Chapter 4
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NEW YORK CITY. MERCY HOSPITAL. MORNING.
"Aren't you supposed to be mourning your baby?" Mairym's friend Stephie asked from the other end of the phone.
"Are you serious? I didn't want the damn thing to begin with! I'm glad it's gone!"
"And your gravy train right along with it!"
"Not even! I'll shed some tears, play the whole 'my precious baby is gone' card and Elliot will be putty in my hands. I got this!"
"There's still the matter of his wife…" Stephie reminded.
What about her? It's not like he ever loved her!"
"HE told you this?"
"Only a million times! He told me that he's been looking for a reason to get away from her!"
"You can't be serious!"
"The day she caught us together, he really let her have it. He got in her face and told her that he was in love with me and told her to leave us alone and let us be happy! Anyway, he should be here soon, he's probably out buying me like a ton of flowers. Gotta put on my sad face; later babe!" she said and ended the call.
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LOWER MANHATTAN, BRIAN'S OFFICE
"Babe… Babe I… I will… Alex! I will not be late!" he said into his Bluetooth while he signed the papers his secretary handed to him. "Okay. I love you too!" he ended the call just as Elliot walked into his office.
"All done!" Donna, Brian's secretary said as he signed the last document. "Good morning Mr. Stabler. You look like you could use some coffee!"
"No, I'm good, Donna, thanks. I just need to talk to my partner if that's ok."
"Of course, I'll give you two some privacy." She said before walking out and shutting the door behind her. Elliot slumped into one of the chairs by Brian's desk.
"You look like shit!" Brian exclaimed as he picked red skittles from the glass bowl on his desk and began popping them in his mouth.
"I feel like shit! She lied to me."
"Since Liv's not into tricks, I'm gonna go with Mairym, am I right?" there was a lengthy silence.
"She lost the baby last night." He said flatly.
"El, man, I'm sorry."
"It wasn't mine."
"What?"
"The kid wasn't mine. Turns out, she was already pregnant that night. She didn't want me going back to Liv so she told me it was mine. "
"El…"
"I was ready to go crawling back to my wife on my damn hands and knees and beg; literally BEG her to forgive me! But then Mairym drops a bomb on me and as much as it killed me, I decided to do the right thing for the baby and it wasn't even mine." He laughs hysterically at the irony. "I could kill that bitch with my bare hands!" Brian was a bit alarmed at Elliot's behavior.
"So what's your next move?"
"The only one I can make; get rid of her and get my wife back!"
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LOS ANGELES. OLIVIA'S HOTEL SUITE, 2 DAYS LATER
Olivia's POV
Since he took me in his arms that night in the restaurant, we haven't been apart. He's like a drug. For the last 2 days, all we've done is fuck. We haven't left my suite, and the only clothing either of us has worn is a bathrobe to answer the door for room service! Right now he has me in the shower; my back is pinned against the cold marble wall and my legs are spread impossibly wide and pushed back, thrown haphazardly over his arms; my arms around his neck, pulling him closer as my lips devour his with kisses that are as hot as the steam that surrounds us. I don't know how I've been able to take so much of him these past two days; I don't know how I'm able to take him now – I'm so sore but even so, he feels amazing and right now, the only sensation that registers is pleasure as he thrusts into me slow and deep, grinding his hips against me as I cry out again and again. My legs begin to shake and I know that I won't last long. I'm moaning loud as I feel my orgasm coming and I bite his bottom lip, Trevor is determined to make this slow torture for me!
Trevor
No matter how much of her he has, he cannot get enough of this woman! The way she looks, the way she smells, the way she moans, the way she tastes… god, the way she tastes! He's been on his knees; his mouth worshipping between her beautiful thighs more times than he can count; her pussy has become his religion, her body, his God and he is a devout believer, steadfast in his reverence. With his mouth, he's just made her come violently and has climbed onto the bed where she lays, still trembling and kisses her perfect lips, her juices still on his own. As her hands travel through his hair, he finds his fingers at her clit again but she quickly pushes them away; she's far too sensitive to be touched there after having been whipped into submission by his tongue.
