Chapter Seven

One day, Olin decided to show me the castle library.

The shelves of books lined the walls and rose all the way to the ceiling.

They were beautiful. They had a musty smell, the smell of something ancient and wise.

Olin grinned. "Like it?"

I searched for words. "I did not know so many books existed."

"I thought you would. I don't usually like books but some of them aren't too bad. Which one do you want to borrow?"

What if I borrowed a book and lost it? Just thinking about how much each book costtook my breath away. "I would rather look at them in here."

"Yes, but which one?"

"You decide."

"All right." Olin stood on his tiptoes and reached for a small red-covered volume on the fourth shelf. "This book tells you what your name means."

I did not understand. "How can a name mean something?"

Olin stared at me for a moment.

"Look," he said. He opened the book, flipped through the pages and read, "The name Olin means torch, also used by the early inhabitants of our kingdom to refer to any bright light that shone in the darkness." He put down the book. "My mother named me Olin because she said I was the light in her darkness." He frowned for a moment. "What do you think she meant by that?"

I wondered what darkness the queen had to battle. Perhaps, the illness that eventually caused her death?

"Maybe she was unhappy sometimes and you made her happy?"

Olin frowned. "My mother was not unhappy."

I did not argue.

"I want to find your name," Olin said. He flipped through the pages. "There!"

I was getting curious. "Let me see."

"No. I will read it," Olin said grandly. He cleared his throat. "The name Ellis means kind." He looked up at me.

"That's all?"

He nodded.

I smiled. Well. Perhaps, my name's explanation wasn't quite as long. After all, I wasn't royal. Still, I was satisfied with it.

Can we find Rianne?"

We did. Rianne meant advice or counsel. It wasn't a bad name to have although I didn't think it fit. Rianne had never given me advice in her life.

"I'm bored," said Olin. "Let's go outside."

The next important thing to happen was a month later. It was autumn and the bright colored leaves were everywhere. That day, Olin and I collected a whole basket of them. We brought them home and began to spread them across Olin's writing-desk, arranging them into different shapes and patterns.

"I've never done this before," Olin said in wonder. "I like it. I shall order the servants to bring in leaves every day so we can play with them."

"No, Olin. All the joy is in finding them yourself. You spoil it, if you leave it to the servants."

"You just don't want to give them extra work." He thought for a moment. "Because you are a good person."

That month, Olin and I had begun to discuss, slowly and gradually, what made a person good. It was an entirely new concept to him. He had been tutored in letters and mathematics, not ethics. Well-behaved, he knew. Good person, he had never heard of.

"Well, thank you. You're not a bad one yourself," I said.

"I'm spoiled," Olin said positively. "All the servants say so behind my back. They think I can't hear them. I can."

I didn't comment on the servants' opinion. "Your father won't allow them to say anything to your face, so what are they to do?"

Tottles, the butler, came in with a message. "Lady Ellis, there is a young lady who insists that she must see you immediately."

A visitor for me? This had never happened before.

"Um…well, of course. Have her brought in."

"But Ellis you're spending time with me now," Olin said.

I put my hands on my hips. "And you would let a young lady wait with an important message wait while you play? For shame. Let us receive her politely."

Olin pouted but made no further protest. I gathered the leaves in my arms and prepared to place them back into the basket, when the door opened again. A young woman in an old shawl entered, looking down and holding her rather muddy skirt as she stepped over the threshold.

My heart suddenly leaped in my chest.

The young woman looked up. I let go of the leaves without realizing it.

"Rianne!"

Rianne smiled tiredly. Only when I threw my arms around her, did I realize that she was with child.

I drew back, studied her belly, looked at her. She nodded.

I smothered a sob. "Where is Angus?"

Rianne swallowed. "I left him."

Chapter Eight

I did not let her explain further. It was clear that she was starving and could barely stand. I gave her my bed, a nightgown and ordered that the servants bring hot soup with vegetables, warm bread and fresh fruit. Rianne would have all of the best.

Rianne devoured the soup and bread as I had never seen her do before. When she had satisfied her hunger, she began asking questions about father. Had I visited him since coming to the palace? How was he?

I've sent father a maid to keep house and I visit him every few weeks. He still drinks as heavily as ever." I sat down on the enormous bed and slid under the large blanket, so that we were sharing it as we used to do when we were children.

"So that is the thing which has worried me most up until now," I said. "But now that I've seen you…why didn't you tell me you and Angus weren't getting along?"

"It's more than just not getting along." Rianne wound a strand of her long wavy dark hair around her finger. She seemed reluctant to talk. Once she spoke, however, her words came fast. "The first time, I discovered that Angus had…been with another woman, I was devastated. I cried and beggedhim to tell me what I had done wrong to make him betray me in such a way."

Rianne hesitated. She pressed her lips together. She had the look in her eyes that always came when she was about to cry. But she didn't. I could see her trying to be strong, for now at least.

"Of course he said that it was all his fault and begged me to forgive him. So I did. I promised him that I wouldn't tell anyone, not even you. And for a while we were very happy."

Had they been happy? I couldn't imaginemyself being happy under the same circumstances. But Rianne had always been ready and willing to forgive others and put things behind her.

"The second time, it was a girl from a nearby farm. A neighbor came and told me. She said she felt it was her duty." Rianne gave a short dry laugh and shook her head. "She enjoyed telling me."

So Rianne had learned to laugh in order not to cry. Angus had taught her that.

Angus. He had seemed so kind when I had met him. He and Rianne had been so in love. I felt so heartsick for Rianne, so angry. Were there any men out there who did not disappoint?

"So you left."

"I realized that I would have to live with this…with him acting this way for the rest of my life. And I just couldn't."

"And you walked how many miles before someone took pity on you and gave you a ride?"

She didn't answer.

"Oh, Rianne." I leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

She stared straight ahead. "Don't pity me. I am tired of people pitying me."

"I'm not people, I'm your sister. And my pity for you is not quite as great as my admiration."

Rianne turned to me, quickly. The shell fell away in an instant and I could see that, for all of her independence, she still wanted to be told she did the right thing by the one person she looked up to. Tears shone in her eyes. "So you think I was right to leave him?"

That was a difficult one. When I had said that my admiration was great, I was complimenting her courage…not her correctness or wisdom in choosing to leave. How could I say if she was right? What if she had not made it to the palace? What if she had gotten lost or run out of money?

"Perhaps, you shouldn't have done it all alone in the way that you did…and with the weather so awful and you…well, not exactly fit for traveling."

Rianne looked down at her belly and smiled. "I think baby enjoyed the adventure."

"When you wrote, you didn't even tell me that you were expecting."

"I thought it might upset you."

The sob that I had smothered when I first saw her rose up in my throat again.

It did upset me but it would have been better to receive the news in writing before seeing her.

Never mind that though. She was my sister. If she had something wonderful that I could never have, I would learn to be happy for her.

"I am all right," I said. "After all, what I thought was my greatest grief…ended up saving me."

Or was that true? For the first time it occurred to me that even if I had hadn't made an agreement with that creature, I might have still been pardoned simply because I became Olin's friend. And friends of the prince do not go to dark dungeons. But how could I have known it would turn out this way?

Rianne yawned.

"Go to sleep," I ordered. "Not another word 'till morning."

Rianne happily submitted. I watched her sleeping for a moment. She looked so young. I lay down next to her on the enormous bed, hoping that perhaps, from this moment on, I could protect her.