Bucky watched as you followed Natasha to the matts his eyes connecting with Steves. That's when he knew they had both fallen for you, he didn't know how or why. There had been so few encounters between you all, some of them a year ago and yet the attraction and connection that both of them felt for you and you for them was undeniable.

Steve put his arm across his back patting him on the shoulder in mutual understanding as they followed you and Natasha.

"I know pal...I know" steve said with a sigh.

Natasha had shown you about a dozen self defence moves. This was more your speed and you were getting the hang of it pretty quickly. She soon decided it was time to test them out.

You looked over to the two super soldiers, weighing up your options, but Natasha made the decision for you.

"Barnes, you're up" she announced stepping aside.

"remember take it slow, and only go at her in the ways I've shown her to defend herself" she explained.

He nodded slowly as he joined you on the Matt, flexing his metal hand as he got into position. Intimidating was not a strong enough word to describe how Bucky barnes looked right now. But he wore it well and you could feel that familiar acceleration of your heart rate as he got closer to you.

What had you gotten yourself into? Half an hour of self defence and you were up against the winter soldier. You scoffed silently to yourself at the thought and readied yourself for the attack.

He took it slow at first twisting your arm up behind your back. He was so close to you, closer than he had been before, his breath on your neck causing you to lose concentration. Focus, focus. You scolded yourself. You thought back to what Natasha had taught you and performed the manoeuvres as best as you could remember.

Somehow ten minutes in, you had managed to get the winter solider on his back, straddling his chest his arms pinned under your knees. You were out of breathe, that was for sure and had Bucky actually been trying to take you out you'd have stood no chance. You grinned down at him in victory, feeling slightly smug.

"You okay there soldier?" You teased receiving a laugh from both Steve and Natasha. Bucky rewarded with you with a genuine smile, which slowly seemed to fade as he became lost in his thoughts.

Suddenly the world flipped upside down and your back hit the coolness of the Matt, Bucky on top of you, his weight almost crushing you. You took a deep breath laughing lightly from your compromising position

"Easy there doll, don't get ahead of yourself" he almost growled smirking down at you.

Dear god, you were so turned on right now. There was nothing that was going to bring those self defence moves back the front of your mind anytime soon, you relented, holding in a whimper as he climbed off of you.

Natasha clapped her hands together making you jump, bringing you back to reality.

"So I think that's enough for today" she said cutting through the silence.

You breathed a sigh of relief, you were exhausted and you weren't sure you could take much more of the sexual tension.

"You okay there y/n?" Steve asked holding out his hand to help you up. You took it willingly, familiar electricity running down your arm.

"Yeah fine, we don't all have super soldier stamina you know..." you quipped with a smile.

"So were back to Y/n?" You asked as you all headed towards the exit.

He thought for a moment, a flash of guilt washing over his expression as he remembered how he'd spoken to you when he'd first seen you again.

"I guess we are..." he said with a half smile, his mind becoming distracted.

You looked to Bucky who shared the same smile as steve, talk about team building. Maybe things were going to be okay.

it was 2:30 in the afternoon, you were tapping away at the keyboard at your desk trying to be useful, which was difficult when the job you were doing didn't actually need doing.

You'd already logged where the team were going to be for the day and transferred at least a dozen calls and if you were being honest with yourself. This was pointless. You were going to have to speak to Tony. Not only did you feel bad for the free lodging and the generous wages that you were receiving but you felt like you could be doing more.

There had to be more. Right? On paper, working as a private receptionist for Tony stark and the rest of the avengers sounded amazing especially with all the perks it came with but you were restless and fidgety. Sure the self defence lessons and target practice were great when there was someone around to practice with, but day to day you were starting to feel like a waste of space. The team were off on missions or creating and designing in the lab, making a real difference.

You leant back in your chair inhaling deeply as you pondered your thoughts. Ofcourse you were always going to feel like an outsider amongst these Gods and Heroes, you'd been silly to think otherwise. You were their receptionist, not their equal and as much as they tried to include you, thats just how it was and always would be.

You pushed yourself up from your chair straightening out your dress. Maybe a coffee would help lift your spirits. You wandered through the hallways until you reached the main living area. No one was around and that was probably a good thing. You weren't sure you'd be able to muster up so much as a smile let alone a conversation with the way you were feeling.