"No…no…Please!" she exclaimed when she was finally able to from coherent words then pulled him in for another searing kiss, wrapping her legs around him. "Oh. My. God!" she laughed.
"I think we need to get out of this suite for a while." He murmured as he planted kisses on her neck.
"That sounds like a great idea" she purred into his ear, while skimming her nails along his spine. "I just might have a little trouble walking." She smiled as she took his head in her hands and kissed him.
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NEW YORK CITY. MERCY HOSPITAL. MIDDAY.
Mairym was just putting the last of her things into her bag when Brian entered her hospital room.
"Brian, what the hell are you -"
"What did I tell you?" She rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Cassidy; what the hell are you doing here?" he stood with a smug smile on his face before answering.
"El asked me to pick you up." he replied, more interested in the gum he was chewing than the conversation or the person he was having it with.
"Ok, what the hell is going on? I don't see him for two days and he doesn't even come to take me home? What the hell is up with him?"
"First; bring it down. Second, grab your shit and let's go, time is money!" he said and walked out of the room. She picked up her bag and huffed out behind him.
A HALF HOUR LATER...
"Where the hell are we going?" Mairym whined as she looked out the window from the back seat of Brian's escalade.
"He wanted me to bring you to him." Brian answered, never taking his eyes from the road.
"Well, where the hell is he?" he sighed at how shrill and annoying her voice was.
"You'll see when we get there." He said and kept driving.
After a while, they arrived at a Howard Johnson's near JFK airport in Queens. Brian parked the car and got out, opening the back door for her.
"Elliot's here?" she asked, looking at the hotel in disgust.
"Let's go!" he said and put his shades on then slammed the car door when she got out with her bag.
Once inside, they walked through the lobby, to the elevators and went up to the third floor. When they got to the room Brian was looking for, he stopped to open the door and motioned for her to go in. She entered and was surprised to see Elliot sitting on one of the double beds. There was a ton of luggage crowding the tiny space, leaving barely enough room to get around. Brian stood in the doorway.
"Elliot, what the hell is going on?" he ignored her and looked over to Brian.
"Thanks man." Brian tossed him the room key.
"No problem, I'll wait downstairs." He said before stepping out and shutting the door behind him.
"Okay, what is this?" Mairym demanded. "…and, why is our luggage here?" Elliot stared at her with cold eyes; his beautiful blues now steely gray.
"It's not our luggage, it's your luggage."
"What are you talking about?"
"You lied to me." he stated as he got up from the bed and walked over to where she stood. The color drained from her face as her mind scrambled thinking how she would fix this.
"Lied to you? I don't know what you're-"
"Save it! I know that the baby wasn't mine!" how the fuck did he find that out? She wondered
"I-"
"YOU WERE FOUR MONTHS ALONG! I never even touched you until three months ago!"
"Elliot, I don't know where you got you information from, but I would ne-" he wasn't buying any of it.
"You tried to pin another man's baby on me all to keep me from fixing things with my wife!"
"I didn't know!" she cried. She would tell whatever lie she needed to avoid what she knew was coming.
"Bullshit! You set me up!"
"Just let me explain" she begged.
"I'm done listening to you! You were willing to let me give up everything when you knew that I didn't want this and you knew that that kid wasn't mine!"
"So, what? You go running back to that bitch now like a lost pu-" Before she could finish he had wrapped his hand around her neck and slammed her against the wall.
"You will never be even a tenth of the woman Olivia is!" he seethed. She saw the rage in his eyes and knew that it would be a good idea to just be quiet. "I am done with you!" he said before releasing her and walking away, toward the door.
"Where am I supposed to go?"
"The room is paid up for a month. You're a crafty girl, you'll figure something out by then!" he spat and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. She stood staring at the door, anger oozing from every pore in her body. She wasn't even concerned about the child she'd just lost two days prior; that was nothing more than the result of an ecstasy induced slip-up with a stranger in a club bathroom. But it had also been her way in; attaching her to the man she had wanted since she met him.
