**NOTE** SURPRISE! This is SOFisticated1 updating for LazyElmo. Just helping out my little homie. Parentheses are my comments because Elmo finds them amusing... :3. Laters.

Wait! Fuck this shit. I'm updating for her allll of the time. Do you know that she beta's/pre-reads my FemSlash fic… YUP. She LOVES the job too. So, self-pimpage *pops collar* - Go read Movie Nights under SOFisticated1 (no, I will not link you lazy asses. Search me.). If you don't like Girlie action then check out Love, Music. It's E/B AU with the usual pairings. Get at me! xoxox

A/N: I HATE NOT HAVING INTERNET CONNECTION! (So do I.) I JUST finished writing chapter 3 and now I'm starting four out of boredom (that's obvious). I really wish I could have posted today (which is Monday the 12th -that was Elmo, not SOF) cuz I was super eager for you guys' thoughts. But anyway, who knows when this chapter will actually be out... (I do! 9-22-2011 :D!)

Thank you to the reviewers and the lurkers (*waves at the lurkers who never review*), you're all awesome! Keep it up...pwease? (Yes, she begged.)

So, now, enjoy and yea... enjoy. (*hip thrust*)

Disclaimer:LazyMasochistBoot (idk what the BOOT deal is) does not own Twilight or any yummies within that Saga… SM does. *pouts* (SOF #offline)

Chapter 4: Now Offline

"Aw, Bella, you're so cute! Having a Skype romance! Awww," Emmett clearly wanted to die because he pinched my cheeks and fucked up my hair like I was a five year old kid. I slapped his hand so hard, I was sure I left a mark.

"This is why I don't tell you anything, Em," I folded my arms and pouted. I had just let him read the messages from last night. I don't know what I was thinking showing them to him. He has the serious capacity of a chimp.

"Okay, fine, fine. So, this Mr. Skype, you're into him?" he asked, nudging my leg with his. I turned and sat back on the couch, tucking one leg under the other.

"I mean...I don't know him...but he's fuck-hot and funny and charming and sweet… you know? But like, where is he? Who is he? I don't know shit about him. So, I do like him but... into him? That would be creepy considering he's a stranger."

"Then ask him about himself," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Emmett, I don't know the guy! I can't get all in his business like that so soon. He'll think I'm some sorta psycho." I smacked his arm in frustration. It was times like this when I wished that I had a female friend to talk to. Guys just don't get it.

"Well, then, I don't know what to say to you, Bells! Either ask the guy about himself or keep the mystery alive! That is my final answer."

I rolled my eyes. But, as much as I'd hate to admit it, he was right. I should just casually bring it up in a conversation. If he even tries to talk to me again because there is no way I'm initiating that conversation.

xxSwSxx

"Come on," I mumbled to myself, willing the computer to beep with my eyes. It was eight o'clock at night. Around almost 24 hours since he'd sent me the message yesterday. And I was waiting, praying, for another one today.

I couldn't type him a message because girls shouldn't have to take the first step. I mean, I'm more of a 'You come to me' type of person. But I'm also a 'Don't keep me waiting' type of person. Ugh. I don't even know the guy and he's already got me screwed up in the head. Who would've thought I'd become dick-whipped by green eyes and a fuckable looking jaw? Hmm.

"Damn you, EDCullen!" I yelled, slamming my fists on the computer table.

"Send me a message!"

BEEP!

My wishing worked? Holy hell, let's test this. "Uh...send me a latte!" I yell but no delicious drink comes my way. Hmm, guess it only works with messages. Shrugging and with eager hands, I open the message.

Are you busy or are you the 'wait for him to message first' type? *smirk*

That sexy bastard has figured me out! Why do I find that so hot?

Oh! Right, Mr. Skype. I almost FORGOT about you...

I smirk as I send the sarcastic reply. Score one for me, zero for Mr. Skype. His reply is almost instant.

Forgot about me? I find that hard to believe. Especially since you've been dreaming about me for days...

My jaw drops. What. The. Fuck. How does he know he's been the star of my wettest dreams lately?

Says who?

I ask, looking around me for signs of a camera or some shit. What if he's spying on me?

It was wishful thinking. By the way, you answered with a question I can tell I was right.

My eyes narrow at his words. He thinks he's so frickin' smart. Before I can reply, another message pops up.

What do you dream about, CowBell?

Sex. Sex with you. Sex with you on every possible surface. No biggie. Instead of saying that, I play it cool.

Certainly not about you, Mr. EDC.

His reply is quick again and I can almost hear him chuckle in my ear. Gah!

Lies, lies, lies.

Again, I play it cool as if I'm not a giddy schoolgirl on the inside right now.

You're awfully confident.

Not confident. Hopeful.

Hopeful? Hmm, Mr. Skype, whatever do you mean?

Hopeful for what?

Hopeful I've been on your mind just as much as you've been on mine. Now tell me, what do you dream about?

Oh. Em. Geezus. That has to be the cheesiest, sweetest thing ever. I've been on his mind? Fucking score! Yes! EDC, you've been on my mind a sickening amount, but if you keep badgering I might have to scare you away with my crazy sex dream talk. So, I keep it relaxed and mysterious.

...things

Big things?

Was that an innuendo? Marry me now, you perv. Marry. Me. Now.

You're dirty.

You like?

Fuck yes, I do! Any woman with a functional vagina would like it!

I love. And yes, VERY big...

I do hope I live up to your expectations.

What if he has a tiny cock? Nah... He's too hot for that. I doubt it. I seriously doubt it. I believe in the power of EDC peen!

I'm sure you will.

What exactly are we talking about here?

Your cock, duh.

...the big things I dream about, of course.

His next reply takes for-fucking-ever to come and I start in on my fingers, biting them like a maniac.

Have I said too much and scared him away? Damn it, Bella! You shouldn't have started the dick-talk!

BEEP! Frick yes, a reply.

I dream about things, as well, CowBell...

Asdfghjkl! Like what, like what, like what!

What kind of things, EDC?

...wet things. Goodnight, CowBell.

I literally almost topple over out of the chair as I read his message. Wet things? Pussy, pussy, pussy.

He's having filthy dreams about me too! This is epic! This is beyond epic! This is... be-epic!

And why is he saying goodnight now? Just when we're getting somewhere, argh!

Wait!

I pray to Jeebus that he hasn't left the computer already.

Yes?

Thank you, Jeebus! With a deep breath, I decide to take Emmett's advice and try to get some info from Mr. Skype.

What's your name?

Again, he takes forever to say something back. When he finally does, I slump back in the chair, defeated.

Mr. Skype. Now, goodnight, CowBell.

EDCullen is now offline.

A/N: Still with me, guys? (SOF: BUURRNNN!) I hope so. They're starting to talk more so that's good but she still hasn't accepted the request. What the fuck is up with that, right? Bella told me she doesn't want to accept it... she's a stubborn bitch (like her creator).

Anyway, with this whole prewritten thing going, I might be able to set up an update schedule. Perhaps… every Wednesday or something? Sound good? (Let us know please. Spanks.)

P.S. I hope you guys don't mind the shorter chapters. But they help me to get chaps to you guys sooner so that's good right?

(P.S.S.) Question: Are you a bit pissed that Mr. Skype didn't tell his name or are you intrigued by the mystery he's providing? Hmm

~LazyMasochist(Marie) Twitter: (at) ElmoStew