"Everything okay?" came the deep tones of the captain from the seating area when you were about half way through your coffee making process.

"Oh, Hey steve" you said in surprise. you must have been miles away in your thoughts not have noticed him.

"ofcourse-" you continued adding another heaped teaspoon of sugar to your cup. "Just trying to keep busy" you added forcing a smile as you stirred absentmindedly.

He considered your reply for a moment before placing down what you thought to be a sketch book on the side and climbing to his feet. He wandered over to the other side of the breakfast bar resting his forearms across the surface as he read your expression.

You slid your hands around your coffee mug, enjoying the warmth and allowed your eyes to study his.

"You know, Im going to the Smithsonian this afternoon to gather some intelligence on some of the staff. When we took down strucker, his staff scattered. We've had a tip off that some of them may be working at the Smithsonian..." he explained

"-And you want to know why?" you finished taking a large sip of your overly sugared coffee.

"exactly" he said, a twinkle in his eye. "want to come?" he asked with a raise of his brow.

You stood up a little straighter slightly confused.

"Isn't this a mission?" you asked.

He tilted his head as he spoke "You could say that, but I need to blend in. Having you there will only help assist in that"

You thought about it for a moment, a slow smile taking over your features, maybe being a regular civilian could still be useful.

"Sure, why not?" You agreed placing your mug in the sink.

He stood to his full height again towering above you once more.

"Be ready in 10, Ill meet you in the parking lot" he said in his cap voice.

you couldn't help but let out a nervous laugh standing to attention and saluting him.

"Roger that , Captain" you joked lowering your voice before heading to your room to get changed.

You didn't catch the smile that flooded his features as you walked away, or the deep breath he took before following you out.

10 minutes later you wandered into the parking lot expectantly looking around for any sign of steve. You'd chosen a light blue tea dress paired with a leather jacket and ankle boots. You'd released your hair from the tight bun you'd worn for "work" and it now fell in loose curls around your shoulders.

You heard the roar of an engine as steve rounded the corner on his Harley. Okay so maybe you'd have dressed differently if you'd known this was to be your method of transport.

"Ready?" He asked simply, that soft smirk lingering on his lips. He wore a dark blue jacket with a plain white tee beneath it and he was breathtaking, especially sat astride the bike.

You smiled nervously as you eyed up the Harley.

"Uhm...yeah" you breathed as he passed you a helmet, even though he wasn't wearing one. Just one of the benefits of being a super soldier you supposed as you pulled it on. Great. Hat hair. You climbed onto the back as gracefully as you could manage as the bike roared to life once more.

"Probably best if you hold on..." he whispered with a knowing smile. You nodded in agreement and slid your hands around his waist shuffling a little closer to him, your breath hitching at the contact.

And then you were off. No more time to appreciate the abs you could feel beneath your fingers or the scent of his cologne that always made your head swim. You screwed your eyes up tightly at first only daring to take peak a couple of minutes in. Your knuckles were white where you clutched onto his tee, your face pressed into the back of his jacket

"Alright back there?" He almost yelled trying to be heard above the engine.

"Mhmmm...hmmm" you managed receiving a laugh in return.

10 minutes in and you were finding your feet, he rode well and the journey was smooth. You felt safe with your arms tight around him and you'd managed to relax enough to take in the scenery around you.

By the time you arrived at the Smithsonian you'd decided riding on the back of Steves Harley was one of your favourite things to do. It wasn't just that you had an excuse to be close to him, but you found the whole thing exhilarating. Perhaps there was an adrenaline junkie buried somewhere deep down after all.

The bike came to a steady stop and he kicked out the kickstand propping it up, waiting for you to climb off. You released his shirt from your grip and slid off the bike patting down your dress as best as you could. You pulled the bike helmet off and glared at steve knowing your fate. And true enough the minute his eyes caught site of you he was laughing.

Your hair was all over the place, flat to your head in some parts and frizzy everywhere else. You had no idea how some girls managed to make riding a bike look sexy, you were not one of those girls. Not by a long shot. Luckily Steve wasn't fazed by your crazy hair and lifted his hand pushing the loose strands out of your eyes.

He smiled down at you with a sense of adoration in his eyes that this time you didn't miss. The familiar red blushed your cheeks as you cleared your throat taking a step back as Sharon flashed through your mind.