"DAMN YOU DEAD LITTLE BASTARD!" she cursed out loud to no one, then screaming as she snatched the lamp from the nearby table and hurled it across the room, breaking it against the wall.
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SANTA MONICA BEACH. EARLY EVENING
Olivia's POV
We did end up getting out of my suite that day and ended up driving to Santa Monica where we spent the day frolicking on the beach like two kids. Trevor nearly gagged on his tongue when he saw me in the pale pink string bikini I wore. And now, as the sun was setting, we walked along the pier through the amusement park, him carrying the giant teddy bear he had just won for me while I ate cotton candy.
"Today was nice." I said, smiling as we continued our stroll.
"Just nice?"
"No, more like beautiful…I haven't had this much fun in a long time." I said, tearing off a piece of cotton candy and reaching up to put it to his mouth as we stopped. He stared down at me as I slipped it in between his lips and he took my hand in his and kissed my palm, never breaking contact with my eyes as he slowly sucked the sticky sweetness from my fingertips. The sensation went straight to my pussy and I bit my lip, squeezing my thighs together as I felt myself begin to throb and grow wet. Suddenly, he leaned in to kiss me, his hand in my hair as he took my lips sweetly with his own. I was in flat shoes and had to stand on my toes to reach him but when our lips connected there on the pier, the setting sun as our backdrop and a soft breeze gently blowing my hair around my face, it was magical! We stood there like that, enveloped in that kiss, that beautiful, perfect kiss for what seemed like an eternity, but was in fact, just mere moments but when he finally pulled away, I felt cheated that it was over.
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NEW YORK CITY, A DOWNTOWN BAR.
Elliot and Brian sat at the bar knocking back tequila shots; actually, Elliot was knocking back shots while Brian was still sipping on his first beer of the night. He had never been much of a drinker and figured that with the mood Elliot was in, he'd need to very sober tonight.
"I can't believe I fell for the oldest trick in the book!"
"You tried to do the right thing, in the end, that's all that matters."
"But at what expense?" Elliot questioned just as his phone began ringing. He quickly picked it up from its place on the bar and answered it. "Stabler."
"Hey man, long time no hear; it's Mike!" the husky voice greeted from the other end.
"Hey brother. What's goin on?"Elliot was happy to hear the voice of his old friend from his NYPD days.
"Well that's the thing. I'm down here at the pier with the kids and I'm lookin at your wife, not even 50 feet away from me with some guy's tongue down her throat. Now maybe my eyes are goin bad but he don't look like you to me!" Elliot could feel his blood literally begin to boil as his face turned bright red. Brian noticed this and was instantly curious about who was on the other end of the phone."
"What?! You must be mistaken, Liv's not in California." Brian hung his head, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and middle finger as he squeezed his eyes shut.
"I think you're mistaken brother. I'm lookin right at her, gorgeous as ever! And that body; Ohhhhh man! You are one lucky sonofabitch Stabler… or were one lucky sonofabitch! I didn't know you two were having problems."
"We're not. Mike I gotta go!" Elliot said and hung up before Mike could respond. "She's in California, isn't she?" he asked without looking at Brian.
"Yeah."
"Since when?"
"A few days ago. What did Mike say?"
"Nothing. Just that my wife is At Santa Monica pier practically fucking some guy on the boardwalk!" he picked up the bottle of tequila and angrily hurled it at the back wall, causing it to shatter. All eyes in the bar were suddenly on him.
"Stabler, what the fuck are you doin?!" The bartender yelled.
"I…I'm sorry, I…" Brian took his money clip from his pocket and peeled of a couple hundred dollar bills, putting them on the bar.
"That should cover it Sam; he doesn't know what he's doing. He's drunk." He said, pulling Elliot from the barstool.
