Feather Flight: "Watch My Shattered World Fall to Shards"(part 4)
An AU Kuja fic, shonen-ai, language
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Laro was back on his feet by morning, looking tired but active once again. The mage felt faintly happy that the man had come down to watch him go through the repetitive exercises, but couldn't help worrying a little at his faded appearance. When the nurses were satisfied he had done enough for the morning they once more issued him his stick, warned him to over exert himself and gave him a gentle shove towards the door. The dark man was leaning against the frame with a cheery grin.
"If you recover any faster... they'll start to spread rumors about you, you know..."
"Will they now?" Kuja smirked. "And what will they say I wonder... am I Blessed? or Accursed..." His joke earned him an alarmingly serious look.
"Accursed? Why? What have you heard?"
The silver-haired man paused and blinked in surprise. "Heard? Nothing! Why are you so upset? It's only an expression..."
"Right, right... never mind." The man smiled, visibly relieved. The mage stared at him in confusion.
"Should I have heard something...?"
"No. But the world is populated by any number of fools." Laro smiled apologetically. "This is a small town... and some of the folks are a little isolated... scared of things they don't understand... It shouldn't be a problem, but better to be cautious..."
The silver-haired man watched him a moment, his expression unreadable. "Do you intend to protect me?"
"If I must."
"The word of a simple soldier carries that much weight among the local people...?" Laro kicked himself at the innocence of the question. His own somewhat abbreviated version of his life story was coming back to haunt him sooner than expected.
"It is generally known that I am concerned about your well-being... "
Blue eyes narrowed in amusement. "You're nothing but a bully then..." The soldier laughed feeling a little foolish.
"Yes, maybe so... Would you like to go for a walk? Or a 'Limp', as the case may be?" The smaller man accepted the change in conversation with a shrug and followed him down to the shoreline.
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The day was spent very quietly. Kuja allowed himself to feel a peace for the first time he could remember. For a little while he pondered his guardian's warning. Certainly he was familiar with pretending to be human, but it had always been for the sake of pride, not self-preservation. The old Terrans had once been human after all. He had always associated 'humanity' with something special, superior even. The fact that he had been a genome was a constant obstacle to him. Gaia had proved him wrong in every way possible. Defeated by a valiant mouse-woman, a child-summoner, and one of his very own dolls, he was forced to acknowledge his vanity had caused him no end of trouble. Here however, there were no mixed races. His brief sojourns into the village and gentle questions revealed no hint that there had ever been anything like him in his new home. There were /people/ and then there were /others/. He had heard the fearful murmurs amidst the hospital gossip. It seemed they were a race of giant insects, menacing, massive and apparently driven by a need for conquest. From the sound of it, it would be very difficult to make a mistake between the two.
// Mice, moles, badgers, bears, various goblins, birds… but bugs? No I've never seen a sentient bug… Mist monsters… but they were never prone to starting a conversation… I wonder why there were no insectile people… //
The question was fruitless, serving only to remind him of his singular situation. People feared what they didn't understand. Kuja knew this. In his past schemes he had even counted on it occasionally. Half of the success of his black-mage army had been the simple fact that no one had ever seen anything like it. In their moment of frozen indecision, he had used Queen Brahne to sweep a continent.
// Considering how edgy these people are about /anything/ alien… justifiable it seems given their current woes… I'm lucky they didn't just toss me back into the ocean when they saw what I was… or rather what I wasn't… but still why should Laro worry? Surely if someone was offended by my appearance, they'd have taken action while I slept? Why wait until now? //
The idea would require more thought. For the moment he could do nothing but focus on his recovery and try not to react when the children stopped and stared at him. The cat-man sighed and looked out over the waves. As unsatisfying as it had proved to pretend to be 'above' other people when he knew he wasn't, it wasn't any happier a feeling to be a side-show display every time he left his room. Maybe he would finally work up the nerve to cut his tail off for once and for all. He shuddered at the thought.
