Back in D.C.

I packed up and headed back to D.C. late Sunday afternoon. I had spent Saturday night and Sunday morning watching various movie marathons and thinking about my next course of action.

I arrived back at my apartment in the early evening, giving me enough time to wash some clothes and relax a little before going back to work Monday morning. I had not touched my phone since I had turned it off and threw it onto the seat beside me when I left Friday afternoon. I picked it up and put it in my pocket and brought it into my apartment. I fell onto my couch and turned the phone on. I saw that my mailbox was full and that I had had many missed calls. All, I was sure, were from Gibbs and I had not intention of answering them.

I arrived at work Monday with minutes to spare. I had arrived later than usual on purpose. I didn't want a 'scene' with Gibbs the first thing in the morning. I didn't want to have to explain why I was 'unreachable' over the weekend. But mostly, I just wanted to put it off as long as possible. I was dreading the talk, whenever we had it, and I was sure, judging from Friday night, it would not turn out good.

I sat down at my desk and made myself look busy, avoiding Gibbs gaze.

"DiNozzo! Elevator! Now!" Gibbs said as he walked past my desk to the elevator.

I got up, obediently and followed him. I wasn't sure what to expect. I almost expected to be fired.

I followed Gibbs on. He allowed the doors to close and flipped the switch before he spoke.

"I have been trying to call you all weekend." Gibb started.

"I know." I said.

"You were avoiding taking your Team Leader's calls?" Gibbs asked.

"No, I was avoiding Leroy Jethro Gibbs's calls." I stated. "There's a difference."

Gibbs just waited, staring at me.

"I worked very hard to keep the team together." I said. "They all felt abandoned…by you. But you weren't here, so they took it out on me." I paused. "It wasn't fair to me, but that was how it was. I had to deal with it. And NO Gibbs, respect is not automatic, it must be earned. I had been their Senior Field Agent, but not their Team Leader. I had to earn their respect by doing the job correctly. I did that, but the respect didn't come. They were not interested in the job I was doing. They weren't interested in how well or how badly I was doing it. They were ONLY interested in when YOU were coming back. I did the job as best I could, because I would do no less. But I didn't get their respect, Gibbs." I paused. "I didn't get their respect because of you. It was like they all were holding their breaths waiting for you to return. Waiting for you to come back and make things RIGHT, make them like they used to be."

Gibbs remarkably didn't speak. He just waited for me to continue.

"You solidified for me how little my contribution meant when you came back, unannounced and just dumped my things back on my desk. It was like you were telling me what they all were. I can put up with this joker, this wanna-be until Gibbs gets back. Gibbs. Gibbs. Gibbs. That's all I heard." I paused again, my anger lessening. "And to answer your question…as Team Leader and former probie you should have understood the pressure I was under to prove myself and to do my job. But Leroy Jethro Gibbs, with the famous second "b", he got all hot under the collar wondering how DARE I have the balls to even suggest HE should call me and let me know he was coming back. How DARE I suggest he should ask for his team back. HE created it from the ground up. HE hand-picked the members. It is HIS team." I said throwing Friday night's conversation back in his face. "The Team Leader respects me, but Leroy Jethro Gibbs does not." I concluded. "And you made a very PUBLIC and very damning display of it when you dumped my things back on my old desk and then acted as though you had never left. That the last 4 months of my blood, sweat and tears had not existed, and therefore, didn't matter. They all got it, and they took your lead. You had never left. Things had never changed, so what the hell was my problem? Why couldn't I just get over it and move on?"

Gibbs just stood his arms crossed over his chest. "Are you finished, DiNozzo?"

I just looked at him, surprised by this reaction. I expected him to chew me out, to launch into a tirade. But he just looked at me, staring almost. It's a little unnerving and I flinched involuntarily. I finally nodded my head.

"I told no one I was coming back. I didn't know. I just…I got up that morning and I came here. I saw my old desk and sat down. I started looking for my things, and finding yours. I…I decided then, Tony, split-second decision, I swear." Gibbs paused and looked at me for a moment. My expression must have told everything I was feeling, because when he spoke again. "I know how good you are, Tony. I know you. I never, ever meant to do anything to undermine that. I never meant to do anything to make you doubt yourself. Given what I know about your past, I…I am very careful about that. I try to be. I was way, far, out of line Friday night. I know that. I wanted to tell you that for the past two days. I have filled up your voice mailbox and I am sure you have about 200 missed calls. My actions and my reactions towards you were inexcusable as you boss and as your friend."

It was my turn to stand and stare this time. This was so weird. He was too nice. I didn't like it.

"I hope you can forgive me. I just thought you seeing me, sitting at my old desk. It would mean…I WAS back. I was ready to go and that I was ready to lead the team again. NOT that I was throwing all you did away. I would not have had a team to come back to, if it hadn't been for you. I know that, believe me, I know that. I wanted it to be back to the old times, too, but in a good way."

I was smiling. I couldn't help myself. "You're breaking one of your own rules."

"It's okay to apologize when it's among friends." Gibbs replied.

"This doesn't automatically fix things." I explained.

"I know." Gibbs offered

"I still should have gotten a phone call."

"Agreed." Gibbs stated.

"Next time you leave, you take me with you." I said smiling. "I suggest Hawaii. Surf, sand, hot, tanned, Hawaiian babes…." I said, letting my mind wander for a second.

"Absolutely not." Gibbs grinned.

Gibbs and I both turned to face the elevator doors when he flipped the switch.

I glared at him and rubbed the back of my head as we stepped off the elevator. "You just had to remember EVERY damn thing didn't you."

THE END

End Notes:
I am sorry for the sweet, sappy ending, if that's not your thing. I like Tony's and Gibbs's relationship dynamic so much, for the most part, that I think these ending are very appropriate. I didn't address the lack of disrespect of the other team members for Tony the way I had planned. But I think allowing Tony to vent his feelings, first to Greg then to Gibbs made up for it, a little.