"Yeah, well get his drunk ass out of here!" Sam yelled as he took the money from the bar. "You're banned for a week, asshole!" he yelled as Brian led Elliot out the door.
As they drove home in silence, Elliot looked over at Brian.
"Who is he?"
"Who's who?"
"Don't shit me, who's the guy she's seeing?"
"I don't know."
"Bullshit! Alex knows, so you know, who is he?"
"You really think Al is gonna spill Liv's secrets to me of all people? Knowing that I'd turn right around and tell you? This is the first I'm hearing about a guy, El I swear!" Brian continued driving as they sat in silence. After a moment, he heard what sounded like weeping and turned to look at Elliot.
"Are you crying?"
"What? No, I think it's the tequila coming out."
"Of your eyes?"
"Man, just drive!" Brian shrugged his shoulders and put his eyes back on the road. After a moment, he heard the weeping again but this time it was louder and when he turned to look, Elliot did nothing to try and hide it.
"El?"
"What if she's already had sex with him?"
"El, come on, Liv's not like that."
"I hurt her Brian! Women do crazy things when they're hurting; or looking for revenge." He started to sob in a high-pitched squeal as his face contorted into an ugly frown. Brian was now extremely uncomfortable.
"Aw come on man!" he said as he awkwardly patted Elliot's shoulder, twice while trying to keep his eyes on the road. "So she kissed him…so what? Liv loves you, and there is no way that she let that guy go any further than her lips!"
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LOS ANGELES. TREVORS HOTEL SUITE
He stood in the shower, arms outstretched, his palms pressed against the walls on either side of him while Olivia was on her knees in front of him, her lips sliding back and forth on his huge shaft, giving him the best blowjob he'd ever had in his life! It took everything in him to not scream out loud, her mouth felt so good around him! Instead he gave deep, guttural moans and sucked in his breath through clenched teeth; if it were possible to die from pleasure, this was definitely the way to go! He felt that familiar twitch in his balls and he knew that he was going to explode!
"Olivia….Oh god, Olivia!" his eyes were rolling backwards as she took her mouth off of him and stroked him with both hands. He came hard and she allowed him to shoot all over her breasts, planting a kiss to his tip when he finally stopped coming and that drove him over the edge. He quickly pulled her up and attacked her mouth with his own, his tongue deep inside as if he were trying to inhale her soul. If he lived a hundred lifetimes, he would NEVER be able to get enough of this woman!
.
Olivia's POV
The next few days flew by quickly; way quicker than either of us wanted. We had spent the past week together making love and getting to know all there was to know about one another. I was still unsure as to what Trevor's place would be or could be in my life. I kept thinking that it was way too soon to even be considering such things but I couldn't deny that I had grown strong feelings; it just felt right being in his arms. It was our last night together in LA; I still had 5 days left of my vacation but he had to get back to Chicago and would be taking the red-eye out late tonight.
We were lying in bed under the covers, my naked body on top of his, my head on his chest listening to his heart beating as he played with my hair and we reveled in the afterglow of our lovemaking.
"Tonight you leave; then what?" I softly wondered aloud.
"It's whatever you want it to be." He replied just as softly.
"I don't understand." I said as I lifted my head to look at him; resting my chin on my hands.
"Olivia, call me a fool or crazy, even naive, but what I knew the night we met, being with you this week, like this has made me even more sure."
"Sure of what?"
"Sure that I love you Olivia!" I felt like the wind had just been knocked out of me, but in a good way; but in the kind of good way that scares you shitless and makes your mouth dry and your knees week. It's a good thing I was lying down!
"Trevor, you can't mean that."
"I do mean it. I mean it more than I've ever meant anything in my life. I'm a man who has always known exactly what he wants, and what I want is you!"
"Trevor…my life…me, everything is a mess right now! I don't even know if it's right for us to be here, together like this."
"That's what your head says, but what is your heart telling you?" I inhaled a sharp breath as I felt tears sting my eyes.
"My heart betrayed me when it led me to fall in love with a man who would break it. I don't really trust my heart anymore."