Kuja and the soldier moved slowly down the smooth stretch of golden sand, reaching a convenient tumble of boulders and settling on the sun-warmed stone. The heat was soothing to his sore muscles. Everything was calm and ordinary and unremarkable. He couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day. Later he couldn't exactly recall what they spoke of. It hadn't been important, just idle conversation to pass the time. For a while he put aside all his worries about past and future and enjoyed the moment. It wasn't until after sunset that he was forcefully reminded that this was not Gaia. The revelation came from an unexpected and disturbing source.
The evening was for once clear and cloudless. The mellow moonlight spilled over into the courtyard. The mage hadn't given it much thought, tired as he was from the day's exertions, but passing one of the interior doorways into the greenery he caught a glimpse of Laro. The tall man was stargazing, staring up over the enclosing rooftops to watch the night sky, his dark coloring only made more pronounced by the long shadows. Kuja hesitated a moment, then moved to join the man. Uncertain if he'd recognize /anything/ the night sky here had to offer.
The stars were indeed a confusing jumble, their patterns and arcs unfamiliar for all his studies. But that wasn't what filled him with an inexplicable sense of dread. Rather, along with the unfamiliar beauty of the constellations and moon, there was something amiss, something both coldly sterile and horribly wrong. The mage stared a moment in silence before finding the words to ask.
"...Laro... ?"
"I know... sickening isn't it...?"
"...What /is/ that..."
Dark eyes looked down at him sadly. "/That/...is The Net." Kuja blinked in incomprehension and stared upwards again. Standing as a semi-visible barrier between the ground and the stars, thin gold-spangled fibers seemed to stretch across the night sky. Horizontal rows were crossed with vertical columns to form what could be very accurately called a 'net', a massive mesh of interlocking triangles picked out in gold thread. A web large enough to wrap the entire planet.
"It wasn't always like this you know... I can remember, as a child... I can remember what it was like before they hung The Net..."
"...They...?"
"The Selwe. The invaders... The Net is part of their plan to conquer this world." The serious tone was lightened somewhat as Laro sensed his friend's concern. "Try not to let it worry you... It's not your fight... and they haven't won yet." He gave in to the temptation to give the nearest shoulder a comforting squeeze.
"How? What does it /do/?" The smaller man's expression was thoughtful.
"... That's... "
The soldier thought for a moment and then shrugged. "Do you believe in magic, Masa?" He paused as the pale man stared at him in surprise. "Not just tricks and games... but /real/ magic... the power to change the world... to manipulate matter..."
Kuja fought the urge to laugh in disbelief. He had left that part of his past untouched, certain he wouldn't be believed. "What, like mages? Yes... I think it's safe to say that I believe in magic... why?"
"This world... we had magic once... 'Mages', like you say... then The Net was built. They say that in less than a year afterwards, there weren't any mages anymore."
The cat-man's tail fluffed in alarm, "They died...?"
"No..." Laro frowned, trying to remember. "Well some of them did... But the rest... It was as if they never had been mages... there was no magic left... not for anything. It really was a blow. Before The Net, the fight was pretty fair, maybe even in our favor, magic verses technology... they may have been more advanced, but we weren't suffering any... They figured out a way to remove that advantage."
Kuja caught his twitching tail and tried to smooth the hairs down, giving his hands something to do while his mind digested the new facts. "...Your powers are sealed by The Net, so you can't fight back...? But how is it sustained? Surely not from Space?" His companion shifted nervously, his face obscured in the half-light. Kuja was again reminded that he wasn't the only one with secrets. Laro's life before arriving at the hospital sounded as carefully worded as his own had. The man's past was remarkably obscure.
// He really doesn't like talking about this... does he. What happened, Laro? You know more then you want me to believe. Do you think your war will upset me? I've known war all my life, it could be said that it is 'peace' that I'm afraid of... //
"No... Not from Space... They have Towers, tall monolithic things... thousands of them... scattered all over the planet. We think that if the Towers were ever to fall... then so too would The Net. But that's impossible."
"The Towers are indestructible then?"
