Chapter 4:
The night air was cool and damp outside as Preston Pig lay snoozing in his comfortable home. He'd opened the window to cool the house, taking advantage of the cool evening air after three days of relentless heat. The plump porker dreamed of hot apple pie and the scent of rose oil as the creaking of the house's old timbers crooned him a lullaby. Nearby, his son, Sweet-P, also dreamed, his mind wandering through fields of summer flowers. Both men dreamed of her. Tree Trunks had been gone for many years, but she lingered on in their memories.
Outside, sinister forces moved, slipping through the neat, orderly gardens and across the carefully manicured lawn. They had been searching for months. The target had been far harder to find than expected. It hardly seemed likely that the evil that they sought would be so unguarded. It seemed almost impossible that you could hide such a thing in plain sight. Most of the folk of Ooo reckoned that Finn the Human would have taken their quarry to some distant fortress and imprisoned it. Some had even suggested that he'd used his connections with the Queen of Vampires to send the target to the Night-O-Sphere. Instead, the target was here.
The leader of the little hit team came creeping up the lawn with a blade between his teeth and a set of picks ready to hand in his front pocket. He needed the picks to open a window. The front and back doors were both locked and trapped, so he'd be going in an alternate route. The name of the game was to get in, grab the package, and get out again.
Creeping up on the house, the thief slipped around to the side. Spying the open window, he thanked the stars for his luck. Taking hold of his knife, he went climbing through the opening into the room beyond. As his foot touched the floor, he stepped on a special board. That board tripped a latch, and that latch released a rope. As the thief tip-toed across the room, a tremendous racket arose as the bell on the roof started clanging, a loud horn began to wail, and the neighbors started to come to their doors. The startled thief sprang at a groggy Preston Pig, knocking him down.
The pig squealed as the thief stabbed him. Hearing the commotion, Sweet-P came up the hall, shouting for his father. The pig shouted for his son to call for help. Then he clamped his iron-hard teeth around his assailant's arm. Screams rang out, and Sweet-P heard the sounds of a ferocious fight in his parents' room. He could hear furniture getting overturned, squeals of pain and grunts of exertion from his dad, and screams from whoever his dad was fighting. Terrified, the young man went and grabbed the phone.
In the capitol, Billy sat at his desk working his way through the evening's reports. The city–indeed the whole country–was slowly quieting down again. Things were going back to the sleepy that the Candy Kingdom was known for. He didn't doubt that the lower-end thugs and dealers were still doing their thing. Thieves had to eat too. Still, the organization that Cherry had built was defeated in all its details, and he was, if not happy, very pleased about that. It couldn't bring back JJ. Nothing short of a wish would bring JJ back to him. He'd been pondering that a lot lately. The Wishmaster's Maze was just a few hours hard driving away. He was a wizard, and it was quite possible he could get through the maze all on his own.
And then what, he thought? Are you really ready to pay Aquandrius's price? He knew there would be a price to pay. The Wishmaster never let go one of his wish's without exacting a toll. Intelligent as he was, Billy knew that he didn't stand a chance in hell of outsmarting the Wishmaster. Ironically, he had come to surmise over the years that it wasn't his dad's smarts that was the key. Finn the Human had won because he knew his limits and didn't try to over-think the problem. Billy wasn't so blessed, so he'd come to the sad conclusion that he would be paying some horrific price to have his wife back.
What would Aquandrius do? If he wanted to be cruel, he could bring back the demonic thing inside Jake Junior. He could unleash the monster that had hidden inside her happy-go-lucky demeanor. Billy would have his wife back, but he wouldn't want what he had. Or, as Bon had suggested, the Wishmaster could simply manipulate things so that it was Billy who died that day, and wouldn't that be hell for his parents and sisters? Billy knew that would just about kill Star, and he didn't think any of them deserved that.
