Author's Notes: In the flashback where we see Mao and C.C. entwined, his pants already look far too short for him, unless they were shorts, at which point they look too long. If your homeless like Mao and C.C. were, I don't expect they'd have many opportunities to get new clothes, although I suppose he or she could steal them, but desperation would dominate. But now Mao is in ways developing his own style and transitioning from one period of his story to another (Also, those are the only two outfits we see Mao wearing, so I felt like I kinda had to go with them).

Recommended Music: "The Specter of Separation" by Toshihiko Sahashi from the Mobile Suit: Gundam Seed Soundtrack Vol. 4, followed by "Moderato" by S.E.N.S. Project from the xxxHolic Soundtrack, followed by "The First Signature" by Nakagawa Koutarou from the Code Geass: Lelouch of the Rebellion Soundtrack.

Breaking Mao

The wind blew softly today, the sky helping a few clouds make their way slowly across the world. Mao sat on the ground of a large empty park far below, his knees up to his chin, swaying back and forth slightly and feeling quite frustrated with himself. He held his face in his gloved hands, his headphones pouring out words of comfort from his beloved. But they were merely words falling on deaf ears for now.

For the young man had been wandering around for several days, desperately searching for C.C., opening his mind to the world, probing deep for images, memories, or thoughts of the emerald haired beauty. He had been through several streets, traveling increasingly eastward through the enormous city, but with limited success. And each time he did so, he felt like his head would burst. Living in the wild, blissful and quiet, for so long had caused him to forget just how painful his Geass could be.

He was discouraged, his initial exuberance from feeling like he was a knight getting to rescue his beloved ebbing away as he realized just how large and harsh the world truly was.

"Remember what I told you about snow, Mao?," the recorder played. "Remember, it's white because it's forgotten what color it is… Never forget what color you are, Mao. It's a beautiful color."

Mao slumped forward further. "C.C., it's just not the same…just not the same without you really here," he whined, exasperated. "I need to think…think of how I can find her."

Looking up, he surveyed his surroundings once more, trying to think. "In cities like this, it seems people go missing all the time…the ones who are asked to look for them are the police. Or, if they're soldiers, the military. What if I…use my Geass to learn some secret that the Federation would be willing to bargain for and force them to let me use their resources to look for her?" he mused, reasoning it out as best he could. "It could be a lot faster…but what if they do find her?"

Mao suddenly bolted upright, feeling worried. "But what if they hurt her or do something terrible to her?" he muttered nervously. "This country is filled with despicable people who do all kinds of terrible things to each other all the time. There's just no way I can take that kind of chance. I'm on my own."

"You can do it!"

Mao whirled his head around, hearing that sweet, nostalgic voice, as if expecting someone to be very close by, hoping to catch at least one glimpse of her. Her smile. Her eyes. Her face. But…he saw nothing. "Was it all just a fragment of my desires?" he breathed, eyeing the recorder suspiciously.

Falling to his side, he removed his coat and pulled it around him, curling up to use the taught leather to remind his body of what it felt like to be held. Closing his eyes, songs which C.C. used to sing to him during their time on the streets came to mind. Back then his fondest memories were of sleeping together in heaps of straw and old newspaper, clinging to each other for warmth, and playing with the stray animals. Exhausted and lonely, he indulged the memory.

I was so happy when you smiled
Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey
Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep
Awaiting the patience for the spring when the flowers will bloom anew again
Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today

All those scars of yesterday remain
But you can go on living as much as your heart believes
You can't be born again, although you can change
Let's stay together always

A tear spilled down his cheek as he drifted off to sleep. A few hours went by, but suddenly Mao's eyes fluttered open. He could hear…a voice!

Who is this guy? What is he doing here?

Realizing instantly what this meant, he braced himself just in time to receive a firm kick in the side.

"Hey! You can't sleep here," the officer warned, disgust clear in his voice. "This place closed hours ago."

Honestly, when are the bureaucrats gonna clean up the filth around here? Don't we pay enough taxes?

Mao sat up groggily, slipping his coat back on and rubbing his eyes, careful to conceal them beneath his hand whilst he removed the visor. "Alright, I get it," Mao replied, checking the buckles on his boots and standing upright. Without another word, he turned and left the officer, feeling his callous eyes boring into his back the whole way out.