The soldier stared at him thoughtfully. "I didn't say that... No, they can be damaged... decommissioned. But it isn't easy... and it isn't fast. No one has ever been able to take down more than five at the same time... and he wasn't able to hold on to his victory... five Towers... it wasn't even enough to put a dent in The Net... weakened it maybe, in a small area… but not broken by any stretch. Maybe if it had been fifty, or five hundred... then it might have been crippling. A /real/ victory..." Laro smiled grimly. "It took three months of constant fighting to gain those Towers. The Selwe reclaimed them in twelve days. They were reactivated in less than a month."
// Fascinating... //
"But... surely they have some weakness..." The mage watched in concern as the taller man shrugged in defeat.
"Maybe so... I don't know." A large hand absently ruffled through Kuja hair. "Like I said. Don't worry about it, it doesn't concern you. You're safe." The dark man made a show of stretching his arms. "And now, I think I'm tired... sleep well, little cat."
"...'little /what/'...?" His protest went unheard as the man limped slowly away, leaving him in the quiet garden. He stared at the retreating form and then up once again, the golden threads glittered ominously in the night sky.
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Kuja sat gracelessly on the edge of his narrow bed and kicked off his sandals before falling backwards into the blankets with a sigh. The late afternoon heat was almost oppressive as he relaxed, letting the scarce breeze tickle his face. Propped carelessly in the corner, his walking stick was already accruing a thin layer of dust.
// And you can /stay there/ too... I don't need you. //
The silver-haired man rolled over to glare at the inoffensive wood. It had taken weeks of grumbling effort, but he now felt confident enough to even go down to the beach and back without the humble support. He had been growing progressively stronger since the day he awoke, his body recovering what it had lost. Despite his continued inability to summon the smallest magics, Kuja felt certain that he would soon be at full health. Instead of cheering him however, the idea only provoked a sense of worry.
// Laro... He's not getting better. I... I don't think he /can/... //
The always friendly man seemed to occupy his thoughts more and more over the recent weeks. Kuja had been stubbornly opposed at first to allowing himself to feel anything more than the most distant gratitude towards the ex-soldier, but that resolve had quickly slipped. Laro's unshakable trust and gentle humor had found the weaknesses in his defenses. He idly wondered at what point everything had changed. When had he stopped resisting? It seemed strange that he couldn't pinpoint just when the decision had been made. He wasn't a creature prone to falling victim to wasted emotion but suddenly he found them sneaking up on him. Frowning, he forced them to the surface and ruthlessly inspected them. The day progressed without him, his enhanced hearing picking up hints of a hummed melody from down the hall.
// When was it that you became more than just a convenience...? Today I watched you limping beside me, and I... It made me angry to see... It's not fair that someone like /me/ should recover while you patiently suffer. That's not how the story is supposed to go. Everyone knows that the 'hero' always overcomes… and he's proven to be more than worthy of the title. He rescued /me/ after all… A wasted effort perhaps, but still… It's not fair at all... //
The light breeze soothed his worries, and too tired to stay awake, he dozed through the long afternoon. When he awoke for dinner, his friend was strangely absent.
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There was a hushed and anxious feel to the small dinner hall as Kuja made his way to his usual seat. The chair across from his was empty. He cast a curious glance over to the fidgeting doctor. The older man simply flicked his finger upwards expressively.
// He's still resting...? But he was /fine/ this afternoon... A little slower than usual… and quiet... and... /Damn him/ if he was hurting why didn't he /say/ something... we didn't have to walk today! //
The cat-man glared at his stew in frustration. He briefly considered ignoring the rest of the bowl in favor of going upstairs to tell the stubborn soldier off, but hesitated when a nurse slipped into the room and whispered in the doctor's ear. The small man frowned briefly before following the woman out of the room.
// What's going on? //
Curious, the mage quickly finished his meal and returned the dishes to the kitchen. Natural caution made him silent as he made his way upstairs, and he soon found himself hesitantly standing outside the other occupied room in his corridor. Holding his breath he listened to the murmured conversation on the other side of the door.