The young man went around in a circle and came right back to where he started, much as he had nearly every day for the past year and a half. JJ was gone, and he was coming to realize that there was no hope of ever getting her back. So what then? He wasn't sure he was ready to move on without her. Just before his mind started heading down dangerous paths, the phone rang. Billy picked up the phone, announcing, "go." It was the dispatcher. As he listened to the frantic call from Tree Trunks' place, he quickly grew alarmed. "Tell them we're on the way," said Billy.
Rising, he strode for the door of his office, snatching his jacket off the hook as he went. Out in the squad area, his eyes searched for a familiar set of blue-green peepers. He found Star at her desk in the corner with her face stuck in a book. He let that slide because he'd done much the same thing, taking advantage of his dad and his dad's dudes to study on the job. Now he had to interrupt Star's cramming session. Given Sweet-P's secret, Billy wanted as much firepower as he could get going out there.
Striding up to his sister, the young hero said, "need you to get your gear and meet me in the garage in five minutes. We're going on a special run." Star looked up at him with an expression somewhere between worry and surprise. He didn't wait. He knew her quality, and he just stepped off, heading for the stairs. After a moment, Star got up and followed, stopping by her locker on the wall to grab some extra firepower. She'd found a stash of her mother's old arrows gathering dust in the treehouse work room, and she'd sort of purloined them. Nobody seemed to really care, so she'd never taken them back. Now she shouldered the quiver and headed downstairs.
She found her brother waiting beside her truck. As she walked up, he asked, "ready?" "What's the job," she replied? "We're going to Sweet-P's place. Lights and siren." "Ok," said Star. "I drive." It was her truck after all. Billy paused only a moment. Then, with a curt nod, he went around to the passenger seat. Star climbed behind the wheel, put her arrows in the back, and started the engine. "You sure you can do this," he asked? "Buckle up," chuckled Star. She tore out of the garage at high speed, taking the corner on two wheels. Flicking the siren and lights on, she pushed her foot to the floor, and then Billy grabbed the sissy-bar on the dashboard and held on for dear life.
The streets were mostly empty this time of night, and Star tore through the streets like a shrieking banshee, tires squealing at the turns and motors screaming at all four wheels. Billy was impressed. His staid little sister had learned to drive somewhere. He had promised to help her with that. He'd promised to help her build a vehicle of her own to her own tastes, but he'd fallen down on that job. That added a little bit to his depression. He hadn't done very well by Star. Not that she had anything to complain of right now. Bonnie Bubblegum had bought her this ridiculous ride out of gratitude.
As they tore out onto the highway, Star adjusted the suspension, causing the heavy machine to ride a little higher. Now she drove a little more carefully, anticipating the turns as she wove her way in and out of the few vehicles on the highway at this hour and took the turns at shocking speeds. Noticing the white-knuckle grip her brother had on the sissy-bar, the little woman asked, "how you doin' over there?" Billy laughed. His right foot was getting a little tired from jamming on the brake pedal he didn't have, but he was ok otherwise.
As they tore through the countryside, Billy's phone rang. Letting go of the sissy-bar, he fumbled out his phone and flipped it open, calling out, "go." Star found her attention divided between the road and the conversation her brother was having. Billy motioned for her to stay focused on the road, as he fielded the dispatcher's comments. "Shit," said Billy, as he hung up. "It's getting serious. There's more than one dude there. Go cross-country. We're running out of time." Star flicked another switch, raising the truck's ride height even more. Feathering the throttle, she rolled up onto the embankment and off the highway. Moments later, they were thundering across the landscape, dodging trees and rocks and small animals as Star swerved this way and that.
"Nice truck," said Billy. The suspension was soaking up the bumps better than his own vehicle would have managed. With a grin, Star said, "motors at all four corners instead of one in the center. No axles to get in the way..." The wheels were completely independent of each other. Billy nodded. Maybe he needed to cash in some markers himself. The duo were close now, though. It was time to focus.
They could hear the alarm sirens and the bell that Banana Man had installed in Tree Trunks' place. Billy gathered himself, getting ready to throw down against whoever or whatever had decided to drop in on the Pig and his son. Star said, "grab my arrows. We might need 'em." Billy fished the quiver out of the back and held onto them as they came roaring up to Tree Trunks' place.
