4
Darkness Into Light
Upstairs, Belle was having a bit of a dilemma.
She glanced over at her nightgown on the bed wondering if she should even bother wearing it. Then she pulled it on.
And their night at the drive-in couldn't have been more perfect. She still couldn't believe how close they did get to making love in the car, something they'd never done before. It just didn't feel like the right place to do so though other couples would probably have a different opinion.
The only downside was that no matter how passionately they made love, it would never bear fruit.
She sat down on the edge of the bed and burst into tears.
"Dammit...it was a perfect night...and I'm ruining it...RUINING IT!"
She pounded her legs with her fists, wishing she would just stop thinking about it but sooner or later something always reminded her of her failure as a woman. Pull yourself together Belle! You still have the option to adopt and you and Rumple can give the child you choose the most loving home in all of Storybrooke!
Rumple leaned a bit more heavily on his cane than was his wont as he came up the stairs to their bedroom. Despite the rather late hour, he was wide awake and looking forward to a long slow session of lovemaking with his wife. Where they could be assured of no interruptions by anyone, as well as comfort. He hated being made to feel awkward and he was by nature a private person, so making love in his Cadillac had been a mere fantasy, and like he had said to Bae, he was not a teenager to be ruled by hormones. Besides, waiting only heightend the moment and made it all the sweeter. And he also hoped to assuage Belle's fear that because of her condition, she was somehow less desirable. As she had said to him once when he became depressed about his limp, "Your leg is only one part of you. And sometimes the best teacups are chipped." That was as true for her as it was for him. He paused to rub some of the stiffness out of said leg before he turned the knob and entered the room.
When she heard the tapping of his cane on the floor, Belle was uneasy. Had he changed his mind?
"You ah...look tired, Rumple," she said nervously.
"No, I'm fine. It's just this bum leg of mine, it got stiff sitting in the car for so long," he answered, his eyes twinkling naughtily. "Among other things."
"I'm sorry about that...I forgot your leg acts up when..." she trailed off guiltily. "We did...ah get a bit carried away..."
He held up a finger. "Hey . . .no apologies . . .if I recall . . .I kissed you first." He walked over to the bed and sat down next to her.
"We're just lucky that son of ours didn't see...or anyone else for that matter. It's just that...we really haven't had much time for each other since..." She sighed. "This isn't what I wanted to happen when we got home...me ruining the mood with all my baggage."
He cupped her chin in his hand. "I want you to listen to me, okay? What's happened with you hasn't changed how I feel about you. I didn't marry you for an alliance, to have my children and heirs, like we did back in our old realm. I married you because I couldn't stand the thought of going another day without you beside me. I married you because I love YOU, and that shall not change, not ever, because you are my heart, my light . . .and like a certain lady said to me once . . .sometimes the best teacups are chipped."
"I'm more than chipped, Rumple...I'm broken..." she whispered. "And I hate feeling like this!"
His hand caressed her cheek. "And I was broken too, dearie. And in more ways than one. I was a monster, the beast of the fairytales, cursed into darkness . . . I had lost my heart and then you came and found it . . . and found the man I was and you fixed the broken places. And broken or not, you still had the courage to love a beast. Don't you see? Love isn't about perfect . . .love is about making imperfect people heroes in their own eyes . . ."
"You were never a monster...never!"
"Wasn't I? My own son feared me . . .but not as much as I feared myself. I could feel myself slipping away, bit by bit . . .and the shadows swallowing me whole . . .erasing the spinner and putting the Dark One in his place . . . but you were the flicker of light in my ocean of darkness, Belle. You called me back, made me fight against the darkness . . ."
"And you...you made me believe I could be so much more than a man's ornament and brood mare. I came to your castle, not knowing what to expect. You had a bit of a temper at times with me but that was the only darkness you allowed me to see and even then it was restrained. You gave me plenty of reasons to beat you with my broom or slam your nose in a book but you were reaching out and thankfully I was able to realize it..." she recalled. "Then after the curse took us all away...I was just a lonely reading teacher who thought love was like her books...everything had to be perfect that I forgot everything I learned from being with you. And sometimes I still find myself forgetting I don't NEED to be perfect for you...because I don't WANT you to be perfect for me."