"Even so, what does it say?"
"It's torn. Even after the way Elliot hurt me…I still love him. But, then suddenly, there's you and there's this…connection that's so strong and I don't understand it but it's like kismet."
"I feel exactly the same way!"
"But it's not that simple for me. I don't know if this is my broken heart just wanting to feel better but for some reason, since Chicago, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you.
"Every day; every night. Olivia, I'd been going crazy trying to forget you but I couldn't; not one detail, I could even still smell your perfume. You got to me in a way that no woman has ever gotten to me before. I'm not naïve; I know what I'm up against, I know that your heart still belongs to him but I'm asking for a chance to make it mine! I know it's selfish to ask this of you right now but I feel like if I'm not a little selfish now, I'll miss my chance!" she sat up, straddling his waist.
"I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet."
"That's because you're over-thinking it. We don't need to put terms or conditions on it, we just need to be; throw caution to the wind and whatever happens, happens."
And if whatever happens doesn't happen in your favor?"
"I'll be devastated but at least I'll know for sure. But, I can't spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if' and kicking myself for letting the most amazing woman I've ever known just walk out of my life without even trying to hold on to her!"
"Trevor, this is crazy, how would we even…I'm in New York, you're in Chicago!"
"Planes, trains and automobiles…" I bit my lip and smiled as I looked down at him looking up at me, seeing nothing but adoration in his eyes.
"That simple, huh?"
"That simple. And if you need more, I'll make New York my home."
"I couldn't let you do that." I said as I caressed his face, slowly beginning to rock my hips against him.
"You couldn't stop me." he said as he put his hand to the back of my neck and gently pulled me down to face him, skimming my lips with his before putting me on my back and nestling himself between my thighs.
"I'm in love with you, Olivia Benson." He was staring into my eyes as he pushed himself inside me; my mouth gaped open and I gasped at the intrusion. "And I will go through whatever I have to go through to make you mine." He began slowly thrusting as I moaned beneath him.
Later that night as he prepared to leave, I gave him my answer.
"I want to try this. This connection is too strong to ignore."
"You mean it?"
"I do. But I need a little time."
"How much time?"
"I don't know; a week, maybe? I just…I need to go into this with a clear mind." My eyes were now wet with tears. "I think I might be falling in love with you too…no, I know I am." We were both in tears at this point and he had the biggest smile on his face. "But I'm scared because it feels like it's happening too fast and I don't wanna be hurt again; and the last thing I want is to hurt you! So I just need a little space to get my head together before we jump into this. Is that okay?"
"That's more than ok." He said and pulled me into his arms. We agreed that in one week, he would meet me in New York and we'd let things take their own course.
I spent the remainder of my vacation wandering around LA taking in the sites, doing all the cheesy, tourist things; the Hollywood sign, the walk of fame, studio tours; all of it bored me to death! I missed Trevor and everything in this city reminded me of him. I had no idea what I was about to jump into but I knew that I had to give it a try, not just for me but for Trevor. He was willing to risk getting his heart broken, I had laid all my cards on the table and he knew exactly where I stood when it came to Elliot; I loved him but I didn't want to be with him. But what if that changed?
I flew back to Home to New York and I felt hopeful. I would be seeing Trevor in two days when my week was up and I was feeling pretty confident about us. As soon as my plane landed, I had enough time to go home, shower and change to make it to Alex and Brian's rehearsal dinner. I had missed the actual rehearsal due to a delay with my flight but was looking forward to the dinner and catching up with her and Casey; there was so much to tell them both!
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NEW YORK CITY. REHEARSAL DINNER
Olivia's POV
That evening, I arrived at Alex and Brian's apartment for their rehearsal dinner party. As soon as I entered the apartment, I was greeted in the expansive foyer by Alex and Casey who proceed to hastily grab me by either arm and pull me aside.
"What the…"
"Don't talk, just listen." Casey instructed in a hushed tone.
"Oka-" I began
"Shhh!" Alex chimed in. "Elliot's here!
