A/N: You guys are amazing! Even those of you who don't like the way this story is turning out have supported me in this, and I greatly appreciate it. I will say again that I'm a diehard Densi shipper ... this was just a story that popped into my head and felt like a cool break from the canon stories out there. I love those stories too, but this one turned out way different.

Anyway ... I own nothing ... if I did, the mutant ninja assassins would already be toddlers.

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Point of Darkness

The cab couldn't move fast enough for Kensi, she had to get to her place and as far away from that man as possible. She had dressed quickly in his hotel room after she had recovered enough to function after her spell in the bathroom and had left as fast as her feet would carry her. As she passed through the main lobby, she had caught Sabatino's smug face smirking at her from where he was sitting in the hotel's restaurant enjoying his breakfast. The temptation to walk over and stab him in the crotch with his fork was overwhelming but her mind was finally clear after the hell the morning had been. So she just sent him her best go-to-hell glare, adamantly flipped him off, which shocked the waiter standing behind him, and then she bolted out through the front doors.

She was grateful that there was a cab waiting to take her away from a nightmare she knew she wouldn't wake up from anytime soon. As the driver looked over his shoulder, waiting for her to tell him her destination, she had almost told him to take her directly back to the hospital where Deeks was waiting. Sabatino's overpowering cologne emanating from her clothes prompted her to direct him to her place where she could scrub away the scent of her shame until her skin bled.

An hour later and another cab was dropping her off a few blocks from the Office of Special Projects where her SRX was parked. The short walk was a blur and even after she started driving, the familiar sound of her favorite techno station offered her little solace. This was going to be bad ... very bad ... and there was absolutely nothing she could think of to make it any better.

As she walked into ICU department, Kensi checked her watch and noted that it had been almost eight hours since she had left for the 'few drinks' with Sabatino and her mind began to race at all the possibilities of Deeks' condition. Her mind was reeling at everything that could possibly have happened in her absence when she looked up and saw a very exhausted looking G. Callen walking down the hallway toward her. When he looked up at her, she couldn't help but gasp at how bad he looked and how cold his eyes turned when he realized she was there.

"Where the hell have you been? I tried to call you like a million times ... " When he saw her face fall and the color leave her, Callen realized what that had started to sound like. "Wait ... Deeks is still stable ... sorry, didn't mean to freak you out."

Kensi felt the air rush back into her lungs. He's alive ... thank God! Now, stay calm ... act like everything is cool. "Has there been any change?"

Callen noted the coolness in her question, like she was talking about someone she didn't know all that well. "Um ... no ... there hasn't been anything new, he's still in a coma but he survived the night and the doctors are more optimistic today than they were last night." She nodded and then went to walk past him until he reached out and caught her arm. "Hey ... you okay? Where did you go last night?"

Kensi swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to sound nonchalant ... she failed miserably. "I'm fine. I went out for some air ... took a long walk ... got a shower ... "

Callen didn't even try to hide that he knew she wasn't being honest with him, but he thought maybe it was better to let it go ... for now. "Okay ... but you were gone for several hours, we were getting worried."

Kensi emotional force field cracked a little. "I said 'I'm FINE!' ... why the hell don't you just mind your own damn business!"

Crap.

She rubbed at her temple with her left hand. "Callen ... I'm sorry, I just ... I mean ... I ..."

Callen placed a gentle hand on her shoulder and gave her a brotherly squeeze. "Hey, it's okay ... I know you're exhausted and I can't imagine what you're going through ... "

Really ? You have no freaking idea.

"But I need you to pull yourself together ... Deeks is going to need his partner to be at the top of her game and be there for him when he wakes up ... okay?"

She folded her arms across her chest and nodded as she looked down at the floor, terrified that her team leader and friend would see something he shouldn't if he looked too long into her eyes.

When he wakes up ... oh God.

"Come on ... I was going to check on Sam and the docs checking on Deeks; there's fresh coffee in the waiting room, you look like you need a cup or two." He tugged at her arm tenderly and she let him lead her down the hall where she would sit and wait ...

and wait ...

and wait.

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...

Three days.

Seventy-two hours ... give or take an hour or two.

It had been three miserable days of sitting and trying to sleep in an hard-as-a-brick plastic hospital chair that was either designed by Attila the Hun or someone who had no concept of the nuances of human anatomy. Kensi's back ached to the point of making her want to scream and her legs kept falling asleep when she stayed in the sitting position too long. She would get up and walk around the ward, most of the nurses giving sympathetic looks to the tall brunette that refused to leave her partner, even though she couldn't be with him in person. They assumed it was because of the closeness that they shared and they were right ... for the most part. But the biggest reason she stayed in the small waiting room, hour after long hour, was because she feared that if she left ... she wouldn't have the courage to ever come back.