He chuckled. "Well, you always were a most perceptive woman . . .though I probably deserved a beating more times than not back then." His fingers gently wiped the traces of tears from her cheeks. "I thought I was doomed to walk alone in darkness, but you showed me the way back home. Now you walk through your own darkness, Belle. But I can be your light this time. . .if you'll let me. You were always the brave one . . .now find your courage again . . .and just listen to your heart and I shall bring you home . . ." Then he kissed her, putting everything he felt into it, and the bond between them blazed anew.
She felt like a ship lost at sea until its crew saw the beam from the lighthouse tower, guiding it back to shore...to home. And that was the light she saw in her husband's eyes, and felt in his kiss.
As on their wedding night, she would let him lead the dance though this time she was not the inexperienced bride whose only knowledge of lovemaking came from books or listening to her friends' gossip though the latter sounded more like a pornographic magazine at times.
Her friends called her old-fashioned, called them old-fashioned but she didn't care. While her friends' lovers sometimes treated them like a piece of meat, her husband made her feel like a goddess.
And tonight was no different.
Rumple gently broke off his kiss, his eyes almost amber with the emotions she aroused in him. "Give me a minute," he muttered, and shrugged off his pullover. Then his hands went to unbutton his shirt beneath it.
She gently pushed them aside. "Let me do that."
"You wish to . . .unbutton the Dark One?" he teased. "Be careful, dearie . . ."
"At least you're not wearing all that leather." She began to undo the buttons. "Not that I minded you wearing it." she grinned. "And sometimes I think you wore it tighter just to tease me . . ."
"I might have . . ." he purred, quivering slightly as her hands worked their way down his shirt. "You certainly couldn't take your eyes off me when I wore it . . ."
"And so did some of those women you made deals with!" she huffed. "And of course you HAD to turn on the charm with them while I was looking..."
She jabbed her finger into his chest. "Trying to make me jealous...rather beastly of you! Those were the days when I wanted to slam more than your nose in a book!"
"But that's all it was, dearie, a facade . . .none of them ever loved me . . .or ever would . . ." He eyed her askance. "For who could ever love a beast?"
"Someone who knows he has love in his heart..." she whispered.
"And none of those other women ever could see that. Only you . . .because you looked with your heart, not with your eyes. And saw something there that wasn't there before." He said, capturing her hand and bringing it to his lips and kissing the tips of her fingers.
"I love you, Rumple...I always have..."
"And I love you . . .always and forever . . .out of darkness into light . . .and all things seen and unseen . . ."
"Why does...tonight feel so much like our wedding night again?"
He paused in his slow honeyed seduction. "Perhaps because, like then, we are rediscovering ourselves? Our love has grown . . . just like we have."
"And there are no more curses hanging over our heads..."
"No. We are free . . .to just be ourselves . . ." He sucked in a breath as her hand tickled him in a sensitive spot. "My wicked brilliant beloved!" Then he giggled, a sound rich with joy and love, deeper than the one he had perfected as the Dark One.
"Very..." She leaned forward and nibbled on his earlobe. "Now...did I hear you complain that I don't scratch you behind the ears..."
"Umm . . .. not now . . ." he drawled.
"You make me wicked, my beast but I wouldn't want it any other way..."
"Neither would I," he replied huskily, and kissed her neck leisurely.
"And you make me burn..." she murmured. "And I don't want anything to put me out...not now..."
He smiled. "Love's fire burns hotter than anything under the sun . . ." His hands moved to caress her shoulders. He could feel the tension in her body melting away as he touched her. "That's good, dearie . . .because I couldn't even if I wanted to . . . and I don't . . . "
"We've got all night..."
" . . .and all of our lives . . ." he growled gently, nibbling her collarbone delicately, with tantalizing little nips.
She found that little sensitive spot on the side of his neck and pressed her lips to it, leaving a small mark.
A smile came to her lips as she thought about how he would try to cover it up in the morning...
After all, they had to keep up appearances.
He turned his head slightly, and their eyes met. "Minx! You did that on purpose!"
"Oh and you didn't on our third date? Do you know how many shades of makeup I had to use to cover mine up? Over a dozen and none of them worked."
"The mark of the beast," he chuckled wolfishly. "I hope no one was talking about it."