"What?"
"I totally forgot about the whole best friend/best man thing and Brian didn't uninvite him…slick bastard!"
"What do you wanna do?" Casey asked
"What do you mean what do I wanna do? This is Alex' wedding rehearsal dinner! I will not be run off by Mr. Can't keep it in his pants!"
"She is so brave!" Alex said to Casey. "But, you don't have to be, say the word and he's out of here!"
"Al, its Brian's wedding too" I reasoned. "Nobody is throwing anybody out; I can handle it. Thanks for the heads up, but I'm fine!" I assured them and walked off to greet the other guests.
Later that night I was standing out on the terrace, enjoying the beautiful spring night, when suddenly, Elliot was beside me, he stood quiet momentarily before speaking.
"Beautiful night, huh?" it was indeed. 64 degrees, clear sky, it couldn't get any better than that,
"It's cold!" I said icily, without looking at him and moved away.
"Have you been doing ok?" he tried again.
"Why? Should I not be?" he sighed.
"How long is this gonna go on?"
"Until I stop hating you." I answered matter-of-factly.
"Liv, come on, I don't think you mean that." he said, touching my hand. I quickly pulled it away.
"Then you need to think again." I said while giving him a glare so cold, it sent shivers up his spine. He swallowed hard. "By the way, how's Mairym?"
"I wouldn't know; we're not together anymore." I tried to hide my complete surprise.
"So soon?"
"Olivia, you know I never wanted Mairym." I shook my head, obviously amused.
"Not gonna touch it…too easy!"
"Touché." He grinned as he stepped closer to me "I see you're moving on." I was momentarily distracted by the scent of his cologne. I always loved it on him, but right now, it was bringing back too many memories.
"What?" I asked, looking up into his eyes; his perfect and beautiful blue eyes that I was lost in from the very moment we first met.
"I know about the new guy."
"Oh, I see. You think that there's someone else in my life and you wanna know how serious it is; that about right?"
"I think I deserve that much."
"You deserve?" I asked, incredulously. "If I gave you what you deserve, you'd be a eunuch!" I spat angrily then walked away, but stopped. "And for the record, my personal life is on a need-to-know basis, and you do not need to know!" and I stormed off, going back inside just as Brian was coming out.
ELLIOT AND BRIAN
"Did you talk to her?" Brian was anxious to know.
"You could say that; what do you know about this Trevor Langan?"
"about as much as you do. Of course, Alex knows everything but she ain't talking." Brian answered. Elliot grew quiet for a moment...
"I've been replaying the last few months over and over in my head; I made the biggest mistake of my life!"
"El, man, don't do this to yourself."
"Why not? I'm the one who made the choice and now I'm paying for it. Cas, I'm miserable without her; my life is hell because I lost the person who means the most to me in this world, and I did it by being stupid! ...if she moves on; I can't allow that to happen; I can't imagine her not loving me!" Brian put a hand on his shoulder.
"Come on. Let's go grab a beer!" he said and they walked back inside.
Olivia's POV
I entered the bathroom and shut the door, locking it behind me; leaning against it as I ran my hand through my hair and let out a deep breath, shutting my eyes. I never expected that seeing him would have such an effect on me; I've been trying so hard to get over the hurt, to get over the shame, to get over him.
I've never tried fooling myself; I love Elliot no matter what I might say, or do contrarily but I cannot live with what he's done. Maybe that makes me selfish or blind or downright stupid, I don't know. All I do know is that right now, my heart feels like it's going to explode! I hadn't seen him since that day in Chicago, months ago. He looks good; better…but maybe that's because I miss him so much. God, how I miss him! It's been five months since the last time we kissed, five months since the last time we made love…since I've woken up to his smile and until tonight, 5 months since I'd looked into those eyes and felt like I wanted to be lost in them again. I felt tears sting my eyes and quickly wiped them away; the pain he'd caused suddenly front and center and I remembered how that day, all I wanted to do was die and that Elliot was the one who made me feel that way. Everything had been perfect until then. Absolutely perfect I thought as somehow Trevor had, again crept his way into my mind. I still had no words to define this…thing I shared with Trevor, but it was strong and I was done trying to deny it. I needed it as much as I needed my next breath! I was easily falling in love with him. But, it's too soon. That, and the fact that I am still very much in love with my two-timing, soon-to-be ex husband!