"Come on..." he said holding his arm out to you. "Lets go read about...well me" he said with a shrug.

You took his arm willingly as you started towards the museum.

"We're going to the Captain America part?!" You asked, the fan girl in you surfacing a little bit.

He let out an easy laugh

"I'm afraid so.." he admitted as you wandered in to the lobby. He placed a baseball cap on causing you to snicker absentmindedly.

"Whats so funny?" He asked slightly confused.

"Is that supposed to be a disguise?" You laughed "-because I gotta tell you cap, you just look like Captain America in a baseball cap"

He shrugged "you'd be surprised how often this works" he whispered as you neared the front desk.

"Two please" he said keeping his head low as he paid for your tickets.

Steve had left you to your own devices for 20 minutes or so while he did the official part of the "mission", so you had made yourself busy reading up on his past and watching the various videos that were on display.

You were sat in the viewing room watching a video of the howling commandos on a rescue mission on the outskirts of Vienna when Steve rejoined you. You hadn't noticed him come in as you watched him and Bucky interact with each other on screen. It warmed your heart to watch them together, they were so in sync. Protecting each other at all costs, laughing and joking with one another when they could.

"you ready to go?" He whispered. You jumped slightly but didn't take your eyes off the screen as you held your hand up to shush him. You didn't want to be rude but you too were enthralled with the videos to leave now.

"Five more minutes?" You asked, noticing how much you sounded like a child who didn't want to leave the play ground. Steve smiled to himself as he watched your expression with interest , your eyes locked onto the screen. Then he heard her. Peggy. She was speaking about Steve in the past tense. He was in the ice when this had been recorded and her voice was filled with sadness which he still found painful to listen to.

You leant back in your seat as your hand subconsciously found Steves, giving it a light squeeze of support. You had felt the atmosphere change when Peggy had come on screen and you couldn't even begin to understand how hard it must be to hear her voice. She was beautiful, you noted. Strong and beautiful and everything that you would have expected the love of his life to be.

"She was beautiful" you whispered softly your eyes falling from the screen to steve.

He brushed off your sentiment climbing to his feet taking a deep inhale of breathe and holding out his hand to you.

"Lets go..." he said, unable to hide the sadness in his tone.

You struggled to keep up as he almost ran through the museum to the exit. Once you got back into the main area of the museum you put your hand on his shoulder to stop him.

"Steve" you breathed as he turned to face you.

He took another deep breath finally looking up to meet your eyes

"I'm sorry..." he said with a sigh receiving only a frown from you.

"You're allowed to be sad Steve... she was the love of your life" you said placing your hand on his arm "Even Heroes need time to mourn"

He contemplated it for a moment

"She was happy." He finally spoke, his voice cracking "and honestly thats all I could have asked for, given the circumstances." he admitted

You nodded in understanding, your hand slipping down his arm until your it joined with his as a sign of support.

"She had a life Steve and it's okay for you to have yours..."

He gave your hand a little squeeze as a thank you, suddenly adjusting himself and shaking away the moment.

"Hungry?" He asked changing the subject.

"Starving" you replied still gripping on to his hand. He may have tried to shake it off, but it was still in your thoughts. You could see the pain he was in and even though day to day he put on the brave face of captain America, underneath it all, Steve needed your support.

You both decided it had been a long day and take out back at the tower would be preferable to going out for food. When you pulled back up at the tower Sharon was waiting for steve at the door, arms folded, foot tapping.

You bit your lip feeling anxious on his behalf.

"Ill...uhm...see you inside" you said quickly climbing off the bike and heading towards the door giving Sharon a friendly smile as you neared her.

"Hi Sharon." You said casually trying to lighten the mood. Steve needed support right now and you could only hope she would be kind to him.

She didn't reply but gave a nod in your direction which was a better response than you had expected. With that, you left them alone and headed back in to the tower.

It was 3am when you woke to the noise of screaming. It was the most spine-chilling scream you'd ever heard and had you on your feet in seconds rushing to the door of your apartment. You tried to decipher where it was coming from and thats when you realised, it was Bucky.

You ran through the corridors needing to get to him, to reach him, to help. You could feel the tears prick your eyes as he yelled out agonising and torturous howls. You reached his door pushing it open without a seconds thought and rushing to his side.

"Bucky...Bucky" you breathed, the distress evident in your voice.