Star hammered the brakes, sucking rotational energy out of the wheels and feeding it back into the battery under the floor. Billy thrust the quiver at her as he dove from the truck before it had come to a stop. Star was just a moment behind him. She drew an arrow and slung the quiver over her shoulder as she scanned the scene. There were two or three corpses on the ground neraby. None of them were big enough to be Sweet-P, and none of them were the Pig. Booby traps, thought the wizard as she looked around. She knew from hints of things her father said in unguarded moments that the lawn around Tree Trunks' place was littered with traps. Finn had built and placed most of them himself. A lot of them could be triggered from inside. Star turned to Billy. The older man motioned for her to join him on the path. The path was safe. Mostly.
As they crept up the path towards the front door, Billy conjured glowing motes of frozen death that seemed to hover near his shoulders. Star felt a chill go up her spine at the sight. She worried about that. She'd been worrying over it ever since he'd admitted to having those powers. She knew the cost of that. She'd heard all the stories about how out and out cray-cray Simone and her dad had been when the Ice-Crowns possessed them. She feared that Billy was slowly falling under the sway of the crowns himself.
Step by step they went up the pathway. Star walked exactly where her brother walked and nowhere else. Many of the traps went active when that alarm system was on. As Billy stepped over and around some of the cobblestones leading up to Tree Trunks' old door, Star echoed his every move. They found a corpse on the walkway with a spear driven up through his butthole, through his stomach, and out his chest. It was a nasty way to go, and it told Star that she wasn't cut out for Fionna's lifestyle of raiding old dungeons. She wasn't interested in a short, tragic life.
They found two more corpses at the front door. The heavy door with its hidden steel panel had fallen out on them, crushing the life from both right there on the stoop. The inner door had been breeched. Billy stepped inside to find a thief laying there slumped against the wall next to the doorway. His right leg was a shredded mess, and he was breathing his last. He looked up at the pair coming through the door through a haze of pain and anguish, and Billy asked him, "who are you?" The thug said nothing. "Who paid you," asked Billy? The dead man said not a word and finally breathed his last. As the two stepped fully into the room, Star's eyes locked with a pair of frightened eyes down at the end of the hallway near the back bedrooms.
"Sweet-P," said Billy. The young man said nothing. He continued to stand right where he was. Billy stepped forward, calling the man-boy's name. "It's me," said he. "It's Billy..." Sweet-P backed away from them. "Star," said Billy. "Wait here..." Star, who'd been trailing her brother, stopped right where she was. She even put the arrow back in her quiver. Striding forward, Billy took a good look at the strange man-boy, who's body contained the Lich's Id. There was a look of pure terror in his eyes. And something else.
"Hey, buddy," said Billy. "I'm here now. You're gonna' be ok." Shaking himself, the boy said, "dad's hurt..." "Ok," said Billy. "Lead on." Sweet-P led one of his heroes down the hall to his parents' room. There Billy found Mr. Pig with a knife stuck in one shoulder and a dead man laying on top of him. The dead man's right arm seemed to be severed up near the shoulder, and the mutilated limb lay on the ground, looking as though it had been chewed off. Seeing Billy's expression, Preston Pig rumbled, "hey... I did what I had to do." Billy grimaced. That was... nasty.
Moving on, Billy pulled the dead guy off the Pig, finding a couple more holes in Sweet-P's dad. Billy went in the pack at his hip and came up with Bonnie Bubblegum's special healing elixir. She'd mixed up the oily goop after examining the cyclops tears that Finn made use of and now all the Banana Guard carried the stuff in their kits. Carefully, Billy drizzled a little of the elixir into the wounds on the Pig's gut. It was as important to deal with the damage inside as outside. The Pig hissed as he felt the stuff going to work. "So what happened," asked the young hero?
