Authors Note:

Welp! I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has seen my story so far and enjoyed it! Even if you don't enjoy it, please leave CONSTRUCTIVE criticism for ways of how I can improve! I am still an aspiring writer and am quite young also, I have plenty of time to learn!

So, without further ado, let's continue the story!

Chapter Four:

Early Morning Madness

Amethyst POV

Dear diary,

Oh fuck this shit, writing a diary is for fucking four year olds, and even then, when are four year olds going to even write, let alone write useful meaningful shit? UGH WRITING A FUCKING DIARY MAKES ME SO GOD DAMN ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED WHY AM I STILL EVEN WRITIN—

Yeah.

So Rose said that when I get angry I should try writing about it, try to filter any negative energy into something positive so I can sleep better, take more care of myself, and have something to tell my problems to. I didn't tell her that it didn't work because she noticed the torn book in the trash and giggled her small little giggle.

I hadn't been struggling to badly lately anyway, the last thing I needed was some trashy one dollar book from someone's butt pocket that was used as an ash tray. OH GOD HERE I GO AGAIN. Garnet said I needed to control my frustration; I am starting to see why she may be right...

I am not even angry at real issues though. And it's less anger, more worry and anxiety over Pearl. Rose said she's fine but I doubt it, she's pulling a me, she hasn't left her room for days and I can't help thinking of her.

It's unlike me to worry about someone or to grow attached to someone but I love the feeling and she made me feel... important... It sounds strange in my head considering her reluctance to accept me in the beginning but, I don't even care about that now, she changed me, and I just feel like... like I am going to get broken.

"Trust me on this one Amethyst... You will get broken..." Garnet's voice and hand on my shoulder shocked me and I looked up at her shining glasses.

"You can read minds?!" I voiced allowed.

She laughed, and turned her back on the ocean (we were standing on the decking above the sand and before the beach). "No, nothing too fancy!" She winked, I mean, it seemed like the perfect opportunity to, but her reflective glasses seemed to hide her eyes so... "But I do have a certain ability! Anyway, a magician never reveals there tricks."

"B-but, what do you mean I will get broken?" I spluttered desperately as she made her way back inside. She turned dramatically, and smiled.

"You know exactly what I mean..."

Then the door shut and she left me spluttering and unhopeful. Pearl still didn't come out for days.

When she did, she barely even looked at me.

I woke up to another cold and blustery morning but I decided to sit outside anyway, I didn't want to be trapped away in the house again. The house was dark and gloomy in this early hour and I was so done with dark and gloomy spaces.

I sighed heavily, looking to the pale milky sky, wispy remnants of clouds evaporating and changing as day washed away the sign of the moon. I admired the way clouds adapted and changed with whatever fazed them. I wish I was like that...

"Good morning Amethyst!" I heard Garnet say from the door. She took of her glasses and looked at me closely with all three of her eyes. "You miss her still?" She sighed. "Amethyst, you have nothing to miss, she wasn't even decent to you!"

I shook my head. "You don't understand, none of you ever understand!" I ran inside and then bumped into Pearl.

"A-Amethyst!"

I growled at her and gave her a foul look. "What's this then!" I snapped. "You hide away for a week and then when you come out you don't say a fucking thing! And NOW you're pleased to see me? Get outta my face Peeaaarl." I said her name in a low growl and with as much venom as I could muster. She deserved every bit of it. She let me down. She lifted me up and then let me go.

"No Amethyst you have to understa—"

I spun round. "OH, I HAVE TO UNDERSTAND NOW, HUH? WHAT ABOUT YOU FOR ONCE PEARL, SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU EVER UNDERSTOOD ME?" I bit my lip in shame and anger and I felt my eyes sting, tears flew from my eyes and I clenched my fists, whipping them away furiously and running to my room.

I only faintly heard Garnet say to pearl from behind me, "well, there's more to where that came from", and then Pearl telling her to shut up.

I couldn't handle a smile, I just shook my head and cursed under my breath for having to be so pathetic and weak all the time. I hated every minute of being here, at least with Jasper I knew what was coming my way. Here? I never knew anything. And I hated being in the dark, I hated being unsure and helpless. Tears streamed down my cheeks and this time I let them come.

Authors Note:

Sorry for such a short chapter, I just felt that this was a good way to end it and OH BOI THE FEELS :') I love writing this because ahhhh as I write I find out about the story myself and SCRREEEEEE I am so happy with this :')