"Well...they may have said what you just did...but I wore it proudly...and I would again..."
" . . .a badge honorably won . . . in love's first skirmish . . ." he quipped, resuming his love play, knowing instinctively what to do to make her feel wanted and adored.
During the curse she'd been on a few dates...all of them she wanted to forget, especially the one with Dr Whale that involved too much vodka and a desperate attempt to get her in bed and when all of them tried to be intimate with her, she always held back
"What are you saving it for ?" they always asked. All those years she never knew the answer but on the very same sofa where their son was now dozing she had her answer when Rumple kissed her and the spark was ignited.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, telling him without words what she needed him to do now."Sometimes I wish I did have magic..."
"You do, sweetheart," he crooned, causing his pants to vanish with a mere thought. "You have the magic of a loving heart . . .and that, dearie, is the greatest magic of all."
She swatted his bare backside. "You cheated!" Then she pinched his cheek for good measure.
"So sue me . . ." he yelped. They fell onto the bed.
"Oh I will..if you don't get this damned nightgown off.."
"Am I allowed to use magic, Lady Gold?" he queried, wriggling his fingers. "Or would you prefer I play the Scottish reaver and just rip it off?"
"Well .. you put it that way..." Since it was one she bought she wouldn't mind it getting ruined. "Rip at your leisure. I've always thought there was a bit of a Scot in you and one of these days my Rumple...you will be wearing a kilt. That is not a request," she added with a giggle.
He grinned naughtily. "Indeed, my bonnie lass . . . an' then ye can ask me what I've got under it, aye?" he deepened his brogue till it mimicked the Highlanders he'd heard on TV.
"I already know what you've got under it, my sexy beast..." She'd always loved his accent and hearing him speak with a true Scottish brogue only added more fuel to her fire."Now get this gown off me..."
"Aye, and soon ye'll be reapin' the reward o' it, love . . ." and then he set his hands on the bodice of her nightgown and tore it down the middle. "Well, they dinna make 'em like they used to . . . lucky for us . . ."
"That's better...now we can finish what we started..."
"And then some!" he agreed. Then he proceeded to make love to her with the infinite skill and grace of a master spinner, loving her without reservation, as he had on their wedding night . . .and once again he felt true love's magic awaken and weave through him, and he let himself be a conduit for it and fill them with its healing splendor.
Together they would pay its price but this time when all was said and done, they would gladly pay it over and over again. Only it didn't start out that way at first...
Page~*~*~*~*~Break
A month later:
"Oh gods!" Rumple groaned, leaning against the side of the commode as he struggled to recover from the bout of nausea that seemed to come from nowhere.
"Rumple...are you all right in there?" Belle asked worriedly. She'd already been in the bathroom half an hour earlier doing the very same thing.
Must have been those damned mussels we ate last night . . .he thought, as his stomach did flipflops. "Not really, dearie . . ." which was an understatement.
She entered the bathroom in time to see him vomiting again and felt nauseated herself.
She grabbed the trashcan and kneeled on the floor, vomiting into it. "W...What...oooooo..."
" . . . probably something we ate . . .at that damned restaurant . . .ought to sue them or something . . ." he moaned. "Need to make up an antidote . . . as soon as I can quit doing this!"
"I feel like I am literally throwing my insides up!"
"You and me both," he gritted out.
"Oh God...Bae...we need to make sure he's okay.."
"Yes . . . and you need to call the school . . . tell them you won't be in today . . ." Rumple gulped. "I'll check on him . . . in a bit . . ." He puked again.
"I..If...I can get off the...oooohhhh!"
When she was finished she lay her head on the cold floor. "Worse than the...damned hangovers we had after...our sixth date..."
They had been out to a new restaurant that had opened outside of Storybrooke and it had gotten rave reviews in the paper. Eager to try it, they'd all gone there last night, a little family dinner, and tried some mussels in a spicy sauce and Bae had eaten Firecracker Shrimp, made with Chinese chili peppers.
"Don't remind me," he hissed, and went and wet a wash cloth and handed it to her. He then dampened one for himself and used it.
"Ohhh that feels wonderful..." she said, rubbing the washcloth over her face and neck.