"Were there any signs this afternoon?"
"No, sir. I commented that he looked tired after his walk, and he agreed to rest until evening... but there was no evidence that he would slip like this..."
"Wait, he /agreed/ to rest? No arguing? No protest? Didn't you find that strange?"
"I... oh dear..." The prim voice trailed off in realization. "You're right... he /always/ grumbles... but he didn't today. I just assumed it was because he was genuinely tired... You know how he pushes himself..."
The doctor sighed, "Yes... and now he's pushed himself right into a relapse... where's Kuja?"
The mage pulled away from the door, alarmed at the sound of his name.
"He's still at dinner last I checked."
He let out a silent breath of relief, and leaned against the door once more.
"Good." Dr. Ing sounded relieved. "Try to keep him occupied tonight, there's no need to worry him about things he can't understand..."
// 'Understand'...? What's so difficult to understand here old man?! The only friend I have in this freakish place is sick, and you want me to stay away? Like Hell... I'm not a child. //
He was about to turn and enter the room, when the seemingly solid surface behind him suddenly gave way. Kuja fell backwards with a yelp and hit the floor in an untidy sprawl. The doctor, hand still on the door knob, stared at the new arrival in mild surprise.
"Kuja."
"I'm staying." The silver-haired man refused to show any embarrassment as he painfully hauled himself upright and dusted himself off. He gave the doctor his best glare, refusing to be denied.
The small man smoothed his mustache and glanced over to the bed nervously. The room was dimly lit but the cat-man could still make out a dark shape tangled in the sheets. He watched Laro's unconscious trembling, and bit his lip. "I'll stay out the way, but I'm not leaving..."
Deliberately claiming the chair beside the bed, the cat-man folded his legs underneath him and waited. The nurse moved to complain but was stopped by a touch on the arm. Dr. Ing sighed in worried amusement.
"Very well... There's no reason you can't help... Who knows... maybe it's for the best."
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Heat, unending heat scoured his body, waves of fire danced along abused nerves as he shuddered. Opening his eyes revealed only empty darkness, he tried to cry out, but there was no sound. Then, after a moment, there was. The rattling hiss was unmistakable, a nightmare given flesh. Unable to move, Laro could only wait silently in the darkness, listening to the slow approach of the hard insect-like creature. The beetle shaped Inquisitor always moved slowly, each leg clicking ominously down the cold echoing corridor.
// No no no no... not this... not again... it's not real... I escaped. Didn't I...? //
A fresh surge of pain caused his vision to go white, something at the base of his skull feeling as if it were being torn in two. He sobbed for air, feeling his body break into a cold sweat. The agony abated slightly leaving him disoriented. Opening his eyes, he found himself in the ocean. Blue-green water swirled around him, contrasting unpleasantly with the heat still attempting to burn him alive. Laro smiled for a moment as a fish flickered by, inches from his face. Dream like, realization was slow to dawn on him, but hazily, he forced his tired eyes upwards, and stared bemused at the water's surface. It was ten feet /above/ him. Air escaped his lungs in a startled burst of shimmering bubbles; his arms were slow to respond despite his urgent need to breathe. The dark man flailed for seemingly endless moments, his chest aching and empty of breath, but it was with a sickening sort of terror that he felt himself sinking lower. His vision started to darken as exhaustion sapped his strength. The water was growing darker, colder as he slipped further and further from the surface. Caught in some current he was swept deeper, no longer fighting, simply bemused that the icy water did nothing to chill the burning in his veins, and wondering how long it a human could suffer agony before the body simply gave out.
// It's so blue here... everything is blue... the water, my arms... the light... well, what's left of it anyway. So beautiful... I could almost forget the pain... //
"... laro..."
// That voice... //
Something cold and wet touched his forehead, it brought some relief from the burning heat, and for a moment he was confused.
// I'm underwater... how could something feel... wet...? // The ocean around him shuddered and dissolved, leaving him in a new stuffier darkness. The humid air caught unpleasantly in his tired lungs.