Then one morning the doctor said that his vital signs were stable and had improved to the point where they could remove him from the ventilator. He probably wouldn't wake up right away ... it may even take days or weeks but that would give them time to work on his mouth and fix the damage there. The young charge nurse, Tonya, had also told Kensi that her partner was being transferred to the step-down ward and into a private room where he could now have visitors as long as they didn't disturb him.

Over the next two days, every one of his team members dropped by and then stayed as long as they possibly could. Sam had been discharged pretty soon after being treated for his burns and water-damaged lungs, spent a great deal of time watching Deeks sleep, like a secret guardian angel. He seemed to have something on his mind every time Kensi looked over at him ... like there was something he wanted or needed to say ... but wasn't exactly sure how to say it. Kensi had enough of her own regrets to worry about what had apparently happened between the two men.

Eric and Nell dropped by often, both of them horrified at what had happened to him but also elated that his body was beginning to recover from all the trauma it had suffered. Kensi had watched from the door as Nell had leaned over and whispered something in Deeks' ear before she tenderly kissed his forehead. The brunette wondered what the analyst had said to her sleeping partner, maybe there would come a time when she would ask and now ... wasn't it.

Callen had been the strangest visitor of all. His visits were short and he hardly spoke to either the sleeping man in the bed or the clearly anxious woman who always hovered nearby. Several times, Callen had looked through the observation window to catch Kensi looking into the room. When she had met his gaze, there was guilt and regret written clearly on his face. She knew he felt horrible about the direction the mission had taken after Janvier's betrayal, but she just hoped he didn't her own remorse at actions taken that hadn't been part of the plan.

That's where they had been that fateful afternoon, Kensi watching as Callen sat motionless beside his teammate's bed, when suddenly, Callen sat up quickly and beckoned her to come into the room. She reluctantly walked through the door but he cut her off before she could ask him anything.

"His hand, Kensi ... he just moved his hand!"

She looked over to where Callen was pointing and it happened again. It looked as if Deeks was trying raise his right arm from under the sheet that covered him. Then they both heard a small moan coming from the bed and his legs where beginning to flex.

Callen shot out of his chair and turned toward the door. "He's waking up ... I'll find a nurse and let them know."

"No!" Kensi's body was trembling ... whether it was elation or fear, she didn't really know. "I mean ... no, you stay here ... I'll go find the nurse."

Callen couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Kensi? What are you doing ... " But she was gone from the room before he could finish asking why she seemed determined to run away from her partner now that he was coming back to them.

Kensi walked a few steps before she spotted nurse Tonya coming around the corner. When the young woman looked up at her, all Kensi could think to say was, "I think he's waking up."

Tonya flew into action, turning quickly to the nurse's station and telling them to page Doctor Evans immediately and have him report to room E3. Kensi remained motionless as the woman flew past her into her partner's room which suddenly became a very busy place. A few other nurses rushed past and soon, Doctor Evans came running down the hallway. The curtain was drawn across the window just as Callen was ushered from the room and he stopped beside Kensi who still seemed a bit stunned.

He turned until they were face-to-face and when she looked into his steel-blue eyes ... she wished she hadn't. "What the hell Kensi?! What has gotten into you?" She started to run away but his hand flew to her arm and his grip was like iron. "You've been sulking around here for days ... hovering over him ... and when he starts to wake up ... you bolt!"

Kensi snatched her arm out of his grip and her eyes turned to fire. "Let it go Callen ... it's none of your concern."

"Like hell it is ... my team is falling apart and whatever happened between you and Deeks seems to be at the heart of it. So it is most definitely my business! I suggest you pull your head out of your ass before I start to doubt your ability to deal with what happened to Deeks ... you got it?"

He thinks it's about the torture ... he thinks I'm falling apart because of what happened to Deeks. "Look, Callen, I need you just to be a little patient with me ... I know it seems ..."

Tonya poked her head out of through the door. "Excuse me ... he's asking for you." There was no doubt who the who she was referring to but Kensi remained frozen in place.

Callen looked from Tonya back to Kensi, his face a mask of shock and surprise. "Well, are you going or not?"

Kensi tore her eyes from his, nodded quickly and moved to follow the nurse into the room.

"I'll go ahead and call the others." Callen said with very little emotion as he turned away, his cell phone already at his ear.