Rumple found the nausea was easing and said, "Okay . . .let me go check on our son . . . see if he's got anything wrong with him . . . be back in a few."
Grabbing his cane, he tottered across the room and down the hall to where Bae slept with Major.
Bae came out of his room and frowned when he saw his father's pale face.
"I heard you guys clear down here. What's wrong?"
" . . .I think something was off with those mussels last night. Your mom and I are throwing up our insides. How about you? I'm surprised you aren't after eating those Chinese bonfire peppers or whatever they were with that shrimp."
He smirked. "I've eaten things a lot more spicy than that and never puked."
"You must have a cast iron stomach then," Rumple snorted. "Would you mind . . .making us some tea? I'm not going into work today for obvious reasons."
"Okay...but don't puke on me!" he teased.
"You don't hurry up, smartass, and I will!" his father threatened lightly.
"I'm goin!" he cried and ran downstairs.
Rumple made his way slowly back to the bedroom.
"Jeeze, last night they were peeing like racehorses, today they're puking their guts out. What gives, Major?" Bae asked the dog.
Major whined, clearly as puzzled as his master. Then he sat down in front of the pantry and looked hopefully at Bae. That was where the biscuits were stored.
And Bae, unable to help himself teased them by singing the song for the overactive bladder commercial every time his father or mother made a mad dash for the bathroom.
"Okay, buddy here ya go!" He grabbed a biscuit out of the pantry and held it out for the dog to grab.
Major took it gently from him and swallowed it in one gulp. Then he went and picked up his empty food dish and showed it to the boy. Breakfast? his eyes implored.
"Coming right up!" Bae filled his food dish and washed out his water bowl. He grabbed a bottle of Evian out of the refrigerator and poured some of it into the bowl.
The shepherd did a happy dance while Bae got his food and water, his nails clicking on the tile.
"Let me get them some tea and we'll go check on 'em...okay?"
Major woofed softly and then went to eat while Bae put the kettle on and got chamomile tea out of the tea caddy. He also filled up glasses of ice water and put a small amount of sweetener in them.
This is worse than the time they were hung over, he thought.
Only that day his father asked for black coffee not tea.
Or he was . . . though that had been just before the curse broke, and he had found a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue in Gold's shop in a box and surreptitiously drank half of it, depressed and missing his friends who had died . . .and then said he wasn't feeling well and wanted to go home. He'd passed that off as a virus the next day and his father never knew about it.
When the tea was ready he poured it into their favorite cups and put it on a tray along with the glasses of water and carried it upstairs, a concerned Major at his heels.
Rumple and Belle were both in bed when he walked in, Belle having just hung up the phone with the school secretary.
"Oh thank you, honey," Belle said softly, taking her cup.
"You're welcome," her son replied. "Uh . . .do you think you'll be okay by yourselves? If not I could . . .stay home and take care of you," he offered hopefully. "I can make really good oatmeal. You guys need anything else...aspirin?"
"No . . .that will only make my stomach worse," Rumple shook his head.
"You have a potion I can try to make?"
He wasn't a magician like his father but he did pay attention when Rumple was working on potions. All you had to do was follow the instructions and choose the right ingredients. And Rumple had everything labeled in his potions cabinet.
"I do. You know where my potion journal is, right? In the lefthand drawer downstairs in my workstation in the basement," Rumple said. "Go down and follow the directions-carefully Bae, I don't want us blown to kingdom come because you didn't take the time to READ what I wrote-when it's done bring it back up here. And you can stay home . . . provided you weed the garden and pick the vegetables and clean up your room. It looks like a pigsty."
"Aww Papa," he whined, hating cleaning up his room. His room was what he called organized clutter.
"That's my offer, take it or leave it," Rumple said firmly. "Well?"
"I'll do it." He preferred being at home so he could make certain his parents were okay and the chores were just a small price to pay.
"All right. I'll call the school and tell them I need you home," he said. "So it'll be an excused absence. And I'm going to inspect your room later on . . . so no shoving things under the bed or in the closet," he said, wise to those tricks. "And if it's not done right. . . you'll do it over till it is."
"Are you gonna do the white glove test too?"
Belle chuckled. "Well, you did ask for it when you claimed you dusted the last time."
Rumple nodded. He had exacting standards for cleanliness, just like a military drill sergeant.