"How the hell did you let your heart get you into this mess?" I asked myself out loud. Before composing myself and going back to the party.
Later that night, the guests had gone home and I was leaving to do the same when Alex stopped me at the door.
"It's still relatively early, let's go out tonight."
"I'm in!" Casey was always ready for fun.
"I'm out." I declined.
"Liiiiiiv!" Casey protested like a whiney child.
"Whaaaat?" I mocked. "I barely slept the entire time I was in L.A. and I'm jet lagged. The only place I'm going tonight is home to bed; have fun, I'll see you both tomorrow at the fitting."
"Fine! But tomorrow night…" Alex chimed in
"I promise, goodnight." The three of us shared a group hug before I left. Moments later, in the hall, the elevator finally arrived and I stepped inside, hitting the lobby button before leaning against the back wall as the doors started to close. Just before they could shut completely, a hand reached between them from outside and they re-opened. Elliot stepped on and I felt my pulse quicken.
"There are other elevators you know!" I reminded him as he pressed his floor. Why did he have to live in the same building as my best friend?
"Too late!" He said as the doors closed and he stood beside me on the back wall.
"So you live here?"
"Yep." We didn't make eye contact.
"How's that workin out for you?"
"You mean with your best friend hating my guts and giving me the evil eye every time she sees me?" I couldn't help but smile at the thought of Alex giving him the death stare.
"She is pretty good at holding grudges.
"You can say that again!" he agreed and suddenly, it was quiet between us as the elevator made its slow descent.
"How did we get here?" I asked.
"I don't know." He answered in a small, sorrowful voice. "I've been asking myself that question every day for 3 months." He finished then looked over at me before slowly reaching for my hand and touching my fingers with his so gently that I wondered if he even had. I felt a familiar nervousness inside my chest and just as I turned my head to look at him, the elevator stopped.
"This is me." he said as the doors opened. "Goodnight Liv." I swallowed the lump in my throat and croaked out a goodnight as he left the car. I stepped closer and sighed as the doors began closing again. Again, before they could completely shut there was that hand. The doors reopened and Elliot stood there between them, then without a word, his arm snaked around my waist and before I could protest, he pulled me close against his body and kissed me, there between the elevator doors; kissed me deeply and full of passion. I tried to pull away but his lips felt too good against my own, it had been too long and I had missed him so much and within seconds, I found my body relaxing against his, my lips giving into his kiss and returning it hungrily. I felt his strong arms lift me and before I knew it, he was carrying me down the hall to his apartment and I didn't protest.
We were both in a frenzy as we tore each other's clothes off and discarded them carelessly around his apartment. I missed him so much and just wanted him inside me as fast as possible. I was already so wet for him. Tears began falling the moment I felt him pushing himself inside me, not because he was hurting me but because being with him felt so right and when he began to thrust and looked down at me, I saw that there were tears in his eyes too. We cried the whole time we made love. It was beautiful and intense and every time he made me come, I loved him more! Deep down, I knew that I shouldn't be here with him like this, not after the way he'd hurt me, not with the feelings I had grown for Trevor, but I didn't care. All that mattered to me right now was being in Elliot's arms, being filled by him, loving him and feeling his love for me with everything he gave. Right here, right now, in this moment time had stopped and there was nothing but us; at least that's what I told myself and I almost believed it until that final climax; when I came it was so powerful that I felt it in my soul and the scream that I had been suppressing for the last hour finally tore from deep inside me and I cried his name again and again, as if he were my God and I was calling on his mercy! Only, the name that spilled from my lips wasn't Elliot's, it was Trevor's!
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