The air felt stuffy and thick as she passed the threshold. Well, here goes nothing. She stepped into the room and two nurses walked passed her. The doctor was still leaning over the man in the bed, asking questions that would show any problems with cognitive memory and levels of pain. When Doctor Evans flashed a smile in Kensi's direction, she took it as good news.

A tender hand on her arm and a soft tug got her attention. "Your name was the first word out of his mouth." Tonya thought that this bit of news would do wonders for the female agent's state of mind ... she was stunned by the way the woman's face lost some of its color, like it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Doctor Evans stopped beside her, making a few more notations on Deeks' chart. "He's still a bit groggy ... but his vitals are strong and his memory seems intact. There may be a few spots where he's a little fuzzy on exact events but, otherwise, this is a great start in his recovery. Nurse Tonya will be right outside if you need anything and don't worry if he fades in and out for the next hour or so ... it's perfectly normal."

They were almost out of the room when Kensi found her voice. "Thank you."

The nurse and doctor nodded politely and then made their exit. When she finally turned toward the bed, she saw that the man laying there was looking directly at her, his bruised mouth turned up into an almost grotesque smile.

"Hey." His voice was cracked and weak from disuse, at any other time she would have made a comment about how much she had missed his non-stop chattering ... this was neither the time nor the place.

All Kensi could muster was a shy "Hi."

Silence fell on the room as Kensi looked everywhere but at her partner and Deeks' eyes never left her for a second.

"Sam?" Is was a one word question that held tons of meaning.

Kensi turned her mind to agent mode and focused on the situation at hand, rather than the one that she hoped no one would ever know about. "He's fine ... went home a few days ago ... nothing too serious to worry about."

Deeks eyes closed for a moment and it seemed to Kensi that a huge burden came to rest on his shoulders but she thought it better not to mention it. He took a shallow breath and winced at the pain that shot through his torso before he blew it out gently.

"Michelle?"

"She's fine too ... we got the nukes and Sid ... " She saw him physically tense at the sound of the man's name. "I mean ... he's dead ... along with his partner. Janvier is in custody ... we stopped them."

His response was a simple nod of his head but she knew him well enough to see the rage that was roaring though his battered body. Even after all that had happened, Kensi was glad the bastard that sis this to her partner had died with two slugs from her own gun in his chest. She watched as Deeks' eyes slipped closed and she wondered if he had fallen back asleep but he only kept them closed for a moment.

"You?"

Her heart almost stopped in her chest. He was lying in a hospital bed, having just cheated death once more, and he was concerned about her. She felt the prick of tears in the corners of her eyes and she tried to wipe them away before they became more than she could control.

"Deeks ..." It was almost a plea.

"If you say you're fine ... I'll borrow Hetty's letter opener."

The soft chuckle that escaped her lips surprised her, even as more tears slipped down her cheeks. After all of that, he was still Deeks ... maybe they could get through this without any serious damage done to their 'thing'. She knew he was holding back, she could feel it from across the room ... there were things he wanted to say about what had happened up on that hill, and then later when he was strapped to that chair. The time would come and she hoped she would be strong enough to endure it.

"I don't blame you ... " His words were like a stake through her heart. "For leaving me there ... I know it wasn't your fault."

"I'm so sorry ... I didn't ... I mean ... "

Deeks tried to sound firm but his energy was quickly fading. "Kens ... don't, okay?"

"But I ... I need to tell you ... "

He quickly cut her off. "No ... I need to tell you something before the pain meds kick in and I fall asleep." Kensi wiped at her eyes, knowing she couldn't really speak even if he had allowed her to go on. "When I was tied to that chair and everything was going ... well, going south ... the place I went to ... it was you. I ... I thought of your face ... your smile ... your laugh."

Oh God. Now she was really about to lose it.

"Deeks ... "

The door behind her opened and when she turned in that direction, she expected to see Callen or maybe even Hetty entering the room ... it was neither. Her body tensed and she felt like she was about to vomit right there. She kept her voice low, trying to keep Deeks from hearing.

'What the hell are you doing here?"

The man simply smirked at her and acted like she hadn't said a word, instead he turned to the man lying in the bed.

"Detective Deeks."

Deeks rotated his head slightly and tried to sound friendly to the man who had barged into the room. "Agent Sabatino ... for what do I owe this pleasure?"

Sabatino glanced over momentarily at Kensi before turning back to Deeks. "I was just informed of your recovery and was directed by my superiors to stop by and personally congratulate you on a job well-done."