He was asleep. He was crying out in his sleep and it was excruciating to listen to.

You took his hand in yours stroking up and down his arm attempting to wake him up.

"Shhh...Bucky its okay...bucky" you whispered but to no avail. You allowed the tears to escape now as you shifted over holding onto him tightly. "Its going to be okay..." you said trying to calm yourself down at the same time. You sobbed onto his chest sharing his pain until his screaming stopped abruptly.

"Bucky?" You asked again propping yourself up, your hand reaching for his cheek.

He didn't reply. Silence. Just as your hand made contact with the stubbled skin of his cheek...

You felt pain. So much pain and the coolness of metal. He had hold of your wrist.

It was your turn to scream now, a scream of both shock and of agony as your eyes looked to him pleadingly.

"Bucky...stop Bucky , you're hurting me" you whimpered but he wasn't letting go.

Steve rounded the corner into Bucky's room upon hearing your screams as a sickening crunch rang out across the room, your bones giving way under the pressure.

"Y/n?!" He asked a mix of fear and concern in his eyes as you screamed for help.

As quickly as he realised what was happening he had Bucky in a choke hold, his knee pinning the metal arm down as he compressed his wind pipe.

Bucky let out a choking noise and you noticed the smallest bit of recognition in his eyes before he passed out from lack of oxygen finally releasing your arm.

You threw yourself backwards as soon as you were free falling back into a heap on the floor holding onto your wounded arm as the tears ran uncontrollably down your cheeks.

Steve released Bucky satisfied he was down for the moment, his eyes swimming with fear as they locked on to your crumbled form.

"Y/n" he stammered.

You jumped to your feet, a sudden need to be anywhere else but in Bucky's room. You sprinted down the halls clutching your arm to your chest, tears stinging your now reddened face. You could hear some of the other Avengers coming out of their living quarters wandering what was going on but you just ran, ran until you reached your room and were safely behind the now locked door hidden from site.

You allowed yourself to sink to the floor as you choked on air and tears, your back to the door. not a moment had gone by when there was a knock on the door.

"Y/n?"

It was steve.

You didn't reply, you didn't have any words.

"Y/n, I need you to open the door...please"

You'd made the decision not to let him in but hearing the worry in his "Please" forced you to stand, opening the door, your head low in an attempt to hide your tears.

"Oh god...sweetheart" he soothed pulling you into his chest.

Once you were in his arms you sobbed freely unable to hide your pain. He didn't push, he just held you, stroking your hair as you cried into him, wishing he could fix everything you were feeling.

10 minutes went by before you had finally calmed down enough to hold a conversation. You'd moved to sit down on the sofa, your entire body still shaking from shock. He sat by your side, his hand on the bare skin of your knee drawing invisible circles with his thumb in an attempt to comfort you.

"Y/n, it wasn't him" he said in a whisper.

"I know"

"He has nightmares, of hydra, of the years he spent as their weapon and when he wakes up, it takes a moment for Bucky to be Bucky again..."

"I wanted to help him, he was in so much pain" you cried, tears forming again.

"Hey, shhh...I know, I know. But the best thing you can do for Bucky when he's like that is give him space doll." he sighed running his hand through his hair, his other arm sliding behind your back and pulling you into his side gently.

You moved willingly into his arms yet again, sobbing on to his shoulder.

"I should have warned you" he added.

"Its not your fault"

"If you'd been warned then this wouldn't have happened" he said gesturing to your wrist.

You lifted your head placing your hand on his cheek lifting his head to look you in the eyes.

"not everything is your fault, steve"

His eyes matched the sadness of yours, guilt plaguing him as it often did.

There was a long pause between you, no more words to say. An unspoken conversation said with only your eyes and then his lips were on yours.

The kiss was soft, sad and brief. It was over before it had really begun as Sharon interrupted the moment again, in spirit this time.

"We should get that checked out" he said nodding towards your wrist before helping to your feet.

"I'm okay, I'll go and find Bruce...please go, find Bucky, make sure he's okay?" You asked concern dictating your tone.

He nodded with a small sad smile at the compassion and concern you held for his best friend.

"Ill come and find you in a bit" you finished walking with him to the door. He paused momentarily, his mind racing , before he placed a long and gentle kiss to your forehead.

He turned away without a word heading back into the darkened hallway.

Deep breath.

What a day.