Bae rolled his eyes.
"Don't give me that, young man," Rumple scolded softly. "Do it right the first time and you won't need to do it a second time."
"Because my papa's OCD," his son muttered.
Belle was a bit too when it came to her books. Both of them made the mistake of putting them back in the wrong places and dealt with her wrath. It was mild but she made them redo her entire bookshelf until they remembered where every title belonged.
"Get, imp. The faster you make that potion, the quicker we'll feel better." Rumple urged. Then he sipped some water and lay back against the pillows.
Belle grabbed one of the ice chips out of her glass and started chewing on it.
"What are you doing that for?" her husband asked her.
"It'll keep me hydrated and sometimes I let it melt to help sooth my stomach. Try it."
He took an ice cube out of his own glass and let it dissolve, still feeling a bit queasy but his mouth was no longer dry.
Belle turned on her side and curled up beside him, barely able to keep her eyes open. She couldn't explain it but she found she was tired more often and so was he. The other day they both dozed off while they were reading. Then there was the constant need to use the bathroom and now they were both nauseated…. Their bond had grown stronger since that night they went to the drive-in and they shared each other's ailments, his leg problems being the only exception. She drifted off to sleep beside him and it wasn't long before he was asleep too.
Down in the basement Bae was hard at work on the potion his father asked him to make, grateful he'd overcome his dyslexia so that he could read the instructions and follow them to the letter. He smiled when he recalled the times he and Belle would be allowed in his father's workroom in the Dark Castle. Sometimes he would set his more important work aside and make up some silly concoctions for them to make together. One of them was a lotion that unfortunately turned Belle's hair purple for a day and another accidently turned Bae's skin into scales because he threw too much of the right ingredient in. The potion finished, Bae poured it into an empty bottle and went upstairs to find his parents asleep. He set the bottle on the nightstand and returned to his room to start cleaning it up knowing his father would inspect it as soon as he got up.
Rumple awoke first and jumped out of bed, needing to use the bathroom again and barely made it there in time. Maybe I better set up an appointment to have my prostate checked, he thought.
He had just finished up when Belle entered, needing to use the bathroom herself.
"You still queasy?" she asked him.
"No, you?"
"Not now. That potion works wonders." She kissed him. "We nearly slept half the day away and I'm famished."
He laughed. "So am I."
Bae was shocked when he walked into the kitchen and found his parents attacking the pantry and the refrigerator with a vengeance, making the most unusual concoctions to eat. They were doing that a lot lately too he'd observed and some of the foods they used to eat, they avoided like the plague.
"Papa….where's the meat on this?" Bae asked holding up a sandwich that had nothing else on it but ketchup…lots of it. "You already eat it or what?"
"No, that's how I'm going to eat it."
Bae grimaced. "Gross. Mama, are you putting buffalo sauce and ranch dressing on popcorn?"
"Yes. It's good."
Now he felt like he was going to throw up.
Page~*~*~*~~Break
The next morning they packed up to spend the weekend at the cabin. Rumple wanted to take Bae out on the lake for some fishing and there was a new walking trail that was the perfect exercise for Major. As she was packing the first aid kit Belle noticed that they were low on several important items and would make a trip to the pharmacy to stock up. Bae and Rumple would go to the grocery store to stock up on the food. She was picking up some bandages in the wound care aisle when she overheard one of the waitresses from Granny's speaking to another woman. "Throwing up every morning…mood swings…you missed your period….eating a lot…peeing a lot…you really should go to the doctor instead of using one of these home pregnancy tests."
Belle dropped the basket she was holding. The symptoms the woman was describing were happening to her in the last month and Rumple too the major difference being he couldn't miss a period. But…but they said I couldn't have a baby! She poked her head around the corner to see if the two women left then grabbed a home pregnancy test kit off the shelf and got in line at the checkout counter.
She was hoping news of her condition hadn't spread around Storybrooke. The couple wanted it to stay in the family but when she saw Mr. Clark giving her sympathetic looks while he was ringing up the sale she wanted to scream and find the loudmouth at the doctor's office who violated patient confidentiality. Then she was going to have Rumple slap a lawsuit on them so huge it would take their great-grandchildren to pay off.