Because, no way in hell, the girl who had nearly killed him days ago, could be reading next to with him. He rubbed his eyes, first watching Juvia —who had a raised eyebrow at him— and then returning his gaze to his drink. He accidentally spilled some liquid on the table at such an intrusion of personal space, and now his pants were wet.
Great.
He cleared his throat, and pretended that he wasn't taken by surprise.
"Oi, what are you doing here" he asked, and his eyes tried to find a water source. Was he going to die? He couldn't die, he was too young. He wasn't even done with many things in his life. What about Lyon? Who would feed the cat from the alley near his home?
"I'm reading, Gray. I didn't know that stupidity was infinite. You should return to your room to play with clay, or eat it, what kills you first." She answered vaguely turning the pages of her books and marking pages that had something interesting.
Gray gulped.
He was going to die.
"There aren't other places available. It was sit with you or with the new guy who smells hair. I guess it would have been better with the new guy... "Juvia sighed and threw her head back, still seeing him.
"Thank you, that was very... informative." The raven haired rolled his eyes and bowed his head. He began playing with a lock of hair that fell gracefully over his eyes, and with the corner of his eye, he noticed Juvia's neck. There was no trace of the love mark he had seen during the festival. He smiled to himself, and continued to watch her. She wore his reading glasses, which were thick and black. She also had her hair down. Gray loved when her hair was loose. In missions and at her time of Phantom Lord, she used to use rare forms. The mage thought about touching it. It must be very smooth. Juvia was a girl and girls used a lot of hair products, right? He thought about it smell. Maybe he could smell it if they were very close, perhaps reading something by her, or as they kissed...
Gray groaned in protest.
He tried to return to his drink, trying to not pay attention to the girl, but when she leaned to her side, to find a book from his bag, the mage could swear that her skirt had risen more than necessary. He was flooded by the feeling of wanting to open the palm of his hand to cover the newly exposed skin area, but he held back the feeling. She turned again, and for the love of Mavis. Her lips were parted, and Gray first noticed how small they were, and the nice pink they had. The glasses went down the bridge of her nose, and she ran his index finger to put them gently into place.
Didn't she know the effect she had on him?
Gray could lift her little body and bring her into a closet, and bite her lip to not make any noise because they were in the guild after all.
What?
He had thought about having sex with her. She was an attractive girl and he was a healthy boy with needs, and good, his dreams insisted in telling him that having sex with Juvia was the best thing in the universe. He thought about what would happen if something like the festival happened again, obviously with her being empathetic to his feelings. But she hadn't feelings for him. And he didn't love her, right? He thought about what Erza had told him earlier. Make things clear? Yes, he wanted Juvia, as a friend. They were nakamas, they cared for each other.
However, it was different.
He sighed, and when he returned her gaze to her, she was watching him somewhat strange.
Had he been seeing her all that time? He coughed a little, and jumped a little, nearly causing him to fall off the chair where he was.
"What?" she asked, tilting her face.
"Nothing, I'm allergic to hormones." He apologized and wanted to hit himself for that stupid answer.
"What hormones?" Asked the girl, stretching her arms in the air.
"Mine." Gray said, returning his gaze to his drink unfinished. He heard something like a «whatever, Levy-chan is waiting for me» and he observed bite her lip, closing the book and putting off her glasses. The bluenette cursed under her breath, and dragging the chair, stood up.
She left without saying goodbye.
Once she disappeared through the door of the guild, Gray released the air from his lungs, and looked down at his pants where a discomfort persisted. He groaned aloud, and let her head slammed into the table.
Juvia Lockser would be the death itself.
"I just ran into your girl." The voice of his friend made to return his attention to the people in the guild.
They were having a party... again. Gray had left the main hall, looking for a drink for him and Loke. They were in the kitchen, and his best friend had just arrived for personal reasons —he, apparently had a date— and just when he met Gray, the two went to pour a couple of drinks.
"Juvia?" He asked, leaning his back against the wall, framing an eyebrow.
"Gray, did something happen than I should know about?" Loke asked himself pouring himself some food.
Then Gray told him everything.
Just from the Grand Magic Games until the day of the festival. He omitted important details —like his dreams of her and how much he missed—, but tried to be as accurate as possible. His friend listened intently, nodding from time to time and asking casual things. When the story ended, Gray took a big gulp of his drink, and let out a big sigh, with a bit of nervousness.
"I think you should do something. Take her against a wall and kiss her again." His friend also took a sip of his drink. "There is the possibility that she return the kiss. But if not, at least you tried. Otherwise, you will lose her. "Loke smiled broadly.
Everything seemed to "click" inside the head of Gray.
He was in love with Juvia.
Because even if she was crazy, that would make him smile. He was more than willing to spend a lifetime in hell if he was allowed to have her in his arms, feeling her warmth against his body, knowing that in one way or another was connected with her. All relationships begin like that, right? Being strangers. Becoming friends. And then, lovers.
Gray closed his eyes, and crushed the glass on the table.
And he smiled, because the answer he was looking was in front of him all the time.
"Where did she go?" He asked, holding her friend by the shoulders.
"Fairy Hills, probably walking." Loke grinned, and watched the clock on your wrist. "Go ahead, I have a date anyways".
Gray laughed, pushing his way through their guild mates.
Spanish is my native language, sorry for the mistakes. Please be kind and point them out for me, please!
I'm so sorry x_x I'm having too much work, I can barely write a draft in my luch time! Anyways, this is a very rushed update! I don't know. I was expecting Gruvia moments in this arc, but it seems that only Team Natsu has the spotlight. -sigh- anyways, Mashima... I seriously don't like Lucy's boobs, please stop.
The next chapter's name is "A Kiss Before Dying" so... tell me what you expect!
Thank you so much for the reviews, you really keep me happy!
Thanks for reading!
~ casinocalavera, 13/07/13.