"Wow ... coming from you, I must have royally screwed up."

Sabatino chuckled lightly, but his rigid manner revealed a level of animosity toward the injured man. "Quite the contrary ... without you, this mission would have, more than likely, ended in failure ... we owe you a debt."

Deeks' cheeky smile slowly returned. "You here that Kensi ... the CIA owes me debt."

Kensi hadn't moved a muscle since Sabatino had entered the room and when Deeks looked over at her, he could see her obvious discomfort at the other man's presence.

"Hey Kens ... you okay?"

Her only response was to look down at the floor and briskly shrug her shoulders. Deeks decided not to push the issue, he really didn't like Sabatino all that much anyway and was glad to see that his partner shared his opinion of the other man.

"So ... now that it's all over, I guess he'll have to take you out for that drink."

If a meteor had crashed through the window and killed her where she stood ... Kensi would have been eternally grateful ... but that didn't happen. She just had to stand there with Deeks' face growing more confused at the stunned expression on her face and Sabatino grinning at her like a cat that just finished a bowl of milk. Deeks took a few moments to observe his partner, trying to discern why she had turned into a statue since the CIA agent had entered the room. Even though he really didn't like the man, they had worked together fairly well and he didn;t understand why she was barely speaking and had gone cold all of a sudden.

Sabatino watched as Deeks tried to assess Kensi and she tried to act like nothing was wrong. For a woman who could hold her own undercover with the worst the world had to offer ... at this particular moment, she was acting like a recruit on her first day of training. Since he wasn't in the mood to continue with the little game that was playing out before him, he decided it was time to go ... but not before he got in one more shot.

"That's alright ... Agent Blye and I have already settled that, haven't we?" Sabatino's smile was similar to one worn by a cat that had the mouse cornered with no where for it to go. "Anyway, take care detective ... Agent Blye." He left the room with a little more swagger in his step and one last look over his shoulder at a woman who wanted nothing more than to vanish off the face of the earth.

The door hadn't fully closed when Deeks spoke. "Well ... that was ... weird."

Kensi folded her arms across her chest, trying to keep her body from shaking at the rage and shame bubbling just under the surface. She still hadn't said anything and was doing her best to act like everything was fine. "Uh huh."

"That's all you've got? The king of smarmy breezes in here and you act like he stole your last Twinkie. I thought you got along with him okay the last time ... what's up?"

Her reply was instant and harsh. "Nothing's up."

Deeks reaction was to roll his eyes slightly and cock his head at her. "Okaaaayyy ... how about you snap back to reality and tell me what's bothering you."

"Nothing's bothering me ... I'm fine."

"Really Kens? You've been tense since you came in here and when Slobatino walks in the door you barely even look in his direction."

Kensi's agitation level was nearing critical mass ... she knew the moment of truth was coming ... she just hadn't expected it to come so soon.

"From the way you were trying not to even look in his direction ... the tension was so thick ... you two were acting like you just slept together." He meant it as a joke, a way to snap her out of the funk she was in ... he had no idea he was right ... until he heard her short gasp and watched all the color drain from her face.

Deeks took a deep breath, feeling his own anxiety level shoot through the roof. "Wait ... you didn't really ... are you serious?!"

Her choked sob was all the confirmation he needed. "Deeks .. I ... I didn't mean for it to happen ... "

His eyes locked on the ceiling as he tried to maintain control of his emotions ... he failed miserably. "You mean .. you and ... and HIM?!"

Kensi lowered her head into her hands, her sobs making her entire body shake. "Oh God Deeks ... I'm so sorry!"

His breathing became more ragged and he felt as if he was floating above himself for a few moments. A sharp beeping came from the right side of the bed, one of the monitors indicating something wasn't right with the person they were attached too. Tears stung at his eyes and he knew they weren't going to end anytime soon ... his entire world just fell out from under him and he felt like he was free-falling through the air. "Oh no ... no ... no, no, no ... God! You have got to be kidding me Kensi!"

Kensi took a deep breath and finally looked over at her partner, and what she saw broke her heart just a little more. The complete and utter devastation written all over his face almost made her fall to her knees at that moment.

"Please ... please tell me you're kidding ... you didn't really have sex with that creep ... did you?"

She didn't have to actually say the words ... it was written all over her countenance and he had always been able to read her like an open book. He looked at her hopefully for a moment, hoping with everything he had that she would laugh and let him in on her little joke, even bad as it was. When he saw the truth in her watery eyes ... his gaze returned to the ceiling and his words became cold and hallow.