The Pig rolled his eyes and said, "some dudes broke in! Fuck you think happened?!" Lowering his voice, Preston Pig asked, "boy ok?" "A little scared," replied Billy. "He's not hurt. Handled this like a trooper. Called us. Stayed on the phone with dispatch." Nodding, the Pig said, "anything... bad." Shaking his head, Billy replied, "just scared I think." "Ok," replied the Pig. By now they could hear the ambulance outside. "Star," shouted Billy! "Go out there and meet them!" The last thing they needed was for the ambulance's crew to get chewed up in their dad's traps.
Sweet-P looked lost as they loaded his dad on the ambulance. The Pig did his best to comfort the boy, but he was clearly terrified. "He's gonna' be ok," said Star as her dad shut the ambulance doors. The terrified man-boy nodded as the ambulance tore out of there. As Star watched, her brother and her grim-faced father went back up the walkway to the house. Star found herself looking after Sweet-P. She knew of the Lich's strange 'host body', but she'd never seen him in person. He was a little creepy. Nevertheless, she did her best to keep him calm.
Inside the house, Billy said, "these guys are members of the Caramel-Street Reapers." They'd all had the ink on their bodies. Billy had looked them over while the ambulance crew was getting things sorted. Finn nodded grimly. It was clear the implications of that weren't lost on him. The Reapers were on the edges of the Candy Kingdom underworld, but they had become larger players since Cherry's arrest. Question was, what the fuck was she doing? Having held Bonnie prisoner for months, she had access to a lot of knowledge about the kingdom's secrets. Did she know what Sweet-P was? Had she been trying for him?
"It could be the Pig," muttered Finn. "He was up to his eyeballs in the gangs once..." He'd sworn he quit, but Finn knew how hard it was to escape that life once you were in it. Billy grimaced. How could he not see what was right before their eyes? He was appalled to think that his dad could still be so charmed by Cherry Cream Soda's pussy that he would defend her. At the same time, a corner of his mind asked the question, and you weren't? He couldn't quite forget that he'd bought and believed every lie JJ told him. "Ok," muttered Billy. "I'll dig into what the Pig was up to. What're we doing with Sweet-P?" "Moving him to town," replied Finn. "I'll take him with me. I'll get him stashed with somebody I trust."
The pair left the house and went back down the path. Up ahead, Sweet-P was talking to Star. Calmer now, he stood staring at the wood-nymph, while she stared off into the darkness. "Pretty," said he as he brushed her hair with a fat, sausage-like finger. The little woman frowned up at him. "Don't touch," she muttered. "Not without permission." Sweet-P blushed and glanced down at his feet. Seeing her dad and brother come up, she asked, "what we doing?" "I'm'a take Sweet-P somewhere safe," said Finn. Billy told his sister, "we'll get back to town and write this up." "Right," said Star. She was a little behind on her studies. Which reminds me, she thought. "Hey, dad," she called? Finn, who'd been about to walk away, asked, "hmm?" "Daddy, I... have a little problem at school," the wood nymph explained.
Turning to Sweet-P, Finn said, "go have a seat in my truck. I'll be right there." When the strange man-boy had gone, Finn turned to his beloved daughter and asked, "what's up?" Face gone hot, the little woman explained her issues with her teachers, carefully omitting the fact that she was so often late to class because she followed Billy home every day. An irritated Finn said, "I'll take care of it." While he agreed with his wives and their obsession with having the kids go to school–since he wanted them to have better lives than he did–he drew the line with some yo-yo hassling his daughter because she was trying to make a living for herself. He'd go to the stupid conference and straighten this guy up quick. Giving Star a peck on the cheek, the big man got on his way, leaving Star and Billy alone.
Without a word, Star went and tossed her weapons in the back of her truck. Billy was waiting at the passenger door when she was done. Star climbed into the driver's seat, reached over, and opened his door. As the two buckled themselves up, Billy asked, "are you afraid of me?" Star glanced up with a look of worry in her eyes. Nodding, he said, "you aren't the only one to worry sometimes... I... it's why I never said anything." Star sighed heavily. That wasn't the biggest thing worrying her about him, but she knew better than to bring that up right now. Softly, she said, "be careful, big brother. I... Don't break my heart, ok?"