"... stop struggling... you're tying your blankets in knots..." The soothing voice returned, removing the cloth only to replace it with a new one.
// ... it... was... a dream...? Or is /this/ the dream... //
Slender fingers caressed his cheek, the touch hesitant yet communicating a silent message of worry, and tenderness. The roaring in his ears abated slowly, his eyes gradually focusing on the ceiling above. Its shadowy beams and white plaster seemed heavenly in their familiarity.
// Who...? //
"... You're awake...?"
Laro blinked as one of the shadows beside him drew closer, the faint moonlight caught in silvery hair and eyelashes. The childlike features were tight with worry as the man leaned closer, hands catching Laro's shaking fingers as they reached out.
"I'm here."
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// He's burning up... //
Kuja replaced the cold cloth again, and glanced at the nurse. The elderly woman was fast asleep in her chair by the door. The mage briefly considered waking her, alerting the doctor of the change, but trembling fingers clutched his and the decision was made. He settled himself on the edge of the bed, carefully pressing the hand between his own, offering what comfort he could. Outside, the Net twinkled against the starry sky.
"Shhhh... I'm here... It's alright."
"... masa...?" The voice was weak, a pitiful ghost of what he remembered.
// What can I do...? //
"... From you I'll accept that name..." Kuja kept his whisper light, letting the exhausted man know he truly didn't mind. "You've given us all a good scare, you know... They weren't so sure you were going to wake up, you've been raving for two days..."
Dark eyes bored into his silently as the larger man gathered his strength. "... I... it's not over yet..."
"...what?" The mage leaned closer in alarm, the frail whisper barely audible.
"I... don't think I can... I'm tired... so tired..." A fit of tremors shook the man so hard his teeth rattled. Kuja could do nothing but hold him down while the fit passed.
"You'll be fine..." He murmured.
"... no..." Laro fought his weakness to raise a hand and briefly touch a silky cheek. "... sorry..."
"What?" He no longer cared if he woke up the nurse or not.
// Don't talk nonsense... You're not going to die now... it'd be stupid for you to die now... Not when I still need you... //
"You have to stay... What will I do if you go and leave me... You're the only friend I've ever had." Spoken aloud, the words sounded hopelessly foolish.
// It's true Laro... I'm not ready to lose you... not now... not yet... You're /needed/... don't go. //
Kuja closed his eyes, he didn't believe in 'God' he had seen too much to cling to such foolish hopes. He told himself that wasn't praying. Even if he could, who was there to listen? Loneliness twisted in his stomach like acid.
"... you're so beautiful..." The broken whisper nearly undid him. Blinking away tears he stared in disbelief down at the exhausted man, uncertain of what he heard.
// You... //
"You're hallucinating, Laro."
Lips pulled into a small smile at the flat response. "... no... you are..." Tired eyes drifted closed.
// No damn it! Stay awake, what the Hell do you mean by that? //
// If he dies, I'll never find out... //
// Please don't die, Laro... //
Kuja didn't believe in gods. In his whole life there had been only one /thing/ he's ever encountered that might have qualified. It was irresistible to think of it now. Its pure white radiant light, the way each facet seemed to be its own color, some unknown hue that was both unique and rainbow in one. The Crystal had hung in solitary splendor, alone in the darkness of Space, but the feeling he remembered was not one of loneliness. To stand in the aura of the Crystal was to feel you were in the presence of life itself, a glorious triumphant sort of feeling that filled you up and washed your burdens away. The cat-man remembered being bathed the Crystal's joyful energy and feeling nothing but bleak rage. Having just learned of his mortality, and witnessed the destruction of his cherished ambition, he had blindly rejected the promise of peace and belonging. He had threatened to destroy it, the source of all-life.
// I was an imbecile. //
The Crystal was not without its own defenses however, and as Kuja had been bested once more by his brother he realized the magnitude of his error. The fall into the bowels of the Lifa Tree had been the longest moment in his life.