"I think you should leave ... right now."

She moved closer to the bed, reaching out to touch his hand ... he yanked it away from her as if her touched burned him, the movement caused him to hiss loudly in pain. "No ... I'm not leaving you ... not again!"

"Kensi ... leave." It was a firm command with a bit of pleading in it as well.

"Deeks ... please ... "

He closed his eyes and his body began to tremble as pure rage rolled through him. "I can't believe you ... how could you? You ... you ask me to say something I really mean and when I can't find the words ... I kissed you instead ... oh God!"

She could hear the tremble in his voice and wanted to do anything to calm him down. "Deeks ... please, you have to calm down ... "

"When, Kensi?"

"What?"

He gritted his teeth together and felt white-hot pain shoot up his jaw ... it didn't detour him. "When did you and 'I smell like I bath in Polo' hook up ... before or after I kissed you?"

"Deeks .. don't ..."

"WHEN?!" The machine's beeping was growing more urgent.

Kensi hung her head. "After."

The sob that escaped his throat destroyed her. "Oh ... my ... God."

"I didn't mean for it to happen ... you were in a coma and I was so scared of losing you ... I needed to get away and catch my breath ..."

Deeks was seething. "So you figured you run out and fuck the first person you ran across ... well, how did that work out for you?!"

"Deeks ... I'm sorry ... "

"Stop saying that! I try and show you how I feel and while I'm laying here you go out and ... oh God ... I think I'm going to be sick ... "

Kensi spun and headed for the door. "I'll get the nurse ... "

"Just leave Kensi ... please ... "

"Deeks ... "

When he looked at her, his eyes seemed to bore right through to her soul. "I'm asking you to get the hell out of my room ... NOW!"

She heard him yell at her ... and she had never experienced that from him ... and for a moment she was so stunned, she couldn't move. Then the beeping from beside the bed went ballistic and another louder alarm beeped out in the hallway. A few seconds later, the door flew open, Tonya and another nurse rushed into the room, concern clear on their faces. "Mr. Deeks! You need to calm down!"

Kensi was frozen in place by the door and was barely aware of what was happening around her. The nurse who she didn't know grabbed her by the arms and began pushing her out into the hallway. "Sorry Ms., but you need to set out for a moment and let us check him over."

The brunette planted her feet, not intending on moving an inch. "I'm not going anywhere!"

Tonya leaned in close to try and hear what Deeks was whispering over and over. It took a moment and then she finally caught it. "Get her out of here ... get her the hell out of here."

The young nurse whirled and fixed her gaze on the female federal agent. "If you don't leave this room this instant, I'll be forced to call security."

"Go ahead ... see what happens when they get here." Kensi was about to shove the other nurse up against the wall and clock her.

"My second call will be to your direct supervisor ... a Miss Henrietta Lange. She gave explicit instructions about what to do if you hindered our treatment of Detective Deeks in any way." Tonya's friendly demeanor from earlier had vanished, replaced by dedicated protectiveness of her patient. "Your call, Ms. Blye."

Kensi knew she could handle the hospital security, but Hetty was not a person she wanted to tangle with ... not with what was happening between her and Deeks, especially since he had just woken up from his coma. Defeated, she dropped her shoulders and let the nurse guide her out into the hallway. Doctor Evans ran by her, his face full of confused concern about a man who just moments earlier was doing fine.

The door closed slowly and then all the sounds from inside were blocked. Kensi leaned her back against the wall and slowly slid down until she was sitting on the floor. She lowered her head and rested it on top of her knees, her breathing nothing more than choked sobs. Her world was falling apart and she could see nothing past the little square tiles that covered the hospital floor. Her world compressed down to a few square feet of cold floor and the tears that were dripping from her cheeks and wetting the tops of her thighs.

She sat there and slowly fell apart as other patients and workers walked by and left her to her own personal hell. The numbness in her arms and legs worked its way over her body until she felt nothing ... not the floor under her nor the block wall at her back. The emptiness inside was worse ... all of her soul ached as the storm inside her raged against herself.

The look of devastation on Deeks' pained face was etched into her memory like it was carved in stone and she knew there was nothing on this earth that could erase it. Her heart was shattering into a million small shards that seemed to cut her deep down to her core.

Kensi was breaking ... flying apart in a shower of pain and anguish into single point of darkness.

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A/N: If you hate it or love it ... let me know how you feel in the little box at the bottom. This may be the last posting until after Christmas and I've got to update "Aunt Hetty" before too long also. See you guys.

Semper Fi

JS