MAY OR MAY NOT BE A TRIGGER FOR SOME. PLEASE BE CAUTIOUS. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Trevelyan took a deep breath and pushed the door to Cullen's office open. He stood at his desk, a few of the Inquisitions guards surround the desk with him as he talked to them about their plan of attack in the Arbor Wilds. Trevelyan silently shut the door behind her, leaning on the wall with her arms crossed as Cullen continued to speak with his men. She furrowed her brows and stared at the ground as she tried to think of how to speak to Cullen. It's been at least three months since they spoke directly, not including the stand off they had in the tavern a month and a half ago. She fixed her gaze on Cullen, waiting for him to finish up so she could get this stupid meeting over with. Why couldn't they just meet in the damn war room with the others? He knew she didn't want to deal with him.

Another way to piss me off. Trevelyan bit the inside of her cheek, narrowing her eyes at Cullen as he caught her gaze. She had to keep repeating in her head not to bite his head off until after his men left. She agreed to herself to be civil in front of others, keep the hateful remarks to herself and act like the Inquisitor. But seeing him continue to stare at her while he talked with his men, a gaze she hasn't seen on him since before Adamant Fortress, made her stomach churn.

"You are dismissed." Cullen spoke, standing up straight and nodding to his men as they left. The men left from the door Trevelyan walked through, Cullen shutting the door behind them as a loud sigh escaped his lips.

"It never ends." He leaned his forehead against the door, his eyes shutting.

"Did you need something, Commander?" Trevelyan tilted her head to the side to look at Cullen, her arms still crossed and her glare still cold. Cullen moved his head against the door to look at her, his lips slowly forming into a frown as he saw Trevelyan's glare.

"Yes...I owe you an explanation."

"It's kinda late now, don't you think?" Trevelyan pushed herself off of the wall and walked over to Cullen's desk, "You owed me one three months ago."

"I...I didn't want to believe those stories you told me—"

"So you sent a letter to my parents, which you know fully well I haven't spoken to in over a decade, asking them if these stories were true." Trevelyan finished for him, picking herself off the ground and sitting on his desk.

"Yes." Cullen twisted around, leaning his back against the door, "I did."

"I'm assuming this explanation will enlighten me on why exactly you came to the conclusion I was lying about what my brother did to me."

"I—..." Cullen sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, "Maker's breath...I knew this wouldn't be easy but—"

"You didn't trust me because I am a mage." Trevelyan pulled a knee under her chin, tilting her head down to lean on it, "Don't trust me because I am a mage."

"That isn't—"

"Then why, Cullen? Why feel the need to send a message to my parents asking if I was raped by my brother? If my brother put all these marks on my face?" Trevelyan shot up, balling her fists, "Do you think that would be something my parents knew? No one in the Circle, or outside of the Circle, knew that my brother raped me—not until I joined the Inquisition, not until you. I trusted you with that information, Cullen. I...I thought I could trust you."

"You can, Trev—" Cullen took a step forward.

"No." Trevelyan spoke softly, shaking her head, "No, I can't. You...Why didn't you speak with me, Cullen? Why send a message to my parents? Honestly, did you expect them to say 'Yes, our daughter was raped by her brother.' Is that the answer you were hoping for?"

"I don't know what answer I was looking for." Cullen hung his head.

"I think you knew. You knew, whether or not my parent either confirmed or denied the story, that you would end it." Trevelyan's shoulder shook as she held in her tears, "No one wants to be with someone who was...touched by their own family."

"That isn't true..." Cullen hesitantly took another step forward, and another until he reached Trevelyan and wrapped her in his arms. She didn't push him away, she couldn't. She didn't understand why either. She's wanted to cause this man pain, make him suffer for making her lose her entire life. But he comforted her, stroked her cheek, forced her to look up at him. His eyes were glazed with unshed tears, silently pleading with her to forgive him. That he loves her, that he will never forgive himself until she forgives him. How could she forgive him? Because of him she no longer had a family, a home. When the Inquisition was no more, she would be either an apostate or back in the tower, cowering under her bed and crying in her pillow until the next round of templars decided to have some fun with the mages.

She was so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn't realized his lips had grazed hers and the tears had started falling from his eyes. She tasted his tears, salty and regretful. She never knew she could taste regret, she liked it. She liked knowing that this man hurt, that he caused his own pain. But it wasn't fulfilling because he was sorry, for anything and everything he'd done to her. No, she couldn't let this happen.

"No." Trevelyan spoke rigidly, pressing a hand against Cullen's chest and firmly pushing him back.

"I—I thought—"

"You lost any chance of being with me, Cullen." Trevelyan moved around Cullen, walking over to the door. Cullen turned and watched her, moving closer to his desk and gripping on the edges. Trevelyan stopped at the door, her hand planted against the wood.

"I no longer have time to care about your feelings," Trevelyan spoke faintly, her eye staring down at the door handle, "I can no longer trust you...Commander. I can never forget what you did to me..."

"I—"

"But," Trevelyan cut him off, turning her head a little to the side for him to see her face, "I can try and start to forgive you. We leave for the Arbor Wilds as dawn. Be sure the Inquisition's army is ready for the journey."

"Yes...Inquisitor." Cullen leaned back on his desk with a loud thump. He watched Trevelyan leave, silently cursing at himself to chase after her. But she made it clear. He fucked up, they were done, she would never trust him again and he deserved it.