// Of course I /lost/... I was on the losing side... I had been all along. Zidane was the one, the one who chose the future, not me. He chose life... Maybe... maybe it's not too late for me too... not for myself, I don't matter... but please... /please/... if you can hear me... I'm /sorry/... I was wrong and I'm sorry... please don't let him die... he doesn't deserve this... he's my friend... //
He pressed thin hands to his face, willing the tears to stop. The itchy hot sensation only grew stronger but he ignored it, concentrating only on the intense light, and the memory of that untouchable joyful energy.
// Please... //
His fingertips began to tingle as well.
In his mind's eye the Crystal twinkled slowly, its bright rays flashing in a mesmerizing pattern. The level of the light grew brighter and brighter, and he reached for it, trying to claim some tiny portion, any piece, to aid him. In a flash of brilliance the image faded, leaving him panting in surprise and pain. Something warm and wet trickled over his lips, but he ignored it, staring at his hands in wonder.
He knew what he had to do.
It was simple in the end, almost frighteningly easy. Kuja touched the sleeping face on the pillow with shaking hands, hesitating a moment before steadying his grip. Fingertips pressed firmly to the fevered man's temples, he spoke a word, and felt the energies built up inside him flood out to obey. It felt as if he was falling all over again. He whimpered in distress, but refused to release the spell. Eventually the magic dried up, ebbing from him slowly and leaving only exhaustion in its wake. Kuja sagged against the prone body beneath him, utterly spent.
// But... Did it work? What I just did... Was it real? Or just a sleep-starved delusion... No. It had to be real, no delusion ever hurt like this. But did it /work/? //
He lay still a timeless moment, listening to the steady heartbeat under his ear, waiting. He was rewarded as the chest beneath him rose with a sudden shuddering breath. It was followed by another. The silver-haired man could feel the muscles under his hands slowly relax, releasing the fevered tension that had wracked them for countless hours. The fever was fading.
// It worked...? //
Just as he was mustering the strength to haul himself upright, to examine his handiwork, one of the previously shaky arms slowly flexed and moved. The motion was slow but perfectly steady as a large hand gently came up and curiously touched the back of Kuja's head. It then slid to his shoulder and was joined by it fellow, both gently forcing his weary body upright, off of the now awake patient. The mage was more than willing to lean into the supporting arms, and looked up to meet the dark eyes staring at him in confusion.
"... Masa...?" Laro fumbled for a moment, forcing clumsy limbs to both keep their grip on the sagging cat-man and also pull himself upright. He struggled to sit up, uncertain of what had occurred. The silver-haired man said nothing, simply staring in bemused exhaustion.
// It worked... I don't believe it... // Kuja felt himself being gently pulled further onto the bed into a less precarious grip. Uncaring of pride, he sagged against the larger shoulder, allowing the loose embrace. Fingers brushed his face touching the wetness under his nose hesitantly.
"Masa, you're bleeding...!" The hoarse whisper served to shake him from his reverie and Kuja daubed at his bloody face in faint surprise.
"... so I am... Must have burst a vessel... no harm done... I think." His voice sounded strange in his ears.
// Then again I could be hemorrhaging... but somehow, I just don't care... Laro's awake... he's healed... /I/ healed him... he's going to live, and he thinks I'm beautiful. The rest? It just doesn't matter. Fuck it. //
"I should get you the doctor..."
Kuja fought to keep his eyes open. "...no... I'd rather just stay like this... and sleep, definitely sleep..."
"Masa? What just..." The dark man blinked in surprise as his burden began to snore very quietly. "Kuja...?" He tried again, softly. The small body only pressed closer, breath puffing regularly against his neck. The soldier remained still for a moment, uncertain of what to do, then slowly settled himself back onto the bed. The pale body cradled in his arms did nothing more than mutter contentedly at the change. Still caught somewhere between awe and confusion, Laro wrapped his arms carefully around his treasure and listened to the gentle breathing, letting it lull him to sleep.
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Yeay Kuja! now... where's that plot... I put it down /somewhere/...
--Lunar
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