Yeah, that's right, I'm watching you…

"Maybe I can come back later when it reopens to think some more," Mao muttered to himself. At least it was a long walk, allowing him to enjoy the silence for a bit longer, except the suspicious thoughts of the lone officer carefully following him, of course.

Is he talking to himself? What a freak!

Mao scowled, but continued walking, turning up his player even louder. He soon realized he was hungry, however, and, making his way back onto the stark streets, knee-deep in windswept plastic and paper carnage, he searched for something to eat. He was to be frustrated, however, as he surveyed the stands, piled high with wretched toxic meat, rancid cheese and carcinogenic vegetables. Mao blanched, disgusted by the prospect of consuming something so…unnatural. After all, he had enjoyed hand-picked or homegrown fresh fruits and vegetables, hunted fish and scavenged nuts in the country for years. But to forage for something like that he would have to travel all the way back out of the city, wasting valuable time. "I'll just have to bear up under it," he muttered dryly. "I have to be strong for her." He came upon one claiming to sell apples and checked the price; it was paltry, so he bought three.

What an early customer! And I haven't even finished setting up shop yet… I hope it's a sign of a good day today.

Walking away, he sunk his teeth into the shiny fruit, drawing away large, chewy swathes. "This isn't bad," he muttered, its sweet juice running down his chin.

"Oh Mao, how silly of—"

Mao froze, so startled he dropped the apple he was eating, which fell to the ground smashed. "C.C., where did you go?" he asked, taking out his player frantically. He turned up the volume over and over again, pressing every button he could find on its surface. "What happened?" He found a groove along the back and slid it out, revealing a compartment containing two batteries. Mao's eyes went wide. "The batteries…they must have run out!"

Trying not to panic, he searched his surroundings for a store, any store, where he could replace them. His mind began to reel as he lost focus, however, the thoughts of those mulling about ringing in his mind. The world suddenly became very, very loud. After all, this was Beijing, boasting an overall population of at least twenty-two million, with around three thousand four hundred per square mile!

I hope it doesn't rain today

I don't want to go to work. That place sucks

What a dump

Damn, I wish they'd stop selling crap like this

I'm gonna kill her. Yeah, that's it, today's the day. She'll wish, she'll wish she never crossed me.

The news said Britannia was expanding in the Mideast, but they can't even control terrorism in Area 11, what the hell?

If I run like this everyday, I'm supposed to lose weight

Mao ran hard, finding a store up ahead. "There it is! I can make it!" he said through grit teeth.

Why is that guy running?

Is he late for an appointment, maybe?

Where are the police?

Coming to the door, Mao slammed into it, hoping it had a crash bar. It didn't, but he felt something break and the door swung open anyway.

What the hell man?

He threw his eyes up, searching the aisles. "Should be right over there!" he exclaimed, running over to a spinning shelf filled with several kinds of electric batteries.

What is wrong with him?

These prices are too expensive, I make little enough as it is

Should I get the red or the blue?

Oh, she'll love this!

I'm hungry, mom

God, this girl never shuts up…

Why is the line so long, dammit?

Mao clamped his hands around his head, pulling his hair so hard he thought it might rip out. Sweat poured down his face and his breathing became laboured.

He doesn't look good

Maybe something's wrong with him

Should somebody help him?

"BE QUIET!" Mao screamed, drawing everyone's attention. He reached out his hand for the batteries but faltered and instead knocked down the entire shelf, sending packages of batteries sprawling everywhere.

What an idiot! Today of all days…I have to clean this shit up you know!

"Hey, what's wrong with you, huh?" a man shouted angrily.

Oh my…

Mao collapsed to the floor, unable to bear up under the strain any longer. A thin trail of blood trickled from his head as it cracked against the cold tile. His lean chest heaved as his heart raced and sounds began to muffle in his ears.

Oh my god!

Something's wrong with him!

He could pick out dim shapes rushing toward him, shaking him roughly. He could feel the batteries against the tips of his fingers, but just couldn't find the strength.

Sir, are you alright?

"Sir, are you alright?" somebody asked.

Somebody call the medics!

"Somebody call the medics!" a woman shouted out frantically.

Darkness overtook his eyes amidst the blasting echoes of so many thoughts and he felt like he was dying.

Endsong: "Drenched In Fear" by In Flames